Weirder Things
by Cowboy Alchemist
Summary: When Patrick Pines is sent to Gravity Falls with his two cousins, Dipper and Mabel, he thought it was going to be another boring summer. But when they find a journal in the woods, and things start to get really weird. Patrick must do everything to protect his family, as they try to solve the mysteries of Gravity Falls, as well as take on weird and dangerous supernatural forces.
1. The Tourist Trappers

**What's going on guys, Cowboy Alchemist here, and here's my** _ **Gravity Falls**_ **fic:**

 ** _Weirder Things_**

 **When I first saw this cartoon, just like so many cartoons, I feel in love with it. The main thing that really stood out for me was the mystery and the characters.**

 **Pairs:**

 **OC x Wendy Corduroy**

 **Dipper Pines x Pacifica Northwest (much later in the story)**

 **And with that, here we go.**

* * *

 **{Play** _ **Stranger Things**_ **theme by Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein}**

 _At the beginning of the intro, there is nothing but blackness._

 _Then about three seconds later, a bunch photographs started falling from above in slow motion._

 _Getting a closer look at one of the photographs, while others twirled and spun in the background in slow motion, shows the town of Gravity Falls from a distance._

 _Another picture shows the Mystery Shack during the night time, with bright lights shining thought the windows._

 _One photo shows a thundering sky that had a large, flying creature's shadow being seen through the dark clouds. The camera then focuses on a picture behind the previous one, showing large claw marks on a tree trunk, as more photos were seen falling._

 _Three photos are focused on now, one showing an angry Gnome, the second showing something that resembles the Long Ness Monster, and the third show a dinosaur tooth trapped in amber._

 _The camera shows the cluster of photographs continuing to fall, before angling downwards to show all of them lying on a flat surface, collecting in a pile._

 _The camera then gradually moves back to show more of the photos landing. After the last of the photos were on the surface, the camera moves upwards, displaying nothing but blackness again. Then the title of the story appeared in a flash of light._

 _ **WEIRDER THINGS**_

 _It then disappeared, before the chapter title appeared._

 **Chapter One**

 **The Tourist Trappers**

* * *

Up on the edge of a cliff, there was a sign that said _"Welcome to Gravity Falls"_.

 _CRASH!_

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Two voices screamed out in fear, as a golf cart suddenly crashed through the sign. The golf cart drove off the cliff after breaking through the sign and fell nose first downwards a few feet, before landing on the a dirt road. It swayed left and right, with two of the three occupants still screaming, as the driver drove it off another ledge. Luckily it wasn't that far of a drop.

However, a few feet behind the speeding cart, a few trees were being toppled over, as a terrifying roar pierced the air.

One of the three occupants—a short 12 year-old girl with round blushing cheeks, long brown hair that reaches her hips, brown eyes, and silver-colored braces—turned her body around to face in the direction of the trees. "It's getting closer!" She said in fear.

"Most go faster! Most go faster!" The second kid in the cart said repeatedly. The person was a boy that looked very similar to the girl, only with somewhat messier and shorter hair, and bags under his eyes, wearing a navy blue hooded vest, a reddish-orange T-shirt, gray shorts, white socks with a red stripe, and black sneakers.

"I'm trying, but this is the fastest it's going to go!" exclaims the driver of the cart, who was a 16 year old teen. He had unkempt black hair that passed his ears, matching colored eyes, with bags under them. He wore a woodland camo boonie hat, a red T-shirt, blue jeans, and grey and black hiking shoes, with black socks.

Whatever was chasing them cast its large shadow over the cart. Then two large hands reached out towards the moving vehicle. The older boy saw this in one of the side mirror's and pressed down on the gas pedal with all his weight, speeding the cart up just before the hands could grab them. However, this caused him to drive over a pile of randomly placed rocks, which acted like a ramp and had the golf cart jump off the ground. The cart spun in midair, then landed back on the dirt road.

It bounced off the ground a few times, before the driver got control of the vehicle and accelerated it away from the monster still chasing them. The driver had a determined expression, the boy next to him sighed in relief, and the girl on the boy's other side held a hand to her mouth with her cheeks puffed out, looking like she was going to vomit.

The teen then saw a shadow appearing on the below them. The three looked up to see a large tree sailing over the cart.

"Look out!" The girl pointed out in front

It landed on the road in front of the vehicle. The teen eyes' widened at first, before he glared at the tree and speeded up. The two kids screamed in terror, as the cart came closer to their imitate collision.

Then everything paused.

 _Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You're probably asking "How the hell did you get here"._

 _Geez, what happened to us? This was supposed to be a normal summer experience. Just us against the world, away from home and our parents! And now look—we're driving away from a monster of both unimaginable horror and… weirdness._

 _But don't worry, there's a perfectly logical explanation for what's going on… Sort of._

 _But first, let's start from the beginning._

Charging to a different scene, the teenager was now standing at a bus stop, alone, reading a book with one hand, while his other hand was in his pocket. A bored expression covered his face, and next to his feet was a duffle bag.

"PATRICK!" a girl's voice shrieked with joy. Before Patrick could prepare himself, the young girl ran at him from the left, dropped her two duffle bags, and jumped onto him, knocking him over on his back as she hugged him. The young boy then approached them with a much calmer tone. Just like the girl, he had on a large backpack and hand a duffle bag in each hand.

"Hey, man," he said. "What's up?"

"Mabel! Get off me!" Patrick demanded, annoyed, as he lifted up the girl, now known as Mabel, and set her on her feet. She giggled and stepped back to stand next to the boy. Patrick then got up and dusted himself off.

 _That's me, Patrick Pines._

Patrick then looked at the boy, who was wearing a greenish brown ball cap and had a bit of sunscreen on his nose.

 _This guy right here is my cousin, Dipper._

He then looked at Mabel, who was wearing a short-sleeved pink undershirt underneath a slightly-dark fuchsia sweater with a shooting star with a rainbow-colored tail falling toward the left, a matching fuschia headband, a loose purple pencil skirt, and black slipper shoes with white socks.

 _And the little bag of sunshine next to him is his twin sister, Mabel._

 _The reason we're here at a bus stop alone is because my aunt and uncle decided that the twins could use some fresh air, and my parents wanted me to join them. So they gave us bus tickets and we were sent on up north to a sleepy town called Gravity Falls, Oregon, to stay with our great uncle's place in the woods._

At Gravity Falls, on the second floor of the house they were going to be staying at, the three of them were inside of a large attic, unpacking and setting up their beds for the night. There were three beds, two near a large window with a dresser against the wall between them, and one bed near the door.

The Mabel was standing on her bed while hanging posters over her bed. "This attic is amazing," she said, facing her family. "Check out all my splinters!" She held up her hands to show them having multiple size splinters sticking out of them.

Patrick stared at her for a few seconds, before sighing, and fished into his backpack. He pulled out a first aid kit, opened it, and took out a pair of tweezers before walking over to her. "Mabel, how times have I done this now," he asked, as he got on one knee and Mabel sat on the edge of the bed, before Patrick grabbing her hand to take out the splinters.

"Ten," she admitted with a blush in slight embarrassment.

"Then let's not have an eleventh time, shall we?" Patrick pulled the last splinter out and patted her head, earning a giggle from Mabel.

Dipper was walking backwards, looking up at the triangular ceiling, when he backed up into his bed. He stopped when he heard a goat, and turned around to see the animal standing on his bed. "And there's a goat on my bed," he commented.

"Hey friend." Mabel greeted the goat when she walks up to it. The goat leans towards her and starts chewing on her right sleeve. "Oh! Yes, you can keep chewing on my sweater," she said before laughing. Patrick watched the scene from his side of the room. He rolled his eyes, shook his head, and smirked.

 _Like I said, sunshine in a bag. That's what Mabel's all about. She someone you can see looking at the bright side of everything._

* * *

"Yay! Glass!" Mabel cheered as she rolls down a hill outside. She passed by a tree that Dipper was sitting against. He had a book open in his hands with a pen in his mouth, and an annoyed expression on his face, as a woodpecker was standing on his hat, pecking it.

 _Dipper, on the hand, was having a hard time getting used to our new surroundings. Not really a surprise there. I've always thought of him as the one to stayed indoors and read mystery books._

"BOO!" Suddenly a guy wearing a green monster mask jumped out at him from behind the tree.

"AH!" Dipper yelped out in terror and shock, causing him to fall over.

The guy then took off his mask, revealing himself to be an old man with brown eyes, gray hair and eyebrows, a somewhat large pear-shape, reddish-pinkish nose, large ears, and fair skin, and a pair of rectangular glasses. His outfit consists of a maroon fez, a black suit, with the jacket buttoned closed, a bow tie, similar in color to his fez, a white dress shirt, and big light brown shoes. The old man starts laughing at Dipper.

 _And last but not least of my family members at Gravity Falls is our Great Uncle Stanford, or Grunkle Stan, as Mabel calls him. I just call him Stan._

Stan slapped his knee with his right hand, while his left hand was holding onto a cane with an eight ball handle. He continued laughing at the glaring boy before coughing several times and hits his chest to clear himself. "It was worth it," he said in between coughs.

* * *

Stan, now wearing an unnecessary eyepatch over the right lens of his glasses, was now leading a group tourist through an exhibit of some sorts, with had displays of strange and wacky statues and poorly made pieces that looked they were put together in under a minute. Patrick was sweeping next to a pedestal with a stuffed Jackalope displayed on it.

 _I can't remember anything about him, mostly because mom always had this kind of grudge against him and never allowed any of us to visit him. It took a lot of convincing from my aunt, uncle, and dad to get her to agree to let me come. The only thing I was able to learn about him was that he transformed his house into a tourist trap he called "The Mystery Shack."_

 _But like Dipper said, "The only real mystery is why anyone even came."_

One of the antlers fell off. Patrick panicked a bit and quickly grabbed it and jabbed it back on the head. Turning to the group he smiled nervously to act as though nothing was wrong. However, to his luck, they weren't even paying any attention to him.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Stan said to the group with excitement, "behold! The Sascrotch!"

Said 'Sascrotch' was nothing more than a model Sasquatch wearing underwear. The tourist start speaking excitedly and with wonder, clapping and cheering as some snapped pictures of it.

Patrick looked at them with a small amount of disbelief, and slapped his face in exasperation. He then walked away from the group of tourist and entered into the gift shop of the Mystery Shack. In there, he found Dipper restocking some of the merchandise, and Mabel looking at a large fake eyeball.

 _And if you couldn't already tell, we have to work there._

"Ooh!" She reached out to touch the eyeball, only to have her hand slapped by Stan's 8-ball cane.

"No touching the merchandise!" He told her.

 _So that's how it is. Me, Dipper, and Mabel against the everyday life of the Mystery Shack! Not how I wanted my summer vacation to be like, but at least I was able to be with my cousins, who I rarely see except for on holidays._

 _Little did I know that on one fateful day, everything was about to change…_

* * *

A few days after getting settled into the Mystery Shack, Patrick, Dipper, and Mabel were up their usual activities; doing chores around the gift shop. Patrick was sweeping the floors and Dipper was spray cleaning the glass jars that contained various different items.

Patrick was looking down at the floor as he swept, only to stop when he saw two small shoes in front of his broom. Raising his head, he saw Mabel watching something between a pair of 'Stan-bubbleheads.' "Mabel what are you doing," he asked her. "You're supposed to be—" He didn't finish when Mabel grabbed the neck of his shirt and pulled him down to her height.

"Shh!" She shushed him with an excited expression, not looking away from what she was preoccupied with. "He's looking at it! He's looking at it!" She whispered to him. Patrick, get her hand off his shirt, stood up straight and turned his head in the direction she was looking at.

He saw that it was a boy her age looking at an unfolded note. "Uh… Do you like me?" He read the note out loud. "Yes? Definitely? Absolutely?" The boy looked very confused, and looked around with a nervous expression.

Patrick looked down at his cousin with an unimpressed face. "Really?"

"I rigged it!" She said.

"Mabel," Dipper said from behind her, making his twin turn her attention to him as he was cleaning a jar fill with fake eyes, "I know you're going through your whole 'Boy Crazy' phase, but I think you're kind of overdoing it with the 'crazy' part."

"What?" She exclaimed, before blowing a raspberry and walking up to her brother. "Come _on_ , Dipper! This is our first summer away from home! It's my big chance to have an epic summer romance!"

"Mabel, you 12 years old," Patrick told her, joining in on the conversation. "You shouldn't be worrying about dating. And besides, you flirted with almost every guy you've met since day one!"

"Like that kid you tried to flirt with and ended up pushing him into the postcard rack," Dipper said.

"Or that guy with the turtle." Patrick then cringed. "And need I mention the Mattress Prince?"

"Yeah, that was just creepy on your party, Mabel," Dipper said, also cringing.

"Mock all you want, brother and cousin," Mabel said was a knowing smile, "but I got a good feeling about this summer. I wouldn't be surprised if the man of my dreams walked through that door right now." She pointed her thumb over her shoulder towards the entrance that lead to the museum. The two boys looked doubtfully at her and turned their attention to the doorway.

And as soon after she said that, their Grunkle Stan walked out of the doorway, carrying a few arrow signs under his right arm. He burped, but it gets caught in his throat. "Oh!" He clenched his stomach with his free hand. "Oh, not good. Ow."

"Aww! Why!" Mabel wined making Dipper laugh and Patrick snicker.

"Hey, don't knock it, 'til you try it," the older Pine said, making Dipper laugh more and Mabel to place her hands on her face in embarrassment.

"All right, all right, look alive, people," Stan told everyone, bring the younger Pine's attention to him. "I need someone to go hammer up these signs in the spooky part of the forest."

"Not it!" Dipper quickly said, raising his hand.

"Not it!" Mabel said after him, raising her hand.

"Not it!" Patrick said and raised his hand, only to realize he was the last one to say it. "Dammit."

"Uh, also not it," said another employee named Soos. He was a stocky guy, with a light brown cap, had light peach fair skin, and buck teeth, similar to those of a beaver. He wore dark brown shoes, beige shorts and a jade greenish gray shirt with a big dark green, poorly painted question mark on the front and the word "Staff" on the back.

"Nobody asked you, Soos," Stan told him with a deadpanned expression.

"I know, and I'm comfortable with that," he said, before taking a bite out of a chocolate bar.

 _The big guy is Soos. He's been an employee at the Mystery Shack long before we got there. He's friendly enough, though he can be weird at times._

"Wendy," Stan called out to a very tall and skinny girl who was a year younger than Patrick. She had green eyes, a fair complexion and some freckles, has long red hair just past her hips. She had on a tan and dark brown lumberjack hat, emerald green plaid/flannel shirt with a white tank top underneath, green stub earrings, blue jeans, and muddy rain boots. "I need you to put up these signs!"

"I would," she said from her place at the chase register, sitting in a chair with her feet propped up on the counter, reading a magazine, "but I, ugh, can't, ugh, reach it, ugh..." Wendy stretched out her hand to it, but didn't bother to get up.

Patrick let out a quick snicker, careful not to have his Grunkle notices. But Wendy heard it and sent him a quick smirk.

 _And lastly, Wendy. She's perhaps the best thing to come out of this place, and yes, I admit I have a bit of a crush on her… okay, a big crush, but can you blame me? The fact that she's a nice, mellow, fun-loving, and beautiful girl who happens working at Stan's place with us only makes it better. And while she's more of a slacker and I'm more of the responsible worker (who is prone to stress, sometimes), we've actually become friends quickly, after our first meeting involve her complimenting my boonie hat and me doing the same her lumberjack hat._

"I'd fire all of you if I could," Stan stated before turning towards Patrick, Dipper, and Mabel. "All right, let's make it…" he put his two pointer fingers together and started pointing between them. "Eenie, meenie, miney..." In the end, the old man singled out Dipper. "You."

"Aw, what?" A surprised Dipper said. "Grunkle Stan, whenever I'm in those woods I feel like I'm being watched."

"Ugh, this again." Stan pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance.

"I'm telling you, something weird is going on in this town," Dipper said pointing at him. "Just today, my mosquito bites spelled out 'BEWARE'." He rolled up his sleeve and showed Stan his bites. The old man squinted to get a closer look, only to raise an eyebrow.

"That says 'BEWARB'." He told the male twin. This made Dipper reexamine his bites and saw that it indeed spelled bewarb.

"I'd like to point out that it's scary the mosquitoes know how to spell words." Patrick told Stan, stretching the back of his head. However, he too had the same eerie feeling Dipper had about their new environment. Something about the town was telling him to beware of danger.

He'd always shrugged it off as him just being paranoid and his responsibilities to keeping his cousins safe.

"Look, you two. The whole 'monsters in the forest' thing is just local legend, drummed up by guys like me to sell merch to guys like that." Stan gestured to a tourist, who was sweeting, and seemed to be very infatuated with the Stan-bubblehead he had in his hand. "So quit being so paranoid!" Stan dumped the signs into Dippers arms, making him sigh before heading out. After he left, Stan did too, leaving only Patrick, Mabel, Wendy, and Soos in the gift shop.

Patrick was about to resume sweeping, but stopped when he thought about Dipper being all alone out there. Listing many thinks that could happen to him, the older boy sighed and dropped the broom and fast walked to the house's exit. "I better go with him," he announced to the other, before opening and exiting the door. He spotted Dipper on the outskirts of the woods. "Hey, Dipper!"

Dipper turned around to see his cousin running up to him. "What are you doing here," he asked as Patrick approached him.

"What? Can't family help each other out?" Patrick asked jokingly. "Besides, you forget the hammer." He held up said tool need to put the nails into the tree.

"Thanks, Patrick." Dipper smiled gratefully at him, before the two entered into the forest.

* * *

The dark clouds were now building up over head, and the two Pines boys were almost done.

Patrick hammered a nail into the trunk of a tree before stepping to the side. "Next sign," he told Dipper and nodded at the nail. He noticed that the child had an annoyed expression as he hung a sign that had _'AMAZING'_ on it. Patrick had an idea for the look and sighed lightly. "You still bummed about your bites?"

"It's not about the bites, Patrick," Dipper responded depressingly, as they moved on to the next tree. "It's the fact that no one believes me."

Patrick walked to the next tree and hammered the nail into the bark. "I can't really say I believe you completely, either." He stepped to the side to let Dipper hang up a sign that said _'To The Mystery Shack.'_ "Trust me, I have the same feel about this place as you do, but I'm going to need evidence to back that up."

Dipper hung up the sign and backed away. "I guess you're right," he said, before the two walked on to the next tree.

"And come on," Patrick said, trying to cheer him up, before placing the tip of the nail on the trunk, "what's the chances of us finding anything out here?" He struck the head of the nail, only for the both of them to jolt in shock when it made a metallic sound. Glancing at the hammer's head before looking at one another, Patrick and Dipper turned back to the tree, confused by what had happened. With the hammer still in his right hand, the teen placed his left ear to the tree and tapes it. The results were the same metallic sound.

"It sounds hollow," Dippers said, walking up to his cousin's right, who tossed the hammer aside.

"Yeah, and it's cool." Patrick stated, as his left ear and cheek felt the coldness when on contacts with the tree. Placing his hand on the trunk, he moved it across, wiping away some dust. His fingers felt a brim, prompting him to pull on it with both hands, resulting in him opening a secret hatch. To their surprise, inside the hatch was a small mechanical box with two control switches on top. Dipper moved in front of Patrick and tested one of the switches, but nothing happens. He then tries the other one.

The bleats of Grompers before running away behind them, and another mechanical sound, made the two boys turned around, seeing now a hole in the ground. Cautiously walking over to it, Patrick and Dipper looked down into it. "What the?" The young boy said, as they saw what appeared to be a book covered in dust and spider webs.

Reaching into the hole, Dipper pulled out the book, and blew on it. The dust cleared off, revealing the book's cover to be a burgundy color, with various rips and tears which could have been due to aging, two gold lines on its spine, and all four of its corners are gold. However the most interesting part of the cover was that in the middle was a gold hand with six fingers and the number _3_ in the middle.

"Three?" Patrick asked before Dipper placed the book on the ground. As he messed with it, his older cousin scanned their surroundings. This had a 3 on it, right? So that means that there's got to be a first and second book. "Where are the other two?"

"Hey, Patrick, check this out," Dipper said, which prompted him to kneel down next to him. The young boy had already opened the book, and had turned to a page that was dated to June 18, but without a year. "'It's hard to believe it's been six years since I began studying the strange and wondrous secrets of Gravity Falls, Oregon.'" After reading that letter aloud, Dipper started flipping through the pages. Each page they saw contained notes, with well-drawn pictures of strange creatures, photographs of things and places, pictographs, and for some reason a page about Gnomes.

"What is all of this," Patrick asked, further freaked out by the contents of the book. But then he noticed a page, before Dipper pasted over it. "Wait! Go back." He turned back the page himself, stopping at a page that had the words _'TRUST NO ONE!'_ on it, before reading out loud. "'Unfortunately, my suspicions have been confirmed. I'm being watched. I must hide this book before he finds it. Remember: in Gravity Falls there is no one you can trust.'"

"No one you can trust…" Dipper repeated the words as they glanced at each other.

"Okay, that was nice," Patrick suddenly said. "Time to put it back, now!"

"HALLO!" Mabel yelled, jumping out from behind a log.

"AH!" Patrick and Dipper screamed in shock, before the latter quickly shut the book and hide it behind his back. Patrick was taking deep breaths with his hand over his heart, feeling it hit the inside of his chest like a jackhammer. He quickly turned his head to glare at her. "What the hell is your problem?!"

"Hey! No swearing." She pointed at him, trying to scold him, before smiling again. "What'cha readin', some nerd thing?"

"Uh, uh, it's nothing!" Dipper told her, but it was easily seen as a lie.

"'Uh, uh, it's nothing!'" Mabel imitated him with waving hands, before laughing. "What? Are you actually not gonna show me?"

"Uhhh..." Dipper glanced behind him to see Grompers nibbling on the edge of the journal. "Let's go somewhere private."

* * *

Soon they were back at the Mystery Shack, and where now in the living room.

"It's amazing!" Dipper exclaimed in excitement, as Mabel was sitting on one of the armrests of a gold colored recliner, and Patrick was in the kitchen getting a soda. "Grunkle Stan said I was being paranoid," he said before opening the book to the _'TRUST NO ONE'_ page, "but according to this book, Gravity Falls has this secret dark side."

He held up the book to his sister, making her look at it. "Whoa! Shut. Up!" She exclaimed before pushing Dipper back.

"And get this!" Dipper continued. "After a certain point, the pages just… stop, like the guy who was writing it... mysteriously disappeared."

"All the more reasons to _put_ it _back_!" Patrick stated firmly when he walked into the room with a Dr. Pepper in hand.

"What?" Dipper looked at him in disbelief.

"Dipper, you saw the things in that book, and that _warning_." Patrick argued, pointing at him. "If the journal is legit, then that means someone dangerous really was after the author and their work. Who knows what the results of us finding it are!"

"But think of all the things we can find." Dipper said, closing the book. "I was right about this place being different and feeling strange, and now I have the proof to show Grunkle Stan I was right."

The teen pinched the bridge of his nose and let out an exasperated sigh. He was still bummed about that? "You barely have a third of that knowledge." Patrick took the book from him and pointed at the 3. "You still need the books 1 _and_ 2 before you can get the big picture." He tossed the journal to Dipper, which he barely was able to catch. "Besides, we're here on vacation and to have fun. Not to solve mysteries and get into trouble."

"But we're not having fun. What if solving mysteries with this is that fun we've been looking for?"

Patrick paused for a moment. "Okay, you got me there."

"Come on, Patrick. It'll be just like _The Goonies_ ," Mabel said with encouragement, knowing that he loved that movie. "What's the worst that can happen?"

"I've seen these kind of things in the movies, Mabel. It starts off with the kids finding some mysterious object that leads to either…" Patrick started counting with his fingers, as he listed off some of the negative possibilities. "Monsters attacking; Alien abduction; government conspiracies and involvement; paranormal activities; and worst of all, them suffering the same fate as the original owner!" He stopped his ranting when the doorbell rang. "Who's at the door?"

"Well, time to spill the beans," Mabel said, before knocking over an empty can of beans on the table. "Boop. Beans. This girl's got a date!" She exclaimed in joy, pointing her thumbs at her head, before throwing her fist in the air. "Woot woot!" She cheered before falling backwards into the chair, giggling.

Patrick stared at her with a deadpan expression. "… What?"

"Let me get this straight," Dipper said, pinching the bridge of his nose, before pointing at her. "In the _half hour_ we were gone, you already found a boyfriend?"

"What can I say? I guess I'm just _irresistible_." She said playfully, placing her hands and arms into her sleeves and waving them up and down, shaking her head side to side. The doorbell rings twice, bring her out of her silly moment. "Oh. Coming!" Mabel ran off to the get the door, leaving her male family members in the living room.

Dipper and Patrick looked at each other, not sure what to do, before the teen took a sip of his soda, prompting the boy to jump up on the recliner and read the journal. Then Stan walked into the same doorframe exited out of, take a sip of his own soda, before noticing Dipper on the couch. "What'cha reading there, slick?"

"Oh!" Dipper quickly threw the book under the seat cushion, before reaching down on the right side of the chair and grabbed a random magazine from a basket. "I was just catching up on, uh…" he looked at the magazine and read its title confusingly. " _Gold Chains for Old Men Magazine_?"

"That's a good issue." Stan commented before resting his arm on the back of the recliner.

"Hey, family!" Mabel's voice brought their attention to the doorframe, and saw Mabel standing next to a hooded figure. "Say hello to my new boyfriend!"

A second after she gestured at him with her arms, the 'boyfriend' turned around to face the rest of the Pines. Off the bat, Patrick knew that there was something not right about the guy. The dark hoodie he was wearing had rips and tears all over it, random branches and leaves attached sticking out of it. He looked very pale, with his left eye covered by his dark hair. "'Sup?" He said in a deep, raspy tone, holding up a hand.

"Hey…" Dipper greeted, also suspicious of the guy.

"How's it hanging?" Stan greeted him too, but more laid back than his nephews.

"Yeah…" Patrick said, narrowing his eyes as he analyzed the guy closely. "Howdy."

"We met in the cemetery," Mabel said, before feeling his right arm. "He's _really_ deep." She then feels his arm by giving it a squeeze. "Oh. Little muscle there. That's… what a surprise…"

"So, what's your name?" Dipper questioned him.

"Uh." The boyfriend became even more nervous. Looking from side to side while thinking of an answer. "Normal… MAN."

"He means Norman." Mabel corrected him.

"Are you bleeding, 'Norman'?" Patrick pointed to his face, which had a red liquid dripping down from it.

"It's jam," he quickly said.

Mabel gasped and push him in the chest. "I love jam!" She exclaimed before gesturing between the two of them. "Look. At. This!"

"So, you wanna go hold hands or... whatever?"

"Oh, oh, my goodness." Mabel giggled before turning towards the other. "Don't wait up!" She then ran out of the room excitedly. Norman pointed to Patrick, Dipper, and Stan, before suddenly hitting his head against the doorframe. He then left the scene, but the teen and boy could hear him hit and ramming into the walls and other things.

Patrick looked down and to his left and saw Dipper standing next to him, with Stan in the chair reading the magazine. Dipper looked up at him with a hopeful grin and reached into his vest, where he was hiding the journal, and pulled out an inch of out, indicating that they should investigate with the book's help.

 _I didn't like the idea of a person as curious as Dipper having that journal, filling his head with a bunch of crazy things and theories, but my gut was telling me that there was something not right about… 'Norman', or my name is Owloysius. And it's not!_

Patrick sighed and nodded.

 _I decided to let it the journal stay with us until we got to the bottom this. After that, it was out of here._

* * *

A few minutes later, the two male Pines were up in the attic, sitting next to a triangular window. Dipper had the journal in his hands, reading aloud as Patrick waited for him to tell him if he found anything that could be a clue. "'Known for their pale skin and bad attitudes these creatures are often mistaken for... teenagers?!'"

"Hey!" Patrick said, offended.

"Those are the words of the journal, man." Dipper said before looking back at the page. "'Beware Gravity Falls nefarious...'" He gasped in terror, causing Patrick to take the book and look at it. His eyes widened when he saw a zombie drawing on the page, the words _The Undead'_ hanging over it.

"ZOMBIE!" They both exclaimed in horror.

* * *

Stan was in a bathroom fixing his tie when he heard them. "Somebody say 'Crombie'," he asked, "What is that, Crombie? That's not even a word. You're losing your mind."

* * *

The two suddenly heard a grunting from outside, making them turn to look out the window. Norman was walking towards Mabel in a zombie like fashion, with his arms stretched out, and moving stiffly.

"I like you," Mabel said happily, oblivious to the danger she was in.

"Oh, no! Mabel!" Dipper yelled out to her.

"Oh my God!" Patrick quickly got up and frantically searched for a weapon or anything to help him get the zombie away from his cousin. "Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!"

"No, no, Mabel, watch out!" Hearing his cousin freak out even more wasn't really keeping Patrick claim and level headed. He couldn't find anything! "AHHHHH!"

"Goddammit!" Patrick finally had enough looking around and ran to the stairs.

"Wait!" Dipper suddenly exclaimed, making Patrick stop at the first step. "It's okay."

"What," Patrick asked, puzzled, before going over to the window and looked down at where Mabel and Norman were. To his surprise, he saw Mabel with a neckless of daisies on her.

"Norman was just giving her those flowers," Dipper said as he started to calm down. Patrick sighed in relief as he back away from the window, taking off his hat with his right hand, and raked his left hand fingers through his hair.

"Thank god," he said in relief. "But still, _is_ Mabel dating a zombie? I mean it's very unlikely and if he was then he should've eaten her by now, but is that probability still a possibility?" Patrick sighed and put back on his boonie hat. "Maybe we're going nuts."

"It's a dilemma, to be sure." Patrick yelped in surprise and fell forward on his stomach, before turning around on his back to look at the source of the voice, while Dipper gasped in surprise and turned to see who it was, only for them to find Soos standing on a step-stool, as he screwed in a new light. "I couldn't help but overhear you two talkin' aloud to yourselves in this empty room," he said, before going back to fixing the light. Patrick relaxed when he realized it was Soos and stood up and dusted himself off, while Dipper walked over to the man.

"Soos, you've seen Mabel's boyfriend. He's gotta be a zombie, right," he asked.

"Hmm." Soos thought about it once he fixed the light. "How many brains didja see the guy eat?" He looked down at them to ask.

Dipper looked down. "Zero," he admitted.

"Look, dude, I believe you." Soos said, surprising the teen and boy. "I'm always noticing weird stuff in this town. Like the mailman? Pretty~ sure that dude's a werewolf." He narrowed his eyes and nodded his head when he said that part.

— **(flashback)—**

 _One day, while Soos was eating a sandwich while sitting on a bench, a mailman with hair almost everywhere on his body walked by. Soos watched the man go by with caution, and scooted away from him._

— **(flashback ends)—**

"But ya gotta have evidence," he told them, which Patrick agreed with a nod. "Otherwise, people are gonna think you're a major league cuckoo clock."

"And so far, we have nothing on the guy," he said, walking away from them for a moment, patting his hands on the sides of his legs. "For all we know, he could be a normal kid that looks like a zombie."

"But you can't rule him out as not being one, though," Soos said. "He might be playing out as a normal guy, before springing the trap."

"As always, Soos, you're right." Dipper sighed.

"My wisdom is both a blessing and a curse," he told them, making Patrick raise an eyebrow.

He was about to question him on why it was a curse, when Stan's voice called out. "Soos! The portable toilets are clogged again!"

Soos readjusted the hat on his head with a serious facial expression. "I am needed elsewhere." He then walked backwards out of the room, immersing himself into the shadows of the hallway. The two male Pines looked at one another and nodded with their own serious expressions, before Patrick took out his phone, opened the camera app on it, and had it set to video.

 _My cousin could be trouble, and it was up to the two of us to find out whether or not her boyfriend was a part of the walking dead, who happens to be intelligent enough to act like a normal… ish person. But like Soos said, we need the evidence._

* * *

The first time they spied on them was when Mabel and 'Norman' were playing at the park. Patrick and Dipper were watching them from the bushes, with Patrick recording them on his phone. Mabel threw a Frisbee at her 'boyfriend', hitting him in the head, and causing Norman to fall on his face abruptly. Patrick and Dipper glanced at one another, before the teen took out a small notebook and wrote down _'Can't take a hit to the head.'_

Later they waited in a diner that Mabel and 'Norman' were planning to go to. Stationed at a booth, with menus hiding their heads, the two heard the grunting sounds of their suspect, and looked in the direction of it. The silhouette of 'Norman' was seen through the window, before the guy punched through it, grabbed the knob on the inside, and opened the door, letting inside the diner. As the couple pasted the Pines boys, with 'Norman' stumbling and crashing into things as he followed Mabel, Patrick wrote _'breaks through windows to get in and can't walk straight.'_

And final, Mabel and 'Norman' were frolicking in a field, before accidently running into the cemetery, where the boy fell into one of the open graves that was filled with loss dirt, causing him to sink into it. Mabel stopped and looked down at the grave, before Norman's hand shot out of the dirt, and then he crawled out of the grave while screaming in a very zombie like fashion. The two paused for a moment, before laughing together. Patrick and Dipper, who were behind one of the grave stones, frowned at the two.

 _That was all the evidence we needed._

* * *

Back and the Mystery Shack, Mabel was upstairs in their room, brushing her hair when Patrick and Dipper entered. "Mabel," Dipper said, causing his sister to turn towards the two. "We've gotta talk about Norman."

"Isn't he the best," she asked them with a smile. "Check out this giant smooch mark he gave me!" She turned her head to the left to show them a big red mark on her cheek.

Patrick and Dipper let out a scream of horror and shock.

Mabel laughed at them, confusing the boys. "Gullible. It was just an accident with the leaf blower!"

— **(flashback)—**

 _When she was outside, Mabel place the leaf blower on top of a trash can, pointed it at her, and turned it on reverse. She then got out a picture of 'Norman' with his mouth cut out, and lets the air being sucked into the blower stick the picture onto the tube. "Kissing practice!" She exclaimed before leaning into the photo with her lips puckered up. However, it was sucked into to leaf blower, before her face was suddenly stuck onto the tube when it sucked her in too. Knocking over the trash can, she runs around in panic. "Turn it off!" She cried out for help, while also bashing it against the ground. "Turn it off!"_

— **(flashback ends)—**

"That was fun." Mabel with a smile.

"No, Mabel, listen!" Dipper said, getting back on track. "I'm trying to tell you that Norman is not what he seems!" He pulled out the journal from his vest to show her.

Mabel placed her hands on her mouth when she gasped in response. "You think he might be a vampire?" She asked him in a whisper, before smiling and exclaiming with excitement. "That would be so awesome!"

"No Mabel, it wouldn't be awesome." Patrick told her. "You'd be dead if he was. And besides, you've got the wrong monster." Dipper picked up where he left off and opened the book.

"SHA-BAM!" He exclaimed and showed her the page he opened to. Which unfortunately was the page that talked about gnomes.

"Agh!" Mabel recoiled with a scream.

"Oh, wait." Realizing his mistake, Dipper flipped the pages. "I'm-I'm sorry..." He stopped when he got to the zombie page. "Sha-bam."

"A zombie?" She doubtfully asked, before looking at them with an upset expression. "That's not funny, you two."

"This isn't a joke, Mabel." Patrick told her, making her turn to him. "Everything we saw adds up: the bleeding, the limp, not being able to take a hit to the head, breaking windows with his bare hands to enter a building, not being able to walk properly at all, crawling out of the dirt like a zombie. He never blinks! Did you even notice that?"

"Maybe he's blinking when you're blinking," she said.

Patrick stared at her with a deadpan expression. "Mabel, do you really think it's likely for _three_ people to blink at the exact same," he asked…

Before all three of them blinked.

"Mabel," Dipper spoke up a moment later, "remember what the book said about Gravity Falls?" He looked behind himself to make sure they were alone, before hissing to her. "Trust no one!"

"Well, what about me, huh?" Mabel asked with a smile. "You trust Patrick, so why can't you trust me? Beep bop!" Making some random noises, she put on some star earrings.

"Mabel," Dipper yelled before grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking, "he's gonna eat your brain!"

Having enough of them talking bad about her boyfriend, Mabel broke away from his grip and pushed his arms away. "Dipper, Patrick, listen to me," she said with a scowl, "Norman and I are going on a date at five o'clock," the teenager and young boy's eyes widened, "and I'm gonna be ADORABLE," she jabbed her fingers into Dipper's chest and Patrick's stomach, making the two of them stumble back.

"Wait Mabel," Patrick attempted to talk to her, but she interrupted him.

"And he's gonna be DREAMY," she said, poking them with enough force to push them out of the room, before grabbing the door.

"Bu-bu-but—" Dipper attempted to argue, but she didn't give him the chance.

"And I am not gonna let you two ruin it with one of your crazy CONSPIRACIES!" She yelled while slamming the door in their faces.

Dipper turned around, sighed, and sat against the door. "What are we going to do?" He asked his cousin, who turned his attention from the door down at him.

Patrick sighed and closed his eyes, frustrated. He didn't like making his cousins mad. He loved them, like as if they were his own siblings. And now he's just upset Mabel, the nicest girl he knows, all because of some things he read in a book they found in the woods. "We do nothing," he told him and walked towards the stairs.

Dipper looked shocked at him, before following him. "But, Norman—"

"May just be a normal kid!" Patrick exclaimed, stopping abruptly and turning towards his cousin. "Has that ever entered your head? We were wrong, Dipper." Seeing Dipper's face growing sadder, Patrick sighed, knowing it was wrong to yell at his younger cousin. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap. I just mad at myself for making Mabel upset by accusing Norman, because I choose to believe impossible things that came out of the book."

"And I don't blame you," Dipper admitted with his head hanging in shame. "I was so sent on proving that I wasn't paranoid and that there are strange things in this town that I was willing to believe everything that the journal had in it, that I forgot that I was only doing it to protect Mabel." He then felt Patrick pat him on the head, making him look up at him.

"At least you were trying to be a good brother and looking out for her," he said with a smile, which Dipper returned the gesture with a nodded. The two then walked down the stairs, hoping that everything would go well.

* * *

Patrick was reading a book as sit in the recliner with Dipper on the left arm rest when the time hit 5:00. A second after the start of the hour, the doorbell rang. "Coming!" Mabel exclaimed, running down the stairs as she slipped on a purple sweater. Reaching the door, she opened it to reveal Norman standing there. "Hey, Norman. How do I look?" She showed her the sweater, which had glitter, a cat's face, and the words 'MEOW WOW!' on it.

"Shiny..." he said.

"You always know what to say!" She commented with a smile, before the two grabbed hands and walked off into the forest. Patrick and Dipper watched them with sad frowns, as Mabel didn't even close the door behind her when she exited.

Patrick and pulled out his phone to go through the videos. "Soos was right," he said, watching a video of his cousin playing hopscotch with Norman, in which he fell face first on the ground. "We don't have any real evidence." He then went to the next video, which showed Norman with his arm over Mabel's shoulder. "I was just looking after you two," Suddenly, Norman's right hand fell off, in which he glanced around as he reattached it to his arm, "but I guess the this place was making me para—Wait, WHAT?!" He exclaimed with wide eyes filled with shock, making Dipper alarmed and to look at the phone as Patrick rewinds it.

As clear as day, 'Norman's' hand falls off, so he glanced around as he reached around Mabel and puts it back on.

The two boys were silent with horrified facial expression, as Patrick turned off his phone, and casually put it back in his pocket. "We were right!" He exclaimed, freaking out, grabbing the brim of his boonie hat with both hands and pulling it down.

"Norman is a zombie!" Dipper exclaim, before the two of them froze in realization.

"MABEL!"

Patrick jumped out of the chair and pointed to the open doorway. "Go get Stan!" He order before pointing at himself with his thumb. "I'll grab a weapon!" And with that, the two split up, with Dipper running out of the house and his cousin searching around the house.

"Grunkle Stan! Grunkle Stan!" Dipper called out to the old man, but unfortunately he was busy with a group of tourist in front of the entrance of the gift shop.

"And here we have Rock that looks like a face rock: the rock that looks like a face," he said in a dramatic way, gesturing to a rock that had a face carved into it.

"Does it look like a rock?" Asked some hillbilly.

"No, it looks like a face."

"Is it a face," asked the fat tours from earlier.

"It's a rock that looks like a face!"

Dipper attempted to get through the crowd, was the tourists were so cluttered together that it was impossible. So he jumped and waved his hands, trying to get his Grunkle's attention. "Over here! Grunkle Stan!"

"For the fifth time!" Stan exclaimed, getting tired of having to explain the rock to the tourist. "It's-it's not an actual face!" Making Dipper growl in frustration.

* * *

Patrick rushed into their room and looked around frantically for a weapon of any kind. Spotting his backpack near his bed, he quickly went over to it, opened and searched in it. To his frustration, he cursed himself for not at least bringing a shove. He threw it down and was about to go out of the room when he something that caught his attention.

Leaning against the broken Whack-a-Mole was a red crowbar. Smiling at the sight of it, Patrick quickly grabbed the tool and ran out the room.

* * *

Deep in the woods, Mabel stopped to obverse the scenery. "Finally, we're alone," she said with her fist on his hips. 'Norman' walked up from behind and looked down at her with a dark shadow cast over his face and shoulders.

"Yes. Alone…" He raised an arm as he was about to grab her.

* * *

Patrick quickly exited out of the house with the crowbar in hand. Looking around, he spotted Dipper still trying to get Stan's attention and went to him.

"Stan! Stan!" Dipper called out to him with arms waving frantically, before Patrick approached him and placed a hand on his shoulder, making him jolt for a second before he saw it was his cousin.

"Forget about him," he told him. "We need to get to her fast!" They then heard the Mystery Shack's golf cart pulled coming to a stop a few meters away. Looking in the direction of the sound, the two saw it was Wendy pulling to a stop. "Wendy!" Patrick exclaimed before the two ran to her, getting the ginger girl's attention as they got closer. "Wendy, Mabel's boyfriend turned out to be a zombie! We need the golf cart to go save her!"

Wendy looked at him for a moment, making Patrick question if she even believed him, before smile and throwing him the key, which he caught with one hand. "Sure, man. It cool to see you care about your cousin, Patrick," she said as she walked away, winking and shooting him a friendly finger.

Patrick smiled for a moment, before turning his head to Dipper. "Get in." The two got into the cart, with the teenager taking the wheel after placing the crowbar behind him. "Seatbelts." He reminded his cousin, and the two of them buckled up.

Patrick started the ignition, put the cart in reverse, and quickly backed up. Swiftly turning the cart to face the forest, he puts the cart in drive, and slammed his foot on the accelerator, causing the vehicle to rocket into the forest.

* * *

Back in the woods, the sun was starting to set as Mabel was facing 'Norman'. Then the zombie turned around to have his back facing her. "Uh, Mabel, now that we've gotten to know each other, there's..." He exhaled a breath as he gripped the zipper of his hoodie and put on a serious face. "...there's something I should tell you," he told her seriously, as an ominous gust of wind blew by them.

"Oh, Norman, you can tell me anything," Mabel told him, before smiling and thinking in her head: _'Please be a vampire, please be a vampire!'_

"All right, just..." He turned back towards her and waved his hands in front of himself. "Just don't freak out, okay?" 'Norman' grabbed his zipper again and pointed up a finger. "Just... just keep an open mind, be cool!" He then unzipped the hoodie and grabbed each open half. Mabel's eyes widened in anticipation. But when 'Norman' threw off the hoodie, the Pines girl was shocked to not see the 'rocking hot bod' of a vampire she was hopping for, or the rotting corpse of a zombie.

Oh no.

In front of her were five gnomes stacked on top of each other!

From top to bottom, there were two gnomes standing next to each other, with gnomes standing on top of their head, holding fake arms, and one gnome balancing himself on both their heads. "Is this weird?" The top one asked, dropping the deeper and moodier tone and brushing his hair back to look at her with both ears. "Is this too weird? Do you need to sit down?"

Mabel only stared at the gnomes in total shock. Eyes as wide as they could go, and jaw hanging open.

"R-r-right, I'll explain." The top gnome said. "So! We're gnomes. First off. Get that one outta the way."

"Uh…" Mabel raised an eyebrow, unable to form words to describe what she was seeing.

"I'm Jeff," the same gnome introduced himself, before gesturing to the others, "and here we have Carson, Steve, Jason, and..." He stopped at the bottom left gnome, who had strabismus eyes and a grey hair, compared to Jeff's brown and the other's white hairs. "I'm sorry, I always forget your name."

"Schmebulock," Schmebulock said with a deeper voice.

Jeff snapped his fingers and pointed at him with a smile. "Schmebulock! Yes!" Mabel, who was processing what was happening, sat down on a rock and soon slapped her forehead in disbelief. "Anyways, long story short, us gnomes have been lookin' for a new queen! Right, guys?"

"Queen! Queen! Queen!" The other gnomes chanted eagerly.

Jeff chuckled in nervousness before looking up to face Mabel. "So what do you say," he asked before tapping his foot on Steve's head. The gnomes, working together as one unit like they have been doing while being Norman, kneeled down in a proposing fashion, with one of the arm gnomes using the fake arm to hold up a box that had a diamond engagement ring. "Will you join us in holy matrignomey? Matri...matri-mo-ny! Blah! Can't talk today!"

Not wanting to break their hearts to badly, as they were being nice to her, but not wanting to marry them, Mabel inhaled through her teeth. "Look..." She started with a hand on her head. "I'm sorry, guys. You're really sweet, but, I'm a girl, and you're gnomes, and it's like, 'what'? Yikes..." She ended it there, hoping they got the idea with going any further, as they did look sad as they glanced at each other.

"We understand," Jeff said with closed, sober eyes, before opening them to look at her. "We'll never forget you, Mabel."

Even though they looked sad, Mabel smiled at them, glad that they understood. Now all she had to do was apologies to Patrick and Dipper.

"Because we're gonna kidnap you."

"Huh?" Mabel responded, before Jeff yelled and jumped to attack her. All she could do was scream.

* * *

"AAAAAHHHH!" Patrick and Dipper heard the scream and instantly recognized it as Mabel's voice. And by the sound of it, she was in trouble.

"Mabel, we're coming!" Patrick exclaimed before taking a couple of sharp turns, speeding up the cat whenever he had a straight path and slowing down slightly when he turned.

"Help!" His cousin cried out again, this time sounding closer. They were getting closer to her. Patrick made a left turn, before he and Dipper were suddenly sent speeding down a steep hill and into a large cave that was filled with mushrooms and moss.

He saw something up ahead and narrowed his eyes to look closer, before seeing that it was Mabel fighting off a group of gnomes.

"The more you struggle," Jeff said, standing on a rock away from the action, as the cart slowly approached them, with Patrick and Dipper staring at what was going on with shock, "the more awkward this is gonna be for everybody! Just, ha ha, okay." He placed a hand on his face in annoyance, while the two Pines boys stepped out of the cart, still not sure what to make of it all. "Get her arm there, Steve!"

Steve jumped and bites on to her sweater's sleeve, making her try and get him on by wiggling her arm. "Let go of me!" Mabel punched the gnome off her, before kicking away the other ones.

Steve bounced off the ground before landing on his stomach. He then got up, but held his stomach and leaned on one arm against the wall of the cave, before suddenly puking a rainbow.

"What the _hell_ is going on here," Patrick asked out loud in total confusion, crowbar in hand. A gnome ran in across in front of them, before turning towards them and hisses. Dipper recoiled, but Patrick wasn't letting it slide, and bashed the gnome away with the red crowbar.

"Dipper! Patrick!" Mabel called out to them, as the gnomes surrounded her. "Norman turned out to be a bunch of gnomes! And they're total jerks!" She punched one, before a gnome grabbed her hair and started to pull her down. "Hair! Hair! Hair!"

"Gnomes?" Patrick asked, with a raised eyebrow. "Norman was a bunch of _Gnomes_!"

"Man, we were way off," Dipper said as he pulled out the journal and turned it to the page that had the description of them, with Patrick looking down to read with him. "'Gnomes: little men of the Gravity Falls Forest. Weaknesses: unknown.'" The two looked up from the book to see Mabel tied to the ground like in _Gulliver's Travels_.

"Aw, come on!" She complained.

"Alright, that's enough!" Patrick exclaimed, catching Jeff's attention as he approached him. "Release my cousin! NOW!"

Jeff turned around to see the teen towering over him and became nervous when he saw the crowbar. "Oh! Ha ha, hey, there! Um, you know, this is all really just a big misunderstanding. You see, your cousin's not in danger. She's just marrying all one thousand of us and becoming our gnome queen for all eternity!" He told Patrick before turning to Mabel. "Isn't that right, honey?"

"You guys are butt-faces!" She exclaimed before a gnome covered her mouth. "Mmmm-MMMMM!"

"Last warning, punk." Patrick held up the crowbar with his right hand and pats it on his left in a threatening manner. "Give her back right now, or else turn _really_ ugly _really_ fast!"

"You think you can stop us, human?" Jeff questioned him seriously. "You have no idea what we're capable of. The gnomes are a powerful race!" Patrick just like at him with a raised eyebrow and the tool resting on his shoulder. "Do not trifle with the—AH!" Patrick casually whacked him across the head with the crowbar.

The black-haired teen then began to hit away the four gnomes surrounding his cousin, before using the curved end to rip out the ropes binding her from the ground. Bending down, he grabbed her hand and dragged her away to the cart, as Dipper hopped in.

"He's getting away with our queen!" Jeff exclaimed, as Mabel and Patrick got into the cart, before running towards them. "No, no, no!"

"Seatbelt," Patrick reminded his cousin, which they quickly did, before putting the cart in reverse and pressed down on the gas petal. The cart backed up, as the Gnomes chased them, before the teen turned the cart around, and speeded out of the cave. Jeff climbed onto a rock and glared at the direction the Pines fled.

"You've messed with the wrong creatures, boy! Gnomes of the forest: ASSEMBLE!" He yelled, his voice echoing throughout the cave. Upon hearing the command, various gnomes popped out of smaller holes and behind rocks and mushrooms, gathering together around Jeff. Joining hands and locking arms with one another, the small humanoids began stacking up on each other, with Jeff on top, becoming larger, and larger, and larger.

* * *

Patrick drove the cart out the cave, before going a more steady speed than what he was going when he was driving to the cave. Mabel looked over the seat worriedly. "Hurry, before they come after us!" She said.

"Are you kidding me," Patrick asked with a confident chuckle, making her turn to him. "Their tiny little legs? Against a golf cart? Heh, I think we'll be okay."

Suddenly the ground trembled under the wheels of the vehicle, as a stomping sound was heard. Startled, Patrick stopped the cart and the trio looked behind. Out of the horizon came a giant red gnome monster that was compiled out of a hundred gnomes, with Jeff at the top, using the one under him hats as levers to control it. "Dang," Mabel said, with all three of them looked up at it with wide eyes.

"All right, teamwork, guys. Like we practiced," Jeff said, pointing at the cart. In response, the monster gnome roared, and raised a fist to smash the vehicle.

"Move, MOVE!" Mabel exclaimed as Patrick slammed his foot on the gas pedal, sending the golf cart speeding away, just a second before the fist could destroy it. The gnomes that made up the fist broke apart when it connected with the ground. They ran frantically back into position, before the monster started chasing after the trio.

"Come back with our queen!"

Mabel looked behind. "It's getting closer!"

"Most go faster! Most go faster!" The Dipper said repeatedly.

"I'm trying, but this is the fastest it's going to go!" Patrick exclaimed as he glared determinedly at the road in front of him.

Jeff pushed the left lever-hat forward, making monster throw several gnomes at the cart. Some just bounce off the fabric roof, with only one being able to hang on, before he started chewing and ripping a piece of it off. It then hung from the edge of the roof on Mabel's side.

"Ha ha!" It laughed, scaring Mabel for a moment, before she elbow punched it off. Shmebulock jumped up behind Patrick, who grabbed him and slammed him into the steering wheel repeatedly out of annoyance, making the horn go off with each hit.

"Shmebulock," he said his name in pain, before Patrick threw him against the steering wheel again, making Shmebulock fall off the cart.

Suddenly a gnome jumped on the front of the cart, and screamed like a banshee as it jumped onto Dipper, before starting the claw at his face. "I'll save you, Dipper!" Mabel said, before starting to punch the gnome repeatedly, unintendedly punching Dipper as well. Patrick then grabbed the gnome, and ripped it off his face and throw him out of the cart, taking Dipper's hat with it.

"Thanks, guys…" Dipper said, in a daze from the punches with two black eyes and a bruised cheek.

"Don't mention it." They said simultaneously, before they heard something that sounded like something was being ripped. Patrick then saw a shadow appearing on the below them. The three looked up to see a large tree sailing over the cart.

"Look out!" Mabel pointed out in front of them, as the tree landed right in front of them. Patrick saw this speeded towards it, as Mabel and Dipper screamed in terror, before making a sudden left turn off the road, into the forest and around the tree, and back on the road. But he suddenly lost control and the cart balanced on left wheels, then overturned on its side, landing next to the Mystery Shack.

The three groaned in pain before unbuckling themselves. "That's why we have seatbelts," Patrick commented as he grabbed the crowbar and crawled out the back of the gold cart with the twins. "You two okay?"

They didn't get to answer when the monster gnome approached them.

"Stay back, man!" Patrick and stood in front of his cousins with the crowbar ready to do battle. Suddenly the giant gnome grabbed him with one hand, binding his arms to his side, before raising him up off the ground, and started to squeeze. "AAAHHH!"

"PATRICK! NO!" Mabel yelled and attempted to rush forward, but Dipper held her back by her shoulders.

"Uh, where's Grunkle Stan?!" He asked, fearing for his cousin's life as well.

* * *

As that was going on, Stan was with some tourists, and pulled the covers off a swirly pattern on a stick. "Behold! The world's most distracting object." He announced, as he pulled the string that started the disk to spin.

"Oooh..." The tourist said in amazement, staring into the swirly pattern.

"Just try to look away, you can't!" Stan said, but before long he and the people really weren't able to look away. "I can't even remember what I was talking about."

* * *

The gnome monster stepped towards the twins, making them back up to the side of the house. Patrick tried desperately to break free, but it was no use. "It's the end of the line, kids!" Jeff proclaimed. "Mabel, marry us before we do something crazy!" He had the monster apply more pressure on its hold on Patrick.

"AAHH!" Patrick yelled in pain.

"There's gotta be a way out of this!" Dipper said before pulling out the journal, frantically searching for any information that could give them a chance. However, Mabel suddenly frowned and stepped forward.

"I gotta do it." She stated, shocking both Dipper and Patrick.

"What?!" Dipper ran up to her. "Are you crazy?"

"Don't do it!" Patrick exclaimed in a strained voice, still have himself crushed by the grip of the hand.

"Trust me," She told them.

"What," Dipper asked in surprise.

"Dipper, just this once." Mabel whispered to her twin. "Trust me!"

Dipper anxiously glanced between the gnomes, Patrick, and then Mabel. He sighed and nodded at Patrick before backing away, who then stared at his girl cousin. She looked at him, before tapping her foot on something beside her. His eyes widened by she meant and nodded in return.

Mabel then to Jeff and took a few steps forward. "Put my cousin down, Jeff. Then I'll marry you."

"Hot dog!" Jeff exclaimed before have the monster put Patrick down, who rubbed his shoulders in pain as he walked behind Mabel. "Help me down there, Jason!" The gnome leader started climbing to her, stepping on the faces of other gnomes. "Thanks, Andy! All right, left foot, there we go, watch those fingers, Mike." He disappeared into the body of the monster, before coming out of one of the legs. He approached Mabel, who got on one knee, and held out a diamond ring. "Eh? Eh?" He wiggled his eyebrows, pointing at it.

Mabel looked away with closed eyes and a smile, and held out her hand. Jeff then slipped the ring onto her finger.

"Bada-bing, bada-bam!" Jeff did a short dance, as Mabel looked at the ring. "Now let's get you back into the forest, honey!"

"You may now kiss the bride!" Mabel suddenly said, surprising Jeff for a second before he smirked.

"Well, don't mind if I do," he said before turning around and leaned up to kiss Mabel. She did the same thing, but just before they could meet, Mabel back away.

When Jeff didn't feel a kiss, he only cracked his eyes to see if she was still there. However, his eyes widened when he saw the tube of the leaf blower directly in his face, being held by the teen.

"Pucker up, little man," Patrick said with a grin, before turning on the machine in reverse.

"Ah! Hey, hey, wait a minute!" Jeff exclaimed, backing away as he felt himself being sucked into the leaf blower. This shocked Dipper and the other gnomes, as Mabel stood on Patrick's left, glaring at the leader. "Whoa, whoa! Wh-what's goin' on?!" He turned to run away, but could escape the powerful winds. Jeff then jumped to the ground and tried to hang on to the grass, but ultimately was sucked half-way into leaf-blower.

"You have a lot of nerves lying to my cousin!" Patrick told Jeff with a glare, as he looked at him in fear. He then increased the power of the blower. "And breaking her heart!"

Jeff was getting further sucked into the tube, with half of his face inside. "Ow! My face!"

"But let me tell you one thing!" Patrick grinned at both twins, who gathered around him with smiles too. "Nobody messes with the Pines family!" He then kneeled down and aimed the blower at the monster, shocking it. "You two want to do the honors," he asked them with a smirk, in which they nodded. "Then on three!"

"One, two, three!" The three chanted before Dipper and Mabel pushed the lever to forward, blasting Jeff towards the monster and knocking them back into a pile of leaves. The leader went right through the chest of the monster, causing all of the gnomes to fall apart everywhere.

Jeff screams as he flew off into the distance, as the Pines kids smiled at each other. "I'll get you back for this!..." They heard Jeff say before falling deep into the forest, as the sun started to set over the horizon.

The other gnomes fell to the ground and started to panic amongst themselves. "Who's giving orders? I need orders!" Exclaimed one on top of a pile of gnomes.

"My arms are tired." Complained one, before he was struck in the head with the crowbar. "GAH!"

"Who's next, huh?!" Patrick held out his arms, the twins behind him with arms crossed and grins, before pointing the crowbar at them. "Now get lost!" The gnomes were quick to scatter. Running away on all fours like wild animals.

However, one wasn't so lucky, and gets caught in a six-pack holder. As he struggled to get out, Gromper picked up the holder and bleats, before running off. The gnome screamed.

Patrick and Dipper didn't care, and were walking back to the house with tried smiles. Glad that it was all over. "Hey, guys?" Mabel came up to them from behind, making the two turned to face her. "I, um...I'm sorry for ignoring your advice," she said with guilt. "You two really were just looking out for me."

"Oh, don't be like that." Dipper waved it off with an impressed smile. "Your plan saved our butts."

"I guess I'm just sad that my first boyfriend turned out to be a bunch of gnomes," she said gloomily, taking a leaf out of her hair.

"Don't worry, Mabel," Patrick said with a smile, resting the crowbar on his shoulder. "I'm sure you'll find the right guy sooner or later."

"Maybe the next one will be a vampire!" Dipper then said.

"Let's not get carried away here."

Mabel laughed at them. But then Dipper's expression turned to a somber look, before he took out the band turned to Patrick. "So, I guess I should put this back, right," he asked, know that after today that his cousin wasn't going to let him have it.

Patrick was at a crossroad here and he looked down and to the right to think. After a moment of critically thinking about it, he came to a conclusion and sighed. "No, you don't have to get rid of it."

"What?" Dipper looked confused at him. "But, you said that…"

"I know what I said, but that was because I was only thinking about your safeties. And while we were just chased by a giant gnome monster and could have died, or in Mabel case got hitched," Patrick's serious expression turned into a smile, "this was the most fun I had in a long time."

Dipper gasped, before grinning with hope. "So I can keep it?" Patrick ruffled his brown hair.

"Yes, you can."

This caused the male twin to pump his fist in victory. "YES!"

"But under three conditions!" Patrick suddenly said, making Dipper stop his moment of triumph. "One: you don't lose it."

Dipper nodded.

"Two: we tell no one about it, not even Stan, unless they are people we absolutely trust."

Both twins nodded.

"Three…." He pointed to himself with a grin. "I get to come along for the ride." That earned him big grins from the two, before he got down on one knee, set the crowbar on the ground, and opened his arms to them, smiling awkwardly. "Awkwardly sibling/cousin hug?" He asked, knowing they had an 'awkward sibling' thing.

Dipper and Mabel glanced at each other with smiles, before opening their arms to him and said together, "Awkward family hug."

Patrick smiled, liking the new name, and brought them into his arms, as they hugged him back. Then the trio patted each other on the back. "Pat, pat."

The teen quickly picked up the crowbar, knowing the he was likely going to need it in the future, as Dipper puts the journal back into his vest, before going to the door to the gift shop.

When the three entered, they were completely exhausted. They then spotted Stan at the chase register, counting the money made today. "Yeesh. You three get hit by a bus or something? Ahah!" He slammed his hand on the table as he laughed, but then noticed his nephews and niece walking away, not even paying attention. Stan looked at his money before waving at them. "Uh, hey!"

Patrick, Dipper, and Mabel turned to face him.

"Um," Stan rubbed the back of his neck before taking the hand away to tap the money in his hands. "I accidentally overstocked some inventory, so, uh... how's about each of you take one item from the gift shop? On the house, y'know?"

"Really?" Patrick and Mabel asked, but while she was excited, he was skeptical.

"What's the catch?" Dipper folded his arms.

"The catch is do it before I change my mind," Stan told them, gathering the last of the money, "now take something."

And so the Pines kids walked around the shop for anything they liked. Mabel was everywhere and looking at everything, Dipper was near the hats. Sense he lost his other hat during the chase, he tried on one that was blue and white and with a blue brim and a blue pine tree on the front. Realizing it was a perfect fit, he looked into a small mirror hanging on the look and smiled. "Hmm. That oughta do the trick!"

Patrick was in the clothing section of the store, looking for anything to keep him warm, as it was cooler here than he thought. Looking to his right, the teen spotted a black hoodie with a white question mark on the back. Smiling, he walked over to it, took it off the rack, and up it on, but didn't zip it up. Patrick looked at a mirror near to him and saw that the red T-shirt went with the hoodie very well, and with his woodland camo boonie hat. "Prefect," he said with a smirk.

"And I will have a..." Mabel said, looking into a box of things, before grabbing an item from it, hide it, twirled around, and held up a… "GRAPPLING HOOK! Yes!"

The male Pines members looked at her with surprise and wide eyes. "You just have that thing lying around," Patrick asked Stan.

"What? It was cheap." He then turned to Dipper. "But wouldn't she rather have, like, a doll, or something?"

Mabel answered him by firing the grappling hook up at the ceiling, catching one of the rafters, before pulling herself up, knocking over a stack of boxes. "GRAPPLING HOOK!"

"Fair enough!"

* * *

Soon after washing up and getting ready for bed, Patrick and the twins were in their bedroom.

Patrick, who was now wearing his hat, a tank top and grey boxers, hid the crowbar under his bed before climbing under the covers. With arms under the back of his head, he looked up at the ceiling with a smile.

 _And that's how it all began._

He then turned his head to look at his cousin, and saw Dipper in his bed, writing something in the journal.

 _While I was still wary about that book, and while it said not to trust anyone, I can't say it didn't teach me that in Gravity Falls there was no one I could trust more than my family. And battling a hundred gnomes side-by-side with my cousins made I know that we got each other's backs._

He then looked at Mabel, wearing her sleeping clothes, as she shot grappling hook, then reeled it back with a stuffed animal attached. She looked at her male family members with an open mouth smile.

"Hey, Mabel," Dipper said, "could you get the light?"

Mabel aimed the gun at the gas lantern, making Patrick's eyes widened in fear. "I'm on it!"

"No don't—"

She fired and knocked the light out the window. "It worked!" She exclaimed before she and Dipper started laughing. "Grappling hook..." Patrick chuckled and shook his head, knowing she was just being Mabel. So he laid back down on the back and covered his eyes with his boonie hat.

 _Stan told us there was nothing strange about this town. But who knows what other secrets are out there, just waiting to be unlocked…_

Unbeknownst to anyone, was that Stan was walking into the Mystery Shack with a lantern. Going into the gift shop, he went to the vending machine and pushed a few buttons, making them light up. Afterwards, the vendor suddenly opened to reveal a secret passageway. Stan walked into, only to look around from side-to-side, making sure no one saw him, before closing the vending machine behind him.

The lights in the vendor go out.

* * *

 **And that's the first chapter to "** **Weirder Things"**

 **The idea of it is a simple one, Dipper and Mabel have a cousin, who sent with them to keep them safe. And that's how I made Patrick to be, a teen that is worried about what his cousins are getting into, but is willing to go along to protect them and for adventure.**

 **I don't plan to change anything in the canon story, but I'll add in some fun original chapters.**

 **And so that's it for today. I hope that you all like the start of this fanfic, and if you do, then please Review, Favorite, and Follow for updates in the future. Have a good day.**


	2. The Legend of the Gobblewonker

It was the start of a bright morning in Gravity Falls, and inside of the large house called the Mystery Shack, Patrick was lying on his back on the floor of the kitchen, as Mabel and Dipper were on their knees next to him. Each holding a bottle of syrup.

"Are you ready for the ultimate challenge," Mabel asked her twin brother, while holding up a bottle that had a head that looked like William Shakespeare and that the title _Sir Syrup_ on it.

"I'm always ready!" Dipper exclaimed, holding up a bottle that had a Canadian Mountie head, with the title _Mountie Man_ on it.

"And I'm still wondering why you two are using me for this game," said Patrick for his spot on the floor, facing up towards the ceiling.

"Because we wanted to include you," Mabel said. "And this could only mean one thing."

"Syrup race!" She and Dipper both exclaimed, and which Patrick to open his mouth wide. The twins opened their bottle and tilted them back to drip a drop of syrup down to their cousin's mouth.

"Go, _Sir Syrup_!" Mabel exclaimed.

"Go, _Mountie Man_!" Dipper exclaimed.

"Go! Go!" The two chanted, as the syrup drops from each bottle slowly came down towards Patrick's mouth.

"Almost... almost..." Mabel tapped the bottomed of the bottle, causing the syrup to drip into Patrick. "Yes!" she cheered as Patrick at up and started coughing a bit. "I won!"

"Yeah," Patrick said with a strained voice, before coughing one more time. He then took a moment to taste the syrup. He nodded his head with an approving expression. "That's not bad."

As Patrick was getting off the floor, Mabel and Dipper got up as well and sat at the table. The male twin then grabbed a newspaper and started reading. Only to find something that caught his interest and excitement. "Ho ho, no way! Hey you guys, check this out," he said, showing the two what he was looking at.

However, Mabel was looking at something else on the other page. "Human-sized hamster balls?" she asked, looking at said ad. She then gasped with exciting realization. "I'm human-sized!"

Patrick chuckled at her. "Yes," he said, rubbing her head, making her giggle, "yes you are."

"No, no, Mabel. This." Dipper pointed at the thing he was really trying to get them to look at. It was an ad for photo contest involving monster pictures. And the prize money was 1000 dollars. "We see weirder stuff than that every day! We didn't get any photos of those gnomes, did we?"

"Nope, just memories," Mabel said, before holding up a small amount of gray hair. "And this beard hair."

"What the hell?" said Patrick in disgust. "Why did you save that?" She responded with a shrug and an 'I dunno' sound. "Well, it's not like we should actually go looking for any monsters."

"That's because we should let the monsters come to us," Mabel said in a matter-of-fact way. "For if you going looking for a monster, you're not going to find it."

Patrick nodded with a smirk as he sat down at the table. "Right you are."

Just then, Stan walked into the kitchen area with a newspaper in his right hand. "Good morning, knuckleheads," he said to them with a grin. He pointed a finger at them. "You two know what day it is?"

Dipper thought for a moment. "Um... Happy anniversary?"

"Happy… You-Not-Dead Day?" Patrick asked, trying to mess with him too.

" _Mazel tov_!" Mabel cheered. Stan hit Patrick and Dipper upside the head with the newspaper.

"It's Family Fun Day, geniuses!" Stan said before throwing the newspaper on the table and turned towards the fridge. "We're cuttin' off work and having one of those…" He opened the fridge and grabbed the milk. "…you know…" He sniffed the milk with his big nose. "…bonding-type deals."

"Yeah, bonding-type deals," Patrick said rhetorically as he straightened his boonie hat. "Just like the last time we had a 'Family Fun Day'."

— **(flashback)—**

 _The last Family Fun Day that he was referring to was when he had all three of them make counterfeit money while in a dark cellar. The twins painted the dollars, Patrick dried them off with a blow-dryer, and Stan examined the money._

" _You call that Ben Franklin? He looks like a woman!" He told them, right before police sirens were heard from outside the building. "Uh-oh."_

— **(end flashback)—**

Mabel shuddered at the memory. "The county jail was so cold," she whispered.

"All right, maybe I haven't been the best summer caretaker," said Stan as he walked have himself behind Patrick and Dipper, with Mabel in front of his chest. The old man placed his hands on the two boys' shoulders. "But I swear, today we're gonna have some real family fun. Now who wants to put on some blindfolds and get into my car?"

The two kids and one teen cheered: "YAY!"

However, Patrick stopped in the middle of his cheer and said, "Wait, what?"

* * *

 **{Play** _ **Stranger Things**_ **theme by Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein}**

 _At the beginning of the intro, there is nothing but blackness._

 _Then about three seconds later, a bunch photographs started falling from above in slow motion._

 _Getting a closer look at one of the photographs, while others twirled and spun in the background in slow motion, shows the town of Gravity Falls from a distance._

 _Another picture shows the Mystery Shack during the night time, with bright lights shining thought the windows._

 _One photo shows a thundering sky that had a large, flying creature's shadow being seen through the dark clouds. The camera then focuses on a picture behind the previous one, showing large claw marks on a tree trunk, as more photos were seen falling._

 _Three photos are focused on now, one showing an angry Gnome, the second showing something that resembles the Long Ness Monster, and the third show a dinosaur tooth trapped in amber._

 _The camera shows the cluster of photographs continuing to fall, before angling downwards to show all of them lying on a flat surface, collecting in a pile._

 _The camera then gradually moves back to show more of the photos landing. After the last of the photos were on the surface, the camera moves upwards, displaying nothing but blackness again. Then the title of the story appeared in a flash of light._

 _ **WEIRDER THINGS**_

 _It then disappeared, before the chapter title appeared._

 **Chapter Two**

 **The Legend of the Gobblewonker**

* * *

A few minutes later and the Pines family was on the road inside of Stan's 1965 _El Diablo_ convertible—or as Mabel called it the Stanmobile. They were driving down the road in the forest that lead away from town. In the backseat were the kids, each had blindfolds over their eyes. Patrick was seated in-between the twins.

Stan leaned down to adjust the radio, causing the tires screech as the car swerved a bit. This made Patrick grab each of his cousins with a hand and hold them protectively. "Explain to me why we're having to wear these," he demanded.

"I know," said Dipper, hugging his legs close to his chest. "Blindfolds never lead to anything good."

"Wow!" Mabel whispered, being more positive than the others. "I feel like all my other senses are heightened." She then started touching Patrick's face. "I can see with my fingers!" Be ticklish, this caused Patrick to laugh. However, they stopped when the car jumped, causing them to jump off their seats before coming back down.

"Stan, please tell me you're not wearing a blindfold," said Patrick.

"Ha ha. Nah, but with these cataracts I might as well be," Stan responded, before squinting his eyes to look closely at something in front of him. "What is that, a woodpecker?"

He ended up driving straight through a wooden guardrail, making the twins and teen scream.

After that they were at their destination and out of the car. The twins and teen, still blindfolded, stood in front of the car, which now had branches, sticks, and leaves sticking out of the grill.

"Okay, okay. Open 'em up!" Stan told them. The three did, first had their eyes adjust to the sunlight before fully seeing where they were. "Ta-Da!" Stan extended his arms out, standing on a tackle box, wearing a fishing vest and hats, and holding a pair of fishing rods, revealing that they were in front of a large lake with a tall sign that said ' _Fishing Season OPENING DAY_ '. "It's fishin' season!"

"Fishing," Mabel asked.

"You," Patrick asked.

"What're you playin' at, old man," Dipper asked, pointing a finger at him.

"You're gonna love it!" Stan told them before turning around and gesturing towards the lake. "The whole town's out here!"

As they looked out onto the lake, they saw that almost everyone was out on the water. Lady Susan, a dimwitted and sluggish waitress from the _Greasy Diner_ who had a lazy eye, was waving a pan over the water. "Here, fishy fishies!" She called to the fish. "Get into the pan!"

And over at one of the wooden docks, Toby Determined, a small glass-wearing newspaper editor that solely owns the _Gravity Falls Gossiper_ , was taking a picture of a man who caught a large fish. "Say cheese," Toby said to the man, before taking the picture with the flash on. This caused the man to fall backwards into the lake.

And on another was Manly Dan, a big, extremely masculine lumberjack with red hair on almost every part of his body. In the boat with him were his three sons, Marcus, Kevin, and Guts. "Uh, is this good," asked the oldest son, holding up a fishing pole.

"NO!" Manly Dan exclaimed, grabbing the fishing pole and snapping it in half with his knee. "I'll show you how a real man fishes!" He then scanned the waters, waiting for something. He then quickly reached into the lake pulled out a fish. "Ha ha ha ha ha!" Manly Dan laughed heartily, before throwing the poor fish onto the boat, jumping on it elbow-first, and then beating it repeatedly.

"Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad!" The three brothers chanted.

Then a boat that had Tyler Cutebiker, the local enthusiasm, pull up and he said, "Get 'em! Get 'em!"

"That's some quality family bonding!" said Stan, but his grandchildren weren't convinced.

"Stan, what is this," asked Patrick. "Why do you wanna _bond_ with us all of a sudden?"

"Come on, this is gonna be great!" Stan walked up to them with encouragement. "I've never had fishing buddies before. The guys from the lodge won't go with me." He then started using air-quotes. "They don't 'like' or 'trust' me."

"I think he actually wants to fish with us," Mabel said quietly.

"Hey, I know what'll cheer you sad sacks up," said Stan, before slapping on fishing hats on Dipper and Mabel's heads. "POW!" He then threw to Patrick a fishing vest. "And Pow! Pines family fishing hats and vest!" The three grandchildren looked at their gifts with uncertainty, and saw that their names were stitched onto the hats and vest with big colorful letters. "That-that's hand stitching, you know."

The _L_ on Mabel's name peeled off.

"It's just gonna be you, me, those goofy hats and vest on a boat for ten hours!"

"Ten hours," Dipper asked.

"What are we going to do out there for ten hours," Patrick asked, "other than fish?"

"I brought the joke book!" Stan held up a book that had the title _1001 Yuk 'Em Ups_ , much to the three's horror.

"No! NO!" exclaimed Dipper in horror, as each of the three expressions filled with terror at the possible boredom that was in their future.

"There has to be a way out of this," Mabel whispered.

"How," asked Patrick. "It's not like the opportunity for adventure is gonna come."

"I SEEN IT!" Patrick and his cousins turned their heads in the direction of the voice and saw it was a short old man sporting a long white beard with a Band-Aid, a large, pink nose with a few warts on it, blue eyes, a few missing teeth and a golden one, and a cast on his right arm. He was wearing an old brown hat, brown overalls that were covered by his long beard, and white bandage on his feet. "I SEEN IT AGAIN!" He yelled hysterically, pushing to fishermen out of his way, as he ran from the docks, crashing into a fishing pole rack, flipping over a table, and even smashing a sandwich out of the hands of a fisherman.

He ran over to Patrick and grabbed him by the shoulders. "The Gravity Falls Gobblewonker!" He exclaimed into the feared-out teen's face, before pushing him aside. "Come quick before it scrabdoodles away!" The old man then started dancing frantically. "Eh, eh, ha ha hoo," he slapped his knee, "Ah, hee-hee..."

"Awww... He's doing a happy jig," Mabel said, while Dipper was just as weirded-out as Patrick.

"NOOO!" The old man yelled at her, making Patrick pull her away from him and stand in front of her protectively. "It's a jig of grave danger!"

Just then a man with a sprayer came out of the store. "Hey, hey!" He exclaimed at the old man. This seemed to make the elder back off and try to shield himself. "Now what did I tell you about scaring my customers?" The man then started spraying the old man. "This is your last warning, Dad!"

"But I got proof this time, by gummity!" The old man begged.

The three Pines kids looked at each other with curiosity.

The old man then led everyone over to the end of a dock and pointed at something. "BEHOLD!" he yelled, pointing to a destroyed boat a torn in half.

Next to the dock was a police patrol boat, and on it were the two sheriffs of Gravity Falls. The first one was Sheriff Blubs, an old black man that was lazy and bumble headed with a gray mustache. Next to him was his partner, Deputy Durland, a dimwitted, incompetent policeman that was tall and thin, with big ears and a big nose.

"It's the Gobble-dy-wonker what done did it," exclaimed the old man, continuing his panic. "It had a long neck like a gee-raffe! And wrinkly skin like..." he pointed at Stan, who was cleaning out his ear. "Like this gentleman right here!"

"Huh?" merely said Stan.

"It chawed my boat up to smitheroons, and shim-shammed over to Scuttlebutt Island!" The old man pointed towards the silhouette of an island in the distance, shrouded in a cover of fog. He then grabbed his son's arm and tried to pull him towards the island. "YOU GOTTA BELIEVE ME!"

Sheriff Blubs then said, "Attention all units! We got ourselves a crazy old man!" This caused himself, his partner, and everyone else around, excluding the Pines family and the son, to laugh and point at that the old man, who looked very sad by all the humiliation that he was getting. Even his son, though his eyes couldn't be seen, shook his head in shame.

"Aww, donkey spittle!" exclaimed the old man, before walking away sadly. "Aw, banjo polish!" Soon the others on the dock left, leaving the Pines family the only ones left.

"Well, that happened," said Patrick.

"Right! Now let's untie this boat and get out on that lake!" Stan told them, stepping into a rowboat that looked that had the name _Stanowar_ on it, and began to untie it. It was an old, worn old, hold-filled fishing boat that looked like it could fall apart at any second.

Patrick, while hesitant about getting into the boat, stepped towards it, only for Dipper to grab his hand and pull him back. "Patrick, wait," he said. "Did you two hear what that old dude said?"

Mabel joined the conversation by mimicking the old man. "'Aww, donkey shpittle!'"

"'Aw, banjo polish!'" Patrick mimicked just like her, causing the two to laugh with each other.

"The other thing," Dipper said with excitement. "About the monster." He then pulled out the magazine he was showing them back at the Mystery Shack out of his vest. "If we can snag a photo of it, we can split the prize evenly between the three of us. Giving us each over 333 dollars."

"That's like three 3s," Mabel said.

"Imagine what you could do with three Hundred. Thirty-three. Dollars!"

Right after he said that, Mabel turned away and looked upwards, seeming to let her imagination take over. However, Patrick looked at her with a deadpanned expression. "Lemme guess: you want the human-sized hamster ball. You'll shame a hamster for having one. You'll take it for a stroll and impress those two teenage boys from the one gay high school movie."

She nodded her head, but was still in her own little world. "Mabel!" Dipper started snapping his finger in front of her face. "Mabel?"

"Dipper. Patrick," she turned towards them with a serious expression, "I am one million percent on board with this!"

They then looked at Patrick, waiting for his answer. He looked at them for a second before crossing his arms and placed a hand on his chin. Thinking for a second before stretching the back of his head. "I don't know, you two," he said. "There's no guaranty that we'll find anything out there. And then there's the possibility that we do come across this 'Gobblewonker', it could be hostile and attack us."

"But if we don't go, we'll be listening to Grunkle Stan's jokes all day," pointed out Dipper.

Patrick didn't need another second to make his decision. "Stan!" He went up to the oldest Pines member with a big smile. "Change of plans: we're taking that boat to Scuttlebutt Island, and we're gonna find that Gobblewonker!"

"YAY!" Dipper and Mabel cheered together, facing one another. "Monster hunt! Monster hunt!"

The crazy old man from before tried joining the chant. "Monster hunt!" The twins stopped and stared at him. "Monster... Eh... I'll go."

A large honking was then heard, making them look in the direction of the source. Patrick was surprised to see it was Soos pulling up to the docks in a large, better built boat that had the name _S.S. Cool Dude_. "You dudes say somethin' about a monster hunt," he asked.

"Soos!" exclaimed Mabel, happy to see their friend.

"Wassup, hambone!" Soos and Mabel then fist bumped each other, and the making explosion sounds.

After they were finished with that, Patrick walked up to Soos and said, "I didn't know you had a boat."

"Oh yeah, dude," he said. "And you can totally use it for your hurt. It's got a steering wheel, chairs; normal boat stuff."

"All right, all right," said Stan, looking confident and proud, "let's think this through. Ya kids could go waste your time on some epic monster-finding adventure, or you could spend the day learning how to tie knots and skewer worms with your Great Uncle Stan!"

Patrick and the twin first look at Soos. He does the robot dance. They smiled and looked at their grunkle, as his boat leaked and sniffed his armpit. Their smiles dropped to frowns, and looked towards Scuttlebutt Island in the distance. This brought back their positivity and they grinned at one another.

"So, whaddaya say," asked Stan, more than convinced that they were going to go with him.

However, his response was the three on the other boat, driving away from the dock. Laughing as they head towards Scuttlebutt Island.

"We made the right choice!" Mabel could be heard saying in the distance.

"Yes!" said Soos.

Stan looked from shocked to angry. "Ingrates!" he yelled at them, waving a fist at them. "Aw, who needs 'em? I got a whole box of creepy fishing lures to keep _me_ company." He looked at his tackle box, in the place where he kept his bait. However the lures, which were dead fish, were starting to attract flies with their smell. This caused Stan to cringe in disgust and close the box.

Back on the _S.S. Cool Dude_ , Patrick stood on the stern of the boat, with one foot on the guardrail, now wearing a yellow life vest like the others. He held his hat in place, preventing the winds from taking it. The teen then turned around and called out, "Hoist the anchor!"

Soos pulled up a cinderblock anchor.

"Raise the flag!"

Mabel and Dipper held up two towels.

"We're gonna find that Gobblewonker," exclaimed Mabel, as the boat speeded towards Scuttlebutt Island.

"We're gonna win that photo contest," Dipper exclaimed.

"Do any of you dudes have sunscreen," asked Soos.

"Wait, what," asked Patrick, making the boat stop completely.

"I'd had sunscreen on me and was wondering if you guys had any."

Patrick sighed. "Okay, we're gonna... go get sunscreen!"

"YAY!" Everyone else cheered as the boat started up again and did a U-turn, heading back towards the shore.

However, unbeknownst to the four of them, a large, and strange object swam through the waters of the lake.

* * *

"Alright everyone, listen up!" Patrick exclaimed, making the twins and Soos line up, standing straight. "If we're serious about going after this thing, we need to do this the right way," he said, pacing in front of them. "So does anyone have any ideas on how we're going to catch a picture of this Gobblewonker?"

"I do," Dipper before walking next to him, in front of Mabel and Soos. "Okay. Think. What's the number one problem with most monster hunts?"

"You never know where it is until the last second," Patrick said.

"You're a side character, then you die within the first five minutes of the movie," said Soos, before starting to panic. "Dude, am I a side character?! Do y'ever think about stuff like that?"

"No, no, no. Camera trouble!" Dipper corrected them. "Say Bigfoot shows up. Soos, be Bigfoot?"

Soos turned around and then the ever so famous Bigfoot walking stance, with his head turned towards Dipper.

"There he is! Bigfoot," Dipper exclaimed in a mock acting voice. He then pats his life vest. "Uh-oh, no camera!" The male twin then pulled out a camera from his vest. "Oh, wait, here's one! Aw, no film!" He puts the camera back in his life vest, before talking in his normal voice. "You see? You see what I'm, doing here?"

"You do gotta point there," said Patrick, pointing at him. "So how do we prevent this?"

"Simple." Dipper brought out a brown bag looked to contain many ideas. "I've bought twenty-one disposable cameras!" He pulls back his sock. "Two on my ankle." Opened up his life vest. "Three in my jacket. Four for each of you." Patrick, Mabel, and Soos looked in their bags to see the cameras. "Three extras in this bag." He pointed at the bag he was carrying. "And one..." He lifted up his hat. "… under my hat! Two on my ankle, three in my jacket, four for each of you, three extras in this bag, and one... under my hat!"

For whatever reason Soos pointed a camera directly at his face and pushed the button, causing it to flash in his eyes. "Aw, dude!" He shouted, startled, and threw the camera overboard.

"Whoa! Crap! Soos! What the hell?" exclaimed Patrick.

"It's okay! It's okay." Dipper reassured him. "You see? This is exactly why you need backup cameras. We still have twenty!"

Just then a seagull flew over Mabel's head, startling her. "Ah, bird!" She threw a camera at the seagull, but it fell into the water.

"Mabel, stop!" Patrick exclaimed. "We've only got nineteen now! Don't lose anymore the cameras."

"Wait, lose the cameras," asked Soos.

"NO!"

"Dude, I just threw two away."

"Sixteen!" yelled Dipper, getting just as frustrated as Patrick. "All right! We still have sixteen camera—" he slammed his fist on the ice chest, but ended up smashing another camera. "Fifteen. We have fifteen cameras."

"So what's the plan," Mabel asked, holding a camera and her bag over the water. "Throw more cameras overboard or what?"

"DON'T YOU DARE!" Patrick snapped at her. He then took in a calm breath. "Okay. You'll be lookout, Soos can work the steering wheel, Dipper's the first mate, and I'll be captain."

"What? Why do you get to be captain?" Mabel complained, gesturing to herself. "What about Mabel, huh?" She then started chanting while pointing to herself with her thumbs. "Ma-bel! Ma-bel! Ma-bel! Ma-bel!"

"Mabel, other than Soos, I'm the oldest among all of us onboard. Mom and dad put in charge. Stan put me in charge whenever he's not around. And I'm the more responsible one out of the four of us."

"Then what about co-first mate?"

"There's no thing as co-first mate," said Dipper.

"Aw, whoops." Mabel tossed a camera over her shoulder.

"Okay, fine!" Patrick quickly said. "You can be co-first mate."

"Can I be associate co-first mate," asked Soos.

"Captain?" Mabel looked up at Patrick, awaiting for him to make a decision. And it seemed like she wanted him to agree.

"Sure, whatever," he said. "Now we all can assume the creature is large, right? So…" He went a wooden barrel that had the label 'fish food' on it. "As captain, I say that the best way to lure it out is with bait."

"Permission to taste some," asked Soos, weirding-out Patrick.

"Um… Granted?"

"Yes." He pumped his fist. Soos then grabbed one of the baits and licked it. He then started to gag and cough, trying to wipe his tongue from the disgusting taste. The twins and Patrick were laughing at him. "Dude, I don't know what I expected that to taste like!"

"Ha ha. Okay," said Patrick, wiping a tear from his eye. "Let's get going. Mabel, Soos, you two know your jobs. Dipper, you're on bait duty." Mabel and Soos snickered, prompt him to sigh. He should have said it differently. "You're throwing the bait. I'll assist in looking out for the monster and directing us." He walked over to the stern of the boat. "Remember, you're looking for a dark shadow in the water, so if you see one and it moves, alert us."

"Got it!" the others said. Soos went over to the controls and started the boat, making it head towards Scuttlebutt Island.

All was going fine for the crew of the _S.S. Cool Dude_ , but as they got closer to the haunted looking island, their surroundings drastically changed. Soon there was fog everywhere. Thick enough to almost block out the sun's light. There were broken trees around them too, with rock and the remains of small boats.

Patrick didn't like the look of things. His instincts defiantly told him to be on alert. He looked back at his cousin and co-worker. Dipper was throwing out bait with a shovel and Soos was driving the boat. He then turned his head back to look down at the water, shining a flashlight on the surface.

"Hey! How's it going," he heard Mabel ask, prompt him to look at her. He was almost surprised when he saw the cheerful girl standing next to a pelican, grabbing the bottom beak with her hand. "It's going awesome!" She made a strange voice while moving the bird's mouth, playing ventriloquist with it. "Bow bow, buh bow bow!"

"Mabel, leave that thing alone," he told her. "I highly doubt it likes you doing that to it."

"Aw, I don't mind none!" She made the pelican say. Mabel then picked up a glass of water and said in her normal voice, "Hey, look, I'm drinking water!" She then tried to make it seem like the pelican was talking, while she was drinking down the water. "Twinkle, twinkle little..." She stopped when she choked on the water, forcing her to start coughing as the pelican flew away.

Dipper then asked from where he was, "Aren't you supposed to be doing lookout?"

"Look out," she exclaimed, and threw a volley ball at him, hitting him on the arm. Dipper held his arm and shivered.

"Mabel, no bullying your brother." Patrick scolded her.

"Heh, heh. But seriously, I'm on it," she said, before the boat suddenly jolted as it came to a stop. Startling everyone.

Patrick dropped the flashlight and grabbed a hold of the guardrail when it happened, but luckily it wasn't that bad of a collision. "What was that?"

"See? We're here!" exclaimed Mabel, prompting Patrick and the other males onboard to look. They realized that the boat had indeed crashed onto the shores of Scuttlebutt Island. "I'm a lookout genius!" Mabel then walked off of the boat. "Hamster ball, here we come!"

Patrick, Dipper, and Soos soon disembarked from the boat as well. Patrick shined the flashlight, while Dipper brought out a lantern. The teen walked in front of everyone and lead the group into the foggy woods.

It was dark and cold even, with little to no sunlight. Some of the trees couldn't be fully seen, only their silhouettes. Animals on the island were starting to become active after the presence of the four were. They soon came up to a large sign nailed into a tree that said 'Scuttlebutt Island'. Patrick and Dipper walked past it, but Soos and Mabel stopped at it.

"Dude, check it out," said the big man before covering up the _Scuttle_ part of the sign, leaving only the words _Butt Island_ visible. "Butt Island."

"Soos, you rapscallion," exclaimed Mabel.

Patrick didn't look that impressed, as he and Dipper stopped to see what was holding them up. "Oh yes, Soos. You're a comedy god," he said sarcastically.

"Hey!" Mabel went over to them. "Why aren't you laughing? Are you _scared_?"

"Pssh! Yeah, right!" Dipper said in denial, turning his head away. "I'm not—" He didn't get to finish saying what he was going to say when Mabel poked him on the nose and blows a raspberry.

"Yeah, you are!" The female sister started to continually poke him and blow raspberries, making Dipper to drop the lantern and try to get her to stop.

"Mabel!" Patrick get her to stop. "I told you: no making fun of your brother." He was then startled when a growling noise was heard in the distance. This also caused the twins to get closer to their cousin, with Mabel hiding behind his leg, as they looked around at their surroundings in fright.

Soos joined up with them. "Dude, did you guys hear that?"

"Yeah." Patrick place a hand on Mabel's head. "Please tell me that was your stomach."

"Nah, my stomach normally sounds like whale noises," said Soos.

Mabel went to him and place her ear to his stomach. Sure enough, she heard the sounds of whales. "Wow," she whispered. "So majestic."

Patrick stared at them, not sure on what to think.

"Oh no!" Dipper exclaimed when possum a came out of nowhere and grabbed the lantern and ran away. "Our lantern." After the light of the lantern was far enough away, the boy was forced to squint his eyes to try and see. "Aww! I can't see anything!"

"That's it. We're done here," Patrick said sternly. "There's no way that this thing isn't worth it."

"Not worth it," asked Dipper. "Guys, imagine what would happen if we got that picture!"

"Let me guess." Patrick stared down at him with a deadpanned expression. "You'd be famous. You'd dress up like Indiana Jones. You'd get on a talk show with a guy named Charlie. He'd give you a metal, before Mabel chases the party."

Dipper and Mabel looked upwards with a smile, almost in a dreaming state.

"You were just thinking that, weren't you?"

They nodded.

Patrick then thought about what he could do with that money. He could save it for another time. Like an emergency. "Okay, I'm in."

"YES!" The twins yelled, before running off."

"Hey!" Patrick and Soos ran after them.

After the twins started walking at a slower pace again, the four continued their search for the Gobblewonker. A minute later, Soos started to beatbox while Mabel rapped.

"My name is Mabel!"

"It rhymes with table!"

"It also rhymes with... glabel!"

"It also rhymes with... shmabel!"

"Dude, we should be writing this down," said Soos.

"No you shouldn't," Patrick said to them. "That was terrible."

"Guys, guys, guys!" Dipper stopped them, while holding up a camera. "You hear something?" They started to listen closely. The growling noise heard again, this time louder than before. Birds started to fly away from the sound, catching their attention. "This is it! This is it!" Dipper said with excitement.

He and Mabel went on ahead, punching each other excitedly. But Patrick and Soos were anything but thrilled. Why did I have to leave the crowbar at home, the teen asked to himself. He then spotted a stick that had a sharp end. Patrick picked it up and adjusted his boonie hat, before he and Soos went with them into the fog.

Walking through the fog, they saw nothing at first. But then, Soos stopped the group with his arms when he spotted something. Pointing towards whatever it was, the others were surprised to see the silhouette of a large creature swimming above the surface. To them it looked like a plesiosaur, a type of prehistoric marine reptile. This assumption was made by the creature's large body, long neck, and a small head.

The group quickly ducked behind a log. They then looked over it to look at the Gobblewonker.

"Everyone: Get your cameras ready!" Dipper whispered, his instructions to them. Soos brought out a camera and nodded at the boy. Patrick held a camera in one hand and the stick in the other. Mabel turned hers on with an excited expression.

"Ready? GO!"

Soos yelled like a mad man as he jumped over the log, held his camera in front of him, and ran towards the silhouette, snapping photos at random. Patrick and the twins follow him. The big man continued his hysterical action, but as they get closer and the fog cleared up, the group discovered that the silhouette was nothing more than the remains of a wrecked boat. After seeing this, a bunch of beavers popped out of the wreck.

" _I love cavorting!_ " one beaver said to the other, with only them being able to understand.

" _That deserves a hug!_ " The other beaver hugged the first one, while a third beaver thumps his tail on the boat and walked sideways off of the boat.

The Pines just stood on an edge and stared in confusion, while Soos happily took pictures of them. "Dude," Patrick said, "what the hell?"

"But... but what was that noise, then," asked Dipper, not believing what he was seeing was real. "I heard a monster noise!"

The 'monster noise' was heard again, causing them to look in its direction. They saw a beaver chewing on a rusty old chainsaw, before it activated, causing the same growling noise that they've been hearing.

"Sweet! Beaver with a chainsaw," said Soos, before trying to take a picture. The camera wouldn't work, so he looked at it and saw that it was out of film. He then turned to Patrick. "You mind if I us a…" Patrick just handed him his bag of cameras without saying a word. His expression carried a look an annoyance.

"I can't believe this," he said. "We came all the way out here for a bunch of beavers?"

Dipper sighed in defeat. "Maybe that old guy was crazy after all," he said.

"He _did_ use the word 'scrapdoodle,'" Mabel said.

Patrick said to them with sympathy, "I'm sorry you guys." He looked towards Soos, but saw that he wasn't there. "Where' Soos go?"

"Ooh, yeah!" They heard the older friend, and they turned their head to see him taking pictures of a beaver posing—not really—on a stump. "Work it! Work it! Nice! Nice! Gimme another one of those! Yeah, I like that one."

Dipper sighed again and hopped onto a boulder sticking out of the water. "What're we gonna say to Grunkle Stan? We ditched him over nothing," he said before throwing a stone into the lake. He sighed again, but then the water started to ripple. He was then startled when the boulder started to shake. "Hey... guys, do you feel that?"

Suddenly the bolder sinks immediately into the water, and Dipper falls into it.

"Dipper!" Patrick quickly went over to the edge and helped his cousin get back on the island. They were then startled when the silhouette of a tail came out of the water, before a large object swam away from the shore. That object was a part of a larger, shadowy object that was under the surface.

"This is it!" Dipper quickly held a camera up and shot a picture of its side, as the Gobblewonker turned to the right. "Come on!" he exclaimed to the other, right before the object went under the water. Heading right towards them "This is our chance!"

"Dipper…" Patrick said worriedly as he, Soos, and Mabel backed away. "I think you should back away."

"What's wrong with you guys," he asked. After getting close enough behind him, Gobblewonker raised its head out of the water, revealing it's growling yellow eyes, an overlapping lower jaw with two tusks and sharp teeth, and a long mane that ran all the way down its back.

Patrick dropped the stick, looking up at it in shock and fear. "Dipper, it's time to go!"

"It's not that hard, all right?" Dipper said, still on realizing that the Gobblewonker was behind him. "All you gotta do is point, and shoot. Like this!" He turned around and aimed the camera. But soon he was aiming it upwards until he came to the creature's face.

The Gobblewonker roared at them, causing Soos and Mabel ran for their lives and Patrick to grabbing Dipper's arm.

"We're leaving, NOW!" He yelled before pulling Dipper with him, causing him to drop the camera. The two of them started running for their lives, as the Gobblewonker got onto the island. Pushing over a tree that fell towards Patrick, Mabel, and Dipper. Patrick saw the tree coming down on them, and quickly lunged at the twin, causing them to roll out of the way, and continue running. They continue to dodge more falling trees before eventually catching up to Soos. "Where's the boat?!"

"It's just down this path! HURRY!" exclaimed Soos, before Mabel screamed when the Gobblewonker's came at her. It tried to snap at her, before she hopped onto Soos' back.

Dipper turned his upper body to the creature and aimed another camera at it, taking a picture. However, his foot was caught by a vein and he dropped it. "The picture!" He stopped and was about to go after it when Patrick picked him up and placed him on his shoulder.

"Dipper, now's not the best time!" Patrick yelled.

"Dude, if it makes you feel any better," Soos exclaimed, "I got tons of pictures of those beavers, dude!"

"WHY WOULD THAT MAKE ME FEEL BETTER?!" Dipper yelled.

The group was able to reach the boat. Patrick put his male cousin on it, while Soos helped Mabel get on, before they both climbed onboard themselves. Moving to the back, their combined weight helped get the boat back down into the water, as Soos went to the controls.

"Let's get outta here, dudes!" he exclaimed. Putting the boat in reverse, Soos drove the boat away from the island, just as the monster broke out of the forest.

"All right! This is it!" Dipper said. This could be his best chance to get a picture. He pulled out a camera and aimed it at the Gobblewonker. To his shock, it had a cracked lens. " _Cracked lens_?! Soos! Get a photo!"

Soos, however, was throwing cameras at the monster.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

"Oh! I still got two left!" Soos showed him the two cameras that he didn't throw. "Don't worry, dude!" He threw one of them at Dipper, but it missed and hit the wall, causing it to break.

"Give me that!" Patrick snatched the last camera out of Soos'. "Just drive the boat!"

The Gobblewonker roared and dived into the lake. It then raised its head above the lake and towered over them. Soos got to the control and accelerated the boat's speed, before it dived its head into the water and caused waves that the boat bounced on. Soos turned the boat around and had it facing the right way.

"Go, go, go, go, go!" Dipper pointed frantically. Soos had the boat go at maximum speed. The Gobblewonker gave chase.

The chase led them to pass Stan's boat and soak him. The oldest Pines member threw his hat down in frustration, then sat down and sighed.

Patrick, who was looking back at the Gobblewonker as they went back to Scuttlebutt Island, turned his attention to ahead of the boat and his eyes widened in panic. "BEAVERS!" He yelled, pointing to the same boat wreck that had the beavers.

" _We're still beavers!_ "

Soos turned the boat to the side, hoping that he wouldn't run into the wreck, but it failed. The _S.S. Cool Dude_ slammed into the wreckage, sending the beavers flying everywhere. Some ended up landing on the group's boat, where they started to bite it and the crew.

Two Beavers were biting down on Dipper's hat. Mabel was trying to shake a beaver of her arm. Patrick was sitting on the deck and trying to pull one off his right leg.

Suddenly a beaver jumped and latched onto Soos' face, causing him to stubble away from the wheel. Patrick decided to just deal with the beaver on his leg and quickly went to take control of the wheel, steering it away from the Gobblewonker. Dipper went over to help by trying to dislodge the beaver on his cousin's leg, while Soos ran in circles, crying in pain from the beaver still on his face. Dipper got Patrick's beaver off, and threw it at the Gobblewonker.

The creature dived and continued its pursuit of the boat from under the water. Patrick's eyes widened again when he saw a bunch of boats ahead of him. With nowhere else to turn, he maneuvered through them, but the boats were eventually overturned and flew into the air by the Gobblewonker.

Ahead of them, Manly Dan had a fish in a headlock. "Headlock!"

"Dad! Dad! Dad!" chanted his son, right before it was turned over by the Gobblewonker. After coming to the surface, the family was soon met with fish raining down on them.

"The fishes! They seek revenge!" Manly Dan exclaimed, before he and his sons swam away. "Swim, boys! Swim!"

Back with the _S.S. Cool Dude_ , the Gobblewonker used its head to hit the side of the boat. It then swiped at the vehicle and managed to knock off the control cabin.

The Pines and Soos got back up after having to duck their heads from the swipe. Soos was still having trouble getting the beaver off his face.

"Aah! Look out!" Mabel yelled, pointing at something ahead of them.

When Patrick looked, all he said was; "Are you kidding me!"

"Easy..." said a man, as he and another man was transporting a sheet over the water. Each man standing on a single boat. "Easy..."

The _S.S. Cool Dude_ drove right through it and broke the glass sheet.

Patrick saw that they had now entered a narrow valley, with rock walls on both sides. However, he started to panic when he saw that they were heading straight for a waterfall. "IF ANYONE HAS ANY IDEAS ON WHERE TO GO, NOW IS THE TIME TO SHARE!"

Dipper quickly pulled out the Journal and flipped through the pages, before stopping at one of them. "GO INTO THE FALLS!" He exclaimed and pointed. "I think there might be a cave behind there!"

"MIGHT BE?!" Mabel exclaimed.

"YOU _THINK_?!" Patrick exclaimed.

With no other options, the teen kept the boat straight. Directing it to the waterfall. They all scream and closed their eyes, not wanting to see what could the last thing they'll ever see. However, the boat goes right through the waterfall and into the cave behind it. Their boat crashed into a sandy shore, sending them flying off the boat and into the dirt. They all stand up and dusted themselves off. They then turned around to see the Gobblewonker swim in after them, making them all scream. Patrick grabbed the twins and hugged them close for any protection he could give them, with Soos hugging all three of them.

However, when nothing happened, they opened their eyes and looked at the monster, and saw it got stuck in the cave's entrance. Struggling to escape.

"It's stuck!" Mabel exclaimed with a smile.

"Ha ha! Yeah!" Dipper laughed before coming to a realization. "Wait...It's stuck?"

They quickly ran over to a ledge that was high above the Gobblewonker. This was the perfect spot to take a picture. Dipper reached into his life vest to grab a camera, but felt nothing. Panicking, he patted all over his body to find one, but felt nothing. He couldn't have lost all of the cameras. He couldn't have!

"Boop," said Mabel, taking off his hat to show him the one camera he had under it. Dipper laughed happily as he grabbed it and took as many pictures as he could with it. Gobblewonker tried to snap at him, but was unable to reach them.

"Didja get a good one," asked Patrick.

"THEY'RE ALL GOOD ONES!" Dipper exclaimed, throwing his hands up with glee.

"WOO!" Mabel shouted as she, her twin, and Patrick all hugged. "HAMSTER BALL!"

The Gobblewonker continued to roar as it tried to break free, until it was hit in the head by a falling rock. Strangely the rock caused a loud _ding_ sound, like a bell. Its head fell down with an electric noise.

"What the…?" Dipper said, not sure what just happened.

"Stay here," Patrick told them as he walked down to the Gobblewonker and hopped onto it. He placed a hand onto it, only to flinch when he felt how cold it was.

"What's wrong?" Mabel called to him.

Remembering that one tree that he and Dipper found in the woods, Patrick knocked on the creature. Sure enough, it made a hollow metallic with each knock. Curious, he started climbing up the Gobblewonker.

"Careful, dude!" Soos called to him.

"I've got this! Hold on!" He told them before climbing over the Gobblewonker. The twins and Soos started to get worried. Patrick then popped up from the other side. "Hey, guys! Check this out!"

After reaching him, the gang discovered a wheel handle. After sharing a glance with each twin, Patrick grabbed the handle and turned it, causing steam to escape. He then grabbed trapdoor and opened it, but this caused more steam come out, making them turn away to cough.

Once the steam cleared up, the Pines were shocked beyond words to find the crazy old man from the docks sitting down in there, working frantically on a set of controls. "Work the bellows and the..." He looked over his shoulder and up at the four that were looking down at him. "Eh? Aww, banjo polish!"

"Wha- Yo- You?!" Dipper exclaimed. "You built this thing?"

Patrick reached in and grabbed the old man's bread and pulled him up, making him yelp in pain as he glared at him. "You better have a good reason for attacking us, before I start knocking out every last one of your teeth!"

"Well, I...I, uh..." The old man looked at them nervously and scared, before finally saying shamefully, "I just wanted attention."

"I still don't understand," said Dipper.

"Well, first I just hootenannied up a biomechanical brain wave generator," he said happily, before freeing his bread from Patrick's grip and wrapping the end of it on a stick-shift, "and then I learned to operate a stick-shift with ma beard!"

"Okay, yeah. But why did you do it," asked Mabel.

"Well, when you get to be an old fella like me, nobody pays any attention to you anymore," the old man said sadly. "My own son hasn't visited me in months! So I figured maybe I'd catch his fancy with a fifteen ton aquatic robut!" He laughed like a maniac, but then sighed. "In retrospect, it seems a bit contrived. You just don't know the length us old-timers go through for a little quality time with our family."

When he finished, the Pines twins and teen pulled out their fishing hats and vest that Stan made for them, looking at them sadly. "We messed up, didn't we," asked Patrick.

"Yeah, dude," said Soos. "I guess the real lake monster is you three." Patrick glared at him "Heh, heh! Sorry, that just like-boom-just popped into my head there."

"So, did you ever talk to your son about how you felt," Patrick asked the old man.

"No, sir, I got to work straight on the robut!" He activated a projector that showed the blueprints for the Gobblewonker on the trapdoor. "I made lots of robuts in my day!" The old man pushed a button and the projector showed a newspaper with a robot pterodactyl breathing fire on a town, with the title ' _CHAOS!_ ' "Like when my wife left me and I created a homicidal pterodactyl-tron." The next projector showed a picture of a man. "Or when my pal Ernie didn't come to my retirement party—" he pushed the button again and showed another newspaper with a large robot terrorizing a town, with the title 'DISASTER'—"and I constructed an eighty ton _SHAME BOT_ THAT EXPLODED THE ENTIRE DOWNTOWN AREA!" He again laughed like a maniac, while the Pines and Soos stared at him with wide eyes. "Well, time to get back to work on my death ray!" the old man ducked back into the Gobblewonker and construction noises can be heard from inside. He then raised a hand in a grabbing motion. "Any of you kids got a screwdriver?"

Dipper sighed and took out the camera. "Well, so much for the photo contest," he said, depressed.

"Yeah," Patrick said, pulling out the one camera he saved, "but I still got one good one that hasn't been used."

"Whaddaya wanna do with it," Mabel asked.

* * *

Back at the lake, Stan was going back to the shore, looking depressed. They may have not believed him, but he genuinely wanted to send the day fishing with them. He rarely ever sees the twins, and this summer marked the first time he's actually got to see Patrick, especially because the boy's mom, his own niece, forbid him from ever coming to their home.

But he couldn't blame her for having a grudge against him.

Stan sighed. Maybe they didn't like him as much as he thought.

"Hey! Over here!" Stan's head peeped up when he heard Patrick's voice. He turned his head to see the torn up _S.S. Cool Dude_ pulled up to him. Both boats, before the teen took a picture of his grunkle. "What the—Kids," Stan asked. "I thought you two were off playing 'Spin the Bottle' with Soos!"

"Well, we spent all day trying to find a 'legendary' dinosaur," Dipper admitted, scratching his arm.

"But we realized, the only dinosaur we wanna hang out with is right here," Mabel said, gesturing to Stan.

But Stan wasn't convinced. "Save your sympathy! I've been having a great time withoutcha'! Makin' friends, talkin' to my reflection—I had a run-in with the lake police!" He left up a leg to show a device around his ankle. "Guess I gotta wear this ankle bracelet now, so that'll be fun."

"So... I guess there isn't room in that boat for four more," asked Patrick.

Stan glared at them. The twins put on their hats and Patrick slipped on his vest. His expression softened. "You knuckleheads ever seen me thread a hook with my eyes closed," he asked.

"Five bucks says you can't do it!" Dipper challenged him.

"You're on!" Stan exclaimed, before the male twin jumped into the boat.

"Five more bucks says you can't do it with your eyes closed, plus me singing at the top of my lungs!" Mabel then challenged, as Patrick climbed into the boat.

"I like those odds," Stan said, as Mabel climbed into the _Stanowar_. Soos was the last to get onboard, but Stan noticed the he was shirtless. "Whoa! What happened to your shirt?"

"Long story, dude," he said.

"All right, everybody get together," Patrick told them, holding the camera. "Say fishing!"

"Fishing!" Mabel, Dipper, and Stan said together. Soos stepped into the picture, but only his large stomach showed.

"Dude, am I in the frame," he asked.

Patrick took the picture. And after that, many more came. One was of Mabel covering Stan's eyes while he peeks and tried to thread a hook; Stan reading jokes while Mabel and Soos laughed, while Dipper didn't look all too amused; Dipper holding up his first fish; Stan posing with his hand in his vest, but cut off his face; Stan and Mabel stealing a fish from a little girl and her grandfather by cutting the net; Dipper, Mabel, and Stan driving away from the lake police.

After all of that, they were back on the docks. "Okay, let's head home," Stan told them, before everyone walked away towards the shore, except Patrick, who was standing next to the barrel of bait, the thing that survived the _S.S. Cool Dude._

"I'm going to dump this stuff out," he told them before turning the barrel over on its side and rolling it over to the end of the dock. Stopping at the edge, Patrick wiped his forehead of sweat before bending down to turn the opening to the lake and open the release the bait.

However, he never got the chance to do it when something blasted out of the water. Looking up, Patrick was shocked to see it was the Gobblewonker. But this one looked different.

This one looked real!

The green plesiosaur reached down with its head and grabbed the barrel, and then dived back into the water.

Patrick stood there with wide eyes, shocked by what had just happened.

He looked back at the other. They didn't even see or notice the Gobblewonker.

Patrick looked back out to the lake again. He then wiped his hands on each other, then walked away with his hands up, not wanting to deal with this.

* * *

 **And that's the second chapter of "** **Weirder Things** **."**

 **I've actually just started watching** _ **Stranger Things**_ **. I'm hooked, my parents are hooked, and it's great! Just to let you guys know.**

 **By the way, Patrick's not taking Soos' place in that zodiac circle to seal Bill away. I'm just going to add another symbol to it. Remember, not all the symbols are literal.**

 **Also, I'm planning on doing a** _ **Star Wars**_ **crossover soon, but I'm having trouble deciding if I should go with** _ **Avatar: The Last Airbender**_ **or** _ **The Legend of Korra**_ **. The full details of the plan are on my profile. I'd REALLY appreciate it if you guys could give me your opinions so I can get started on that, either in a review or a PM.**

 **Another thing that I've had trouble with for the** _ **Star Wars**_ **crossover is deciding a freighter for the heroes, because it wouldn't be** _ **Star Wars**_ **without one. I'm thinking of going for either YT-1300 (like the** _ **Millennium Falcon**_ **), YT-2400 (like the** _ **Outrider**_ **), a Dynamic-class freighter (like the** _ **Ebon Hawk**_ **), or a VCX-100 light freighter (like the** _ **Ghost**_ **from** _ **Rebels**_ **). What's your guy's thoughts?**

 **That's it for today. Please be sure to favorite and follow if you like the series. If you're already are, then please leave a review of the chapter, and PM me if you have a question or anything.**

 **Thank you for reading, and have a good day!**


	3. Headhunters

**Before we get started, I'm going to be doing something with the title sequence. I'm still using the** _ **Stranger Things**_ **opening theme for it, but I'm doing something different with it.**

 **Without lyrics, I'll have the using seconds of the opening.**

 **If that's confusing, then just use the show's opening title sequence on the Netflix YouTube channel as a point of reference.**

* * *

In the Mystery Shack, Patrick and his cousins were in the living room watching TV. The twins were on the floor, with Dipper eating popcorn from a bowl and Mabel knitting a new sweater. Their cousin was on the recliner, bored as he watched with them what could possibly be the only good show in Gravity Falls.

The show was called Duck-tective and it was about a duck detective with a Sherlock Holmes hat solving mysteries.

" _I'm afraid your services won't be required here, sir,"_ a Constable in the show said. Mabel reached down to the bowl for some popcorn, but Dipper slaps her hand _. "My men have examined the evidence, and this is obviously an accident."_ The 'accident' of the scene was a man's dead body inside of a telephone booth that the Constable. His limbs sticking out of the booth.

The duck of the show soon stepped into the scene, quacking his lines as subtitles appeared. _"An accident, constable? Or is it..."_ The duck paused, before turning to the viewers in a dramatic way. _"Murder?!"_

" _What?!"_ The Constable exclaimed in shock, before the title of the show appeared over him.

" _Duck-tective will return after these messages,"_ the announcer said.

"Boooo," Patrick booed the TV with a bored expression. "Who writes this stuff?"

However, Mabel dropped her sweater and placed her hands on her cheeks, her eyes sparkling. "That duck is a genius," she gasped.

"Eh, it's easier to find clues when you're that close to the ground," Dipper said.

"Are you saying you could outwit Duck-tective?" Mabel questioned him with her hands on her hips and squinting doubtfully at her twin.

"Come on, Mabel," Patrick said, turning off the TV, "we're talking about a _duck_. Just because they're an animal, doesn't make them smart."

"And besides, I have very keen powers of observation," Dipper said with pride. "For example, just by smelling your breath, I can tell that you have been eating…" he sniffed the air, before looking at Mabel with a raised eyebrow. "...an entire tube of toothpaste?!"

Patrick looked at Mabel again and this time he noticed she had glittering toothpaste all over her mouth. "Mabel, how many times do I gotta tell you not to do that?"

She looked away in shame and said, "It was so sparkly..."

"Hey, dudes," Soos' voice was hear from outside the living room's doorway. The three looked and saw the employee running in with a broom and excited expression. "You'll never guess what I found," he exclaimed excitedly.

"Buried treasure," Dipper exclaimed, throwing his fists up.

"A time machine," Patrick exclaimed.

"Buried—" Mabel stopped before laughing at Dipper. "Hey, I was gonna say that," she said before pushing him.

Later the three Pines kids were following Soos as he led them down a dark and dusty hallway that they've haven't been through. The wallpaper was torn and peeling, the floor boards were loose in a few places, and there were no lights, other than where they came. Mabel looked scared and held onto Patrick hand, as he and Dipper looked uneasily around the hall.

"So, I was cleaning up, when I found this secret door, hidden behind the wallpaper," Soos said, holding his broom with freight, before stopping. They were now standing in front of the wall that had a door knob on it, was covered in torn up wallpaper, and slightly opened. "It's crazy bonkers creepy!"

"Soos, we've been here for a good while now," Patrick said, taking out his crowbar from behind his back. "I think we can had handle whatever's behind that door."

"Alright, don't say I didn't warn you." Soos placed his hand on the door and gently pushed it open, ripping apart a few spider webs. The kids and teenager were surprised to see that on the other side of the door was a room is filled with several different wax sculptures from history and fiction.

"Whoa!" The three of them said, before walking into the room, looking at all the sculptures

"It's a secret wax museum!" Dipper whispered, as he took out a flashlight and shined it around.

"Why would Stan have these things in here," Patrick asked, looking at the Sherlock Holmes sculpture with Mabel.

"They're so life-like," she said, pointing at the wax figure.

"Except for that one," Dipper said, shining his light and pointing at one that looked a lot like Stan.

It turned out to be Grunkle Stan. "Hello!" Dipper, Patrick, Mabel, and Soos screamed in surprise. Stan chuckled and said with a smile, "It's just me, your Grunkle Stan!"

The four of them screamed once again, only this time in terror, before making a break for it.

* * *

 **{Play** _ **Stranger Things**_ **theme by Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein}**

 **[0:00-0:03]**

 _At the beginning of the intro, there is nothing but blackness._

 **[0:03-0:08]**

 _Then about three seconds later, a bunch photographs started falling from above in slow motion._

 **[0:08-0:11]**

 _Getting a closer look at one of the photographs, while others twirled and spun in the background in slow motion, shows the town of Gravity Falls from a distance._

 **[0:11-0:14]**

 _Another picture shows the Mystery Shack during the night time, with bright lights shining thought the windows._

 **[0:14-0:16]**

 _One photo shows a thundering sky that had a large, flying creature's shadow being seen through the dark clouds. The camera then focuses on a picture behind the previous one, showing large claw marks on a tree trunk, as more photos were seen falling._

 **[0:16-0:19]**

 _Three photos are focused on now, one showing an angry Gnome, the second showing something that resembles the Long Ness Monster, and the third show a dinosaur tooth trapped in amber._

 **[0:19-0:25]**

 _The camera shows the cluster of photographs continuing to fall, before angling downwards to show all of them lying on a flat surface, collecting in a pile._

 **[0:25-0:40]**

 _The camera then gradually moves back to show more of the photos landing. After the last of the photos were on the surface, the camera moves upwards, displaying nothing but blackness again._

 **[0:40-45]**

 _Then the title of the story, including the red circle with triangle, appeared in a flash of light._

 _ **WEIRDER THINGS**_

 **[0:45-end]**

 _It then disappeared, before the chapter title appeared._

 **Chapter Three**

 **Headhunters**

* * *

"Behold the Gravity Falls Wax Museum!" Stan said, after Patrick, the twins, and Soos came back in. "It was one of our most popular attractions... before I forgot all about it." He started walking around. "I got 'em all! Genghis Khan, Sherlock Holmes," he stopped and looked confusingly at the wax sculpture of Larry King, "some kind of, I don't know, goblin man?"

"Larry King," Patrick corrected him.

Dipper shuddered in fright of the figures. "Is anyone else getting the creeps here," he asked, looking around at the room.

"Tell me about it," Patrick said, looking weirded out at a wax sculpture Lizzie Borden. "I mean, it's bad enough that we got fake, creepy things on display in the Shack, but this is beyond want I'm comfortable with."

"Anyway, now for my personal favorite: Wax Abraham Lincoln!" He exclaimed gesturing towards nothing but air.

Patrick looked down at the floor and a melted glob of wax, which was under the sunlight from the window above it. "Uh, Stan."

"Hm?" Stan looked at him. Patrick pointed to the glob and he looked at it too. He then yelled, "Oh! Oh no! Come on, who left the blinds open?" He pointed at another wax sculpture. "Wax John Wilkes Booth, I'm looking in your direction!" He sighed and bent down on one knee, before putting a finger in the wax and scooping up a small amount of it. "How do you fix a wax figure?"

"Cheer up, Grunkle Stan," Mabel said, trying to brighten his mood. She leaned on his right shoulder. "Where's that smile?"

"Egh."

"Beep, bop, boop!" She cheerfully poked him in his cheek, nose, and eye.

"Ow." Stan got up, not want be poked in the face again.

"Don't worry, Grunkle Stan. I'll make you a new wax figure from all this old wax," She told him.

"You really think you can make one of these puppies," he asked her with some doubt.

"Grunkle Stan, I'm an arts and crafts master," Mabel said in a matter of fact tone. "Why do you think I always have this glue gun stuck to my arm?" She Held up her arm, which has a glue gun and some little arts and crafts items glued to it. The girl twin shook her arm in an attempt to get it off, but to no success.

"I like your gumption, kid," Stan said, pointing at her

"I don't know what that word means, but thank you!"

0000000000000

Later on that day, Mabel collected all of the wax from Wax Abraham Lincoln and formed it into a block for her to create the figure out of.

Patrick and Dipper entered the room, with the former drinking soda. Walking towards her to see if she would want some help.

"You guys!" She exclaimed when she jumped from her small latter and landed in front of him. Causing them to be startled, with Patrick choking on his soda.

"What do you think of my wax figure idea," she asked before holding up a drawing in her notebook. It was a drawing of some kind of half human princess and half horse. "She's part fairy princess, and part horse fairy princess!"

Dipper looked at it and became unsure with what he was looking at or how to respond. "M…maybe you should carve something from real life."

"Like a waffle, with big arms!" She drew and then showed the two male Pines a waffle with a face and two big muscular arms.

Patrick looked at her in deadpan. "No," he said. "In order for this to work, we're going to need someone in real life that the people will instantly recognize."

"Kids," Stan said, walking into the room with no pants on, walking up to a briefcase that was under a ray of light, "have you seen my pants?" He then posed on the briefcase: having one foot on it with a hand over his brow. As she stared at him, Mabel's eyes grew bigger with excitement, as her creative brain was instantly inspired.

"Oh, muse," she said, turning away and looking up. "You work in mysterious ways."

"Why's she talking to the ceiling," Stan asked Patrick and Dipper.

"Hold on." The teenager ran out of the room. He came back in with a stereo. "Got to have music to motivate you," he said with a before pressing the play button.

 **[Play music:** _ **I'm Alright**_ **by Kenny Loggins]**

And so that started Mabel's great sculpting montage. She brought out a rolled up blanket, before unrolling it, revealing the many sculpting tools in it. She then opened a tool box and took out a pair of goggles, before putting them. Mabel stood up and looked at the block of wax and cracked her knuckles.

She spent nonstop hours chipping away at the wax to get it into the figure she wanted. The sunlight in the room moved to simulate the passing of time.

A moment later, and Mabel finished the process, and felt tired. Patrick came up to her and offered her a glass of water. She gratefully accepted it, only to do the unexpected and slashed it in her face.

Once after that, she started painting. First by mixing and then tasting. She then went to the sculpture and let loose.

After hours of work, Mabel believe she was ready for the final step. She backed away from the figure, as Patrick and Dipper stood behind her with admiring expression. She squinted her eyes at it, thinking that it needed something.

Patrick looked down at his left and saw a bucket of glitter next to him. Bending down, he grabbed it and walked towards the sculpture. Reaching into the bucket, he grabbed a pinch of glitter and looked at Mabel.

Mabel shook her head in disapproval.

Blinking two times in confusion, Patrick reached back in a grabbed a hand full of glitter.

Mabel thought for a moment, but ultimately shook her head.

Patrick looked a little irked at her and held up the bucket, silently asking if he should just throw all the glitter onto the sculpture. When she nodded her head in approval, he shrugged his shoulders and tossed of it onto the statue.

 **[End music]**

Stan then came in, having pants on. However, he was now walking with only his socks. "I found my pants, but now I'm missing my—" he stopped when he noticed the statue, before screaming in terror and falling on his back.

"What do you think," Mabel asked, looking down at him.

"I think..." Stan then grinned from ear to ear and threw his arms up, "the Wax Museum's back in business!"

* * *

An hour later, and word spread of the Wax's Museum's re-opening. Much to Patrick and Dipper's surprise, almost everyone in town was diving to the Mystery Shack to see the wax statues. Soos was upper a pair of poles that held up the sign that said _'Wax Museum of Mystery Grand Re-opening!'_ as he ate two corndogs.

Patrick worked with Wendy at the stand for admission, with him taking the money and then she hands out the ticket. After the final customer was given their ticket, Patrick turned to Wendy. "Man, I can't believe this many people showed up," he said to her with a smile. "It's like the whole town came out here!"

"I know, right?" Wendy nodded with a smile too. "Your uncle probably bribed them or something."

"I don't know," Patrick said with a hand on his chin with a playful innocent smile. "I do admit he's very…" He took off his boonie hat, showing a twenty dollar bill under it. "…persuasive."

"Oh, I do agree," she said jokingly, taking off her lumberjack hat to reveal her twenty dollars. The two of them laughed. Patrick had to admit that he was really enjoying the times he gets to spend with her. Even if its small moments like this. He wasn't stressing—too much—with her and felt as though he could just be a little laid back.

On the stage, Mabel and Dipper stood next to her creation that was covered under a cover. Behind them, the other wax figures. "You ready for this, Mabel," Dipper asked, panting her on the back.

"You know it!" She exclaimed with excitement.

Stan soon came onto the stage and walked up to the podium. He cleared his throat and tapped the microphone, which ended up hurting everyone's ears. "You all know me, folks! Town darling, "'Mr. Mystery,'" he said with a confident smile. "Please, ladies, control yourselves!"

Three women in the audience stared blankly ahead, flies swarming around them.

"As you know, I always bring the people of this fair town novelties and befuddlements, the likes of which the world, has never known. But enough about me." Dipper grabbed the fabric covering the statue. "Behold..." His nephew pulled it away, revealing a glittery wax statue of Stan smiling and holding a thumbs up. "ME!"

Soos pressed a key on his keyboard that made a fanfare sound, then pressed another key repeatedly that went: "Ye-ah! Ye-ye-ye-ye-ye-ah!"

No one in the audience looked impressed at all. Only two people clapped their hands in politeness, and one person coughed. "My eyes!" Patrick exclaimed softly in a fake agonizing tone as he widened his eyes. Pretending that they were melting. Wendy had to place both hands on her mouth to keep herself from bursting out in laughter.

"And now a word from our own Mabelangelo!" Stan handed her the microphone.

"It's Mabel." She walked towards the edge of the stage. "Thank you for coming! I made this sculpture with my own two hands," she proclaimed, holding up her hands. "It's covered in my blood, sweat, tears, and other fluids!" This cause everyone to become disgusted. Dipper even face-palmed himself. Mabel chuckled a little. "Yeah. I will now take questions! You there!"

That person she pointed to turned out to be the old man from the lake. "Old Man McGucket, local kook," he introduced himself. Patrick noticed a strange bald person behind the audience, but ultimately ignored it. "Are the wax figures alive? And follow-up question, can I survive the wax-man uprising?"

Mabel looked unsure about that question. "Um…Yes!"

Wendy leaned to Patrick and whispered, "We'll not survive."

"We may go down, but we'll go out in a blaze of fiery glory," he responded in a deep, dramatic tone, making her laugh.

"Next question," Stan exclaimed.

"Toby Determined, _Gravity Falls Gossiper_. Do you really think this constitutes a wonder of the world," Toby asked, holding a turkey baster as if it is a microphone.

"Is your microphone a turkey baster," Dipper asked, pointing to it.

"It certainly is—"

"Next question," Stan said, interrupting him.

"Shandra Jimenez, a _real_ reporter," stood a tall, tan woman with brown hair, wearing a light blue shirt with a slightly darker blue-gray vest and a black skirt that goes down to her knees. "Your flyers promised free pizza with admission to this event." She held up the flyer. "Is this true?" Afterwards, the audience became upset and started yelling at Stan.

"Ooooo…" Patrick nervously said. "That's what I forgot."

"That was a typo," Stan quickly responded before waving at them. "Good night, everyone!" He threw down a smoke bomb, as the people started to get angrier. Patrick and Wendy stared at the crowd nervously, before they saw Stan running pass their table. Taking the admission fee with him.

The audience was now furious and began to leave the Mystery Shack. One overweight man with a T-shirt that said _Free Pizza_ left in misery. One woman kicked a chair that had an elderly woman away, before grabbing an empty chair and smashing it on the ground.

"In your _face!"_ Manly Dan shouted in fury when he punched a pole that held up the sign for the reopening. Soon everyone had left the area, leaving the people who worked at the Mystery Shack in wide-eyed shock.

"I think that went well," Mabel said when she and a surprised Dipper walked to the side the of the admission stand.

"What the hell are you talking about?! That was a complete disaster," Patrick exclaimed, looking at her like she was crazy.

"But at least everyone will remember this today for the rest of their lives," Mabel responded with positivity.

* * *

The nighttime came to Gravity Falls and the Mystery Shack was closed for the day. "Hot pumpkin pie! Look at all this cash," Stan exclaimed, running his thumb over the edge of the bills, while the grandkids were standing around doing their own thing. "And I owe it all to one person—" Mabel looked at him with a cute and innocent expression, believing that he was to appreciate her. However, Stan ended up pointing to Wax Stan. "—this guy!"

"And…?" Patrick said, as Mabel jokingly punched her Grunkle in the stomach.

"Ooh!" Stan yelped before chuckling and giving her a noogy. "Yeah, you too, ya little gremlin," he said, before pushing her away. "Now you kids wash up. We got another long day of fleecing rubes tomorrow. Go, go!" The twin and Patrick went out of the room and went up the stairs. Stan sighed and leaned on the statue. "Kids."

Later after that and Stan was sitting in his recliner with Wax Stan, watching Duck-tective.

" _Well, duck-tective, it seems you've really quacked the case,"_ the Constable said, using a bad pun.

" _Don't patronize me,"_ the duck quacked.

Stan laughed at the TV. "Stupid duck! Well, I'm gonna use the john," he said and stood up from the recliner. "You need anything?"

Wax Stan didn't say anything.

The real Stan laughed like the statue made a really funny joke. "I love this guy! Don't you go nowhere," he said and left the room, leaving Wax Stan all alone.

Meanwhile, in the upstairs bathroom, Patrick, Dipper, and Mabel were in their sleeping clothes and brushing their teeth at the same time. Dipper was closer to the mirror, Patrick was behind him, and Mabel was sitting on the bathtub. The oldest stopped brushing for a moment and looked closely at his own reflection. He took his toothbrush out and ask, "Do I look like Stan to you guys?"

"Kinda, but not really," Dipper said. "Your nose and ears is smaller."

"And you look less Grunkily," Mabel said.

"No... No... Noooooo!" The three of them heard Stan screaming from downstairs. They looked at one another and went downstairs.

When they arrived, they saw Stan sweating and shaking as he stared at something downwards in horror. "Wax Stan! He's been... m-murdered!" He exclaimed and gestured to the headless body of Wax Stan lying on the floor.

The clock bonged three times, intensifying the traumatic scene.

Mabel fainted, with Dipper catching her. Patrick, also freaked out, pulled out his phone and dialed 911. "Hello, police? This is an emergency!" He exclaimed with urgency. "There's been a murder…vandalism…a murderous-vandalism? I'm not sure really."

* * *

Within five minutes, a single police car was parked in front of the Mystery Shack. The two officers, Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland, were inside the house. The Pines family and the two officers were in the room where the body laid, as Stan explained to them what had happened. "I got up to use the john, right? And when I come back, blammo," he exclaimed, mimicking a chop before gesturing to the statue. "He's headless!"

Mabel kneed down at her artwork, looking at it sadly and placing a hand on it. "My expert handcrafting... besmirched. Besmiiiirrrched!" She cried into her hands as Dipper went to comfort her.

Patrick looked sympathetically at her before turning to the cops. "Who would do something like this," he asked.

"What's your opinion, Sheriff Blubs," Deputy Durland asked his partner with a notebook and pen out.

The Sheriff turned to the Pines family. "Look, we'd love to help you folks, but let's face the facts... this case is unsolvable," he said before taking a sip of his coffee.

"WHAT?!" The four of them yelled in disbelief at them.

"You take that back, Sheriff Blubs," Stan exclaimed angrily.

"You're kidding, right," Patrick demanded with a glare, pointing at the officers. "You two barely did anything! There must be an answer to all of this."

"He's right," Dipper said. "There must be evidence, motives. You know, I could help if you want."

"He's really good," Mabel told them, supporting her brother. "He figured out who was eating our tin cans!"

"All signs pointed to the goat," Dipper concluded, pointing a finger.

"Yeah! Let us help out," Patrick asked the officers. "This was Mabel's creation and we're not gonna stop until we know who did Wax Stan in."

However, instead of a yes or a no, they were met with mockery. "Oooh! Would you look at what we got here!" Sheriff Blubs nudge his partner before gesturing to Patrick and Dipper "The city boys think they're gonna solve a mystery with their fancy computer phone!"

"City boooy!" The thin police hollered. "City _booooooy_!"

"You are adorable!"

Dipper looked stunned at the two, while Patrick looked annoyed. "Adorable," the male twin asked. The two cops started laughing, which made Dipper gritted his teeth in anger.

"Look, P.J.'s, how about you and your brother leave the investigating to the grown-ups, okay?" Sheriff Blubs told them and getting a high-five from Deputy Durland, mistaking Patrick for his brother and not his cousin.

Just then their walkie talkies turned on and a man said, _"Attention, all units. Steve is about to fit an entire cantaloupe in his mouth. Repeat, an entire cantaloupe!"_

"It's a 23-16," Deputy Durland exclaimed in excitement.

"Let's move," said the Sheriff, before the two of them ran out the house laughing.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Patrick said in a dry tone, gesturing to the bumbling cops. "Gravity Falls' finest."

"That's it," Dipper exclaimed in anger before turning to his sister. "Mabel, you, Patrick and I are going to find the jerk who did this, and get back that head. Then we'll see who's adorable." He then sneezed in a very cute way.

"Aww, you sneeze like a kitten," Mabel said, Patrick tried to hold his laughter in.

Patrick cleared his throat and then said, "Alright, you two. Tomorrow, we're solving this mystery!"

* * *

The next day came and the three younger Pines had set up their crime scene in the living room. Mabel, who was taking photographs of Wax Stan's headless body, had nailed toilet paper all over the walls and on the entrances to the room, making them like police tape. Dipper had brought out a small bulletin board with photos of suspects tacked on it.

"Alright you two, listen up," Patrick said seriously with his arms crossed, taking command of the investigation, as they all looked down at Wax Stan. "We've got a big day ahead of us, so let's not waste any time. Someone…in this town has beheaded Wax Stan, and it's up to us to find out who did it and where the head is."

"How are we going to do that," Mabel asked, taking another picture.

"Well, there were a lot of unhappy customers at the unveiling," Dipper said, turning to the bulletin board and squinting at the photos on it. "I've compiled a list of names that there, and came up with a few names that were the unhappiest. The murderer could have been anyone."

"Yeah! Even us!"

"That's unlikely, but in this town, anything is possible," Patrick said, scanning the floor for any clues.

Dipper brought out the Journal and started flipping through the pages. "Ghosts, zombies, it could be months before we find our first clue," he said.

Patrick continued to scan around the wax sculpture, before spotting a pair of shoeprints in the carpet where the head used to be. "Hey guys, check it out," he said to them, before pointing to the prints.

"Footprints in the shag carpet," Dipper exclaimed.

However, as Patrick looked at the other prints, he saw that one shoe had a hole in it. "That's weird," he said. "One of them has a hole in it." He got up and followed the prints. Passing Mabel, he saw that they led to the back of the recliner. When he looked behind it, the teenager gasped.

"What is it," Dipper asked, as he and Mabel looked at his back with concern.

Patrick didn't answer them, only stood up, turned around to face them, and held up the murder weapon: an ax.

* * *

They were now in the gift shop, where Wendy and Soos were working. They explained to them what they were doing before handed the ax over to the big man. "So, what do you think," Dipper asked him while Mabel squinted her eyes at him.

Soos held up the ax and looked at it carefully, before said, "In my opinion: this is an ax."

Patrick sighed and said to clarify, "We know that, Soos. This ax tells us that the murderer used the ax to cut off Wax Stan's head. Now, all we need is to figure out who would have had one."

The twins thought for a moment before gasping and looked at each other. "The lumberjack," they exclaimed simultaneously.

Patrick snapped his fingers with a grin. "Of course!"

"Wait," Wendy said, putting down the magazine she was reading and pointed at them with a scowl. "Are you guys accusing my dad of murdering Wax Stan?"

"No, no, no! We're not accusing anyone of anything," Patrick quickly assured her. "Wait, _Manly Dan's_ your _dad_?" He shook his head. "Never mind that! The point is he was _furious_ when he didn't get that free pizza."

Mabel backed him up. "Furious enough, for _murder!_ "

"Look you guys, I know my dad can be a little extreme," Wendy told them.

"Punched a wooden pole in two," Dipper stated.

"…Okay, he's extreme, but I'm telling you he didn't do it."

"We just want to make sure, okay," Patrick said, walked up to the counter with his hands in his pocket. "We're just going to ask him a few question and if he isn't the murderer, we'll leave him alone. But first, do you know where he's at?"

Wendy looked away for a hesitant moment, before sighing. "Yeah, he hangs out at this crazy intense biker joint downtown," she said.

"Then that's where we're going," Patrick said, before heading towards the door with Mabel and Dipper following.

"But I'm coming with you," Wendy suddenly said, walking out from behind the cash register, making the three stop to look at her.

"Really?" Patrick was a little stunned that she wanted to come along, but understood sense they were going to interrogate her dad.

"He's my dad, Patrick," she firmly told him. But then smiled. "Besides, I've always wanted to join you guys on your adventures."

"Uh…" Patrick looked at his cousins, silently asking them what to do. They shrugged. He looked back at Wendy and said, "Okay. But, just be warned that thing might get…weird."

"Dude, this is awesome," Soos said. "You guys are like: The Mystery Crew!"

Patrick, the twins, and Wendy stared at Soos. Patrick then frown at him. "Don't call us that," he said before opening the door for them to exit out of the Mystery Shack.

When they walked out into the outdoors, they saw Stan struggling to pull a coffin out of his car. He stopped for a moment before noticing his grandkids and Wendy walking past him. "Hey, give me a hand with this coffin, will ya," he ordered, getting them to stop and look at him. "I'm doin' a memorial service for wax Stan. Something small, but classy." The old man then pulled the coffin again and was successful in getting it out of the car.

"Sorry, Grunkle Stan," Dipper said, "but we have got a big break in the case!"

"Break in the case!" Mabel exclaimed.

"We're heading to the town right now to interrogate the murderer."

"We don't know that Manly Dan's the murderer, you two," Patrick told them. "We got to play this smartly and not accuse everyone. We're going to ask him what he knows."

"We have an ax!" Mabel brought out the ax brought out the ax from Dipper's bag. She then made the _Psycho_ movie screeching sound. "REE, REE, REE!" Patrick quickly grabbed it from her and placed it in his own backpack.

Stan place a hand on his chin and thought for a moment. "Hm, it seems like the kind of thing that responsible parents wouldn't want you to do," he said, before smiling. "Good thing I'm an uncle." He then placed a foot of the coffin, raised a shaking fist, and shouted to the sky: "Avenge me, kids! AVENGE MEEE!"

* * *

In the town, the two teenagers and twins were standing on standing on the sidewalk staring at their destination on the other side of the road. "There it is, you guys," Wendy said, gesturing to the building. "The Skull Fracture."

"You sure he's here," Patrick asked. They suddenly heard a man roared from within the building, before an arcade game machine came flying out of the roof came crashing down right in front of them.

The four of them stare at the crushed and destroyed machine with wide eyes, is it linked oil and then caught on fire. "Oh yeah, he's here," Wendy said, before walking across the street towards the Skull Fracture, as the Pines followed behind. Walking towards the entrance of the building, they saw that guarding the entrance was a large, muscular thuggish man with dark skin and many tattoos.

He was looking at an ID, before handing it back to its owner. "Sorry, but we don't serve miners," he told an actual miner.

"Daaaannnnng'nab it!" The miner cursed before spitting on the road and walking away. " _Eughh!_ " The four walked up to the man.

"Hey Tats," Wendy greeted him casually. "Is dad in there?"

"We're here to interrogate Manly Dan the lumberjack for the murder of Wax Stan," Mabel said as she and Dipper held out fake IDs that've been from arts and craft and put together in under ten seconds. Mabel jingled hers, making the groggily-eyes move. "Dedledle-e."

Patrick faced palmed in disbelief. There was no way in hell this was going to work.

However, to his surprise, Tats shrugged his shoulders. "Works for me," before opening to door for them.

When they walked inside, Patrick, Wendy, Dipper, and Mabel were meant with blasting heavy meddle music and the sight of large, burly men fighting. The teenage male scanned the room for Manly Dan, before spotting him on the other side of the bar, playing and arcade game. He motioned for the other to follow, before walking towards their suspect. They walked through the people in the bar, before stopping after passing a man lying on the floor. "He's resting," Mabel said.

Wendy looked and raised an eyebrow. "And bleeding," she said.

"Alright, me and Wendy will talk to Manly Dan, and you two will stay here and try and not get into trouble," Patrick told them.

"But I wanted to interrogate him," Dipper said.

"IN YOUR FACE!" They heard Manly Dan yell, before he ripped the arcade game out of the ground then threw it. The machine sailed over their heads before crashing into the wall.

"Dipper that's a terrible idea," Patrick told him. "Just try to blend in, ok?" He and Wendy turned and walked towards Manly Dan.

"You got it, Pattycakes," Mabel said, before climbing onto a chair and began talking to a large, scary-looking biker. "Hey there, fellow restaurant patron! Bap!" She patted him on the arm, making him growl menacingly at her.

Dipper stared at her and the man before said, "Yeah, I'm going over to Patrick." He began walking over to where his cousin and Wendy were, not wanting to be left out of the investigation, only to bump into a large woman in a dress walking by. "Oh, sorry about that, ma'am."

The woman and her friends turned around to him. Only to turn out they were man in dresses! "Who are you calling 'ma'am', little girl," demand the guy with a glare.

Dipper gulped in fear.

"AAAAAGHHHH!" Manly Dan roared as he played against an arm wrestling arcade game. The third one he's played today, and probably the third to be destroyed.

"Hey, dad," Wendy said when she and Patrick walked up to him. "This is Patrick and he was wanting to talk to you."

"Hello, Manly Dan. I work with your daughter at the Mystery Shack, and I wanted to ask you a few questions about the murder of Wax Stan," Patrick said, feeling a little nervous. It wasn't because he's the father of his crush, but because he was _Manly Dan_. "Where were you last night?"

"Punchin' the clock," Manly Dan responded.

He raised an eyebrow. "You were at work."

"No, I was punchin' that clock!" The man pointed to something. Patrick and Wendy followed the direction and saw a broken clock outside.

Wendy sighed and pinched her nose in exasperation, while Patrick thought for a moment. "10 o'clock, the time of the murder," he said before reaching into his bag. "So, I guess you've never seen _this_ before?" He showed him the ax.

"Listen little man!"

"I'm an inch taller than your daughter—"

"—I wouldn't pick my teeth with that ax," Manly Dan interrupted him, pointing at the ax. "It's left handed! I only use my right hand, the MANLY HAND!" He ripped the machine's arm off and started beating the machine with it.

Dipper walked back into his cousin, looking fearful. "Time to go," he exclaimed frantically. Patrick looked up from him and saw the cross-dressed surround them. Glaring angrily at Dipper.

"Uh, want do we do," Wendy asked nervously. She may be tough, but not enough to take on this many opponents. Patrick looked around to figure out how to get themselves out of this situation. He then looked at Manly Dan still beating up the game. An idea popped into his head. It's risky, with the possibility of his limbs being ripped out of their sockets and Wendy hating him, but if they were going to make it out of this, he had to go through with it.

"Manly Dan!" He said to him, getting the big man's attention. "I just want to say I'm sorry about this."

Manly Dan looked at him in confusion. "Sorry about wha—"

 _POW!_

Patrick punched him into the face.

Every biker in the bar gasped in shock when he did that. The cross-dressed men gasped too. Dipper stared at his cousin with wide eyes and jaws hanging, thinking that he'd lost his mind. Wendy was stunned at first, before looking at Patrick with an impressed smile. He's possibly the first person to ever punch her dad in the face.

"BAR FIGHT!" Patrick yelled.

The bar patrons were silent for a second, before suddenly a large fight broke out.

Manly Dan growled before ripping off his shirt, and then jumping into the chaos. It was utter madness. Chairs and tables flying and breaking everywhere, and men got punched.

Tyler Cutebiker soon ran into the scene. "Get 'im! Get 'im!" He chanted enthusiastically before giggling.

Patrick, Dipper, and Wendy stared at the madness. "I think we should go," the older Pines said, before they started running to where Mabel was.

Outside of the destruction, Mabel and the biker were now playing with was a cootie catcher. The two of them looked at it while counting off. "3, 4, 5, 6."

Mabel looked at the cootie catcher and gasped, making the biker look anxious and cover his mouth with his hand. "Your wife is gonna be beautiful," she told him.

The biker pumped his fist with a grin. "Yes."

Patrick quickly ran up to her. "Time to go," he exclaimed before grabbing her and continued running with Dipper and Wendy.

"But will she love me?!" The biker asked desperately.

Mabel quickly did the cootie catch. "Yes! She'll love you very much," she shouted to him as they ran out the door of the bar. "Love her…!"

The biker had tears running from his eyes with a happy expression. He stood from his chair and yelled, "Hey everyone, guess what!"

Everyone stopped fighting and glared at him.

"My wife's gonna be beautiful," he sobbed loudly, "and she'll love me!"

The other bikers were silent, before cheering. "HURRAY!"

* * *

"Manly Dan isn't the murderer, but he was able to tell us that the ax is left-handed," Patrick told them as they walked down the street.

"That means all we have to do is find our left-handed suspect and we've got our killer," Wendy said, hitting her left fist in her right hand.

"Right, so here's a list of our suspects." Dipper handed each of them a small list of people. "I say we split up to cover more ground. I'll take the west side of town. Patrick will take the north. Wendy, east. And Mabel, south."

"Oh man, we are on fire today!" Mabel exclaimed as they stopped and she started making laser noises. "Pa-zow, Pa-zow, Pa-zow!"

"Let's find that murderer," Patrick said, before all four of them pumped fists, before their montage began.

 **[Play music:** _ **Working for the Weekend**_ **by Loverboy]**

At a garbage area, Mabel looked for McGucket. When she spotted the loony elder, she waved at him. McGucket turned towards her and waved back at her with his right hand, which had a baby alligator biting on it. She checked him off as right-handed.

Standing in front of the door of a house, Dipper wore his hat backwards and placed a fake mustache on. Carrying a package for the person in the house. He knocked on the door and the Pizza Guy came out. The male twin handed him the form for him to sign, which he did. But he used his right hand. Getting excited, the Pizza Guy went to grab the package, only for Dipper to take it and leave.

Wendy stood on the sidewalk and whistled to the Angry Lady on the other side of the street. Then she turned towards her, the Ginger teenager threw a baseball at her. The Angry Lady caught it with her right hand and crushed it. Wendy stared at her with wide eyes before smiling nervously, raised her hands up, and back away.

Patrick went to a man name Mikey R.'s house. He knocked on the door, only to be surprised when he came to the door with both hands in casts. His name is just crossed out.

Name after name, the lists they had got shorter. No one had the murderer.

 **[End music]**

Dipper looked at the last name on his list and gasped. He quickly grabbed his phone and called the others. "There's only one person left on this list, and it all adds up," he exclaimed with excitement.

* * *

After the sun went down, Officers Blubs and Durland's police car rolled up to the Gravity Falls Gossiper building. The two policemen with their nightsticks exited out of their car, the twins, Patrick with his crowbar out, and Wendy with the ax. They surrounded the front door when Sheriff Blubs said to them, "You kids better be right about this or you'll never get the end of it."

"The evidence is irrefutable," Dipper said with confidence.

"It's _so_ irrefutable," Mabel said.

"I gonna get to use my match stick!" said Deputy Durland in excitement.

"You ready?" Sheriff Blubs pumped him up. "You ready little fella?"

"Woo, woo!" They excitedly poked each other with their police batons.

Patrick sighed at the idiot cops before exclaiming, "Let's do this!" He charged at the door, jumped and kicked it with both feet. Smashing the door open.

The two policemen quickly entered the single office room with flashlights on and point at the suspect. "Nobody move! This is a raid," Blubs warned the person.

That person turned out to be Toby Determined. "Aaaahh!" He yelled in shock before falling off his chair onto the floor. "What is this? Some kind of raid?"

"Derp!" Deputy Durland knocked over a lamb, causing it to smash on the floor.

"The gig is up," Patrick exclaimed as he and the other three walked up to him. "We know you're the one who murdered the wax body of Grunkle Stan, Toby Determined!"

"That's right, and you're under arrest," Dipper told him.

"You have the right to remain impressed with our awesome detective work," Mabel said, before she and her brother high-fived.

"Gobbling goose feathers," Toby exclaimed as he stood up. "I don't understand!"

"Cut the act, man," Wendy snapped with a glare. "Dipper has you all figured out."

"You were hoping that Grunkle Stan's new attraction would be the story that saved your failing newspaper," Dipper explained. "But when the show was a flop, you decided to go out and make your own headline."

"But you were sloppy," Patrick picked up after him, "and all the clues pointed to a shabby shoed reporter who was caught _left_ handed."

"Toby Determined, you're yesterday's news," Mabel proclaimed.

"Bad news for you, buddy," Wendy said.

Toby was silent for a second. "Boy, your little knees must be sore... from _jumping_ to conclusions," he said, before dancing. "Hachacha! I had nothing to do with that murder."

"Wait, what?!" Patrick exclaimed in shock, as the other three were just as stunned.

"Then where were you on the night of the break-in," Sheriff Blubs questioned him.

"Ehh..." Toby gulped nervously and pulled at the neck of his shirt.

He inserted a VC tape into the TV and rewind it, before starting it. The recording began with showing him at the closet door. _"Finally, we can be alone,"_ Toby said in the recording, opening the closet and pull out a cardboard cutout of Shandra Jimenez, _"cardboard cutout of TV news reporter Shandra Jimenez!"_ He then started kissing it, disturbing and disgusting the cops, kids, and teenagers.

"Ah, sink," exclaimed Patrick, the twins, and Wendy at the same time.

"Timestamp confirms," Blubs stated, seeing that the time of the recording was the same of the murderer. "Toby, you're off the hook. You freak of nature."

"Hooray!" The newsman cheered.

Patrick face showed his frustration before throwing his boonie hat on the floor. "Goddammit! You mean to tell me we did all this for nothing?!" he exclaimed in anger.

"Whoa, Patrick, calm down," Wendy said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay."

"How," he asked her. "Wax Stan's head is still missing and we've been running all over town on a wild goose chase."

"But, but it has to be him!" Dipper said with desperation. "Check the ax for fingerprints!"

Wendy handed them the ax and they began checking for any sign of fingerprints. "No prints at all," Sheriff Blubs told them.

"No prints," Dipper asked with a hand on his head. They really didn't have anything on anyone.

"Hey, I got a headline for you: city kids waste everyone's time," Deputy Durland said, making his partner and Toby laugh at the four of them. Patrick and the twins looked at each other, embarrassed.

"Boy, I'd be pretty embarrassed if I was you four," Toby said.

Patrick glared at him only to notice something beyond disturbing in the recording. "Oh my God! He's taking off his pants! TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!"

* * *

The four of them returned to Mystery Shack, having failed their mission to get back Wax Stan's head. They were now in the wax figure room for the funeral that Stan prepare to the sculpture. He went to the stage and stood at the podium, the coffin with Wax Stan in was beside him. Before him were a bunch of chair set up, with the twins, Patrick, Soos, Wendy, and the other wax figures as the audience.

"Kids, Soos, Wendy, lifeless wax figures, thank you all for coming," Stan said. Soos blew his nose in a tissue as he sobbed a little. "Some people might say it's wrong for a man to love a wax replica of himself."

"They're wrong!" Soos shouted, jumping out of his chair and pointing.

"Easy Soos," Stan said, before turning to the wax replica of himself. "Wax Stan, I hope you're picking pockets in wax heaven." He stopped to wipe his eyes. "I'm sorry, I got glitter in my eye!" He started crying into his hands as he ran out of the room.

Soos was the say way and cried as he ran out the room. "Ohhhhh duuuude..."

Wendy looked at the clock and sighed. "Look, I better get back home," she said, standing up and walking to the door. "See you guys tomorrow."

"Later," Patrick said, watching her leave the room.

Dipper then sighed. "Those cops are right about me," he said, looking dejected.

"Dipper, we've come so far, we can't give up now," Mabel said, while holding the ax.

Dipper got out of his chair and walked towards the coffin. "But I considered everything: the weapon, the motive, the clues," he said.

Patrick walked up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "I guess there are some mysteries you can't solve," he said before behind smiling at him. "Besides, I think we were great working together."

His cousin looked up at him before smiling. "Thanks Patrick."

"Don't mention it, squirt," he said, ruffling his hair. Patrick then looked at the headless body in the coffin. But then notice some about his shoes. "Wax Stan's shoe has a hole in his it."

"All the wax guys have that," Mabel said, working up to join them with the ax. "It's where the pole thingy attaches to their stand dealy."

However, Dipper's eyes widened in shock. "Wait a minute, what has a hole in its shoe and no fingerprints," he asked.

Patrick thought for a moment, look between the shoe of Wax Stan and the ax that took his head. No one in Gravity Falls murdered him. But what if it wasn't anyone in town?

Or any person?

His eyes filled with shock and horror. "Holy shit," he said before looking at him in panic. "You guys, I know who did it! The murderers are—!"

"Standing right behind you."

The three Pines kids slowly turned around and stared in horror when they saw the wax sculpture of Sherlock Holmes standing there. Suddenly, all the other wax figures came to life. Rising for the chairs like zombies in the horror movie.

"Wax Sherlock Holmes!" Dipper gasped.

"Wax Shakespeare!" Mabel gasped.

"Wax Coolio?" Patrick gasped.

"Wha s'up Holmes?" said the Wax Coolio to Wax Holmes.

Wax Lizzie Borden reached out and took her ax from Mabel. "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" she said repeatedly. Patrick quickly puts himself between his cousin and the living wax, before the three of them back away. Stopping when they're backs were against the coffin.

"Congratulations, my three amateur sleuths," Wax Holmes said, "you have unburied the truth, and now we're going to bury you." He pointed his magnifying glass at them, making the Pines widened their eyes in fear. "And bravo to you the most, Dipper Pines. You've and your cousin discovered our little secret." He brought out the head of Wax Stan from his coat, before turning to the other wax figures. "Applaud, everyone, applaud sarcastically."

All of them clapped in a normal way.

"Uh, no, that sounds too sincere. Slow clap," he said. They clapped slower. "There we go, nice and condescending."

"This is insane," Patrick exclaimed in shock.

"How is this possible," Dipper asked, shocked by all that's happening. "You're made of wax!"

"Are you... _magic,_ " Mabel asked, hoping that was the case.

"Are we magic?" Wax Sherlock laughed, then looked at the other wax figures. "She wants to know if we're magic!" He stopped laughing and slammed his fist on the coffin, startling them. "We're CURSED!"

"Cursed!" The other figures chanted. "Cursed!"

"Cursed to come to life whenever the moon is waxing," Wax Holmes said with his back now turned to them.

"I don't understand," Patrick said. "Why would you cut off Wax Stan's head?"

"That's because we mistaken it for our real target, Stanford Pines," the wax detective said, shocking the Pines kids. "It all began when your uncle bought us many years ago at a haunted garage sale, ignoring the terrible price that came with us. He stole us and soon, the Mystery Shack Wax Collection was born. By day, we would be the playthings of man. But when the moon was up and your uncle went to sleep, we would rule the night. It was a charmed life for us cursed beings... That is, until your uncle closed up shop. We've been waiting ten years to get our revenge on Stan for locking us away... But we got the wrong guy."

"So, _you're_ trying to murder Grunkle Stan for real?!" Dipper exclaimed, as the kids looked at them in horror.

"You were right all along, Dipper!" Mabel exclaimed. "Wax people _are_ creepy!"

"Enough!" Wax Holmes turned towards them. "Now that you know our secret, you must... _die_." His eyes rolled back in his head, as the other did the same with growls. They started to slowly approach them, forcing Patrick and the twins to back up towards the table Stan set up for snacks.

"What do we do, what do we do," Mabel asked, frightened.

"I don't know," Dipper exclaimed.

"These guys must have some kind of weakness," Patrick exclaimed, bring out his crowbar. The twins noticed the stuff on the table behind and started throwing things at them. It didn't do much, as Wax Genghis Khan approached them.

In a desperate move, Dipper grabbed the full coffee maker from the table and splashed the drink onto him. Wax Genghis Khan screamed in pain as his face melted. Patrick gasped and said, "They can't stand extreme heat." He then yelled and charged at the wax Mongolian Empire. He then swung the crowbar into his head, break it off his shoulders and sending smashing into the wall. The body then fell over like a dead man.

"Quick, grab the candles!" The twin nodded and grabbed the electric candles behind them and smile as they held them like swords. The remaining wax people flinched and backed away.

"Anyone move and we'll melt you into candles," Dipper said, as they forced them back.

"Decorative candles!" Mabel backed him up.

"You really think you can defeat us," Wax Holmes questioned them as he and the other wax people glared.

Patrick responded by saying, "Not a problem."

"So be it...attack!"

The wax figures charged at them. The Pines kids charged.

Wax Lizzie Borden swung her ax at Patrick, but he blocked it and broken her left leg with a kick. She fell on one knee, giving the teenager the chance to bring his crowbar down on her head hard, slamming it and destroying her.

Wax Robin Hood ran at Mabel, but she cut off his legs, making him fall, before decapitating him. Wax Shakespeare ran towards her from behind, but she noticed him and cut off his arms with the candle, before scaring him away with it. Suddenly one of the severed arms wrapped around her neck and started to strangle her. Struggling to get it off, Mabel went to a door and repeatedly closed it on its fingers.

"Interview _this_ , Larry King!" Dipper said, before cutting off Wax Larry King's head.

"My neck," Wax Larry King exclaimed, as his headless walked away to find its head. "My beautiful neck!"

Wax Groucho Marx tried to grab the electric handle and ended up melting his own hand. "Jokes on you, Groucho!" Dipper cut him in half.

"I've heard about a cutting remark, but this is ridiculous," the famous comedian joked, as his top half started sliding off of the lower half. "Hey, why is there nothing in my hand?" His body fell off.

"Dipper! Watch out!" Mabel exclaimed to her brother.

The male twin turned around to see Wax Sherlock Holmes approaching him and putting Wax Stan's head on the horn of a rhino on the wall. "Alright. Let's get this taken care of," he said while grabbing a sword hanging on the wall. He swung the sword and smacked the candle out of Dipper's hand, causing it to fall on the floor and break.

"Dipper!" Patrick exclaimed, while fighting Wax Richard Nixon. He quickly broke off his legs with his weapon, before running towards his cousin.

Wax Holmes brought his sword over his head and brought it on Dipper, but Patrick was able to make it in time and blocked the attack with the crowbar. He then delivered a punch into the wax man's face.

"Go help your sister deal with the other wax guys," he order him. "I'll deal with the detective."

Dipper nodded and ran to where his twin was, as she was getting surrounded by the other wax people. He pushed Wax John Wilkes Booth into the flaming fireplace, before grabbing a poker that had its head in the fire and began fighting with his sister against the remaining people.

Wax Holmes stood up and charged at Patrick. The teenager held the crowbar with both hands, one near the ends of the red tool, and started blocking all the wax person's attack. He was soon pushed out of the room.

Pushed up the stairs, he was walking backwards into the Attic Floor. Patrick attempted to hit him, but Wax Holmes blocked all his attacks. Holmes went on the offensive again, and soon, he had the teen corner against the wall.

"Once your family is out of the way, we'll rule the night once more," he proclaimed and raised his sword.

Patrick's eyes looked for a way out, before spotting the window. Sherlock charge at him, and he quickly ducked his head before the sword could stab into it. "Not gonna to happen," he exclaimed and spent a kick into his stomach. The wax figure was sent off his feet and onto his back, giving Patrick enough time to get to the window.

He opened it and stepped onto the roof. Patrick turned to the right and started climbing up the steep slope of the roof. Wax Holmes wasn't far behind and exited out of the window. "Come back here, you delinquent," he demanded, but the teen didn't stop.

Patrick quickly climbed onto the sign of the Mystery Shack, and near fell off when he almost lost his balanced. He looked down and saw it was a long ways down to the ground. He cautiously walked across the sign when Wax Holmes climbed on and the two clashed between their sword and crowbar.

Wax Holmes tried to cut down Patrick, but Patrick jumped back. Causing the sword to hit the sign's _S_ in _Shack_. The big red letter fell to the ground.

"Even if you had the brain power of your cousin, Dipper, you really think you can outwit me? I'm Sherlock bleeding Holmes," he proclaimed. Patrick glanced at the sky for a moment and then jumped onto the tall part of the sign that said _Mystery_ , before pulling himself up. "Have you seen my magnifying glass?! It's enormous!"

Patrick jumped back onto the roof, behind the sign, but the tiles came loose and he was sliding down the slope. Thinking quickly, he hooked his crowbar onto the dormers, where the chimney was, and climbed onto it before hiding behind the chimney.

He breathed heavily to catch his breath. Patrick looked out of the corner of the chimney to see if Wax Holmes was there. But he saw nothing.

Patrick then heard a step behind him and quickly turned around, only to be kicked in the stomach by Wax Holmes. His back hit the roof and slides near the edge of it. He was about to get up when the wax man pointed his sword at his face. "Any last words," Sherlock asked and raised his sword.

"Yeah," Patrick responded with a smirk. "You a morning person?"

"I'm a—?" He stopped when drips of melting wax fell onto his shoulder. "What?!" He exclaimed in shock, before gasping when he looked up and saw his hand was melting. He dropped the sword and looked to the horizon, only to gasp in horror.

The sun was rising.

"No," he answered, beginning to melt.

"I may not have Dipper's brain power, but I'm capable of thinking on the fly and adapting to any situation," Patrick boasted, standing back up.

"Outsmarted by a child with a camo boonie hat?! NO!" Wax Sherlock screamed, before turning towards Patrick and charging at him. Patrick responded by punching the wax person in the face, making him stumble back. Wax Holmes wasn't watching where he was stepping and when he reached the edge of the roof, he fell over.

The melting Wax Sherlock Holmes screamed on his way down, before splatting complete all over the ground when he landed.

Patrick stared down at the waxy for a moment before saying, "Well, that's case closed."

* * *

Back in the wax room, Dipper and Mabel were able to defeat all the wax people, and were now disposing their solid remains.

Dipper threw it the last of Wax Queen Elizabeth into the fires and wiped his hands together. Nodded proudly at a job well down. A part of him was concerned about his cousin, but he knew that Patrick was more than capable of handling himself. "Any more, Mabel," he asked over his shoulder.

"Just arms and a head," Mabel responded, carrying over the arms of Wax Shakespeare, as the head of the wax poem remained on the floor.

"Though our group be left in twain," Wax Shakespeare said in a poetic tone, as Mabel threw his arms into the fireplace and Dipper grabbed his head, "man of wax shall rise agayn!"

Mabel stopped her brother and asked the head, "Y'know any limericks?"

"Uh..." The wax head looked at them with uncertainty before said, "There once was a dude from Kentucky..."

"Nope!" Dipper said and threw the head into the fire. Patrick then came into the room, getting the twins attentions.

"Patrick! You're okay!" Mabel cheered as she ran over and hugged his legs, with Dipper walking to them.

"Yeah, put I don't deserve all the credit," Patrick told her before taking Wax Stan's head off rhino's horn. "You solved the mystery after all, Dipper." He placed the head like a basketball to his cousin, who caught it with his hands.

"I couldn't have done it without my sidekicks," Dipper said.

"No offense Dipper, but you're the sidekick," Mabel informed him.

"Same to you, Mabel," Patrick said with a smirk and his arms crossed.

"What? Says who? Are-Are people saying that," Dipper asked nervously. "Have you heard that, Mabel?"

A second later and Stan walked into the room, only to be shocked by the destruction and damage done to it. "Hot Belgian waffles! What happened to my parlor!?"

"Your wax figures turned out to be evil, so we fought them to the death," Mabel explained.

"I decapitated Larry King," Dipper said.

"And I broke Nixon's legs," Patrick added.

Stan stared at them before laughing. "Ha ha! You kids and your imaginations!"

"On the bright side, though, look what we found," Dipper said, tossing Stan the head of Wax Stan.

"My head!" He cheered with a laugh. "Ha ha! I missed this guy! You done good kids! Alright, line up for some affectionate noogie-ing." The three of them voice their denial, but that didn't stop Stan, as he kneeled down and noogied the twins. Making him and the two laugh. He was about to do Patrick when they heard a police siren outside.

They looked through a broken window and saw Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland drive up to the window. "Solved the case yet, boy," the sheriff asked. "I'm so confident you're gonna say no, that I'm gonna take a long, slow sip from my cup of coffee." He then started drinking the cup.

"Don't you have anyone else to bother," Patrick yelled at them.

"It's okay, Patrick," Dipper said, before showing the cops the head. "Because the answer is yes.

"Blu Blu Blu—" Blubs choked on his coffee before splitting it into his partner's face. Durland screamed in pain, before splitting the coffee in Blubs. He screamed and split again in Durland's face, who returned the split. "It burns! It burns!" They then drove away.

The four Pines members laughed at them. "They got scalded," Stan laughed out, before they heard the car crash.

Patrick then looked down at the twins and asked, "So, did you two get rid of all the wax figures?"

"We are ninety-nine percent sure that we did," Mabel exclaimed.

Patrick squinted his eyes at them in a suspecting way, but then smiled. "Works for me!"

However, unbeknownst to them was that staring from behind the vent, Wax Larry King's head watched them. He laughed sinisterly, knowing that they had no idea he was still alive. He stopped when he heard squeaking and saw that a rat walked up to him. "So you're a rat. Tell me about that," he said, before the rat ripped off his ear and ran off.

"Hey, get back here!" He turned around and started hopping after it, going into the air vents of the house. "I'm hopping! I'm hopping after a rat that stole my ear!"

* * *

 **And that is the third chapter of "Weirder Things."**

 **Just to let you guys know, I'll be working on this fanfic for about five more chapters, four canon episodes and one original chapter. After that, I'll work on the other stories.**

 **I've decided to have Wendy tag along because I wanted her to be on an adventure with the Pines before the Inconveniencing chapter. I didn't want her to experience the wax people coming to life because her first encounter with the supernatural in the show is the Inconveniencing and I wanted to save that.**

 **For the Inconveniencing, I plan on doing a retelling of that episode. It's going to be a parody of a** _ **Courage: the Cowardly Dog**_ **episode (not telling). However, I'm thinking of making that a Patrick adventure chapter, without the twins. What do you think? Include Dipper and Mabel in that episode, or leave them out?**

 **Also, in this story, Dipper doesn't have a crush on Wendy. The reasoning for this is because I've seen the same one-sided, young boy and teenage girl, love interest in a lot of Disney and Nickelodeon cartoons and shows. I know that it's important to Dipper's character arc in the show, but I'm just so tired of seeing that same trope, as most of the time I see it being handled poorly. Hope you understand.**

 **Finally, I've begun another crossover series: "Become ONE." It's a requested story and it's a crossover of** _ **Voltron: Legendary Defender**_ **and** _ **Titanfall**_ **. I worked on that first chapter for a while and while it's a really long one, I'd appreciate it if you gave it a look.**

 **That's it for today. Please be sure to favorite and follow if you like the series. If you're already are, then please leave a review of the chapter, and PM me if you have a question or anything.**

 **Thank you for reading, and have a good day!**


	4. The Hand That Rocks the Mabel

The sun was beginning to set in Gravity Falls, as Stan was finishing up a tour with one final scam. "For tonight's final illusion, we have the incredible 'Sack of Mystery,'" he said to the tourist, holding up an average potato sack with a question mark stitched on it to the tourists. "When you put your money in, it mysteriously disappears!"

The tourist bought it, saying positive things as they put their money into the bag.

Meanwhile, in the living room, Patrick was sitting on the floor with Dipper, while Mabel and Soos sat on the recliner's armrests. They were watching TV show called _Tiger Fist. "The tiger was badly injured in the explosion, but we repaired him with a fist,"_ said the narrator, showing a tiger having a human arm come out of its left side. The title appeared.

The four of them cheered for the tiger, with Dipper saying that it's a hero. Patrick chuckled and then said with a smile, "This show sucks."

On TV, the tiger punched itself, before the title appeared again. "Tiger Fist! _...will return after these messages,_ " the narrator said, before the TV showed a commercial that started with a person's hands releasing a group of doves.

"Hey, look. It's that commercial I was telling you guys about," said Soos, so Patrick turned up the volume.

" _Are you completely miserable,"_ a man's voice said, showing a mountain view as the sun raised.

It then showed a man sobbing, with his face in his hands. "YES!" he shouted.

" _Then you need to meet—"_ the scene changed to show a person's silhouette, with a question mark on it and the word _Gideon_ , before the voice whisper, _"—Gideon."_

"Gideon?" Dipper wondered out loud.

"What's so great about him," Patrick asked.

" _He's a psychic."_

"Aroo?" Mabel made an odd sound and tilted her head.

" _So don't waste your time with other so-called "man of mystery."_ The screen showed a clip of their outhouse, before Stan came out of it with a piece of toilet stuck to his slipper. The word _FRAUD_ was stamped over him. _"Learn about tomorrow tonight at Gideon's Tent of Telepathy."_ The screen then showed a blue and white tent with a colorful wooden pentagram with an eye in its center on top. Then a long subtext was speeded through. _"Voidwhereprohibited,noC.O.D.' 'vealwayslovedyoubutneverhadthegutstosayit."_

"Wow, looks like Stan's got himself some competition," Patrick said with a grin.

"I'm getting all curiousy inside," Mabel said.

"Well, don't get too curiousy," said Stan when he walked in and flipped up his eyepatch. "Ever since that monster Gideon rolled into town, I've had nothin' but trouble."

— **(flashback)—**

 _A couple days ago,_ _Stan driving in a parking lot looking for a spot. He spotted an open parking spot and attempts to back up into it, only for Gideon's tour bus to quickly pull in first. While a crowd of cheering fans were outside, Stan made a fist and growled, "Gideon!"_

— **(flashback ends)—**

"Well, is he really psychic," Mabel asked him, as Stan took off his suit.

"I highly doubt it," Patrick said, as he and Dipper stood up.

"I think we should go and find out," Dipper said.

"Never!" Stan snapped, taking off his tie and unbuttoning his white shirt. "You're forbidden from patronizing the competition. No one that lives under my roof is allowed under that Gideon's roof!"

They watched him leave the room before Patrick said, "he does know that tents don't have roofs, right?"

"I think we just found our loop hole... literally!" Mabel held up a string with a loop in it. Dipper looked unimpressed at her pun while she said, "Mwop mwop!"

" _So come down soon, folks. Gideon is expecting you,"_ the TV said, which kind of left Patrick unsettled.

* * *

 **{Play** _ **Stranger Things**_ **theme by Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein}**

 **[0:00-0:03]**

 _At the beginning of the intro, there is nothing but blackness._

 **[0:03-0:08]**

 _Then about three seconds later, a bunch photographs started falling from above in slow motion._

 **[0:08-0:11]**

 _Getting a closer look at one of the photographs, while others twirled and spun in the background in slow motion, shows the town of Gravity Falls from a distance._

 **[0:11-0:14]**

 _Another picture shows the Mystery Shack during the night time, with bright lights shining thought the windows._

 **[0:14-0:16]**

 _One photo shows a thundering sky that had a large, flying creature's shadow being seen through the dark clouds. The camera then focuses on a picture behind the previous one, showing large claw marks on a tree trunk, as more photos were seen falling._

 **[0:16-0:19]**

 _Three photos are focused on now, one showing an angry Gnome, the second showing something that resembles the Long Ness Monster, and the third show a dinosaur tooth trapped in amber._

 **[0:19-0:25]**

 _The camera shows the cluster of photographs continuing to fall, before angling downwards to show all of them lying on a flat surface, collecting in a pile._

 **[0:25-0:40]**

 _The camera then gradually moves back to show more of the photos landing. After the last of the photos were on the surface, the camera moves upwards, displaying nothing but blackness again._

 **[0:40-45]**

 _Then the title of the story, including the red circle with triangle, appeared in a flash of light._

 _ **WEIRDER THINGS**_

 **[0:45-end]**

 _It then disappeared, before the chapter title appeared._

 **Chapter Four**

 **The Hand That Rocks the Mabel**

* * *

Later on that day, Patrick and the twins arrived at the Tent of Telepathy. Many other people had arrived at the tent, passing by a large, slightly portly, balding man with long brown sideburns going down his face wearing a salmon floral button up shirt with a collar, a white undershirt, a straw hat, tan pants, and white pointed shoes. "Step right up there, folks. Put your money in Gideon's psychic sack," he said, holding up a blue sack that was almost the same as Stan's scam, only it had a star on it.

And just like the Sack of Mystery, they put their money in it as they entered the tent.

"Whoa, this is like a bizarro version of the Mystery Shack," Dipper said as he and they sat down in the large tent. In front of them was a stage with the currents drawn closed.

"I know. They even have their own Soos." Patrick pointed to a passing maintenance worker who looked very much like their friend, only his name tag said Deuce.

A moment later the lights dimmed and the crowd started cheering. "It's starting! It's starting!" Mabel whispered loudly. Two search lights turned on and moved all over the room, before landing on the closed currents.

"Let's see what this _monster_ looks like," Dipper said, crossing his arms.

As the lights shined on the currents, a large, board shouldered silhouette walked onto the stage. However, when the currents rolled back, they were met with the sight of a short, stout kid with white pompadour hair bigger than his head, an upturned nose, blue eyes, and three freckles on each of his cheeks wearing a baby blue suit, a black shirt, an American flag pin on the left side of his collar, with brown, polished shoes, and a jade amulet on his bolo tie. "Hello America! My name is Li'l Gideon," Gideon said before clapping his hand, making doves fly out of his hair and the crowd cheered.

Patrick laughed hard for a moment after seeing Gideon. " _That's_ Gideon?! Stan's arch nemesis?!"

"But he's so wittle," Mabel said in a cute way.

"Ladies and gentlemen, it is such a gift to have you here tonight! ...Such a gift. I have a _vision_. I predict that you will soon all say, 'aww.'" Gideon turned around and then looked at the audience with a cute pose.

"Aww," said the crowd. That also included Mabel.

Patrick stared at him with a deadpanned expression. "You're kidding."

"It came true," she whispered in amazement.

"What," Dipper asked her with a frown. "I'm not impressed."

"You're both impressed!" Mabel insisted.

"The only thing I'm impressed with Mabel is that that Stan would be afraid of a little kid with that kind of hair," Patrick said, gesturing to Gideon.

"Hit it, Dad," Gideon gleefully ordered his dad, the man from outside, who was stationed at a piano.

The dad started playing making Patrick cringe. "Oh great, he's gonna sing," he said, before leaning back in the seat and placing his hat over his eyes. "Wake me up when he's done."

Gideon took off his cape and threw it to the audience. A woman caught it and was happy, only for other women to attack her. Gideon then started singing and dancing.

" _Oh, I can see, what others can't see"_

" _It ain't some sideshow trick, it's innate ability"_

" _Where others are blind, I am futurely inclined"_

" _And you too could see, if you was widdle ol' me!"_

" _Come on, everybody, rise up! I want y'all to keep it going!"_

Gideon grabbed a hold of his amulet when he said that last part. One by one, the people in all the rows of seats stood to their feet. When it got to the Pines kids, they all stood up too, even Patrick, who was startled awake. "Wha—?" He looked down and saw he was standing. "How did I—?"

"How did he—?" Dipper questioned too.

"Keep it going!" Gideon exclaimed before singing again and pointing to someone. _"You wish your son would call you more."_

The person turned out to be an old woman with a few cats in her lap. "I'm leaving everything to my cats," she exclaimed, shaking a fist. The cat meowed with her and shook her claw.

" _I sense that you've been here before,"_ Gideon sang, pointing to Sheriff Blubs, who was wearing a shirt with Gideon's face on it and holding various other Li'l Gideon merchandise.

"Oh, what gave it away," he asked with glee, but Patrick and Dipper weren't too impressed by the obvious give away. Gideon then came up to Mabel, as everyone else clapped with him.

" _I'll read your mind if I'm able"_

" _Something tells me you're named Mabel_ "

Gideon leaves, and Mabel gasped. "How'd he do that?"

"Mabel, your shirt has your name on it in bright colors," Patrick exasperatedly told, as Gideon got back on the stage.

" _So welcome all ye... to the Tent of Telepathy"_

"And thanks for visiting... widdle ol' meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

The song ended with a big sign with his name came down a lit up, with fire cracks going off. Gideon was sweating and panting heavily to catch his breath. "Oh... oh my goodness," he said, while the audience cheered wildly. He took out a bottle of water and drank from it, before waving at the people. "Thank you! You people are the real miracles!"

"Woo!" Mabel cheered, as Dipper had an eyebrow raised and Patrick frowned lightly. "Yeah!"

* * *

"Well, that was a waste of time," Patrick said as they were the last people to exit out of the Tent of Telepathy.

"I know right," Dipper said smile as they stopped. "That kid's an even bigger fraud than Stan! No wonder our uncle's jealous."

"Oh, come on," Mabel said. "His dance moves were adorable! And did you see his hair? It was like, whoosh!"

"You're too easily impressed," Patrick said with a smirk, rubbing her hair.

"Yeah, yeah!" Mabel laughed as they began laughing and walking away from the tent. However, Gideon looked out from behind the tent flaps at them. Patrick felt as though someone was watching him. So he stopped to look back at the tent. Gideon was no longer there. Confused for a moment, the teenager shrugged his shoulders and turned back around to catch up with the twins.

* * *

Next day at the Mystery Shack, Dipper was at the kitchen table drinking water and Patrick was leading back on the recliner, reading a book. Mabel ran in and went to her brother with her face and ears covered in sequins. "Check it out, Dipper! I successfully bezazzled my face," she exclaimed before struggling to blink her eyes, causing some sequins to fly off. "Blink!...Ow."

"Is that permanent," Dipper asked her.

"Please don't let it be," Patrick groaned, not taking his eyes off the book as he turned to the next page. "The last thing we need is to take you to a hospital."

Mabel frown. "I'm unappreciated in my time..."

Just then the doorbell rang. Patrick signed and put down his book. "I'll get it," he declared before walking to the door. He opened it up but saw no one. He looked to the left and then to the right with a raised eyebrow. Is someone playing another prank on the Shack again?

"Down here," said a voice. Patrick looked down and saw Gideon smiling up at him. "Hello friend."

The teenager looked down at the small kid for a moment. "Uh, hi," he said unsurely. "Can I help you?"

"I was wondering if this is the residence of Mabel Pines," Gideon asked.

"Yeah." Patrick his crossed his arms and looked at him with a scowl. "What's it to ya?"

"Well, I was wonder if I can be able to talk to her," he said, before making a cute face. "Please~?"

Patrick glared down at him. Not impressed with the cute-face persuasion attempt he was making. Apart of him wanted to say no and close the door on him, but he didn't wanted to be rude. In the end, he sighed and called into the house. "Mabel, someone wants to talk to you," he said before walking back to the recliner.

When Mabel got to the door, she gasped upon seeing Gideon. "It's 'wittle ol'' you!"

Gideon laughed nervously and scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, my song's quite catchy," he said. "Now, I know we haven't formally met, but after yesterday's performance, I just couldn't get your laugh out of my head."

"You mean this one," Mabel asked before laughing obnoxiously.

"Oh, what a delight!" Gideon giggled. "Now, when I saw you in the audience, I said to myself, 'Now there's a kindred spirit! Someone who appreciates the sparkly things in life.'"

"That's totally me," Mabel exclaimed, and laughed for a moment, before coughing up some sequins that landed perfectly on Gideon's suit, bedazzling it.

"Enchanting." He whispered. "Utterly enchanting."

"Who's at the door," Stan's voice asked from inside.

"No one, Grunkle Stan!" Mabel lied.

"I appreciate your discretion," Gideon said. "Now, Stan's no fan of mine. I don't know how a lemon so sour could be related to a peach so sweet."

"Gideon!" Mabel was faltered. "Aha ha!"

"What do you say we step away from here, and chat a bit more? Perhaps in my dressing room?"

"Oh! Makeovers. Yahoo!" Mabel poked his stomach hard. Gideon laughed for a moment, before saying 'Ow' while rubbing his stomach.

* * *

About an hour later, Gideon brought Mabel back to the Mystery Shack after showing her his dressing room. When she enter the house, she saw Dipper on the recliner reading the journal and Patrick siting at the foot of the chair, playing his Nintendo DS.

"Mabel, where have you—" Patrick turned to her to give her a scolding, only to be taken back by the good amount of makeup she had on her face, her hair neat with a pink bow it, and had long, pink nails. "Whoa, Jesus! What the hell happened to you?"

"Hey, guys," Mabel greeted them positively, before showing them her nails. "What's goin' oooon?"

"Sheesh, Mabel, what's going on with those fingernails," Dipper asked, "you look like a wolverine."

"I know, right?" Mabel playfully roared while pretending to scratch something. "I was hanging out with my new pal, Gideon. He is one dapper little man."

"Mabel, I don't trust anyone who's hair is bigger than their head," Dipper said, pointing to his head.

"Oh, leave him alone," she said with a stern look. "You and Patrick never want to do girly stuff with me; you guys and Soos get to do boy stuff all the time!"

"What do you mean?"

"Hey dudes," Soos said, walking into the room was a pack of hot dogs, "you guys ready to blow up these hot dogs in the microwave one by one?"

"Am I!" Dipper exclaimed in excitement before he and Soos ran to the kitchen.

Patrick stood up to follow them, wanting to get in on the attack, but stopped and turned back to Mabel. "Just be careful, alright," he said before joining Dipper and Soos.

* * *

Later in the afternoon, Mabel and Gideon were hang out again. This time they were sitting on the roof of a warehouse, set on the edge of cliff.

"Whoa, the view from your family's factory is nuts!" She said, sitting with Gideon as the two of the looked out at the town. "Good thing we both brought our—"

"—Opera glasses!" they exclaimed simultaneously, bringing out a pair of opera glasses. The two kids looked at each other through them before laughing together.

They pointed their opera glasses down at Gravity Falls and stared at it. After a second, Gideon put them down and glanced at Mabel. "Mabel, when I'm up here lookin' down on all those little ol' people," he said before his voice turned to a sinister hiss, as he looked at the town with malevolent grin, "I feel like I'm king of all I survey." His voice returned to normal. "I guess that makes you my queen!"

"What? You are being so nice to me right now, quit it!" Mabel smacked him in the stomach.

"I can't quit it," Gideon told her, placing a hand over his heart. "I am speaking from the heart."

"From the where-now," she asked, confused and unsure how to think of what he was going with this.

"Mabel, I've never felt this close with anyone. So, so close," he told her before reach out a hand and stroked Mabel's hair while giggling.

At this point the girl Pines twin was starting to feel uncomfortable and pushed his hand away. "Look Gideon, I um..." Gideon reached again for her hair and giggled, but Mabel quickly pushed his hand away again. "I like you a lot, but let's just be friends," she said.

"At least just give me a chance," Gideon begged with a smile. "Mabel, will you do me the honor of going on a date with me?"

"A play date?"

"Mmnn." He shook his head.

"A shopping date?"

"Mmnn. It'll just be one li'l ol' date, I swear on my lucky bolo tie," he said, place a hand on said tie.

"Ummm." Now Mabel was really feeling uncomfortable. It's not that Gideon wasn't a nice kid in her mind, he just wasn't what she wanted for a boyfriend. Something like a hot, muscular, vampire/werewolf, guitar player, lifeguard, and blonde boy was her ideal future boyfriend (like that was gonna happen). Gideon then used the puppy-eyes. She was sure that after a while of using it on Patrick and Grunkle Stan would make her invisible to it.

But she was wrong.

"Okay, then... I guess..."

"Mabel Pines, you have made me the happiest boy in the world," Gideon exclaimed and hugged her.

Mabel hugged him back, but felt something. "Are you sniffing my hair?"

 **(The next day)**

"You did what?!" Patrick exclaimed to Mabel, as she and Dipper were playing against each other on a videogame. "You actually agreed to go on a date with a boy you barely know!? Wait—" He stopped for a moment, realizing that that would be normal for her. "You actually agreed to go on a date with Gideon!?"

"It's not a date-date, it's just, you know, I didn't want to hurt his feelings and so I figured I'd throw him a bone," she said.

"Mabel, guys don't work that way," Dipper said, looking at her with a teasing smile. "He's gonna fall in love with you."

Mabel scoffed. "Yeah, right. I'm not _that_ lovable," she said in denial, pushing up her hair. She then shot Dipper in the game and won. "Kaboom! Yes!"

"Okay, we agree on something here," Dipper stated, before the doorbell rang.

"Just promise me you wouldn't let him talk you into something you don't want to do," Patrick said as he walked to the door. He opened the door, only to scream in shock and fall to his butt when a horse busted through and stepped halfway into the doorway. He looked upwards to see Gideon riding on it was a tall cowboy hat over a helmet. "What the hell, Gideon!?"

"I'm sorry, but I've come to take m'lady on a night of enchantment!" Gideon proclaimed, not even looking at him.

Mabel smiled nervously. "Oh boy."

* * *

The place that Gideon took Mabel to was an aquatic-themed restaurant, with the interior having a very sea-like look to it. Mabel and Gideon are sitting together at a large booth that was the best table in all of the restaurant.

"I can't believe they let us bring a horse in here," Mabel said, as the horse Gideon rode on wondered around the restaurant on its own, eating off of peoples plates.

"Well, people have a hard time saying no to me," Gideon said confidently, putting his feet on the table.

A waiter then walked up to the table and poured a refill of water into his glass. "Ah, Monsieur Gideon! Ze feet on ze table! An excellent choice!"

Gideon held up a finger to him and turned his head away. "Jean Luc, what did we discuss about eye contact," he asked.

"Yes, yes, very good!" Jean Luc quickly looked up and backed away from the table.

"I've never seen so many forks!" Mabel said, before picking up her glass of water and looked amazed at it. "And water with bubbles in it? _Ooh lala, oui, oui!"_

"Oh! _Parlez vous francais?!"_ Gideon said to her in French.

Mabel opened her mouth to say something, but not came out. "...I have no idea what you're saying."

* * *

Back at the Mystery Shack, Patrick and Dipper were hang out with Wendy and Soos in the gift shop. The day proved to be another boring Monday, and they were just doing their own things.

"Hey, hey!" yelled Stan as he walked over to them, holding up a newspaper. "What the jackal is Mabel doing in the paper next to that crazy pickpocket Gideon?" He pointed to a picture of Gideon and Mabel holding hands.

"Oh, yeah, it's like a big deal," Wendy said, holding up her phone to show Stan the screen. "Everybody's talking about Gideon and Mabel's big date tonight."

"WHAT?!" Stan yelled in rage, before glaring at the newspaper, crushing it in his grip. "That little shyster is dating my great niece!?"

"I wonder what the new name will be for the power couple," Soos said while reading a Gideon magazine. "Mabideon? Gideabel?" He gasped. "Magidbeleon!"

Stan furiously threw the crumpled newspaper on the floor and walked out of the room. "I didn't know! I didn't hear about it and plus, I told her not to," Dipper lied to his Grunkle as he walked back into the gift shop, wearing his normal suit, and made his way to the exit of the house.

"Yeah, well it ends tonight," he said, before grabbing the door handle and pointed his cane at them. "I'm going right down to that little skunk's house; this is gonna stop RIGHT now!" Stan then opened the door and slammed it hard behind him.

"What do you think he's gonna do," Soos asked, as Patrick walked over and grabbed the newspaper.

"With our luck, he'll yell at the kid and steal something for him," he said, looking closely at the picture of Gideon and Mabel. Seeing that while Gideon was loving the attention from the media, Mabel looked a little uncomfortable. "I'm more worried about Mabel. There's just something fishy about Gideon, or my name's Shlinken Hoffer... and it's not."

* * *

Meanwhile, Stan's car speeded past the house of Gideon, before skidding to a halt as he hit the brakes and backed up to park in front of the house. He got out of the car and opened the wire fence, then marched across the garden to the front door. "Gideon, you little punk! Open up!" He shouted, banging on the door and looked through the peep hole. He read the sign on the door that says _'Please Pardon This Garden'_ "I will pardon NOTHING!"

He smacked the sign down. The door opened and Gideon's dad's glare face appeared just a foot away from Stan's. The man then smiled. "Why, Stanford Pines! What a delight," he said.

"Out of the way Bud," Stan rudely said, pushing him to the side and looked into the house. "I'm looking for Gideon!"

"Well, I haven't seen the boy around, but since you're here, you simply _must_ come in for coffee!" Bud then pulled Stan into the house, with Stan dragging his heels into the floor to prevent himself to going in. Bud then closed the door.

"But-but I came-"

"It's imported," Bud told them him with a hand on his shoulder. "All the way from Colombia!"

"Wow... I went to jail there once," Stan said. He then whistled as he looked around the inside of the house. It was much nicer than the Mystery Shack, that's for sure. "Some digs you got here." He then walked up to a sad clown painting. "Oh, this. This is beautiful."

"Now, I hear that your niece and my Gideon are, well, they're singin' in harmony, lately so to speak," said Bud as he set down a cup of coffee on the table for Stan, who was sitting on the sofa, before sitting in a recliner.

"Uh, yeah, and I'm against it," Stan said, before knocking a pillow off the sofa. "Nyah."

"No no no. I see it as a fantastic business opportunity. Yes, the Mystery Shack and the Tent of Telepathy." Bud then guided Stan across the house. "We've been at each other's throats for far too—lemme get that." He quickly ripped down a picture of Stan on a dart board. "We've been at each other's throats for far too long, yes we have. This is our big chance to set aside our rivalry and pool our collective profit, you see."

Stan instant grinned and clicked a cash register. He was going to take money from it, but closed it. "I'm listening," he said.

* * *

"…And so I said 'Autograph your own head shot lady,'" Gideon told Mabel his joke and laughed, having finished his dinner.

Mabel nervously laughed and said, "Yeah..." She moved her fork to the lobster on her plate, only for it to pinch at it.

"Mabel, tonight's date was a complete success. And tomorrow's date promises to top this one in every way!"

"Whoa whoa, you said just _one_ date," she stated, "and this was it."

"Hark! What a surprise! A red crested South American rainbow macaw," Gideon said, before the macaw flew in and landed on his extended arm. The sudden appearance of it made Mabel scream in shock and grab the lobster to hold it close to her. "..two three four..."

"MABEL! WILL YOU- ACCOMPANY- GIDEON- TO- THE BALLROOM DANCE- THIS- THURBDAY." Gideon shook it violently. "THURSDAY!" It then coughed up a pink letter and flew away. This caused the other costumers of the restaurant mutter about the two.

"Oh, so adorable."

"Gideon's got a girlfriend."

"They're expectin' us," Gideon said, holding up the letter. "Please say you'll go."

Mabel heard the people say 'Aw' as they gathered around the table. She looked back at Gideon and said, "Oh, Gideon, I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to say-"

"I'm on the edge of my seat," Sheriff Blubs said.

"This is gonna be adorable," said Tyler.

"If she say's no, I'll die from sadness," said an old woman.

"I can verify that that will indeed happen," a doctor stated.

The chattering people that wanted Mabel to go through with going on the date were now weighing on her. She has to make a choice and needs to do it now.

* * *

After the date, Mabel returned to the Mystery Shack. Dipper was reading the journal, while Patrick playing a videogame. When she walked in, her brother noticed and put down the journal. "Hey. How'd it go," he asked, prompting Patrick to pause the game and looked at her.

"I don't know..." She responded, as she puts the lobster into the fish tank.

"Is that a lobster," Patrick asked.

"Well, at least it's over and you'll never have to go out with him again," Dipper said and was about to take a sip of his soda when he notice how sad she seemed. Putting her finger on the glass of the tank, and the lobster touched where it was.

"Mabel? It's over, right," Patrick asked sternly, walking to her with his arms crossed. "Mabel, tell us the truth."

Mabel finally couldn't take it anymore and flailed her arms. "BLAARRGG! He asked me out again and I didn't know how to say no."

"Mabel, I told you not to let him force you into something you don't wanna do," the teenager told her, "You need to say it firmly and clearly. Like this how I do it."

"It's not that easy, Patrick," she exclaimed. "And I do like Gideon, as a friend slash little sister, so I didn't want to hurt his feelings! I just need to get things back to where they used to be. You know, friends."

* * *

Out at night in the middle of the lake, Old Man McGucket was rowing a boat for Gideon and Mabel, who were seated inside of it. "Boat in the night! Boat in the night!" McGucket sang before laughing.

"Hah, you know I thought dancing was gonna be the end of the evening, right," Mabel asked nervously.

Gideon leaned forward and grabbed her hands. "Don't you want this evenin' to last, my sweet?"

"NO!" Mabel shouted, recoiling her hands out of his grasp, before claiming herself. "I mean yes. I mean I'm always happy to hang out with a friend, buddy, pal, chum, other word for friend..."

"Pal?" McGucket said.

"I already said pal, uh, mate?"

"How about _soul mate?_ " Gideon whispered. Before she could understand what was happening, fireworks shot up into the before exploding. Show the name 'Mabel' within a heart.

"Well, you can't say no to that," McGucket said.

Mabel grabbed her face in dread, as this was moving too fast.

* * *

When Mabel got back to the Mystery Shack, she quickly made her way to the living room. However, when she entered, she failed to notice Dipper waiting for her in the recliner. "Patrick saw the fireworks," he said, making Mabel let out startled yelp as she turned to him. "He thought you might need a brother to talk to." Dipper got out of the chair and walked to her. "What in the heck happened on that date?"

"I don't know!" Mabel exclaimed in a state of panic. "I was in the friend zone, and then before I knew what was happening, he pulled me into the romance zone. It was like quick sand! Chubby quicksand!"

"Mabel, come on. It's going to be okay," Dipper said, trying to ease her worries. "It's not like you're gonna have to marry Gideon."

"Great news, Mabel," said Stan when he entered the room, wearing a white shirt that said ' _Team Gideon'._ "You have to marry Gideon!"

"WHAT?!" Mabel yelled at him.

It's all part of my long term deal with Buddy Gleeful. There's a lot of cash tied up in this thing. Plus, I got this shirt." He gestured to his _'Team Gideon'_ shirt, but noticed something else. "Ugh, I am fat."

Mabel, finally losing it, screamed and ran out of the room.

"Bodies change, honey!" Stan called after her. "Bodies change..."

Patrick was in their room reading when Mabel startled him by slamming the door open and running to her bed. She then hid her head, arms, and legs in her sweater before lying on her side. Her head resting on the pillow. He looked to the door and saw Dipper about to walk in. The teenager quietly gestured with his hand for him to leave, then pointed to himself before pointing to Mabel.

Dipper understood what he meant and nodded, before closing the door behind him. His cousin will cheer her up.

Taking in a deep breath, Patrick put his book down and walked over to Mabel's bed. He stopped for a moment, looking down at her, before sitting next. "Mabel?"

"Mabel's not here," she moaned. "She's in sweater town."

"Are you gonna come _out_ of sweater town?" Patrick asked, only to be met with a whine and shaking of her head. "Do you want to talk about it, from sweater town?"

"…I wanted Gideon to understand that I only wanted to be friends, but then…"

"The firework?"

"He wanted to be my soul mate." She sound like she wanted to cry now. "But now I have to marry him."

"Marry?!" Patrick exclaimed, stunned. "Says who?"

"Grunkle Stan."

"Stan," he growled and clenched his fists in anger. What the hell did he get them into this time? He looked back down at Mabel and saw her now trembling. This made him upset even more. "Alright, that's it! Mabel, this is getting way out of control! If you can't break up with Gideon, then… I'll do it for you."

Mabel poked her eyes out of her sweat and looked at him. "You will?" Patrick nodded with a smile. Mabel then jumped on him and hugged him tightly. "Oh, thank you thank you thank you!" She grinned from ear to ear.

Patrick sighed with a smile and patted her head. "The things I do for love."

* * *

Mabel took Patrick and Dipper to the restaurant that she was to meet Gideon at, the Club. It was a very fancy restaurant located near the edge of a cliff. The name comes from it being shaped like the club suit from a regular deck of playing cards.

After telling the twins to stay outside, Patrick enter the restaurant and was met with the sight of wealthy people dining there in big red velvet chairs, and the walls being covered with red curtains.

He scanned around the room before spotting a person with their face hidden behind a playing card themed menu. He narrowed his eyes at it, before a waiter walked over to him. "Excuses me, but do you have a reservation," he asked in a snobby tone, but Patrick pushed him to the side.

"No," he responded before going over to the table, "and I'm not going to be here long."

Patrick walked over to Gideon before stopping in front of it. "Gideon."

Gideon put down the menu and saw him. "Oh. Patrick Pines, how are you," He asked before nodding his head. "You look good, you look good."

"Thank you, but that's what I'm here for," Patrick stated in a stern tone. "Look, Gideon. We've got to talk. Mabel isn't joining you tonight, because she doesn't want to be your boyfriend. She's kinda weirded out by you, no offense."

Gideon's eye twitched. "So what you're sayin' is... you've...come between us," he said, with his eye twitched even more.

Bad choice of words.

"I've come between— Okay, time to do this the hard way." In a split second, Patrick grabbed Gideon by the neck of his collar and pulled him out of the chair and brought him close to his face, while also bring out his crowbar. "Listen to me, you little fucker," Patrick growled as he glared at the scared boy's face. "You've not only been talking, but forcing my cousin into going on dates with you for the past two days, even when she doesn't want to, making her feel like she doesn't have a choice! And now she has to marry you!? This stops _now_! I didn't come between you two. Mabel told me to tell you that she not interested in you, so stay away from her or I'll rip your head off of your shoulders! Am I understand?!"

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" Gideon exclaimed in panic.

Patrick glared at him for two second before calming down and placing him on the table. "Okay, then," he said, dust off Gideon's shoulders. "I'm sorry it had to come to this." He then turned around and walked away, ignoring all the shocked looks the other people in the restaurant were giving.

When he left through the door, Gideon narrowed his eyes with a fake smile. "I'm sorry too, my friend," he whispered.

Outside of the restaurant, Mabel was tiddling her finger nervously while Dipper had a hand on her shoulder. They then heard the door close and saw Patrick walking up to them. "So how'd he take it," asked Dipper.

"Was he mad," Mabel asked, more concern. "Did he try to read your mind with his psychic powers?"

"Don't worry, Mabel, he's just a kid," Patrick said. "Had to scare him a little, but I think he got the message."

* * *

Later, Gideon was at his house in his bedroom. He stared at himself in the mirror, breathing heavily with rage as he sweated. "Patrick Pines, you don't know what you've done," he said with a glare, before grabbing his tie.

The amulet and hand started glowing a greenish blue aura, before a candle levitated and the light bulbs on his mirror two explode one by one. Then the furnisher and other various items began rising and floating in the air.

"You've just made the biggest mistake of your life," he exclaimed, and then throw everything that was levitating down to the floor, shaming them apart.

Bud then opened the door and said, "Gideon Charles Gleeful, clean up your room this instant!"

"I CAN BUY AND SELL YOU, OLD MAN!" Gideon yelled with a glare, while pointing a finger at his father.

"...Fair enough." Bud closed the door behind him, leaving Gideon to stare at a picture on the door. It showed Mabel, Dipper, and Patrick smiling together, while the teenager hugged them both.

The picture glowed, before it burned Patrick and Dipper out of it. Leaving only Mabel intact.

* * *

The next day, the twins were outside playing with Soos. The large employee tucked some pillows under his shirt before telling the twins, "Hit me, dude!" The twins charged at Soos and jumped at his stomach, causing them to bounce off and land on the ground. They laughed a little. "Feels good."

In the gift shop, Patrick was cleaning one of the cups for sale that were shaped like Stan's head, while Wendy was texting at the cash register. Telephone on the counter rung and she answered it, not taking her eyes off her phone's screen. "Hello…Yeah, he's here…One second," she said before turning to Patrick, "Yo, Pat! It's that Toby guy. He said he wants to talk to you."

Patrick walked over to her with an irked expression. "Don't call me Pat," he told her, making her grin, before taking the telephone and placing it to his ear. "Hello?"

" _Toby Determined, Gravity Falls Gossiper."_

"Oh hey," Patrick responded before scratching the back of his head. "Look, about the whole accusing you of murder thing, we're really sorry for that."

" _Water under the bridge! Say, have you seen anything unusual about this here town since you've arrived."_

"More than I want to see."

" _Then I want to interview you and your cousin, Dipper, about these phenomenas."_

Patrick's eyes widened a little when he heard that. "Oh, sure," he said before listening to the rest that Toby had to say. "Uh huh, uh huh." He then grabbed a paper and pen from the counter and wrote down the address he was given. "412 Gopher Road. Tonight? Got it."

* * *

Toby hung up the phone and looked stern at a person in front of his desk. "There. I did your dirty work. Now it's time you pay _your_ end of the bargain," he demanded, before the person through him a slip of power. Toby gasped and held up the paper. "Ha! Shandra Jimenez's phone number! Bless you, Li'l Gideon!"

Gideon left the office.

* * *

"I mean, finally," Dipper exclaimed with excitement. He and Patrick were walking on a trail at the beginning of the night, was the older cousin looking at the address he wrote down. "I thought nobody would ever ask! I have notes and theories! Will he have records? Camera? Will it be broadcast to the town? To the _world_? Will major news networks be listening in on this?"

"For the last time, Dipper I don't know!" Patrick told him in annoyance. Having to listen to his questions all day since he told him about the phone call. "All I is what Toby told us to do."

He suddenly stopped.

"What the?"

Dipper looked at what he was talking about and saw the address lead them to an abandoned warehouse. Unknown to them was that it was the same one Gideon took Mabel to.

Patrick looked at the address again before sharing a glance with Dipper. Two of them walked towards the warehouse.

When they made it to the doors, Patrick opened one of them and the two walked in. "Hello?" Dipper asked, his voice echoing. There was no one in there. Only various items and shipping boxes.

Patrick sighed. "Should have known this was a prank," he said. Dipper looked down and walked out of the building, with his cousin behind him.

However, right when Dipper was stepping out of the warehouse, the door suddenly slammed shut. Locking him out and his cousin in.

Concerned for his safety, Dipper turned around and banged on the doors. "Patrick? Patrick!" He yelled to his cousin.

Inside the warehouse, Patrick pulled on the handles with all his might. But they wouldn't bog.

Then out of nowhere, the light above him turned on. Patrick turned around and saw the lights turn on one by one, before they stopped at a single swivel chair in the room back end of the warehouse with its back to him. Patrick pulled out his crowbar and got into a fighting pose.

Outside, Dipper went to the side of the building and looked through the window to see what was going on.

The chair spun around to reveal Gideon, sneering at him while petting a doll of himself. "Hello friend." He greeted him.

"Ughh, Gideon." Patrick groaned, dropping his pose.

"Patrick Pines. How long have you've been livin' in this town? A week, two? You like it here?" Gideon played with the arms of the doll before glaring at Patrick. "Enjoy the scenery?"

"Cut the crap, Gideon." Patrick crossed his arms. "I know you brought us here for a reason, so what is it."

"Listen carefully, boy," he said in a threatening tone. "This town has secrets you couldn't begin to comprehend!"

"Is this about Mabel," the teenage Pines asked. "I told you, she's not into you, so get over it!"

"LIAR! YOU turned her against me!" Gideon yelled before getting out of his chair and walked towards him. He grabbed his amulet. "She was my peach dumplin'!"

Patrick sighed and prepared to hit Gideon in the head with the crowbar. Standing as if he was going to swing a baseball bat. "Okay, I see were gonna have to do this the hard way," he said.

Gideon stopped and swiped his right arm across. The crowbar flew out of Patrick's hand.

Dipper ducked when the crowbar broke through the window he was at.

Patrick looked at the broken window in shock, before he glowed and was levitated into the air. Gideon threw him back into a pile of boxes. Patrick groan from the pain he felt from the impact, before looking up at the small boy, who was now standing a few feet away from him. "Readin' minds isn't all I can do," he bragged.

"But-but you're a fake," Patrick said in worry and disbelief. "A phony."

"Oh, tell me, Patrick: is this fake?" Gideon asked before raising his hand skywards. All around them Lil' Gideon merchandises levitated into the air.

"Oh man! What do I do? What do I do?" Dipper said frantically, grabbing his head and looking around for anything to help him help his cousin. He then gasped in realization. "Mabel!" He quickly got out his phone and started dialing his sister's number.

* * *

Meanwhile, Mabel was sitting outside of the Mystery Shack, chewing on her hair as she thought long and hard. A moment later and Wendy walked outside and sat next to her. "How's that hair tastin', buddy," she asked.

Mabel lets go of her hair. "Wendy, I need some advice," she said before looking up at the tall girl. "You've broken up with guys, right?"

"Oh yeah: Russ Durham, Eli Hall, Stoney Davidson..." Wendy counted off all her ex's as Mabel continued with her subject.

"I don't know what's wrong with me. I thought everything was back to normal, but I still feel all gross."

"...Pysche Wirley, Nate Holt, oh, that guy with the tattoos..."

"Maybe letting Patrick do it for me was a mistake." Mabel sighed. "Gideon deserves an honest break up."

"...Danny Feldman, Mark Epston..." Wendy stopped and gasped. "Oh man, I'm not sure I ever actually broke up with him. No wonder he keeps calling me."

"I know what I've gotta do. Thanks for talking to me, Wendy," Mabel said and was about to run off to go get her bike when her cellphone rung. She fished it out of her pocket and answered it. "Hello?...He's WHAT!" Wendy as a little startled by her yell. "Where are you?...Okay, I'll be right over."

As Mabel hung up, Wendy asked, "What's wrong?"

"Gideon's attacking Patrick," Mabel told her, surprising Wendy. "I need to get to them and stop him."

"I still got the keys to the cart," Wendy said standing up. They were about to run to the vehicle when her phone rung. The teen took it out, looked to see it was her ex calling, and then pressed the deny button. "Ignore."

* * *

Back in the warehouse, Patrick ran around, dodging the merchandises thrown at him, while Gideon laughed evilly.

Gideon then picked up Patrick with his powers and threw him hard against a cabinet. The teen laid on the cold floor and groaned in pain while holding his aching shoulder. However, he then noticed the cabinet glowing before tipping over to smash him. Patrick quickly jumped out of the way before he was crushed, before rolling on the floor and coming to a halt when his back and head hit the wall.

"Are you insane," Patrick exclaimed in anger. "You could have _killed_ me!"

"Your cousin will be mine!" Gideon proclaimed before laughing evilly. He then pulled the sting of one of his dolls, making it laugh evilly too.

Patrick growled in anger, before noticing something down and to his right. One of the merchandises was a baseball bat. He punched through the plastic screen and grabbed the bat. With a new weapon, he got up and charged at the evil kid.

"Who's a cute little guy? You are!" Gideon talked to the toy.

" _No you are!"_

Patrick shouted out a shout battle cry as he charged at Gideon, ready to strike him in the skull with the bat. Gideon, however, reacted quickly and levitated the teenager up, making him drop the bat. "Dude, take a hit, will'ya," Patrick exclaimed at him with a glared. "She's never gonna date you!"

"That's a lie." Gideon noticed a box of lamb shears to his right. "And I'm gonna make sure you never lie to me again, friend," he said with menacing, levitates a pair lamb shears out of the box and bringing it up to Patrick.

Outside, Dipper banged against the door frantically with the crowbar and then tried to ram his body into them. All attempts to break into the warehouse were in vain. However, a pair of bright lights shined on him, making him look at where they were coming from.

The shears were now only a foot away from its target, Patrick's neck, when the doors were slammed open when the Mystery Shack's golf cart slammed into them. The sudden _banging_ and rumbling of the vehicle's engine startled Gideon and made him stop the shears. "WHO DARES INTERUPT MY—" He stopped when Mabel stepped out of the cart, while Wendy groaned a little and Dipper walked around the cart.

"Gideon! We have to talk!" Mabel exclaimed sternly.

"M-Mabel. My marshmalla," Gideon nervously said and dropped the shears, making Patrick sighed in relief. "What are you doin' here?"

"Dude," Wendy said, looked at Patrick being levitated. "What the hell?"

"I'm sorry, Gideon, but I can't be your marshmallow," Mabel said, rubbing her left arm. "I needed to be honest and tell you that myself."

Gideon looked down. "I-I don't understand," he told her, squeezing the amulet. This caused Patrick to be strangled in midair.

"Uh, Mabel? This probably isn't the best time to be brutally honest with him," said Dipper, watching nervously as his cousin is choked.

"Yeah, yeah! Please," Patrick begged.

"Hey, but we can still be makeover buddies, right?" Mabel proposed, taking both his hands. "Wouldn't you like that?"

"Really?" Gideon asked with big eyes.

Mabel looked at the amulet and before Gideon could guess, she quickly grabbed it. "No, not really!" She exclaimed, pulling off the tie. The powers that held Patrick up were cancelled Patrick fell. Dipper were over to him. "You were like, attacking my cousin, what the heck?!"

"My tie! Give it back!" Gideon tried to grab it from her, only for Mabel to throw it to Dipper, who was standing behind a window.

Dipper caught the amulet. "Ha! Not so powerful without this, are you?"

Gideon screamed and charged at Dipper, before slamming into him, making him drop the amulet and breaking through the window.

"Dipper!" Patrick yelled and reached out of the window to grab his cousin, only to come and inch too short.

Dipper and Gideon screamed as they fell from the edge of the cliff. Gideon started slapping Dipper in the face, before the male twin slapped him back. The two started slapping each other. The white-haired boy slapped him again and Dipper was about the punch him, only to notice the ground getting closer. They started screaming again and braced themselves for death.

However, it never came, and the two were levitated above the ground.

In the air above them as she held up the mystic amulet, Mabel descended to the ground, bringing with her Patrick and Wendy. When they landed, the oldest girl looked at Mabel with wide eyes. "That was the coolest thing I've ever seen," she said.

"You get used to it," Patrick responded, having been bruised and banged up with dirt on his clothing.

Mabel leaned to Gideon, who was held upside down and said sternly, "Listen Gideon, it's over. I will never, ever, date you."

"Yeah!" Dipper said before he and Gideon were dropped to the ground. Mabel dropped the amulet to the ground and stepped aside to let Patrick go forward and bring his crowbar down on the magic piece, destroying it.

"MY POWERS!" Gideon yelled before looking up to see the Pines kids and Wendy glaring down at him. Ready to give him the beating of a lifetime if he didn't get. He stood up and pointed at him, while walking backwards. "Oh, this isn't over. This isn't the last you'll see of wittle... ol' me," he whispered as he walks into the dark forest.

No one said anything, before Patrick simply said, "Geez, what a freak."

* * *

At the Glee residence, Stan and Bud had just finished working out the deal to combine their business. The oldest Pines member has now just finishes signing papers and pushed them to his new partner with a loud sigh. "Ah, this is livin', brother," he said, before knocking on the clown painting.

"From now on it's all name brand foods and clown paintings," Bud said. The two cheered by tapping their glass of water, before Gideon stormed in. "Well, hey, Gideon! Why, look who I—"

He was interrupted after his son stood on the coffee table and pointed at Stan. "Stanford Pines, I rebuke thee! I rebuke thee!"

"Rebuke," Stan asked, raising an eyebrow. "Is that a word?"

"The entire Pines' family have invoked my fury!" Gideon exclaimed in a fit of rage. "You will all pay recompense for your transgressions!"

"What, you got like a word-a-day calendar or something?"

"Apbap bap but-but sunshine?" Bud laughed nervously. "What about our arrangement with Mabel and—"

"SILENCE!"

"Well, uh, I see that he's takin' to one of his _rages_ again," Bud said before standing up and grabbing the contract. "Eh, sorry Stan, I have to side with Gideon on this one."

He then ripped the contract, surprising Stan. "Okay, okay. I can see when I'm not wanted," Stan said, standing up before grabbing the clown painting.

"Stan, I'm-I'm sorry, but I'm gonna need that painting back!" Stan didn't listen to him and took the painting and ran for the open door. "Stan? STAN!"

"TRY AND CATCH ME, SUCKERS!" He yelled, running away.

* * *

Back at the Mystery Shack half an hour later, Stan hung up the clown painting while the twins sat with their cousin on the recliner. Wendy was there a moment ago, before going home for the night. "I coulda had it all." Stan sighed before turning to look at the kids. "What the heck happened to you three?"

"Ah, you know," Patrick said, "just made enemies with Gideon."

"Gideon," Stan growled the kid's name before going over to sit on the dinosaur head next to the recliner. "Yeah, the little mutant 'swore vengeance' on the whole family. Ha, I guess he's gonna try to nibble my ankles or somethin'."

"Oh, yeah," Dipper said, realizing that Gideon was powerless now. "Yeah, how's he gonna destroy us now, huh? Try to guess what number we're thinking of?" He laughed a little.

"He'll _never_ guess what number _I'm_ thinking of," Mabel said. "NEGATIVE EIGHT! No one would guess a _negative_ number."

They all started laughing together, with Patrick starting to pretend that he was their new enemy and grabbed them twins in his 'clutches', making them laugh even louder.

* * *

As for Gideon, he was in his room, creating a model of the Mystery Shack from arts and craft materials. He was finished making a doll of Mabel, before playing with it. "'Gideon, I still love you," he said, imitating her voice. "If only my family weren't in the way.'"

He then grabbed a doll of Stan and placed his head on. "'Look at me. I'm old, and I'm smelly.'"

He then grabbed a doll of Dipper. "'My head is so big because all the empty space it has.'"

Gideon then finished making Patrick's doll before mocking him. "'Hey, what are you gonna do without your precious amulet?'" He then said in his normal voice, "Oh you'll see, boy..."

On his desk, a book was opened that showed a picture of the same mystical amulet he used to have. He then closed it, displaying the cover.

It was Journal 2.

"You'll see…"

* * *

 **And that covers the fourth chapter of "Weirder Things."**

 **I know I said that I'd be doing more chapters before working on my other stories, but I've decided to do "the Inconveniencing" chapter before moving on.**

" **The Inconveniencing" is going to be altered and will be based on an episode from** _ **Courage: the Cowardly Dog**_ **. I may or may not include Dipper and Mabel into the group because I want it to be more of a Patrick adventure chapter.**

 **The reason Wendy was more involved was because while I like this episode, I felt the creators could have had her be more involved in dealing with Dipper. All she did was listed off all her ex's.**

 **That's it for today. Please be sure to favorite and follow if you like the series. If you're already are, then please leave a review of the chapter, and PM me if you have a question or anything.**

 **Thank you for reading, and have a good day!**


	5. Windmill Vandals

It was almost another end to another day in Gravity Falls. Gompers the goat stood on the roof of the Mystery Shack, and baaed. In the Mystery Shack's gift shop, Wendy as leaning against the cashier counter reading a magazine, while Soos was putting up new ideas for sale.

The silent moment was broken when the entrance door was opened. Wendy and Soos looked at who it was and their eyes almost widened.

Standing in the doorway was Patrick, completely covered in black ashes. With a frown on his face, he took in a deep breath and then let out a sigh before walking into the gift shop. Following behind him were his cousins, Mabel and Dipper. Both equally covered in black ashes.

"I can't be you did that, Mabel," he said, turning around to face them. "The guy from the shop said specifically _not_ to get the stupid bird wet! At any cost!"

"Aw, but he looked dirty," Mabel said innocently. "I thought it would be a good idea to give him a bath."

"Which turned it into a giant, murderous bird that did THIS TO ME!" Patrick yelled at her, dust himself off to show everyone the bruises and scratches on his hoodie, shirt, and body.

"That means he likes you!" She responded with a bright, positive smile.

"NO IT DOES NOT!"

"Okay, okay," Dipper said, trying to calm his aggravated cousin. One of the things he almost forgot about Patrick was that he had a bit of an anger problem, which he seemed to have really kept under control most of the time. "I guess that looking for a bird that turns into a monster and explodes when it's killed wasn't a good idea." He then brought out the journal and started flipping through the papers. "However, I'm more than certain that our next mystery will be—"

Patrick quickly took the journal from him. "No, we're not," he said, holding the book up. "We're not going on another adventure tomorrow, Dipper! We've been going on mystery after mystery nonstop for the past two weeks, you two. So I'm putting my foot down and drawing the line." He then pulled out a red sharpie and uncapped it.

He then went over to the calendar on the wall and drew a circle down and all around the Wednesdays on the mouth.

"But that's a circle," Dipper pointed out.

"What, no it's not," Patrick protested, before grabbing a magnifying glass that was on for sale and holding it up to where he began/ended the circle, showing that it wasn't connecting. "It's not connecting, so that means it's a circle."

"Oh."

Mabel asked, "Is this like a game?"

"No, Mabel," Patrick responded. "For now on, starting tomorrow: Wednesdays are now Weirdless-Days."

Wendy chuckled a little at the name. "'Weirdless-Days?'"

"Oh, I know," said Soos, putting away some items. "It's going to be a day where you guys don't go on mysteries and adventures?" Patrick was a little stunned that Soos was able to figure it out so easily, but nonetheless nodded his head. "Nailed it!"

"But that's not fair!" Dipper protested.

"It's completely fair, Dipper!" Patrick countered him. "I'm willing to go on your adventures, but I need a bark once in a while. This town isn't the best place for relaxation you know." Dipper looked down with a frown and rubbed his arm. "I'm just asking for one day of the week to not have something try and kill us. Can we at least agree on that?"

Dipper was silent for a moment before letting out a defeated sigh. "Yes."

"Sure." Mabel shrugged her arms.

Just then, Stan entered from the outside door and called, "Soos! Wendy! Patrick!"

Soos ran up to him, while the Pines teen walked casually over. Soos panted for a moment before asking, "What's up, Mr. Pines?"

"I'm headin' out. You two are gonna wash the bathrooms, right?"

"Yes, sir!" Soos saluted.

"It will be done!" Patrick saluted.

"Absolutely not!" Wendy saluted.

"Ha ha!" Stan chuckled before pointing at them with a stern expression. "You stay out of trouble!" He then closed the door and left. After he left the Shack, Wendy smiled and walked towards the back of the gift store.

"Hey guys! What's this?" Wendy went up to a curtain that was in the back corner of the room and pulled it to the side, unveiling a ladder that lead up to a trap door in the ceiling. "A secret ladder to the roof?"

"Uh, I don't think Mr. Pines would like that," Soos nervously said.

Wendy then started messing with him by doing this bizarre thing her hand and saying, "Huh?"

"Uhhhhh."

"Huh?"

"You're freaking me out, dude!"

"Can we actually go up there," Patrick asked, while being almost amazed.

"Sure we can," Wendy answered before chanting. "Roof time! Roof time!"

"Roof time! Roof time!" Dipper and Mabel chanted with her, as they ran passed Patrick started climbing up the ladder. Patrick smiled and followed after. This might actually be fun.

On the roof, Wendy opened the door, and started climbing over the largest roof that had the Mystery Shack's sign. Patrick and the twins weren't too far behind and when they joined her on the top of it, she gestured to something downwards. "Alright, check it out!"

They looked and were amazed to find a dormer that had a beach chair with an umbrella shading it, a bucket filled with pine cones, and a cooler. "What is all this?" Patrick asked with a grin, as they went down to the dormer.

"Did you put all this stuff up here," Dipper asked.

"I may or may not sneak up here during work, all the time, every day," Wendy said. Patrick eyes widened for a moment before he glared at the back of her head.

"It's that Stan keeps giving me _your_ jobs?" He demanded.

Wendy looked over her shoulder and smirked. "Maybe." She then picked up a pine cone from the bucket and threw it at the totem pole, which had a red target on a piece of paper taped onto it. "Yes!"

The twin wanted to hit the target and started throwing pine cones after pine cones at it. But to no success, only making it half way to the totem pole.

Watching them try and fail, Patrick soon wanted to give it a shot. He walked over to them and grabbed a pine cone for the bucket. He aimed for the target and threw it as hard as he could.

It hit the target deep center.

"Yeah!" Patrick jumped up in victory. However, when the pine cone hit the totem pole, it bounced off it and hits the roof of a car, causing the alarm to go off. "Crap!"

But while Patrick freaked out, Wendy smiled at him. "Dude, double jackpot!" She cheered before holding up her hand. "High five." While she waited to receive the high five, Patrick took a moment to stare at her. Admiring her beauty and the way her long red hair flowed in the wind. "... Don't leave me hangin'."

Quickly snapping out of it, Patrick grinned and gave her the high five.

Wendy then noticed something down on the ground and smiled. "Oh hey, it's my friends," she said, as a blue van pulled up to the Shack.

Rock n' Roll music was heard playing from inside of the vehicle, before an arm waved from out the window. "Wendy!" called a deep voiced person.

Wendy turned to the Pines kids and asked, "Hey, you guys aren't going to tell Stan about this, are you?"

Patrick looked at her with a serious and unconvinced expression. He then smiles and did a zipped lip motion. Wendy did the same thing back at him.

"Later dorks!" She then jumped onto a tree that was next to the house, and used it, as it bent down, to get to another tree. Sliding down from that tree, she landed on the ground and got into the open down of the car.

"Let's get out of here!" Someone yelled in the car, before it backed up and drove away.

"You could have just used the ladder!" Patrick yelled at her angrily, but then chuckled a little. "Heh heh heh! Crazy girl!"

However, Dipper and Mabel saw this and grinned at their cousin before saying in unison, "Uh oh!"

Patrick looked at them in confusion. "What?"

"Somebody's in love!" Mabel teased him, while poking his leg.

His eyes widened a little before scoffing and looking away. "No, I'm not."

"You've been staring at her whenever you had the chance all summer," Dipper said with a smirk.

Knowing he wasn't going to win this, Patrick sighed and turned to face them. "Okay, okay, I have a crush on her," he admitted. He didn't want to say that he was in love because he wasn't sure about his feeling for her yet. "Can you blame me? Wendy's cool, fun-loving, and beautiful? But it's only a crush. It's not like I lie awake at night thinking about her!"

* * *

That night, while the twins were fast asleep, Patrick was wide awake in his bed. Staring up at the ceiling with wide eyes. Thinking about Wendy. "Oh, crap."

* * *

 **{Play** _ **Stranger Things**_ **theme by Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein}**

 **[0:00-0:03]**

 _At the beginning of the intro, there is nothing but blackness._

 **[0:03-0:08]**

 _Then about three seconds later, a bunch photographs started falling from above in slow motion._

 **[0:08-0:11]**

 _Getting a closer look at one of the photographs, while others twirled and spun in the background in slow motion, shows the town of Gravity Falls from a distance._

 **[0:11-0:14]**

 _Another picture shows the Mystery Shack during the night time, with bright lights shining thought the windows._

 **[0:14-0:16]**

 _One photo shows a thundering sky that had a large, flying creature's shadow being seen through the dark clouds. The camera then focuses on a picture behind the previous one, showing large claw marks on a tree trunk, as more photos were seen falling._

 **[0:16-0:19]**

 _Three photos are focused on now, one showing an angry Gnome, the second showing something that resembles the Long Ness Monster, and the third show a dinosaur tooth trapped in amber._

 **[0:19-0:25]**

 _The camera shows the cluster of photographs continuing to fall, before angling downwards to show all of them lying on a flat surface, collecting in a pile._

 **[0:25-0:40]**

 _The camera then gradually moves back to show more of the photos landing. After the last of the photos were on the surface, the camera moves upwards, displaying nothing but blackness again._

 **[0:40-45]**

 _Then the title of the story, including the red circle with triangle, appeared in a flash of light._

 _ **WEIRDER THINGS**_

 **[0:45-end]**

 _It then disappeared, before the chapter title appeared._

 **Chapter Five**

 **Windmill Vandals**

* * *

The next day was Wednesday, and just like the Pines twins promised, there would be no mystery adventures.

But didn't mean they couldn't find other means of having fun.

"Random dance party for no reason!" Mabel shouted before turning on a boom box.

"Go! Go! Go! Go!" Wendy chanted as she and the twins started dancing. Leaning against the wall on the other side, Patrick was watching them. More specifically, Wendy. He thought that drawing on a clipboard would clear his head, but it didn't work.

This was starting to really trouble him. He was sure about his crush on Wendy. But in love? That went above and beyond just a crush. He's only known her for a few weeks, yet Patrick couldn't stop thinking about her. How was he even sure about his feelings at this point?

"Patrick!"

Wendy calling to him made Patrick quickly rip the paper he was drawing on off of the clipboard and stuff it into the pocket of his sweater. "Uh, what, yes," he asked with a nervous smile.

"Aren't ya gonna get in on this," Wendy asked, as she and the twins came to a stop.

"I don't really dance," he told her.

"Yeah, he's more of a saxophone guy," Dipper said, making his cousin nervous.

"Quiet you!"

"Whoa! You play the saxophone, Patrick," Wendy asked him with amazement. "Were you any good?"

Patrick started to get nervous and scratched the back of his head. "Well, uh, uh..."

Translation: yes, he used to play the saxophone and yes, he was really good at it.

Luckily, he was saved by the old clock in the gift shop going off. Wendy looked at the time and smiled. "Hey, look at that! Quittin' time," she said, taking off her name tag. "The gang's waitin' for me."

As she was about to open the door, however, Patrick got an idea and spoke up. "Wait! Why don't I come with you," he asked her, making Wendy stop.

"Ooh... I don't know. My friends are pretty intense," she stated, before pointing at him with a raised eyebrow. "You sure you can handle it?"

Patrick scuffed. "Please, after the gnomes, cyborg lake monster, living wax statues, and evil little kids, I think I can handle a little teenage fun."

"All right. I like your moxie!" She said. Even though she there when they stopped Gideon from killing Patrick, Wendy still had a hard time believing the rest of the things he's listed off. "Let me get my stuff."

After she leaves out the door, Dipper said, "Wait, I thought that we were going to watch _The Duchess Approves_ on the black and white period piece old lady boring movie channel?"

"Come on, you two. It's not that I don't like hanging out with you guys, it's just that, you know, this is my chance to hang out with kids my age," Patrick told them. "And Wendy and whatever."

"I knew it!" Mabel exclaimed, before jumping over the counter and pointed at him. "You love her!" She then danced around him, continuing to point at him, while singing. "Love love love love love!"

Having enough of her, Patrick pointed at a random direction. "Oh hey, what's that?" Mabel's curiosity got the better of her and she looked in that direction, giving Patrick the opportunity to flip her long hair over her face. She tried spitting out her hair.

"Well, if that's the case, then at lease take this," said Dipper, as he took the journal out of his jacket. Patrick looked at him a little surprised. "You never know when you're going to need it."

Patrick didn't protest. He simply took the journal. He then grabbed a backpack that was leaning against the counter and placed the journal in it.

* * *

Outside of the Mystery Shack, a jelly bean was thrown. It then hits the face of a fat teen, who was being held upside down by the legs two other male teenagers. One had dark skin, brown hair, and a dark aqua green and white cap. The other was tall, with a long ovular head, and long blonde hair.

"Come on! Hurry up!" Begged the fat one, as the blood was starting to rush to his head.

"In the belly! In the belly!" Chanted the two holding him up.

The person who threw the jelly bean was a male teenager who he shaggy black hair in a typical eye-covering "emo style" hairdo, pale skin, and several piercings in his ears. He wore tight skinny jeans with a keychain attached to the pocket, and a light black hoodie with a picture of a red bleeding heart with stitches on it, along with black fingerless gloves.

He gets ready to throw the jean bean, when another one was thrown and hit the fat teen in the belly button.

The emo teen and an emo/scene girl with light brown skin and short purple hair with a pink highlight in front of her left ear were shocked by the one in a thousand shot, with the male looking at his bean in confusion.

The two of them then looked behind them and saw their friend Wendy with a boy they never seemed with a camouflage boonie hat. Turned out Wendy was the one who threw the bean. She straightened up from her throwing position, smiling.

Her friends smiled at the sight of her, with the two that held up the fat teen dropping him to join them. "Wendy!"

"Wendy! Wendy!" chanted the one with the hat.

"Hey guys!" Wendy greeted them as she and Patrick "This is my pal from work, Pat."

"Hi," Patrick said, walking up to them with a smile, offering them a handshake. "The name's Patrick Pines, and I prefer to being called Patrick. Not Pat."

"What's up man," the blonde said with a grin, offering Patrick a fist bump insist, which he gave. "I'm Lee."

The one with the hat punched Lee in the stomach, making him laugh. "I'm Nate," he said, giving him a handshake.

Patrick then offered his hand to the emo girl, who was busy texting on her phone. But all he got was, "Tambry..." She didn't even make eye contact.

"Hi, I'm Thompson," the fat teenager said, giving Patrick a handshake.

"Oh, I heard of you," Patrick said in realization. "You're that guy who once ate a run over waffle for 50 cents!"

Thompson looked at the others in disbelief. "I thought you guys deleted that video!"

Patrick then turned to the emo male, who was leaning against the blue van playing a tone on his guitar. He offered him a handshake, but was met with a scowl. "So are you, like, some kinda couple, or—"

Wendy scuffed. "Come on, Robbie!"

Okay, that hurt a little.

"Anyway, that's Robbie," she told Patrick. "You can probably figure him out."

"Yeah, I'm the guy who spray-painted the water tower," Robbie said with a scowl.

"Wait." Patrick could help but grin as he looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "You mean that big muffin? That was you!"

"Um, it's a giant explosion." Robbie corrected him before they all looked at the water tower. On the side that was facing them, they could see the explosion the he made, but all they saw was a giant red muffin.

"Hehe!" Lee chuckled and pointed at the water tower. "Kinda does look like a muffin!" He and Nate started laughing together.

Robbie turned towards Patrick and glared at him. Patrick that intimated and scowled lightly back at him.

To break the tension, Wendy opened the sliding door of the van. "Let's hurry it up, guys. I got big plans for tonight!"

Everyone cheered and entered the car. Patrick hoped in, but saw that the only available seat was in the back with Tambry. With a sigh, he went to the back at sat down. He looked at Tambry from the corner of his eyes, seeing that she was still texting on her phone. Yeah, this was going to be awkward.

Afterwards, Thompson started the car, but then said, "Okay, just, before we go, my mom said you guys aren't allowed to punch the roof anymore, so..."

Insisted of listening to him, Wendy, Lee, Nate, and Robbie started punching the roof and chanted his name. "Thompson! Thompson! Thompson!" Thompson decided it wasn't worth arguing with them and drove them away.

"So where are we going," Patrick asked.

"You'll see," Wendy said with excitement.

* * *

Back at the Mystery Shack, Stan was sitting in his recliner, lazily watching TV.

" _You're watching the black and white period piece old lady boring movie channel!"_

Not wanting to watch this, Stan looked around the remote, but couldn't find it. "Kids!" He called to the twins and Patrick. "I can't find the remote and I refuse to stand up!"

To his surprise, however, Dipper and Mabel ran into the room with a large bowl of popcorn and four bottles of soda. "It's about to start!" Dipper exclaimed as he and his sister sat down in front of their Grunkle.

"Finally!" Mabel exclaimed with anticipation. "We always miss the ending this!"

" _Stay tuned for the Friday night movie,_ The Duchess Approves _, starring Sturly Stembleburgiss as 'The Duchess' and Grampton St. Rumpterfrabble as irascible coxswain 'Saunterblugget Hampterfuppinshire!'"_

"KIDS!" Stan yelled/begging.

But it was too late. The movie began.

"NO! _NOOOO!"_

* * *

As for Patrick, he and the group of teenagers had made it to their destination.

They were standing in front of a fence that surrounded an old abandoned convenience store. The lights were off, there were a few pieces of litter around the large parking lot, and only the 'N' in its name was on, but struggled to stay on.

"There it is, fellas!" Wendy said. "The condemned Dusk 2 Dawn!"

Everyone muttered positive things about it. "Cool," said Patrick, before his eyes widened. "Wait, what!? Condemned? Why'd they shut it down, was it like a health code violation, or—"

"TRY MURDER!" Nate yelled in a joking manner.

"Some folks died in there!" Lee said with a big grin. "One day they found the bodies with their heads missing and blood everywhere! The place has been haunted ever since!"

"Are you guys serious," Patrick asked, a little concerned. "Why would you pick a haunted place to hang out at?"

"Yeah! We're all gonna die!" Wendy exclaimed in mock horror, before laugh. "Chill out man!" She punched him in the shoulder, making Patrick flinch and rub his arm with a frown. "It's not as bad as it looks!"

Afterwards, she and her friends started to climb the fence. Patrick very uncertain about going through with this. He couldn't place his finger on it, but there was something about this place that didn't sit well with his gut feeling. But what was it?

"Hey!" He snapped out of his thoughts and saw that they were on the other side of the fence. "You coming," Wendy asked.

Patrick stared at her for a moment, before letting out an aggravated sigh. "Strew it," he groaned and started climbing.

Once he dropped down to the ground on the other side, Patrick followed Wendy and her friends to the entrance to the Dusk 2 Dawn. When they arrived, the redhead looked inside through the window, while Robbie grabbed a hold of the door handles and tried to open them. "Wow! This place is amazing!" She exclaimed.

"I think it's, it's stuck!" Robbie exclaimed, jerking the doors in a futile attempt to open them.

However, Patrick noticed something. "Wait, stop," he said, before walking past the other teens to the where Robbie was, who he pushed gently out of the way.

Tapped onto the door was a folded note. Patrick grabbed it and opened it, as the others gathered around him. Together they read it: "'In the name of all that is holy, don't let the windmill stop turning'?"

The teens looked around the parking lot for any signs of this 'windmill' that the paper was talking about. But find nothing. "What windmill," asked Lee.

"Okay, I don't think we should be here," Patrick said.

"Oh yeah. I'm going to do what a piece of paper said, telling me about a windmill that's not even here," Robbie said sarcastically.

"Come on, leave him alone," Wendy said. "He's just a little scared."

The moment the word entered his ears, Patrick's eyes widened before he glared and his fist clenched hard. "Wait right here," he said, before marching over to the side of the convenience store, taking out his crowbar in the process. When he turned the corner, he saw a dumpster and climbed onto its. He then jumped up and grabbed the edge of the build's roof.

Down below, he heard the group voicing their amazement, shock, and somewhat concern.

Patrick didn't pay attention to them and walked onto the roof. He then spotted the vent of the ventilation shaft. Going towards it, he swung his crowbar into the vent cover, denting it. He hits it again, denting it even more. The third time he struck it, the curved end got stuck in the vent, so he placed his front on the edge of the vent cover and pulled. About three seconds, and the cover was pulled out off.

"Hey Patrick," Wendy called up to him with concern, as he entered into the ventilation system, "take it easy!"

Robbie turned to them with his arms crossed and smirked. "Who wants to bet he doesn't make it," he said, only for Patrick to open the door from the other side.

Patrick looked at them for a moment, before smiling and gesturing for them to go on in. All of them happily went towards him, except for Robbie.

"Good call inviting this maniac!" Lee exclaimed, giving Patrick high-five as he walked in.

"Your new name is Dr. Funtimes!" Nate exclaimed, pointing at him as he walked in with Tambry and Thompson following. Robbie went inside, but bumped his shoulder into Patrick's making him glare at him and rub his shoulder.

He then felt a friendly punch on his arm and turned to see Wendy smiling at him. "Nice work," she said, walking in.

Patrick smiled. All the negative feelings he felt were gone. He then closed the door behind him as joined them.

"Do you guys really think it's haunted," Thompson asked nervously.

"Na! Thompson are you kidding me?" said Nate

"Yeah!" Wendy exclaimed. "Tonight, we own this place!"

However, a second after she said that, something happened outside that no one noticed. A thick fog rounded in, covering the area around the Dusk 2 Dawn in its eerie presences.

And then, just as quickly as it came, it went away.

And now, appearing when it wasn't there in the first place, was a windmill!

* * *

"Whoa man," said Wendy, standing next to Robbie and Patrick, as everyone looked around the dark store in amazement, "it's even creepier than I imagined!"

Patrick took a step forward and felt his felt step on a _crunching_ object. He looked down and saw a news newspaper covered in dust. He picked it up and wipes off the dust where the cover would be. It was last published in the 1990's.

"Hey dude, where do you think they keep the dead bodies," Nate jokingly asked.

Lee shoved him with a grin. "Shut up, man!"

"Guys, check it out!" They looked to see Wendy leaning against the wall, next to a pair of light switches. "You think these still work," she asked before flinging them on. This activated all the lights in the convenience store. All the machines, drink stands, and cooking devices were turned on again after years of being off.

Everyone muttered positive things about the store. Patrick then turned to Wendy and asked, "So, what are we going to do now?"

"Anything we want," she answered. He grinned.

 **(Play music:** _ **We're Not Gonna Take It**_ **by Twisted Star)**

The teens ran and grabbed as much food and snacks as they could, before breaking off into two teams, each going to opposite sides. They then started a fun fight. Patrick, Wendy, Robbie, and Nate were on one side, throwing food at Tambry, Lee, and Thompson.

Lee then hits Nate with a bag of cat food, before his friend hits him back. Both of them laughed, before Patrick and Wendy hits them in the back with bags of cat food, making them fall on their stomachs. The two then ran away, as the two boys chased them with their bags, the four of them laughing all the way.

Lee then hands three mints Nate, who then puts them into a bottle of soda. A second later, and the bottle shot up a geyser of soda. Everyone cheered as the drops of the drink falls onto them. Patrick laughed, having the time of his life.

 **(End music)**

Later, Patrick was running around a corner before stopping. His eyes widened in horror. "Oh no!"

In front of him was a shelf filled with the small tip of candy, only it had police tape on it that said do not sell. The candy was called 'Smile Dip'.

"Oh, come on!" He exclaimed. "I thought we destroyed the last of this stuff in town!"

"Hey, I heard of this," said Wendy, walking up next to him. "Wasn't this candy banned because of the hallucinogenic it had in it?"

Patrick groaned with a hand on his face. "Yeah, and what's worse is that Mabel actually got a hold of this crap."

— **(flashback)—**

 _Mabel was lying down in their bedroom, making a gurgling sound. The Smile Dip was all over her face, clothes, as her eyes, now small and green, was staring up at the ceiling._

" _Mabel?! Mabel!" Patrick yelled frantically, shaking her shoulders. He and Dipper were kneeling down on the sides of the girl. All around them were about four open bags of Smile Dip. After they had found out that the candy was banned in the United States because the ingredient caused people to hallucinate, they rushed to find Mabel. But they were too late._

 _Dipper picked up one of the discarded and looked at his sister with wide eyes. "Mabel! How many of these did you eat!?"_

" _Beleven.. teen..." Mabel spoke out gibberish._

" _I don't get it," Patrick said, letting his cousin go. "Why would a company make this stuff?"_

" _More important," Dipper said, before both he and his cousin looked down at Mabel, "what could she possibly be seeing."_

 _As for Mabel, as she was looking at the room, it suddenly changed into a world bright, vibrate lights that changed colors. In front of her was Dipper and Patrick, before a song she never heard of played in the background._

 _That song was_ "Let's Fighting Love" _!_

" _ **Hey hey let's go!, kenka suru"**_

Dipper suddenly grew muscles and ripped his shirt and jacket off. He was completely ripped, with broad shoulders, muscles on almost every part of his upper body and arms. He let out a manly roar, as his hat flew off when his hair suddenly turned blonde, grew longer, and stood straight up.

" _ **Taisetsu na mono o, protect my balls"**_

Patrick was almost the same, but very different. He grabbed his shirt and hoodie, and not only ripped them off with a manly roar, but also his skin, which turned out to be fake. Revealing himself a muscular purple alien with two antennas on his head.

" _ **Boku ga warui, so let's fighting"**_

The two of them faced each other with glares. They then got into a fighting pose.

" _ **Let's fighting love"**_

Both boys, in their new forms, charged their beam attacks. Dipper's beam attack being blue, and Patrick's being red.

" _ **Let's fighting love"**_

 _They unleashed their attack. The beams collided, causing everything to go white._

— **(flashback ends)—**

Back in the present, Patrick and Wendy were sitting on top of a shelf eating ice cream. "Hey, come here we got it ready!" Nate called out to Thompson.

Thompson ran over to them. "Whatever it is I'll do it!"

Wendy laughed. "Thompson!" She cheered for him, before turning her head to look at Patrick. "Patrick, this night is like, legendary."

"Really," he asked. "I thought you guys did this all the time."

"Yeah, but just look around." She gestured to her male friends. "The guys are bonding."

The three boys laughed as Thompson was on his hands and knees, Nate pulled his pants back, and Robbie stuffed ice into Thompson's pants.

"And I've never even seen Tambry look up from her phone this long."

Tambry was texting on her phone, then looked up for a second, before going back to texting.

Patrick chuckled and said, "Yeah, and best of all, nothing weird or dangerous has happened so far."

"Heh, yeah," said Wendy. Patrick looked to her and saw her just licking her ice cream. However, her response told him that she was taking his statement as a joke, and not seriously.

"You really don't believe me, do you?"

Wendy paused for a moment, looking at him from the corner of her eye, and sighed. "Look, I just can't really bring myself to believe all the things you've told me as facts," she said in a rare serious tone. "I mean, I've lived in this town the day I was born, and I can't remember anything about gnomes, lake cyborg monsters, and even wax people coming to life."

"I know what you mean. All this mystery solving thing started when we found this stupid journal," he said bitterly, taking off his backpack and pulling out the journal.

"Isn't that the one that Dipper's always looking at?"

"Yeah." Patrick flipped through the pages, before stopping. "And what's worse is that if all the things in this book are real, then that means whoever was after the author is real too."

See him in a troubled state, Wendy sat closet to Patrick and was about to say something to comfort him, when Lee said, "Hey guys! We need more ice!"

"I'm on it!" Patrick proclaimed, putting the journal away, and jumped off the shelf and headed towards the freezers in the back.

Going up to one of them, he opened it and grabbed a bag of ice, before closing the freezers. He then turned around and walked back to the group waiting for him with the bag. Whenever, as he got closer to them, he noticed something through the glass doors. The closer he got, the better he was able to make out what it was.

"Alright!" Nate exclaimed as Patrick approached him, Nate, and Thompson. "Dr. Funtimes has arrived with the ice!" However, they went from excited to confuse when the Pines teen dropped the bag of ice and walked passed them. All of them, including Wendy, Robbie, and Tambry watched as he walked towards the doors and stopped a few feet away from them.

"Guys?" Patrick spoke, not taking his eyes off of what he was looking at. His voice expressed his nervousness. He then pointed at something outside. "You might want to see this."

He was referring to the windmill that appeared out of nowhere. It was a tall, old western style windmill with four blades that turned in the wind.

As it turned, the teenagers exited from the store and approached it. They looked up at the tall windmill with wide eyes and jaws slightly open. The group then stopped a few meters away from it, before Thompson said, "This wasn't here before, right?"

"Na, men," Lee said, shack his head.

"Where did it come from," asked Wendy.

"I got a feeling I'm not gonna like that answer," said Patrick. Robbie looked down at the ground, looking for something. He then spotted a rock near his right foot. A mischievous smile spread on his lips, before he bent down at grabbed it.

"Hey guys," Robbie said, with the rock in his hand. "Bet I can hit the center." He then threw it at the red cone of the windmill. He missed.

"What you…?" Patrick exclaimed, only for the others to start throwing rocks at the windmill. All attempts to hit the cone have resulted in failure. "Guys!"

Wendy threw and didn't hit the cone. However, she did hit one of the turning blades. "Awesome!" She exclaimed with pride.

Patrick gasped. He remembered what the note said about the windmill. It didn't say why, but he knew that it wasn't anything good. And now his friends were throwing rocks at it. "Guys, stop!" He yelled, getting in front of them. "If one of you hit it, we could break it!"

"Chill, bro," Lee said. "It's not like anyone's going to miss this windmill. It's all old and wooden."

"Think about," he told them. "The note said not to let the windmill stop turning. What if that was a warning about _this_ windmill?"

All of them then started booing him, with Robbie said, "Yeah, take it down a notch, Captain Buzzkill!"

"Back off, man," Patrick snapped. "I'm just trying to do the right thing!"

"Well, you're acting like Captain Buzzkill! Right," he asked the others. They nodded, except Wendy. "Why did you have to bring him, Wendy?"

Wendy frowned at Patrick, before looking away and rubbing her left arm. "Sorry, guys. I thought he was cool."

Patrick looked at her in shock. Was she serious? Was she willing to vandalize a dead couple's windmill, all because her friends wanted to? Did she really not thing he was cool? Here he was, being ridiculed by her friends for just trying to do the right thing, and all she does is do the same? His anger started to boil as he started doubting all the kindness she's show to him. Or if Wendy even cared about him as a person. "Alright, then! You guys want to hit that windmill, then I think I'll join you!" He exclaimed in anger and frustration, before picking up a rock.

Turning towards the windmill, he throws the rock.

It strikes the cone with a metallic _denting_ sound.

The rock bounced on the ground when it landed, Patrick turned quickly around to face the other teenagers. "There! I hit it! YOU HAPPY NOW?" He yelled, before the red cone fell and landed right behind him.

Wendy and her friends looked at the windmill's cone in shock, while Patrick turned around and saw it with wide eyes. They heard the windmill's eerie sound getting louder, and they looked up to see the windmill turning slower, before coming to a complete stop. The lights in the convenience store went out as a result.

Everyone was silent for a moment. But then, they all cheered, except for Wendy. "Now that was awesome," Nate exclaimed.

"What!?" Patrick looked at them in disbelief. "Are you insane?! How do we even fix this thing?!"

"Fix?" Robbie asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes, dud. We can't just leave it like this. We could get in serious trouble!"

"I don't fix what I don't break. Nor do I fix what I broke," Robbie stated arrogantly, before pointing at Patrick. "You can stay here and fix the stupid windmill for all I care. I'm going back inside." He turned around and walked back the Dust 2 Dawn. "Follow us if you want to have fun, Captain Buzzkill."

Nate, Lee, Tambry, and Thompson soon followed him. Wendy turned and was about to go with them when Patrick called to her. "Wendy?"

She stopped and looked at him.

"You're going to help me, right," Patrick asked, almost begging.

Wendy looked down for a moment. "Hey, Wendy!" Robbie called to her, getting her attention. "Come on!"

Looking at Patrick again with an expression that said sorry, she left to join her friends.

Patrick was again shocked and saddened, before glaring at Wendy. "Whatever! I'll just do this on my own!" He told her, as she opened the doors and entered the dark convenience store. He sighed. "It's not that I'm used to having no friends."

With a sigh. He turned and looked up at the windmill. He reached into his bag and pulled out a socket wrench that was conveniently in it, before heading to the ladder that was on the left side of the mill.

Climbing up the ladder, he reached a small platform that was at the top of the tower, and where he was at the gearbox.

He walked over to the blades and placed his hands on it. He was about to turn it when he his eyes caught the sight of something. Patrick turned his head in the direction of it, and was stunned.

Down the road that the Dust 2 Dawn, a large black dust cloud was coming right towards his direction. He could also hear a rumbling sound in the same direction that grew louder.

Figuring it was nothing, he turned his attention back to the blade he was holding onto and pushed it up, getting the blades to start turning again. Patrick looked back at the rumbling dust cloud.

The dust cloud was getting closer, and larger. But then, it just dissolved and disappeared.

"What the hell?" Patrick looked surprised and confused at where the dust cloud used to be. He then heard the sounds of cheering. Looking at the convenience store, he saw the lights were back on, and that caused the others to cheer.

Deciding to at least get it fixed, Patrick took the socket wrench and started cracking it in between the blades and the gearbox.

After a moment, he stopped and took out the wrench from between them. "Okay, that's gotta do it," he said, only for the wheel to stop turning again. The lights of the Dust 2 Dawn went off again, resulting in 'awe's being heard. Patrick sighed. "Note to self, don't ask Soos for lessons of fixing things."

Patrick was about to work on it again, when he heard the rumbling sound again.

He saw the black dust cloud again. Only this time it was closer. As it came, he started to see into it, and saw four black silhouettes with glowing green outlines. Each of them looked as though they were riding on something, a horse Patrick would guess. Had flowing capes, and helmets. They were also holding up a different weapon: an ax, an ax with double heads, a flail, and a sword.

"Oh no," he whispered in fear.

* * *

"Oh, come!" Robbie complained as the others groaned. They were watching Thompson playing a dancing video game when the lights turned off. And with it, the game.

But while they were complaining about the power going in and out, Wendy was far away from them, leaning against one of the shelves and looking down at the ground in guilt. Thinking about what she did. She's never seen Patrick get that angry before. But could she really blame him? Even though she knew him for only a few weeks and he was practically a stranger, she saw Patrick as a cool, serious, and yet fun guy to be around. She admired him for being protective of his cousins and wanting to get the job done. Hell, he was even willing to sacrifice his time so that she could slack off.

And yet she talked bad about him when her friends turned on him for wanting to do the right thing. Now he was out there all alone, trying to fix the windmill that was powering the store

"Dammit!" Robbie exclaimed in anger. "What the fuck is that loser doing!?"

"I don't know," Wendy said with bitterness, having enough of hearing them talk bad about her work buddy. She marched towards. "Why don't you fix the windmill if you think _you_ could do a better job?!"

"Woah, woah! Chill out, Wendy," Robbie said to his secret crush, holding up his hands as she stopped in front of them. "What's gotten into you?"

"Why did you guys have to be so hard on him? I thought you all liked him," she demanded her childhood friends with a glare. "Patrick was only trying to do the right thing."

"All because of a piece of paper."

"That told us not to let the windmill stop turning!" Wendy sighed to calm herself. "Look you guys, you may be my friends, but Patrick is too." She stopped when the lights turned back on again. They all looked up at the lights in shock. Wendy looked back at them with a scowl. "I'm going to help him out," she proclaimed, walking towards the doors.

"Wendy, wait," Robbie called out to her. Feeling that he was losing her to Patrick. How could she be so willing to help a guy she barely knew?

* * *

Outside, Patrick was sweating like crazy as he frantically cranked the wrench in the windmill. Trying to get the thing to turn faster. He had no idea what he just saw, but wasn't willing to find out.

Wendy opened the doors and exited out of the store. She looked up at the windmill and saw her friend working on. "Hey, Patrick!"

Her calling to him caused the boy to stop and let take out the wrench. "Wendy?" he said. Suddenly, the sweat on his hands caused the tool to shoot out of his tight grip. "NO!" Patrick tried to grab it as it fell, but it was too late.

Wendy watched as the wrench fell and landed on the ground. She looked up at Patrick and said, "Don't worry, I'll get it!"

"NO, DON'T COME ANY CLOSER!" Patrick suddenly shouted, startling her. He then quickly started climbing down the ladder. "Just get back inside and lock the doors!"

"Is this about earlier," Wendy asked with a sad expression. "Look, I'm so sorry about that!"

"Apology accepted!" He exclaimed before she could continue, reaching the ground and hopping off the ladder, before running towards the wrench.

"Patrick?"

He grabbed the wrench and looked up at Wendy, seeing that she was still there. "Get back inside before it's—"

Patrick and his heart stopped when he heard the windmill stop turning. He looked at it, before hearing the rumbling sound of running horses. He looked in the direction of it.

Wendy heard it too, and looked in the same direction. Her eyes widened and she exclaimed, "Holy shit!"

The four glowing figure appeared again, and this time, as they got closer, their hideous forms were able to be seen.

They were four living skeletons with green hues and outlines and red eyes, wearing old, worn away armor, tattered capes and horned helmets. They rode on skeleton horses and held up their weapons. The sounds of their horrifying hollow laughing echoed.

Wendy and Patrick screamed in terror at the sight of the undead horsemen.

Behind the door opened and out came the other teens. "How hard is it to fix a…" Robbie yelled at Patrick, before they all noticed the horsemen. "What the!" The horsemen had their horses jump over the fence with little trouble, and landed on the other side.

They then charged at Patrick, before encircling him and the windmill.

"Patrick!" Wendy called to him, as the undead beings circled him like sharks. "Get out of there!"

Patrick would have, but as he looked around for a way to escape, he was unable to find one. He backed up into the windmill. Looking up at the blades, he finally understood why the warning said not to have it stop turning and knew that the only way to get the horsemen to go away is to start it again. He placed the wrench into his back pocket and raced up the ladder.

"What's he doing!?" Nate exclaimed.

"I don't know man! I don't know!" Lee responded.

Patrick reached the top of the ladder and got onto the platform. He then jammed the wrench into the windmill and started cranking.

The windmill began turning, and the undead horsemen disappeared into thin air. He lets out a sigh of relief.

"Where'd they go," Tambry asked, looking around for the horsemen.

"Let's just go already!" Robbie exclaimed.

"Patrick, come on!" Wendy called up to him. "We're leaving!"

"We can't leave yet!" Patrick told them, leaving the wrench in the windmill as he walked to the ladder. "Somehow the windmill—" He stopped after accidentally stepping on a randomly placed screw driver. This caused him to trip and fall backwards, off of the windmill. "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

He fell all the way to the ground and landed on his back.

"Patrick!" Wendy ran towards him, with the others following her.

"Oowwwwww." Patrick groaned in aching agony. It felt like his entire body was in pain from the fall. But luckily the bag was able to break a small amount of the fall. Still feeling it, he struggled to sit up. Only for the wrench to fall straight onto his head. "OW!"

Wendy and her friends ran to him, but gasped and stopped.

Patrick rubbed his head where the wrench hit, before opening an eye to look at it. He then, however, gasped in horror too, as he held it up. It was the only thing that was keeping the windmill running. He heard the sound of horse hoofs on the hard concrete, and looked up.

The undead horsemen and their horses were staring down right at him. Their red eyes glaring at his figure with the intent to kill.

Patrick screamed and the horsemen's horses reared up on their hind legs, as they hollowed out their battle cry. He quickly got up and made a break for it. Patrick took off his backpack and fished for his crowbar. Grabbing it, he dropped the bag, before stopping and quickly blocking the double-headed ax. The he blocked the sword, before jumping out of the way when all the weapons came down on him.

"Patrick!" Wendy called to him.

"Forget him!" Robbie exclaimed, pointing towards the fence. "Let's go!" However, right when he said that, two of the horsemen turned around and charged at them. The teenagers screamed in terror and ran away. Going towards the convenience store, they were about to hide in the building, when the horseman with the flail got in front of them. Blocking their way inside. They turned around to run away, only for the sword horseman to stop them.

Patrick, stopping at the windmill, saw this and in a desperate move threw his crowbar at the sword horseman. It hits it in the head, knocking off the pointed top of it. The undead stopped and felt the top of his helmet. Realizing it lost its top, it hissed and led the other three horsemen to charge at Patrick.

Seeing them running towards him, Patrick quickly climbed up the ladder, right before the sword-wielding could cut his foot off. Half way up, he looked down and saw them staring up at him. He then looked at the other teens. "Back in the store," Wendy told her friends and they nodded. She grabbed the handles and attempted to open them, but the doors wouldn't budge. "What the... Guys... It's locked!"

Patrick heard this and was ready to go all the way to the top. However, he heard the sound of breaking wood and looked down.

The sword had cut through the ladder and it was beginning to fall over.

Fearing for his life, Patrick looked around for a way to get off the ladder. As it started to topple over to the left, he acted quickly and grabbed onto one of the blades of the windmill.

While the ladder hits the ground, Patrick held onto the blade for dear life. However, things went from bad to worse when it turned counterclockwise, due to the weight of his body. After blade stopped when was at the lowest end, Patrick felt his grip on it slip.

He tried to hold on tighter, but in the end, he slides off the blade and falls to the ground. His hands tearing the cloth on the back, revealing a strange symbol. The windmill started turning again.

Patrick, again, landed hard on his back. This time hurting more, due to him not having the bag. The horsemen hollowed out their laughing battle cry, raising their weapons over their heads. He braced himself for death, only for the four undead skeletons to vanish into purple smoke.

Opening his eyes, he saw they were gone and let out a sigh of relief. "Patrick," said Wendy as she and the others rushed over to him. "Are you okay?"

"Not too bad," he lied, standing up with Lee and Nate helping him.

"What the hell were those things!?" Robbie demanded. "And what was their deal!?"

"I don't know, but I've got a feeling that that paper was warning us about _this_!" Patrick stated. "Whenever the windmill's turning, those horsemen go away. And they appear whenever it stops."

"That makes no sense," Tambry exclaimed.

"It doesn't matter whether or out it makes sense." Patrick walked over to where he threw the backpack and grabbed it. "Whatever's happening is happening for a reason," He said, taking the journal out and flipping through it as he walked back over to them, under the windmill. "Maybe if we can figure out what it is, then we'll make it out of this!"

"'Uh-uh, they'll let us live!'" Robbie sarcastically mocked him. "Yeah, that makes a lot of…sense…?" He stopped when flakes of gray pieces of cloth rained down on them, confusing the teens. Wendy looked and saw that they were coming from the windmill blades that were turning slowly. Adjusting her hat with a determined expression, the redhead started climbing up the leg of the tower.

When she arrived at the platform, Wendy stood on it and looked at the back of the blades. The expression of her face showed her surprise and shock when she saw four unique symbols on it. She stared at them questioningly, before pulling out her phone and began taking pictures of each symbol.

A moment later, Wendy came down at went to her friends. "Check this out," she said, showing them the pictures.

"Whoa!"

"Freaky."

"Intense."

Robbie scuffed. "So what?"

"Wait, I think I've seen those symbols before," Patrick said, holding up the journal.

* * *

Back at the Mystery Shack, Stan was now fully invested in the The Duchess Approves. The twins remained at the front of his feet, staring at the screen with hopefully eyes. Having finished off the popcorn and three of the sodas, they were now having to use ice cream to cope with the emotions they were feeling because of the movie.

 _"I don't care about Dukes, or Commoners, or His Royal Highness Lionel of Cornwall!"_ said Duchess, while Dipper was holding the boil of ice cream. He scooped out some with a spoon and ate it. He then scooped a spoonful of ice cream for his sister and handed it to her. However, Mabel was so invested in the movie that she tried to use her tongue to pick the ice cream off the spoon, only for the ice cream to fall onto the floor. "I'm _not afraid anymore, Mother!"_

 _"Duchess, I forbid you."_ Mother said, as Dipper handed the bowl of ice cream to Stan, who took it and started eating.

"Oh, man," Mabel whispered in excitement. "This is the best part!" Dipper nodded with equal excitement.

 _"I may be a Duchess, but...I'm also a woman!"_ Duchess, with tears in her eyes, took her hat off to reveal her long hair flying in the wind. This causes the twins to cheer loudly.

"Rock on, girl!" Mabel exclaimed, throwing her fist in the air.

"In your face, Elizabeth!" Dipper pointed at the screen. Then the two heard soft whimpering from behind and turned their heads to see it was Stan. The old man had tears formed in his eyes and looked like he was holding in all his emotions in. "Stan? Are you going to cry?"

"No! It's just...It's just..." Stan couldn't hold it in any longer and covered his eyes with his hands when he started sobbing. "It's just like my life!...in a way."

* * *

After getting back into the Dust 2 Dawn, the teens barricade the door with a shelf and the windows with planks of wood and nails. They were now sitting on their knees while gathering around Patrick, who had the journal opened and flipping through.

"Are you sure that what we need is in this journal, Patrick," Wendy asked him.

"It has to be, otherwise, we're screwed," he responded.

"Yeah, right, I'm sure the old-ass journal would have their back stories too!" Robbie said sarcastically.

"If you have any other ideas on how to beat them, Robbie, I'd love to hear it. So for now, shut it." Patrick retorted, not taking his eyes off the journal as he flipped to the next page. "Found it!"

The other looked at the journal. It was titled the _'Windmill Vandals'_ and along with writing, it had a picture of the windmill itself, a man with a long white bread holding up a peace sign, and a picture of four strong-looking men.

"It said: 'While seeming like an old relic of the past, this windmill was built 250 years ago, before the official founding of Gravity Falls. It was built by its first owner, Farmer Jiles Galette. He created it at a time when everyone depended on waterwheels...run by a horde of Vandals. One day, the water dried up, and it made Farmer Galette the only man with a working mill. The Vandals hated him for that, but he kept them at bay by carving magical symbols on the blades of his windmill wheel. Legend has it: if the windmill ever stops turning, the Vandals will rise from the dead and seek vengeance on all who possess it.'"

The other teenagers gasped in shock and terror.

"But why are they attacking us?" Wendy exclaimed in concern and fear. "We don't own it!"

Patrick though for a moment. She had a valid point. Why would the Vandals attack them? They didn't know the windmill, they were just here to party. However, a terrible thought entered his head. "Wendy," he said, "do you remember what you said when I unlocked the doors?"

— **(flashback)—**

" _Yeah!" Wendy exclaimed. "Tonight, we own this place!"_

— **(flashback ends)—**

"But I was only talking about the store! Not the windmill!"

"Think about," he told her before turning to Lee. "Lee, you said that the old couple who lived here was killed and their heads were missing, right?"

"Yeah." He nodded his head, before his eyes widened. "Wait, are you saying…"

"That's right…They were the last owners of Galette's windmill."

The other teenagers gasped in shock, as the severity of the situation started to settle in. "So what do we do," asked Thompson. As soon after he said that, the lights started to flicker on and off. They looked up at the ceiling, as the lights went off completely.

Tambry ran up to the one of the boarded windows, where a gap in the planks was. She looked through it, and then saw the dust cloud appearing again. "Uh, guys," she said nervously.

"We have to stay here," Robbie said. "They can't get in here with the barricade." But after he said, the shelf was destroyed in half, and the Vandals came riding into the store. The sudden break in caused all of them to scream in terror.

"Outside, Now!" Patrick yelled.

The teenagers ran out of the Dust 2 Dawn safely and head to the windmill. Behind them, the Vandals rides towards them.

"Thompson, hurry!" Wendy called to her friend. Thompson, being the heaviest of them was slower. He panted heavily while sweating.

The rest of the teenagers made it to the windmill with no trouble, but they looked back and saw their friend having trouble getting to where they were. The intensity only increased when they saw the Vandals catching up to him. "Look out!" Patrick yelled.

"Huh?" Thompson looked over his shoulder.

The Sword Vandal then cuts his head off.

The rest of the teenagers screamed in horror at the sight. However, to their relief, his body wasn't dead and there was no blood. It only bent no on its knees and tried feeling for its missing head. The Vandal that took Thompson's head held it up like a trophy. However, he was not dead at all. "Wha? Oh, no! I've lost my body!" He exclaimed before crying. "I'm just a head!"

Patrick looked to his left and saw one of the Vandals coming at them. "Scatter!" They all ran in different direction.

"How do we get them to stop?!" Wendy exclaimed.

"I told you guys! We got to fix the windmill!" Patrick stated loudly. He dodged the double-headed ax and then blocked it. He was surprised by the strength that the Vandal had, despite being dead.

Nate stopped and looked at the ground. His eyes widened when he saw the wrench and picked it up. "I got the wrench," he exclaimed, holding it up. However, he heard the sound of hooves clacking behind him. Nate turned around.

The Ax Vandal rode towards and cuts his head off.

"AAHH!" Nate's head screamed in the air, before it was caught by the Vandal.

"Nate!" Lee called to his friend, before running to him. He ran to his wandering and confused body and grabbed the wrench from him. "Patrick, here!" He threw at the Pines male, before his head was cut off too. "Oh man."

Patrick saw the tool coming at him and broke off his battle with the Double-Headed Ax Vandal, before running to catch the wrench, only for the Flail Vandal to knock it away.

The wrench flew into the before it was caught by the Sword Vandal, who had Thompson's crying head on his waist. Wendy then jumped over the side of the horse and grabbed it from the Vandal's hand, shocking it. Moving quickly, she quickly took Thompson's head too. "Tambry! Catch!" She called out, throwing the head towards the Goth girl.

Tambry was able catch him, but looked at him with disgust. "This is so gross."

"At least you have a body," he countered, before they heard one of the Vandals behind them.

The Double-Headed Ax Vandal hollowed before swinging to the side.

Tambry's body was without a head, so it placed Thompson's head on it. He looked down at his new body and yelled. "Now I'm Tambry," he exclaimed in dismay.

"Don't you dare touch anything, Thompson!" She ordered him, as the Vandal held up her head and chuckled. Then out of nowhere, Nate's body jumped over its horse and grabbed her head.

It landed on the ground and puts her head on before continuing to run. Meanwhile, Nate's head on Lee's body was running away from the Flail Vandal, and Lee's head on Thompson's body was running away from the Single-Headed Ax Vandal. The four mismatched friend then ran towards each other. They then took their heads off with a _pop_ , before throwing them to their correct bodies,and putting them back on with another _pop_. Happy to have their bodies back again, it was short lived when three of the Vandals came charging at them. They ran for their lives again.

Wendy climbed up the top of the windmill and jammed the wrench into the gearbox, before cranking it. She could hear the sounds of her friends screaming for their lives and the haunting laugher of the Vandals echoing in her ears. Her face sweated as she cranked faster, but the windmill wouldn't turn. "COME ON!" She exclaimed and punched the gearbox in frustration.

Patrick ran up the windmill and looked up at her. "What's wrong?" He called up to her.

"The stupid thing wouldn't work!" Wendy responded down at him. She then noticed something red next to him and looked at it. It was the red cone. She gasped in realization. "Patrick, quick! Bring up that cone!"

Looking down at cone that she was pointing to, Patrick bent down to grab it. However, he heard the sound of one of the Vandals coming behind him. Looking over his right shoulder, Patrick saw the Sword Vandal swinging its sword at him. Acting quickly, he brought his crowbar up to block it. However, when the sword strikes it, the blade knocked the crowbar out of his hand.

Fearing for his life, Patrick stared at the Vandal with fright as it approached him on the horse.

The Sword Vandal raised its blade to cut him down. "HYAH!" Suddenly, Wendy dropped down on the horse, before grabbing the tattered cape and wrapped it around the head and arms of the Vandal and pulled back. Unable to see or move its arms, the undead horseman hollowed while its horse started bucking like a rodeo bull. "Patrick, go!" She ordered, struggling to hold onto the Vandal. "Fix it before it's too late!"

Patrick quickly bent down and grabbed the cone, before running to the windmill. He then started climbing up the tower hurriedly.

Wendy continued to hold onto the Sword Vandal, as the horse's bucking and attempts to get her off led them to where the other three Vandals had Thompson, Lee, Nate, Tambry, and Robbie surrounded. The tattered cape started to tear. "Whoa, whoa!" Soon the piece of the cape she was holding onto tore completely, giving the horse the chance to bounce her off its back and kick her in the stomach.

Patrick made it to the top of the windmill and placed the cone into it. Now the windmill was completely together.

Wendy landed painfully on the ground, before her friends kneeled down to help her sit up. After they all helped her sit up, they saw the Vandals surrounding them, making them scream in terror.

"Turn, baby! Turn!" Patrick exclaimed, as the windmill started turning again after being fixed.

The six friends screamed while hugging each other in their final moment, as the Vandals raised their weapons to kill them. The teens closed their eyes and waited for the agony to come when the weapons were brought down, only for the four Vandals to disappear.

Patrick sighed in relief, happy that the nightmare was finally over. And not a moment too soon. He then looked at the spinning blades in front of him and said in confusion, "What the?"

With the windmill turning, the symbols on the back of the blades came together, forming the image of Farmer Jiles Galette.

"Heh, not bad," he said with a grin, before climbing down the windmill. As he descended, Patrick was greeted with the other teenagers running towards him, cheering for him. Nate and Lee fist bumped him, with Tambry taking pictures of him, nearly blinding him with the flashes. Patrick laughed at all the positivity he was receiving, before he was picked up and placed on Thompson's and Lee's shoulders.

"Patrick! Patrick! Patrick!" They chanted his name, except for Wendy and Robbie, who were standing a few feet away.

Robbie, who was mostly hiding when the Vandals attacked, didn't look all to impress and scowled. Wendy on the other hand, cheered for him. "So what," he said, shrugging his shoulders, "he's still a loser in my book." The emo teen received a hard elbow to the gut buy the redhead, before she went back to cheering.

Hearing her, Patrick turned towards her, a little surprised that she was cheering for him. Wendy halted her cheering, and smiled at him, before holding up his crowbar. Patrick eyes widened as he saw her having his weapon, but he smiled back at her and gave her a thumbs up.

* * *

Later on, dawn was approaching, and everyone except Wendy and Patrick was sleeping in the van. The latter was finished closing the doors of the Dust 2 Dawn, and was now dropping down to the ground after climbing the fence. He walked over to where the van was parked, as Wendy leaned against it waiting for him.

"I can't believe we even survived that hold ordinal," he said in astonishment.

"Tell me about it," she said with her usual smile, "I'm probably scarred for life."

"Welcome to my life." The two of them laughed at his comment.

"I think I'll go stare at a wall for a while and _rethink everything_ ," she proclaimed, with her smile turned to serious expression. Wendy then looked down in guilt, scratching the back her head. She didn't know how to start, but figured it was time to make things right. "Hey, look, I'm really sorry about what I said about you. I don't know why I said that. You're a really cool guy and it wasn't right of me to turn on you like that."

"It's okay, Wendy," he told her, before looking down himself. "I shouldn't have lost my temper and hit the windmill. If I haven't, we wouldn't have been in this mess."

Wendy looked at him sadly for a moment, before smiling a bit. "I guess we're both not so cool, huh?" She said, trying to cheer him up.

Patrick looked at her and smiled. "Yeah."

"Hey, next time we hang out, let's stay at the Mystery Shack. Okay?"

"Sure! But for now, I'm just looking forward to sleep." Patrick walked pasted her and got into the van.

Wendy was about to step inside too, but noticed something on the ground. Looking down, she saw it was a crumpled piece of paper. Figuring that Patrick must have dropped it, she picked it up and got into the van. "Hey, Patrick," she said, but saw him already asleep in the back. Figuring that she'll give it to him another time, she got out of the van and head to the driver's side.

With Thompson asleep with the rest of them, Wendy was left with no choice but to drive them home. Opening the door, she sat in the seat and closed the door. Curious, she looked at the paper and unraveled it.

Wendy gasped and blushed.

It was a drawing of her. It was beautifully drawn, showing her smiling and having a good time.

Staring at it for a moment, Wendy couldn't help but admire it, with it's beautifully, carefully drawn lines and shading. She then looked into the rear view mirror at Patrick's sleeping form, realizing that he actually drew her. Wendy smiled at him, silently thanking him. She then placed the placed the drawing in her shirt pocket, and started the car.

The van drives away from the Dust 2 Dawn, as the windmill continued to turn. Once it drove out of sight, the cursed windmill disappeared, and the lights of the convenience store went out.

* * *

 **That the fifth chapter!** **I hoped you all liked the altered version of "the Inconveniencing".**

 **That's it for today. Please be sure to favorite and follow if you like the series. If you're already are, then please leave a review of the chapter, and PM me if you have a question or anything.**

 **Thank you for reading, and have a good day!**


	6. Dipper vs Manliness

Another day, another adventure in the not-so normal town of Gravity Falls. However, for this morning, Patrick was having everything but an adventure. He was in the Mystery Shack when Tyler Cutebiker came in and asked him about Christmas stuff. "Why would you want Christmas thinks?" He asked, while standing behind the register. "It's the summer."

"Well, you see, I like to get my Christmas shopping done early," Tyler informed him, while looking around the shop. "Do you have anything that's in the spirit of the season?"

Just then Stan entered the gift shop. When he saw Tyler, the old man groaned. "Ugh! He's still here?"

"The guy wouldn't go away unless we give him something Christmas-like," said Patrick.

Stan looked around the shop for anything to give the local enthusiast out of his shop, before spotting a bowl of broken glass on the counter. "Uh, how about these crystals?" Stan held out the bowl, hopping Tyler would buy it.

"Ha ha! Looks like broken glass," he said in a positive tone.

Patrick looked surprised at him. "Wow, even I thought that would work," he said, taking the bowl of glass out of Stan's hands and placing it back on the counter.

"Ooh! What is that new thing," Tyler asked before running off to see what he was talking about. Just then, Dipper and Mabel walked into the gift shop.

"Grunkle Stan?" said Dipper, as they approached the counter.

"Can we go to the diner," Mabel asked, before grabbing her stomach and playfully moved it up and down. "We're huuungry."

Dipper smiled and mimicked his sister. "Huuuuungry." The two siblings groaned loudly, holding their stomachs. They then hit their stomachs together three times, as Patrick laughed at the moment.

"You know what, we should go out for breakfast," the teenager told Stan. "It certainly beats what we're eating here."

"Yeah, sure. Soon as this yahoo makes up his mind," Stan told the three, pointing at Tyler. The man skinny man was now standing next to a fur trout hung on the wall.

"Do you have this in another animal," Tyler asked the Pines family.

Patrick gave him a look that brought out the bags under his eyes. He then looked at the twins, knowing that Stan would agree if he asked him. "Lock him inside?"

Mabel and Dipper nodded eagerly.

A moment later, the Pines kids watched as Stan locked Tyler in the gift shop by passing a long plank of wood into the handle of the front door and bracing it against the floor. With the enthusiast locked in the house, the family ran to the car and drove off as quickly as they could.

But Tyler didn't seem to notice at all. He was too busy trying to decide between two shirts he was holding up. One with a puma, and the other with a panther. "Puma shirt, panther shirt. Puma shirt, panther shirt. Puma shirt...panther shirt."

* * *

 **{Play** _ **Stranger Things**_ **theme by Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein}**

 **[0:00-0:03]**

 _At the beginning of the intro, there is nothing but blackness._

 **[0:03-0:08]**

 _Then about three seconds later, a bunch photographs started falling from above in slow motion._

 **[0:08-0:11]**

 _Getting a closer look at one of the photographs, while others twirled and spun in the background in slow motion, shows the town of Gravity Falls from a distance._

 **[0:11-0:14]**

 _Another picture shows the Mystery Shack during the night time, with bright lights shining thought the windows._

 **[0:14-0:16]**

 _One photo shows a thundering sky that had a large, flying creature's shadow being seen through the dark clouds. The camera then focuses on a picture behind the previous one, showing large claw marks on a tree trunk, as more photos were seen falling._

 **[0:16-0:19]**

 _Three photos are focused on now, one showing an angry Gnome, the second showing something that resembles the Long Ness Monster, and the third show a dinosaur tooth trapped in amber._

 **[0:19-0:25]**

 _The camera shows the cluster of photographs continuing to fall, before angling downwards to show all of them lying on a flat surface, collecting in a pile._

 **[0:25-0:40]**

 _The camera then gradually moves back to show more of the photos landing. After the last of the photos were on the surface, the camera moves upwards, displaying nothing but blackness again._

 **[0:40-45]**

 _Then the title of the story, including the red circle with triangle, appeared in a flash of light._

 _ **WEIRDER THINGS**_

 **[0:45-end]**

 _It then disappeared, before the chapter title appeared._

 **Chapter Six**

 **Dipper vs Manliness**

* * *

Greasy's Diner was the only diner in Gravity Falls. It was built to have the same shape and look of a log. The food was good, but one good look in the interior, and you could tell that any Heath Inspector wouldn't even touch the place with a thirty-nine-and-a-half-foot pole. Waitresses would often have to dive off woodpeckers, they would get in and start pecking into the wall, including beavers that would come out of holes in the floor.

The Pines family entered into the diner, pasting by Old Man McGucket, who had been drinking way too many cups of coffee. This caused him to shake with no control of his body while muttering, "Coffee! Coffee! Coffee! Coffee!"

They pasted Wendy and her father, Manly Dan. Manly Dan was eating a large chicken leg, while his daughter eating eggs and bacon. Wendy noticed gave them a wave. Patrick returned the gesture with his own.

As they sat down at a table, with Patrick and Dipper sitting on one side and Stan and Mabel sitting on the opposite side, the teenager then saw that both Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland were there too. Blubs was eating a tall stack of pancakes very quickly, with his partner using a speeding device to see how fast he was going, while chanting, "Go! Go! Go! Go!"

Patrick then saw a waitress chasing away a beaver with a broom. "When was the last time the Health Inspector came," he asked.

"There was no last time," Stan told him. Then Lazy Susan walked up to their table and the old man smiled at her. "Lazy Susan! There's my little ray of sunshine! Where were you yesterday?"

"I got hit by a bus!" She responded, seeming to not really mind at all.

Patrick's eyes widened. "Oh!"

But while he was surprised, Stan was laughing and slamming his fists on the table. "Ha ha ha ha! Hilarious!"

"Thank you," Lazy Susan said before laughing. "Ha ha ha ha hee hee ho ho ho." Patrick was more than certain the woman wasn't really alright in the head.

"You do split plates, right?"

"Maybe..." The odd woman grabbed the eyelid of her lazy eye, lifting it up and then closing it to make it look like she was winking. "Wink!"

"Great! We'll all split a one-fourth of the number seven, plus a free salad dressing for the lady a small plate of ketchup for the boy, and a small plate of mustard for the teen," Stan told her, lifting his hat to her with an oddly pleasing smile.

Lazy Susan wrote it down, but Patrick raised his hand to signal her not to leave. "Whoa! Whoa! Stan, that's not even close to being a snack," he said to his great uncle. "We didn't get away from the Shack and all the expired food you have in it just to go starving."

"Yeah Grunkle Stan, I want pancakes," Mabel said, pulling Stan's left sleeve.

"With the fancy flour they use these days? What am I, made of money?" He threw his hands up, causing a piece of money to poke out of Stan's sleeve. "Tap tap." He Tapped it back into the sleeve with a finger.

"Well, I say you should try our new Manliness Punching Challenge," Lazy Susan told them, getting the four to look at her with curiosity. "We just started it today, and it's simple. Whoever could punch the other person the hardest wins their party free food."

"But what if the two people are in the same party," Patrick asked.

Lazy Susan was silent for a moment, before her smile dropped. "What?"

"I know! Why don't we do it, Patrick," Dipper asked. Patrick thought for a moment. Considering how easily he could beat his cousin, it would mean ordering faster.

"Sure." Patrick got out of the booth and Dipper followed him. This caught the attention of everyone in the diner, as they wanted to see who would win. But most of them were sure that the teenager was going to win, given his size and age.

The two stood facing each other, and Lazy Susan stood on the side as the referee. Dipper brought up his fists like he was a boxer, while Patrick was mostly indifferent. "Ready…" said the woman. "GO!"

Dipper punched Patrick in the leg, but failed to hurt him. It felt like being hit by a little toddler. It was Patrick turn and his punch was so hard that it made him fly back a few feet before landing on the ground with a thud. He laid on the ground with a moan of pain.

A few minutes later and the Pines family was eating happily. All except for Dipper, who hadn't even touched his plate and was only moping. Patrick saw this as he took a bite of his eggs and asked, "What's with you?"

"I just don't get it! How come I wasn't able to beat you in that manly…punchies challenge?" Dipper exclaimed, pointing at his cousin with a glare.

"Manly," Stan asked.

"beat," Mabel then asked.

" _Him?_ " They both asked simultaneously, before suddenly bursting out into a laughing hysteria. Complete with throwing their heads back as they laughed, and Stan slammed his fist on the table, causing it to shake and Patrick to lift up his plate to make so the food doesn't fall off.

"He says he's... he says he..." The old con-artist couldn't finish his sentence and went back to laughing. "HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

"What," questioned Dipper, feeling very offended. "What's so funny?"

"You're kidding me right," Patrick asked.

"Oh, no offense Dipper, but you're never going to beat Patrick at punchies," Mabel said, trying to keep her laughter under control as she mocked her brother. "You're not exactly 'Manly Mannington.' Ha ha ha!"

"Hey, I am too "Manly... Manny" or whatever it is you said," responded Dipper, more offended than before. "And I could totally beat him at punchies!"

"Dude, you can't beat _anybody_ at punchies," Patrick told his cousin with a slight frown.

"That's not true!"

"Yes, it is."

 **Flashback # 1:** _The first flashback is when Dipper and Mabel were playing punchies. Dipper looked confident that his sister wouldn't beat him, but that was proven wrong when the sister punched him in the stomach. This caused Dipper great pain as he held his stomach and fell to his knees._

 **Flashback # 2:** _The second flashback is when Dipper challenged Soos to punchies. Dipper again looked confident that the large man wouldn't really hurt him, but then Soos punched him so hard that he sent the boy flying and slamming into the wall._

 **Flashback # 3:** _Third and finally flashback is when Dipper challenged Wendy. Patrick and Mabel watched with anticipation as Dipper again looked confident. Wendy reeled her fist back and punched him._

 _A few minutes later, Patrick, Wendy, and Mabel were outside of the Mystery Shack while watching Dipper being put in an ambulance and then taken away to a hospital._

"We-oo! We-oo! We-oo!" Patrick finished the flashback by making ambulance sounds. Dipper was blushing in embarrassment, while Stan and Mabel were puffing their cheeks, trying not to let out their laugher. The teenager then mimicked a doctor's voice. "Quick, doctor, both of these butt cheeks are unrecognizable. If we want anyone to be able to recognize this as a butt in the future, then we're gonna have to do a complete butt transplant, stat!" That caused both Stan and Mabel burst out laughing.

"Come on!" Dipper exclaimed with a pink face of embarrassment. "There was only damage to the one cheek and you know it!"

Now Patrick laughed. "That's right! We used to call you the One-Cheek Wonder! Ha-ha-ha!"

"Look, face the music, kid," Stan said to Dipper. "You got no muscles, you smell like baby wipes, and let's not forget last Tuesday's... 'incident.'"

— **(flashback)—**

 _In the morning on Tuesday, Dipper was in the bathroom wearing only a towel and singing at the mirror with a comb as the microphone. The song was a Top 40 hit song called_ "Disco Girl" _by an Icelandic pop group that called themselves BABBA._

" _Disco girl...coming through...that girl is you..."_

 _Stan suddenly walked in on him._

" _DON'T COME IN!_ DON'T COME IN!"

— **(flashback end)—**

"You were listening to girly Icelandic pop sensation 'BABBA'," asked Mabel.

"No. Heh heh, I wasn't," Dipper said. "It's not important. Look, come on guys, I'm plenty masculine. You see this chest hair?" He then brought down his shirt to show his chest, thinking that he had chest hair to show his manliness. However, what it did show was his smooth skin that shined so brightly that it was enough to force Mabel, Stan, and Patrick to cover their eyes.

"Put it away, put it away!"

"So smooth! My eyes!"

"Dude! I can see spots when I close my eyes!"

"Aw man..." Dipper puts down his shirt as Mabel and Stan start laughing again. The young boy then moved over Patrick's legs to get out of the booth as quickly as he could, taking the teenager by surprise.

"Dipper, where are you going," Patrick asked.

"I need to get some chest hair and fast," he responded started running out the diner, but tripped over the head of a beaver that pocked it's head out of the floor. Dipper was quick to recover and stood up. "I'm fine! Heh heh! Everything's fine!" He then exited the diner."

Patrick stared at the open doorway and then sighed, wiped his mouth, and stood up. "I'll make sure nothing happens to him," he told Stan and Mabel and walked out of the diner.

"Yeesh! How am I related to that," asked Stan, referring to Dipper with his weakness and awkwardness.

"Come on, Grunkle Stan. I'm sure deep down you have a soft side too," Mabel said, patting his arm.

"Ha! Nothing in here but a cold, dark, empty soul," he replied, before Lazy Susan came back with another plate of eggs and bacon.

"Food!" She said.

"Thanks there, sugar pot," Stan said, before quickly trying to correct himself. "I-I mean, I mean uh honey wasp, kitten baby, b-baby cow."

"Ha ha! Silly!" Lazy Susan then walked away from their table. "Silly man..."

Mabel, however was confused by the unusual behavior Stan showed and looked at her Great Uncle for an explanation. "What was that about," she asked.

"Nothing," Stan answered quickly, as his face was dripping with sweat. "I don't wanna talk about it. Talk about what?" He looked down and rubbed the table. "Why is this table wet?"

"Wait just a second." Mabel interrupted him as her brain started piecing together the puzzle of why Stan was acting strange. "I think I have an idea happening here. You..."

"No!"

"And her…"

"Stop it!" But all of Stan's protests were in vain as Mabel let out a short scream. "Oh boy."

"You have a thing for Lazy Susan," Mabel exclaimed, shacking Stan by his right arm as he placed a hand on his forehead to mend his headache. "You do have a soft side!"

Stan stopped her from talking any more by putting his finger over her mouth "Keep it down, will ya?!" He told her, looked around to make sure that no one was listening to them. "Alright. I admit it, okay? It would be nice if she liked me. But I've been out of the game for so long I wouldn't know where to start. I mean, look at her." He gestures to Lazy Susan. "She's so classy."

"Spin, ya dumb pies, spin!" Lazy Susan yelled while banging her fist on the top of a spinning pie trolley—that wasn't spinning.

Mabel responded by grabbing Stan by the face and forcing him to look at her. "Grunkle Stan, you are a cranky, gross, weird old man," she told him with a look of determination as she brought his face close to her's. "But we will get Lazy Susan to like you because nothing is stronger than the power of—"

"Love," asked Stan, after Mabel pressed their cheeks together.

"Mabel," answered the girl, before picking up her salad dressing that was still brought to them, even after Patrick won the Manliness Punching Challenge. "To victory!" She then drank the dressing.

* * *

Meanwhile, Patrick was walking down the street looking for where Dipper went to. For someone who didn't have a lot of strength, the boy was surprisingly fast. While walking, Patrick wondered why Dipper was so upset about not being able to beat him at punchies. Was it because it was just another reminder of how weak he was? Was it because he wanted to be strong? For what he heard from his aunt and uncle, Dipper was always getting picked on and bully, with Mabel always coming to rescue him.

He was brought out of his thoughts and stopped when he saw something that would mentally scar him forever. Both Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland were running around with their shirts off and screaming in delight around a destroyed hydrant that spraying out water.

Looking away as quickly as he could and wished to never see something as disturbing as that today, Patrick approached a woman wearing a green scout uniform and brown hiking boots. "'Cuse me, ma'am," he said, getting her to look at him. "Have you seen a boy with a hat walking by?"

"Oh, yes," she said. "I asked him where I could find the mailman, but it seemed to upset him, and he ran off in that direction crying." The woman pointed down an alley that led into the woods.

"Thank you." Patrick nodded and starting walking towards the forest.

Traveling through the forest, Patrick looked all around for his cousin. Hoping that he could possibly find him before some dangerous wild animal gets him first. "Dipper!" He called to him once, pasting between two trees. "Dipper!" He called again, going over a fallen tree. Patrick then walked into a small opening and called out again. "Dipper—" The teenager stopped when he noticed something on the ground.

An awkward silence filled the air with not even birds chirping, as Patrick stared at Dipper who laying on his back while bench pressing a small branch. The boy on the ground stared back at his cousin with wide eyes, as he held up the branch. "…Hey"

"…Hey…" Patrick said with a raised eyebrow. "What are you doing?" Dipper tossed the branch aside and grabbed the edge of his shirt.

"Trying to give myself chest hair," the boy responded before looking into his shirt. "Nothing yet." He then fell backwards onto the ground. "How does it happen, Patrick? Is it physical, is it mental, what's the secret?"

"It's not that simple, Dipper," Patrick told him, sitting down on a stump. "It's all got to do with your body. You're only twelve and haven't even hit puberty."

"Yeah, but I just want to be more than…" he gestured to his body. "This. I want to get manlier quicker than I am now. I want to be more like you. Strong and not afraid of anything."

"Come on, that's not true," Patrick said, shaking his head. "There's many things I'm afraid of."

"Like what?" Dipper sat up and looked skeptically at Patrick, pulling out a bag of jerky from his jacket.

Patrick was silent for a moment. "I—"

He was suddenly interrupted when the ground began shaking very hard. The two then heard a large roar in the distant. Looking at where it came from, they saw various animals and birds flying or running in the opposite direction of the noise. All the creatures ran past them, before Manly Dan came their way. "For the love of all that's holy, run!" He yelled before running off.

Patrick then heard the sound of a tree falling and looked up. There was indeed a tree beginning to fall over. "Look out!" He grabbed his cousin in one arm and grabbed Dipper's hat that was on a stump. He then jumped out of the way before the tree could squish them.

As they were on the ground, another roar is heard, and both boys looked over the top of the fallen tree. Dipper grabbed his hat from Patrick and placed it back on his head. They looked up in fear as the shadow of a creature approached them. It's footsteps causing the ground to shake and rumble.

The creature was a very tall, muscular and hairy minotaur that was wearing a loincloth around his waist and a red yamaka on its head. It's beard in a pony tail, has side curls in its hair and a tattoo with the male gender sign on its left shoulder. Its chest and forearms were covered in thick mats of hair, in a way that could only be matched by Manly Dan.

The minotaur let out another loud roar, and Patrick and Dipper screamed in terror. But Dipper's was more of a high pitch. Realizing that it wasn't manly at all, the boy said, "Wait...sorry." He then tried to scream on a lower octave but ended up coughing.

Luckily for them the roar was just a yawn. The minotaur then reached into a large bush and pulled out a deer, before proceeding to scratch itself with the animal's antlers. When it was done, the beast threw the deer away.

When it hits the ground, deer got up and ran off.

The mythological monster then turned its head in the direction of Patrick and Dipper. The two tried to hide behind the log, but the minotaur knocked it away. With nothing to protect them, Patrick quickly stood up and brought out his crowbar. "Stay back! I'm warning you, man! I'm not afraid to use this to knock your head off!"

"Yeah, and you don't want to eat us! We haven't showered! In like a week! And, we're all elbows! Elbows, and gristle!"

"YOU...!" The minotaur roared, pointing a figure at Dipper, causing him to scream. "…Gonna finish that?"

Patrick and Dipper looked at one another, before the latter said to the minotaur, "No." He tossed the bag of jerky to the creature's hooves. It then crouched down and started eating the jerky off of the ground.

The two Pines boys looked at the being in disbelief. "I can't believe it," Patrick said, lowering his crowbar. "You're an actual minotaur."

"NO!" The minotaur creature yelled, pointing at Patrick, before raising its fist. "I'm a manotaur! Half man!" It punched the ground, causing Dipper's to bounce off it, and Patrick to try a keep balance. "Half...uh...half taur!" It punched the ground again, this time making the teenager fall over onto his butt.

"So, did we, like, summon you or—?" Dipper asked before being interrupted.

"The smell of jerky summoned me! JERKY!" The beast then punched a tree, breaking it down for almost no reason before smashing a rock against his head, breaking into a hundred pieces. "YEAH! Ha ha! Heh." It's testosterone-fueled moment came to a halt when it seemed to have noticed something and started sniffing the air. It looked at Dipper and Patrick, before getting it's face close to them and smelt the two. "The small one…I smell..." it stood up with the wind in its hair. "…emotional issues!"

"I have problems, Manotaur," Dipper told it. "Man-related problems."

The Manotaur sat down on the ground, making the two humans bounce, and patted it's leg for Dipper.

Resting his head on its leg, Dipper started explaining. "Well, my own uncle called me a wimp..."

"Uh-huh, uh-huh."

"And I kind of flunked this manliness punchies thing..."

"You're a twelve-year old kid, Dipper." Patrick pointed out to his with his legs and arms crossed. "Of course, you weren't going to beat me. Just accept it." He then stood up and dusted himself off, before walking away. "Now let's not waste the man-bull thing anymore and go back to the Shack."

However, this in turn gave Dipper an idea. "Hey, you know, you seem pretty manly. Maybe you could give me some pointers," he asked, causing Patrick to stop and look at him like he's crazy.

"What!?"

However, the manotaur stood up. "Very well," he said, before turning around and showing Dipper his back hair, which was covered in flies and smelt like a wet rug. "Climb atop my back hair, child!"

"Uh... okay," Dipper said, before climbing on.

"Wait, Dipper!" Patrick went over to the two and grabbed the manotaur's back hair. "What do you think you're—AH!"

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha!" The manotaur laughed when it suddenly started running through the forest with Dipper on his back and Patrick hanging on for dear life with only one hand. His body was dragged across the ground, getting the front of his body and face bruised and cut up. He grabbed onto the back hair with his other hand and started climbing upwards on the manotaur.

The manotaur jumped and crashed through a tree, almost causing Patrick to lose his grip, before landing and kept on running. While on his back, Dipper ended up getting hit in the face by first a branch, and then a nest full of baby birds. Pushing it off his face, he saw that the manotaur was running straight for a gorge with a mountain on the other side. "Dude, watch out!"

However, the beast didn't stop running and when he got to the edge of the gorge, he jumped over it. "YEAH!"

"AAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Dipper and Patrick screamed loudly in fear. However, it turned out to be okay when the manotaur made it over, crashing through the side of a mountain, which left a hole in the shape of his body in it.

Patrick groaned and fell off the manotaur's back, while Dipper uncovered his eyes and opened them. "Whoa…" he said in wonder by the sight he saw.

"What," asked Patrick as he rubbed the back of his head and sat up. When he saw what Dipper was looking at, even he was surprised. "Oh my…"

If there was any way to describe the cave they were in, it would be that it was like giant, rocky mancave filled with more manotaurs. The manotaur were either bodybuilding, playing games like darts and foosball, or wrestling.

"This place is amazing," exclaimed Dipper, after getting off the manotaur and Patrick joining him.

"The gnomes live in the trees, the merpeople live in the water, 'Cause they're losers!" The manotaur said in a wise way at first, before that last part which gave Patrick a bad feeling. "But we Manotaurs, crash in the MAN CAVE!" He walked up to a gong, before picking up a bone off the ground and hitting the instrument with it, getting the attention of all the other manotaurs. "BEASTS! I have brought you, a hairless child!"

He pushed the two Pines boys forward.

"…S'up," Dipper said.

"Hello," Patrick said.

The manotaur that brought them to the cave then started pointing to two manotaurs fighting. "This is, uh, Pubetor, Testosteror—" he then pointed to one that was smelling its armpit. "—Pituitor, and I'm Chutzpar. And you are?"

"My name's Dipper..."

"Hi, I'm Patrick."

However, the other manotaurs started booing at them.

"The...uh, Destructor?" Dipper added, before pointing to Patrick. "And the…ah, Punisher?"

Patrick looked at him with a 'really?' look, before then the manotaurs started nodding in agreement. "Yeah. Yeah, that's better."

Then Chutzpar banged the gong again. "Dipper the Destructor wants us to teach him the secrets to our manliness," he announced to his fellow creatures.

"I need your help!" Dipper begged, before pulling down his shirt to show his hairless chest. "Look at this, guys! Look at this!"

This got some of the manotaurs thinking, before one of them said, "I must confer with the High Council." The manotaurs turned around and huddled. They then started discussing among themselves. "So…teach him our man secrets or what?"

"He's a human; I don't like him," said one man-bull.

"I DON'T LIKE YOUR FACE!" yelled another one, before punching the previous manotaur. This caused all of them to start an all-out brawl. Patrick and Dipper watched the fighting with wide eyes.

Dipper then smiled. "I like these guys." Patrick looked at him like he was insane.

* * *

Meanwhile, back the Mystery Shack, Stan was sitting at the kitchen table shuffling cards. With nothing to do and the Shack closed for the day (Tyler was still in the gift shop), the old man had to do something to keep himself occupied. However, it looked like his peaceful afternoon was going to be cut short when Mabel walked to him with a camera hanging from her neck. "Okay, Grunkle Stan. Welcome to the first day of whatever is left of your life! First, a before picture," she said and took a picture of him, however the flash startled Stan enough to make him yelp and put up his hands.

The picture that came out made Stan look like something from a horror movie.

However, Mabel wasn't bothered by it. "I never miss a scrapbookertunity!" She said with a made-up word, before opening scrapbook that had the photos of the Twins and Patrick's summer together. "Deedly dum, memories." She turned to a blank page and slapped the picture on it. "Bleep. Let's start out with some roleplaying." Mabel then gestured to Wendy and Soos. The latter was wearing a costume to make himself look like Lazy Susan but didn't wear a wig to complete the image…to an extent. "Soos will play Lazy Susan."

"I'm soft, like a woman," Soos told Wendy.

"I don't even know why I'm here," Wendy said.

"Grunkle Stan, show me how you approach a woman," Mabel instructed the old man, so Stan did as he was told and walked over to Soos. "Remember this is a safe, non-judgmental environment. I'll just be right off the side judging you on a scale from one to ten."

Stan approached Soos while rubbing his right arm in uneasiness. Soos played his role by batting his eyes. After walking up to him, the old man spitted to the side and asked, "Can I borrow some money?"

Mabel ended the patience by blowing a whistle, with Wendy standing next to her. "This is gonna be harder than I thought," the sister twin said.

Wendy then looked around the room and then asked Mabel, "Say, where's Patrick and Dipper?"

* * *

"After a lot of punching," a manotaur told Dipper and Patrick back in the man cave, "we have decided to deny your request to learn our manly secrets."

"Denied!" yelled another manotaur, and then punched himself in the face.

"Denied," Dipper asked dolefully.

"Well, that's a shame," Patrick quickly said, wanting to get out of the cave that smelt like an unclean gym locker-room. He turned around and started walking away. "Come on, Dipper. Let's get out of here." However, his cousin wasn't going to give up that easily.

"Ok, fine. That's ok with me," he said to the manotaur, making Patrick look back at him. "Obviously you guys think it would be too hard to train me. Maybe, you're not _man_ enough to try."

This immediately got the manotaurs mad, and Patrick to get scared for his cousin's safety. "Not MAN enough!?" roared one of the manotaur.

"Dipper…" Patrick said cautiously, running back over to the boy. "I think that's enough out of you…"

"Not MAN enough!?" repeated the same manotaur, stomping over to them furiously.

Patrick laughed nervously. "Heh heh. Okay, let's take a deep breath."

"I have three Y chromosomes, six adam's apples, pecs on my abs and FISTS FOR NIPPLES!" The beast flexed to show the nipple-fists he had.

"Okay, one: that is just disgusting on so many levels. Two: He didn't mean it. I swear."

"No, I meant it," Dipper said with a smug look.

"Heh ha! I really think you _didn't_." Patrick gave him a warning look.

"Seems to me you're too _scared_ to teach me how to be a man. Hey, do you guys hear that? It sounds like.. Bock-bock. Bock. Oh, that's weird-Bocock, bocAW! Is that?-BACAWK! That sounds like-BACAW! Yeah, a bunch of chickens!"

The manotaurs gasped.

"Could you excuse us for a moment," Patrick said, before grabbing Dipper by the throat and picked him up. Then shook him while choking the boy out of anger. "Are you out of your MIND! These guys could rip us apart!"

"I-I-I…can't breathe." Dipper managed to say, so Patrick lets him go and the male twin fell on his butt. "I didn't have a choice. So, I'm tricking them into helping me become a man."

"After a second round of deliberation," said a manotaur, getting the two Pines attention, "we have decided to help you become a man!"

"Man! Man! Man!" chanted the other manotaurs.

"Great!" Dipper expressed his happiness and stepped forward. "Thanks guys, whatever it is, I will not let you down."

* * *

A moment later, and they were now all outside of the man cave.

"Being a man is about conquering your fears," Chutzpar said to Dipper.

"For your first man test," said a manotaur, who Patrick thought was called Testosteraur, "you must plunge your fist-INTO THE PAIN HOLE!" He pointed to a hole in the ground with a sign that had its name next to it.

The manotaurs winced, while Dipper looked unsure and Patrick looked confused. "Why do you call it the Pain Hole," the teenager asked.

Testosteraur demonstrated by putting his fist into the hole. When nothing happened, he started mocking it. "Pain hole, schmainhole-WAHHH! AHHH!" He started screaming in complete and total agony, as his body sweated, and he tried to keep it together slapping himself in the face. "AHH!" He couldn't take it anymore and pulled out of the hole. Testosteraur ran away, catering to hand.

"I don't think this is a good idea," Patrick told Dipper.

"You want Destructor to be a man, don't you," Chutzpar demanded.

"Man! Man! Man! Man!" The rest of the manotaurs chanted, while one of them grabbed another manotaur in a headlock and started punching him in the face. Patrick looked back down at Dipper. Dipper stared at his cousin for a moment, before frowning and going to the Pain Hole.

Kneeling down, he put his hand in the hole and…

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

Screamed like a girl.

* * *

Back at the Shack.

"Alright! Let's try to get that inner beauty on the outside," Mabel said, sitting at the table and Stan stood in front of her. "Smile harder."

Stan struggled to make an even unconvincing smile. It looked more like he was enraged.

Mabel stood up in her chair. "Harder!"

He still struggled to smile.

"Perfect," Mabel was happy with what she was able to get. "Soos!"

Upon hearing his name, Soos entered the room while eating a sandwich. "Sup, hambone," he said, before taking another bit of the sandwich.

"Wha'd'you think?" Mabel gestured to Stan. But when Soos saw the way Stan looked, the large man screamed, threw his sandwich in the air, and ran out of the shack, leaving the door swinging on its hinges. Mabel signed in frustration. "This is going to take some really great training music." She held up a CD label 'Training Mix' and puts it in a CD player.

She pressed play.

But we're going to use much better music.

 **(Play "** _ **Holding Out for a Hero**_ **" by Bonnie Tyler)**

Dipper tied ropes around his body and shoulders, before starting to try a pull a wagon that a few of the manotaurs were in. While the manotaurs chanted and, Dipper fell down, and Patrick ran over to help him up. When he did, the manotaurs booed at him. Seeing this, Dipper pulled himself away from his cousin and continued to try and pull the cart.

Mabel and Wendy were now trying groom Stan. The redhead spread some green gel onto his face, and then Mabel put cucumber slices on his eyes. But then Stan quickly ate the slices.

Now in the bathroom, Mabel used a razor and shaved off some of Stan's chest-hair. Only for it to grow back instantly. Mabel glared at the man's chest and started to shave it furiously, only for the hair to grow back.

Chutzpar showed Dipper (shirtless) a human man with his shirt off, pointing to his chest-hair. The manotaur then took out some glue and spread it on the boy's chest, before taking some of his chest-hair and putting it on Dipper.

Mabel and Wendy cheered for Stan as he tried to balance some books that were placed on his head.

Dipper was now trying to walk on the heads of alligators. When one of them was about to bite at him, a rock was thrown at it hits it in the head. The person who did it turned out to be Patrick. The manotaurs booed at him, with even Dipper glaring at him before continuing his task.

Stan scratched his back, even though Mabel was holding up a sign that said, "Stop Scratching." So, she hits him with it, before showing him a sign that said, "Eye contact."

Dipper then tried to jump the gorge, only to fall, into it. However, Patrick quickly grabbed him before he was out of reach. The teenager pulled his cousin up and onto the ground, but then Dipper surprised him by yanking his arm out of his hold and walked away. The young boy then stopped a few meters away, before running towards the gorge again and then jumped. Dipper made it across and cheered out loud. While Patrick was glad he made it, he couldn't help but feel sad for how Dipper was acting toward him.

 **(End song)**

* * *

The next day, the manotaurs and Dipper in some of the hot spring that were in the caves.

"Guys, I just wanna say that these last few hours have been...I-I feel like there's really been some growth," Dipper said.

"I have a growth!" said a manotaur named Clark, pointing to a large grown on the left side of his head.

"Clark, you are hilarious today!" Dipper chuckled, before Patrick came over and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"You and I need to talk," he told him.

"Hello, I'm in the middle—" Dipper wasn't able to finish when Patrick grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the hot spring. Luckily, he was wearing a towel around his waist. "HEY!"

"Not anymore!" Patrick pulled his cousin away from the manotaurs. "Because we're leaving!"

"What!?"

Chutzpar stood up in the hot spring. "If you leave, Destructor," he said with a stern voice, "you're training is forfeited, and you will not become a man!"

"Man! Man! Man!" chanted the other manotaurs.

Upon hearing this, Dipper quickly yanked his arm out of Patrick's grip. "No! I'm not going anywhere!" He exclaimed indignantly. "Especially since you've been holding me back!"

"Holding you back?!" Patrick exclaimed furiously.

"Yeah, the manotaurs told me that a real man doesn't need help," Dipper told him. "You've been trying to help me all day, when I have to learn to face those challenges on my own!"

Patrick sighed, irritated. "These guys are nothing but a bad influence, Dipper. All they're telling you to do are these dangerous and meaningless tasks and to be aggro all the time. You're just doing them all because you want to have a single piece of hair on your chest. Even if that happens, nothing is going to change."

Dipper narrowed his eyes. "So, you're saying that I never had a chance at being a man, huh? Is that it? Were you really not wanting me to become a man? Were you happy that you were the only manly one and that me trying to be a man threatens you? You said that you were scared of many things, and you know what…that makes you less of a man than me. It makes you weak!"

The manotaurs cheered for Dipper. That this point, Patrick heartbroken by Dipper's words. However, his saddened look turned to a glare. "Fine. If you want to be like these guys, and be a jerk, then I wouldn't stop you. See you around, One-Cheek Wonder," he said, adding in the insult, before turning around and storming away from his cousin, and out of the man cave.

For a moment, Dipper felt very guilt for how he treated him. In fact, he was grateful that Patrick was there to help him out, but the manotaurs were the ones who were training him to be a man. And that means they knew what was best for him. He felt a hand rest itself on his shoulder and looked to see it was Chutzpar. "You did the right thing," he said. "Now there's nothing to hold you back."

"I couldn't have done it without all of you," Dipper said happily. "It's just you guys took me under your wing and have just been so supportive."

Chutzpar made a hand gesture. "Oh, stop."

"No, you know what? You really have been. I think I feel like I'm finally becoming a man here."

The manotaur waved his hand. "Not yet, Destructor. One final task remains," Chutzpar told him. "The deadliest trial of all."

"I've survived forty-nine other trials," Dipper said with a raised fist, "Whatever it is, bring it on!" The manotaurs cheered for him.

Moments later, and the manotaurs were preparing Dipper for his final test. The man cave was now dark, with a few of the bull-men lighting torches. Standing On a platform in the middle of the room, Chutzpar was preparing the young boy for his test. Licking a lick 'n stick tattoo, the manotaur then applied it to Dipper's right arm. It reads "Rad Dude", while the other arm had a tattoo that said "Too Cool". Dipper stood up, his body covered in many other tattoos while wearing only a loincloth, wearing a face of determination. In front of him, a front row of manotaurs kneel before him. The row behind then takes out bones and started drumming on the others' head with them.

"Behold our leader, Leaderaur!" announced Churtzpar, gesturing towards a cave that had two guards standing in front of it. The two guards parted, and Dipper was a little surprised to see a small, old, smelly hunched manotaur walking out of the cave.

"Rum te tum tum..." the old manotaur hummed.

"Is he like the oldest, or wisest, or...?" Dipper asked.

The old manotaur raised a hand slowly. "Greetings, young—" The old one never finished, because suddenly a mouth came down out of nowhere and chopped down on him. The old manotaur screamed in agony, as blood gushed out of where the teeth of the jaws snuck into his body. The mouth then picked him up.

"Naw, he's just the offering," Chutzpar told Dipper, while the young boy was shocked and horrified by the death of the old manotaur. He then pointed upwards. " _That_ is Leaderaur."

Dipper was astonished by the appearance of Leaderaur. Unlike the other manotaur, this one was gigantic! He towered over all of them with his extremely muscular body. His fur was black, with patches of grass on his shoulders and on his chest, which had a long red scar on it. His teeth were defined, and stuck out of his mouth, and he had dull long horns; one of which had a broken tip. His eyes were glowing red. Like the others, he wore a loincloth, but it was like it was made out of several regular-sized loincloths stitch together.

The giant manotaur chewed the offering, with the sickening sounds of bones breaking and fresh tearing, making Dipper's stomach turn as he cringed. Luckily it was over when Leaderaur swallowed his food and licked the blood off his lips. He then turned his body towards Dipper, his footstep caused the inside of the cave to rumble. "You - You wish to be a man," he asked the boy.

Dipper let out a small battle cry and banged his chest. Together, the manotaurs cheered for their student.

"Then for your final test: you must do heroic act, go to highest mountain…" Leaderaur paused for a moment and, with claws for his fingers, shoved his hand deep into his chest. He screamed in agony, while Dipper's face cringed. Leaderaur then pulled out a spear that was covered in his blood. "…bring back head of...the Multi-Bear!" Once finished, he tossed the spear at Dipper's feet.

The manotaurs gasped in shocked, but Dipper was 'more confused. "The Multi-Bear? Is that some sort of bear...?"

"He's our sworn enemy! Conquer him and your mansformation will be complete," Leaderaur told him.

"Conquer?" Dipper maybe young, but he knew that it meant one thing. He had to _kill_ the Multi-Bear. It felt like something in his chest was tightening his heart, telling him that this was wrong. He was only twelve. What does he know about killing? "I don't know, man."

However, Chutzpar then noticed something. The loincloth Dipper wore didn't cover up his butt completely, with a bit of his scared butt cheek showing. "Destructor, is that a scar on your butt," he questioned, causing Dipper to quickly turn around and cover his butt. "Is that why Punisher called you 'One-Cheek Wonder'?"

"Oh no! Ha ha, no that's not why, I just got it in this crazy fight," he lied to cover up his embarrassing scar. "It was totally manly, by the way." However, it didn't seem to convince the manotaurs all too much. Some were even starting to question if Dipper was really going to be able to kill the Multi-Bear. Dipper had to figure out a way to divert from the subject and looked back at the spear. He walked up to it and stared down at it. He then glared at it. He's come this far and wasn't going home unit he proved to Patrick that he was capable of becoming a man.

Dipper picked up the spear and held it over his head. "I SHALL CONQUER THE MULTI-BEAR!"

The manotaurs cheered, and Leaderaur spouted fire from his nose.

A fire spark fell on Dipper's shoulder, which he quickly put out. "I'm okay!"

He then turned towards the exit of the cave and ran at full speed. Once he was out of the man cave, he jumped the gorge and ran into the forest. The clouds in the sky darkened as he trekked through the forest, jumping over fallen trees and cutting branches and vines that were in his way. He then jumped onto the trunk of a tree and began climbing upwards. Once he reached the top, he looked to the north and saw where his target was at: the highest mountain in Gravity Falls. Thundercloud floated around it, as lightning shot out. He stopped to take a break only once, drink handfuls of water from a stream. Next to him was a male deer. When they looked at each other, Dipper nodded at it and the buck nodded back. He was then able to reach the mountain. Using his spear, he jumped over separate edges and climbed the face of the rocky mountain until he finally reached his destination: The Multi-Bears cave.

"I'm coming for you, Multi-Bear."

* * *

Patrick was finally able to make it back to the Mystery Shack. Still upset with Dipper, he opened the door and walked in. In the living room, Mabel, Wendy, and Soos heard the door close and turned their heads towards him. While Wendy and Soos were able to see that something was making Patrick upset and sad, Mabel ignored it and ran to him. "Patrick! You're finally here!"

"Mabel, I'm not really in the mood," Patrick groaned, but Mabel just grabbed his hand and dragged him over to the living room.

"Come on!" Mabel exclaimed. When they reached the living room, she had him sit in the recliner, before getting onto one of the armrests. She then held a picture of Stan in front of his face, blocking Patrick's view. "This is how we started Grunkle Stan as," she said. "But after hard work and determination, he's become…" she lifted up the picture, and Patrick was surprised.

Stan looked worse than he did in the picture. He was a mess. His tank-top was stained. He had a slipper missing, and the bare foot had flies around it. He was hairier, and sweating. There was even a Q-tip sticking out of one of his ears.

Patrick stared at him with wide eyes, along with Wendy and Soos. Mabel most have seen it too, because she looked at Stan in disgust. "You wanted to make him look worse than he already did," asked Patrick.

"No! No, no, no!" Mabel shouted in frustration. "Is that throw up on your shirt?"

Stan glanced down at it. "I don't know how to answer that," he said. Mabel finally gave up, groaning and ripped the picture she had in two.

"Could someone tell me what's going on," Patrick asked.

"We were trying to make Stan look good, so he could ask Lazy Susan on a date," Mabel said.

The teen looked surprised at her. "Stan likes Lazy Susan?"

"Face it, Mabel. Your uncle's unfixable," Wendy told her. "Like that spitting pie thing in the diner."

However, this gave Mabel an idea. She jumped off the couch armrest. "Grunkle Stan, come with me!" She said, running to the door. But then she poked her head back into the room. "And leave your pants at home!"

"With pleasure!" Stan said, before walking to Mabel.

Patrick looked at the doorway before getting up out of the chair and walking out of the room to follow them. "Mabel, what are you doing?!"

* * *

Back with Dipper, the young boy was entering into the cave. Ready to kill the Multi-Bear so he could become a man.

The more he looked at it like that, the more he questioned if it sounded right.

However, he was cut from his thoughts when he stepped on something that snapped. Looking down, Dipper saw it was a bone he stepped on. One of many bones that littered the floor of the cave.

Dipper kneeled down and picked up one of the bones, staring at it intensely. "What _is_ a Multi-bear," he asked, not noticing a strangely shaped object starting to move behind him. It was only when the thing started to growl beastly-like that he turned his head towards the sound. He gasped in shock upon seeing what was standing there. "Oh, that's a multi-bear."

The Multi-Bear was a large black bear with eight heads and twelve limbs. It had one main head, which was surrounded by four other heads on its neck region. There were three other heads, one on the creature's back attached to a partially formed separate body, and one in each of its two crotches. It had two sets of arms, and two sets of legs, as well as an additional, vestigial set of limbs on the partially formed body on its back. It was actually like looking at three sperate bears that were attached together.

Standing upright, the main head roared. Then many of the other bear heads started roaring too. The main head then surprised Dipper by speaking. "Bear heads, silence!" They stopped, but one head kept going. So, it hits the head on the snout a couple of times, until stopped roaring. "Child, why have you come here," it then asked Dipper.

Dipper got over his surprise and glared at the bear. "Multi-bear! I seek your head!" He proclaimed. "Or, one of them, anyway? There's like-what? Six heads?"

"This is foolish!" The Multi-Bear exclaimed. "Leave now! Or die!" But Dipper wasn't leaving. He pointed his spear at the Multi-Bear. "So be it!"

The heads of the bear started roaring. Its breath was strong enough to blow the bow away, and even force Dipper to resist its wind. When the Multi-Bear was done roaring, it charged at Dipper.

However, with his training to help him, Dipper avoided the attack by running up the wall. The Multi-Bear passed him, and the boy landed back on the ground. He saw the creature skid to a stop, before smacking a pile of bones at him. Dipper quickly ran to the left, avoiding the bones as they stabbed into the cave's wall, before ducking behind a large rock.

The Multi-Bear approached the rock. Dipper looked at his hand and saw that had a small cut. Luckily it wasn't bleeding, and he quickly focused on his fight. He jumped on top of the rock, and a one of the bear's heads lunged at him to take a bit out of the small boy. Dipper quickly jumped up and landed on the head, before running up the body of the creature, dodging one head and then another, until he got behind the main head.

Using his spear, he started to choke the main head. The Multi-Bear tried to fight back, but Dipper forced it to step backwards. Without air, the beast fell down on its side, causing a dust cloud.

When the dust settled, Dipper was standing on top of the Multi-Bear. He breathed heavily from all the fighting, and the Multi-Bear looked up at him. "A real man shows no mercy!" Dipper exclaimed, raising his spear to make kill.

Multi-Bear sighed in defeat. "Very well, warrior," he said. "But will you grant a magical beast one last request?"

Dipper lowered the spear as he looked a little confused. "Uh…Okay."

"I wish to die listening to my favorite song," Multi-Bear said, turning his main head towards a tape player that was set on top of a rock. While wondering why the bear would have the player, Dipper jumped off and walked to it. "The tape is already in there. You can just hit any—" Dipper pressed the button, and the song started playing. "Yeah, yeah, that's it."

However, when he heard the song that was playing, Dipper was shocked to hear it was _"Disco Girl"_. He looked back at Multi-Bear and saw it nodding its head to the song. "You listen to Icelandic pop group BABBA," he asked the creature. "I-I love BABBA."

"I thought I was the only one," Multi-Bear said. "All the manotaurs made fun of me because I know all the words to the song "Disco Girl."

"Oh, you mean: _Disco girl..."_ Dipper sang the first line of the song.

Multi-Bear followed up with the next lines. " _Coming through..._ "

They both then sang. " _That girl is you! Oo-oo o-oo!"_

Dipper laughed for joy. "This is crazy! Finally, someone who-who understands—" he stopped when he looked down at Multi-Bear, who was staring at him. "uh... Oh yeah. I guess I'm supposed to kill you? Or I'll never be a man?"

"I accept my fate."

"No! ... Really?"

"It's for the best," said Multi-Bear.

Dipper scowled, before raising his spear and…

* * *

…stabbed it into the floor of the man cave.

"I'm not gonna do it," he said to Leaderaur, shocking the other manotaurs.

"You were told!" said Leaderaur, sitting on his throne as he glared angrily at Dipper. "The price of man is the multi-bear's head!"

But Dipper wasn't going to back down now. "Listen, Leaderaur, alright?" He turned around and started pointing out some of the other manotaurs sternly. "You too, Tesosteraur, Pubertaur, and... I don't know, whatever your name is. B-Beardy."

"It's Beardy," the last manotaur clarified.

"You keep telling me that being a man means doing all these tasks, and being aggro all the time, but I'm starting to think that stuff's malarkey," Dipper proclaimed.

The manotaurs gasped.

"You heard me, malarkey. So maybe I don't have muscles, or hair in certain places, and you know what?" Dipper turned around and lifted up the flap on his loincloth that covered his butt, showing them the scar on his one cheek. "The reason I'm called the 'One-Cheek Wonder' is because I got this scar after lost in a punchies game." He lets the flap go and looked at them again. "And sure, when a girly pop song comes on the radio, sometimes, I leave it on! 'Cause dang it, top 40 hits are in the top 40 for a reason! They're catchy!"

"Destructor…" Chutzpar said, and Dipper turned towards him. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that…" Dipper paused for a second, noting that he'll have to find his cousin and apologies to him when he's done. "Patrick was right about you guys all along," he said. "You're nothing but a bunch of jerks! And I was blind to not see it from the beginning."

Enrage, Leaderaur stood up from his throne and destroyed the spear with a backhanded fist. "KILL THE MULTI-BEAR OR NEVER BE A MAN!" He yelled into Dipper's face.

"…Then I guess I'll never be a man."

"Boooo! Weak!" Chutzpar said, before the other manotaurs joined in the booing. "Hey guys! Who wants to go build something and knock it down!" The manotaurs and Leaderaur cheered and ran out of the man cave, chanting "Man!" several times. Upset about what happened, Dipper kicked a rock away and started making his way out.

* * *

At Greasy's Diner, Lazy Susan was the only one in the shop and she was banging the top of the pie trolley. "SPIN! SPIN!" However, she stopped when she heard the door opening and the bell ringing. Looking, she saw Mabel leading Stan by the hand towards her, with Patrick walking behind them.

"Lazy Susan," Mabel said, as the family approached the woman. "Listen: I know he's not much to look at, but you're always fixing stuff in the diner, and if you like fixing stuff, nothing can use more fixing than my Grunkle Stan! Also, women live longer than men, so your dating pool is smaller, and you should really lower your standards."

"So, Lazy Susan, what do you say," Stan asked hopefully, as she climbed down her ladder.

Lazy Susan remained silent as she looked over Stan. She then left, making Stan depress. Patrick walked up to him and patted him on the back. "At least you tried," he said, before the three of them began walking away.

"Heeeeyyyy!" They turned around and saw that Lazy Susan had come back, holding a piece of paper with a phone number on it, as well as a pie in her other hand. "Here's my number. Why don't you give me a call sometime?"

Stan took the number and looked surprised at her. "Really?!"

"REALLY! HAHA. Also: here's some pie." She placed the plate of pie on a table for Stan. "On the house. For YOU!" Lazy Susan then left the three of them, which prompted Mabel squeal in joy.

"We did it!" She exclaimed, before they sat down at the booth table. "When are you gonna call? You wanna call now? I don't have a phone. Let's buy a phone! We can put it on a credit card. Let's get a credit card."

Stan wasn't really listen and was starting to eat his pie when he said, "Mabel! Let a man enjoy his pie, huh?"

Patrick laughed as he found how happy his cousin was enjoyable to see. However, looking through the window, he spotted Dipper walking down the street. He was putting back on his shirt and hat and was about to walk to the Mystery Shack in a miserable way when he stopped, having seen his older cousin staring at him. Patrick could see that something was bothering him and while he was still upset about earlier, he wanted to help Dipper. He nodded his to the right in a gesture to come inside. Dipper walked to the entrance.

When he heard the doorbell ring with the door opening, Patrick moved over in the booth to give him a place to sit. Dipper went over and sat next to him. Mabel and Stan watched as the two remained awkwardly silent.

"So, how'd it go," Patrick asked.

"Not so good," Dipper responded miserably. "Look, Patrick, you were right about those guys, and I never should have said all those things to you."

"You get into a fight or something," asked Stan.

"Yes," said Dipper. "It's just these half man half bull humanoids were hanging out with me. Trying to teach me how to be a man…"

"Here we go." Stan groaned.

"Why would you fight about that," Mabel asked.

"He's mad about losing at punches," Patrick told them.

"No! It wasn't just losing," Dipper denied, before looking down at the table. "It's everything." This surprised and confused Patrick. "Whenever I see you, I always feel like in your shadow, you know. You're strong, brave. I just…felt that I had to be better than what I am now to be like you."

"So that's why you wanted to train with the manotaurs," Patrick asked with a sad look, feeling like he's understanding his cousin a little better.

"Yeah. But then they wanted me to do this really tough, horrible thing, but it just wasn't right. So, I said no."

"You were your own man and you stood up for yourself," Stan said with a mouth full of pie. Dipper and Patrick looked at him, with the former confused. "Well, you did what was right, even when no one agreed with ya. Sounds pretty manly to me, but, what do I know?" This brought a smile to Dipper's face.

"Life sucks, Dipper," Patrick told him with a smile. "But someday, you'll become a man. It's going to take a while, but that's gives you more time to figure out the kind of man you want to be. But if you want some advice, then know that I'm only brave when I'm afraid."

"Thanks, Patrick," Dipper said.

"Wait a minute, do my eyes deceive me," asked Mabel, before crawling onto the table. She then pointed at Dipper's chest. "You have a chest hair!"

Dipper quickly pulled down his shirt and gasped when he saw a single hair on his chest. "You're right! I do!" Dipper exclaimed with joy. "Ha ha, this is amazing! I really do! Take that, punchies! Take that, Pituitor!"

"Pituitor," asked Stan.

"This guy has chest hair!" Dipper said, before Mabel used a pair of tweezers and pulled the hair out.

"Mabel!" Patrick glared at her.

"Scrapbook-ortunity!" She said, placing the hair into her scrapbook. Dipper looked at her in disbelief.

"Don't worry, kid, if you're anything like me, there's more where that came from," Stan said, before ripping open his shirt to show his very hairy chest.

"OH, GROSS!" Dipper yelled while laughing, trying to block his eyes from seeing the chest.

The whole family then started laughing. Then they stopped, Patrick said, "Seriously, that's disgusting."

* * *

 **That does it for the sixth chapter of "Weirder Things."**

 **I'm sorry if I'm updating fast lately, I've been working. So, there's are going to be days that I'm not going to be in the mood to work on the next chapters of any of the stories. But I'm not abandoning anything.**

 **The punchies of the chapter is a direct reference to** _ **Regular Show**_ **, one of my favorite shows of all time. With the flashback of Dipper losing in punchies and getting the scar on his butt taken directly from the episode "Death Punchies".**

 **Also, if you're a fan of** _ **South Park**_ **and didn't catch the** _ **South Park**_ **reference in the last chapter, then I'll be very disappointed.**

 **The next chapter is going to be "Double Dipper." But I'm not going to follow the events of that episode. After talking with a fellow Fanfiction author, I've decided to make it dramatically different from "Double Dipper". It's going to be a much darker and mature chapter than the actual episode. The reason for that is because it's going to be inspired by one of greatest sci-fi/horror movies of all time.**

 **So, I'll like to say thank you, Chance Green G King for his help advice.**

 **Also, I've just begun a new story called "Heroes of Tomorrow." It's a** _ **My Hero Academia**_ **/** _ **Marvel comics**_ **crossover, so if you're interested, please check it.**

 **Also, I went back into the last chapter and added in a scene with Dipper, Mabel and Stan watching the "Duchess Approves". Check it out if you want.**

 **That's it for today. Please Favorite and Follow the story if you're not and you like it. And to support the story, then please put a Review of your thoughts and opinions. Without Reviews, I wouldn't know if you actually enjoyed the chapter and know what you all want in the future of the story. If there's anything you wish to talk about, please feel free to PM me. Thank you for reading and have a wonderful day!**


	7. A Pair of Patrick

Inside the Mystery Shack one day, as the sun was going down over the horizon outside, Soos placed a party cone hat on the horn of the rhino head trophy.

The reason that Soos did this strange thing was because the Shack was going to be hosting a dance party. To have it, all the weird things that were displayed were taken out. The floor had a dance floor laid out, there were chairs against the wall, lights that were hung up, a DJ station set up in the corner, and tables that had foods and as punch bowl and plastic cups placed on them.

As Soos was going around placing the party hats on random things in the Mystery Shack; Patrick was standing on a ladder handing up more of the party lights, trying his hardest not to fall off; Wendy was sitting on one of the chairs blowing up one of many balloons, before tossing it on the floor with others that she inflated.

As for Dipper and Mabel, they were sitting on a couch, with a plan to have fun and mess with Stan, who was checking everything for the party. "Oh no, Mabel," the male twin groaned, holding one hand to his stomach like he was sink, while the other one was behind his back. "I-I don't feel so good. I-BBBBLLLAAAA!" He then sprayed Silly String at Mabel's face in a fashion that made it seem like he was throwing it up on her.

"Ohhh, Grunkle Stan, what did you feed us?!" Mabel followed up by taking out her can of Silly String and barfed/sprayed it on Dipper's face. "BBBBBLLLAAAA!"

The two of them continued to pretend barfing on one another, before laughing. Stan on the other hand wasn't all that amused.

"Hahaha, barfing!" Mabel said as they stopped, before Wendy ran up to them.

"Guys, guys, stop! Something terrible just happened!" Wendy exclaimed with urgency, but also with a hand behind her back.

The twins stared at her.

"BBBBLLLAAAA!" The redhead then sprayed Silly String at the twins, also pretending that she was barfing.

Then Patrick walked up to them with a stern look. "Guys, come on! We've got to get everything ready before…before…Ah! AHHHHH!" Patrick started making noise that sounded like he was holding in a sneeze. However, it all turned out to be a prank when he quickly reached behind and pulled out two Silly Spray cans from his back pocket. "CCCCCOOOOOUUUU!" He exclaimed as he placed them close to his nose and started spraying the twins and his crush.

They all laugh hysterically. Stan still wasn't amused and was becoming increasingly annoyed, as Patrick, Wendy, and Dipper sprayed each other, while Mabel threw confetti on Stan's head and shoulders. "Comedy gold!" She shouted.

Stan had reached his limit and took away the Silly Spray and the confetti. "Alright, alright! Party supplies are now off-limits," he said, walking away with the mentioned supplies.

"Mr. Pines, whose birthday is it again," Soos asked, tying up some more decorations that he hung up.

"Nobody's. Thought this party might be a good way to get kids to spend money at the Shack," Stan said, before up a rolled-up paper and then unrolled to reveal it was a Pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey game.

"Nice!"

"The young people of this town want fun; I'll smother 'em with fun!"

"Oh, yes. Keep making comments like that and we'll _definitely_ get kids to come to the Mystery Shack." Patrick said rhetorically, pouring Mabel and Dipper some Diet Pitt Peach Soda from a jug.

"Hey, hey!" Stan stopped him by grabbing and taking the jug away. "How's about you make yourself useful and copy these flyers?" He showed the three the flyer he wanted copied by handing them the clipboard, that had the flyer attached to it.

 _ **Party at the Mystery Shack**_

 _Kids and Teenagers are welcome_

 **Free?**

"Why does the 'Free' have a question mark," Patrick asked, pointing to it.

"Oh boy, a trip to the copier store!" Mabel exclaimed, excited.

"Calendars, mugs, t-shirts and more!" Soos joined in on the excitement, counting off all those things. "They got it all at the copier store!" The twins and Patrick looked at him strangely. "That's not their slogan, I just really feel that way about the copier store."

"Save the trouble. You know the old copier in my office? I finally fixed the old girl up! Good as new!" Stan said to Dipper and Mabel, before turning towards Patrick and Wendy, "While they're off doing that, I need you two to take this thing up into your bedroom." Stan pointed to the object, and Patrick and Wendy saw it was a wide, but thin flat object leaning against the wall, covered completely by a large brownish green sheet.

Something wasn't right about it, so Patrick asked, "What is it?"

"It's this mirror that I got from this rich guy," Stan admitted with a smile. "He was giving it out for free, and I wanted it for this mirror maze idea I have."

"And you just took the free mirror from the rich guy…just like that?" Wendy questioned him with uncertainty.

"Yes!"

"With no questions asked," Patrick then asked.

"Yes!"

The two teens stared at Stan.

"Just go take it upstairs."

* * *

Wendy kicked open the door to the Pines' kids room, as she helped Patrick carry the mirror inside. The mirror turned out to be very heavy, and the two teenagers had to help each other by carrying it sideways.

With the door open, Wendy entered first, walking backwards while holding up her side of the mirror. Then Patrick entered, as both of them were struggling to keep the mirror up. "What the hell is this shit made of," he grunted.

After getting it in, they placed the covered mirror against the wall, in between Mabel and Patrick's beds. They panted with exhaustion, before catching their breaths and looked up at it. With its tall size that was almost intimidating, it was easily a full-body mirror. And there was this strange feeling coming from it.

Wendy shrugged off the feeling first and turned to Patrick. "Well, I better get ready or something," she told him, before walking behind him and towards the door.

"Yeah, seeya," Patrick said, and then turned his head back to the covered mirror. At first, he wanted to leave the room, but the feeling was still felt by him. Wanting to know what was going on with the mirror, Patrick pulled out his crowbar.

With weapon in hand, Patrick cautiously reached for the sheet.

He grabbed it, and pulled it off.

To his total amazement, Patrick saw his reflection in the mirror, that was made out of black glass. There was a thin wood frame that incased its sides, but nothing else to it. Nothing compared to the marvel of the black glass.

As Patrick stared at his reflection, he noted that all other objects in the room except for him were not in the mirror. His reflection was all alone in the black glass. "This is freaky," he muttered.

Suddenly and without warning, his reflection talked on its own. "Oh, it gets freakier."

Patrick stared at his reflection shocked, wide eyes, before screaming. "AAAAAAHHHHHH!"

* * *

 **{Play** _ **Stranger Things**_ **theme by Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein}**

 **[0:00-0:03]**

 _At the beginning of the intro, there is nothing but blackness._

 **[0:03-0:08]**

 _Then about three seconds later, a bunch photographs started falling from above in slow motion._

 **[0:08-0:11]**

 _Getting a closer look at one of the photographs, while others twirled and spun in the background in slow motion, shows the town of Gravity Falls from a distance._

 **[0:11-0:14]**

 _Another picture shows the Mystery Shack during the night time, with bright lights shining thought the windows._

 **[0:14-0:16]**

 _One photo shows a thundering sky that had a large, flying creature's shadow being seen through the dark clouds. The camera then focuses on a picture behind the previous one, showing large claw marks on a tree trunk, as more photos were seen falling._

 **[0:16-0:19]**

 _Three photos are focused on now, one showing an angry Gnome, the second showing something that resembles the Long Ness Monster, and the third show a dinosaur tooth trapped in amber._

 **[0:19-0:25]**

 _The camera shows the cluster of photographs continuing to fall, before angling downwards to show all of them lying on a flat surface, collecting in a pile._

 **[0:25-0:40]**

 _The camera then gradually moves back to show more of the photos landing. After the last of the photos were on the surface, the camera moves upwards, displaying nothing but blackness again._

 **[0:40-45]**

 _Then the title of the story, including the red circle with triangle, appeared in a flash of light._

 _ **WEIRDER THINGS**_

 **[0:45-end]**

 _It then disappeared, before the chapter title appeared._

 **Chapter Seven**

 **A Pair of Patrick**

* * *

"AAAAAHHHHH!" Patrick continued to scream, before he fell on his ass. He was so surprised and frightened, that he pushed himself away from it. Sliding away on the floor, Patrick was stopped when his back hit the wall. "Evil mirror!" He cried out, pointing the crowbar at it.

"Woah, woah," said the reflection said, while its body reflected Patrick's body pose on the ground and movements were in perfect sync. But his face showed a calm and somewhat annoyed look. "Chill, man. Chill. First, I'd like to point out the fact that I'm not an evil mirror, and that I'm not going to hurt you."

"Reflections don't just talk on their own!" Patrick exclaimed.

"I'm a magic mirror. That rich guy made all us like that."

Panting for a moment to catch his breath, Patrick sighed and stood up. Again, his reflection in the mirror does the same. He didn't seem dangerous, seeing that he could only do what Patrick has to do. Patrick walked slowly up to the mirror "So…what are you," he asked, but before the reflection could reply, the door open.

Dipper and Mabel walked into the room, each carrying a stack of copied flyers, with some soot stains on their clothes. "The printer broke down, but I think we've got enough," Dipper said.

Patrick turned his head to look at them, by he did, the reflection didn't mimic the movement. As Dipper and Mabel walked into the room, their reflections were seen in the mirror. "Hi, how're you doing," all three reflections said in unison.

Dipper and Mabel screamed in terror, dropping all their copies, and hid behind Patrick. "What is that thing?!" Mabel exclaimed.

"Like I said, I'm a magical mirror," the three reflections said, as the three Pines members stared at the black glass. "I'm one of many that our creator made, using many spells and enchantments to create us, all for the purpose of becoming a clone of a single person."

"Only one person," Patrick asked, as the twins calmed down and stepped out from behind him.

"I am just one mirror."

Dipper laughed and ran up to the mirror, grinning widely. "This is amazing! An actual sentient object! What else can you do?"

Mabel pushed him out of the way with her own excited expression. "Can you juggle? Teleport? Fly? Do an awesome trick?!"

"I can't really do much of anything until I've cloned someone," said her and Patrick's reflection. Dipper then walked back into the mirror, holding his head in pain, and his reflection mimicked him. Together, all three talked at the same time. "Whenever you're facing me, I'm bound by the laws of base physics and…well, being a mirror, to do your body's same movement. Only able to freely control my facial expressions and tone of voice. However, I'm able to move freely if you're not looking at any part of me."

"That's incredible," Patrick said with a look of wonder. "So, how does a person make you into their clone?"

"Well…"

"Hey, kids! Come on!" Stan called up to them, making the three of them look down at the floor. "We're not done with setting things up!"

Patrick puts the crowbar back into his sweater. "Come guys, we'll figure this out later," he said before walking out of the room.

"Bye, Mister Mirror," Mabel said as she and Dipper followed behind. Now all that was left was the mirror with no reflections. With no one's reflection, it fell silent.

* * *

An hour later and the Mystery Shack was ready for the party. Stan stood in front of Soos, Wendy, Mabel, Patrick, and Dipper, who are all standing side-by-side. "Alright party people... and Dipper," he addressed them all, standing with his clipboard and next to a box of party hats. Dipper frowned when he was singled out. "Let's talk business. Soos, because you'll work for free, and you begged, I'm lettin' you be DJ."

"You won't regret it, Mr. Pines. I got this book to teach me how to DJ R-R-Right!" Soos said, as he held up a book that had what he said as its title.

"…Not encouraging." Stan then moved down to Wendy and Mabel. "Wendy, you and Mabel will work at the ticket stand."

"What?" Mabel exclaimed in protest. "But Grunkle Stan, this party is my chance to make new friends!"

See an opportunity he couldn't pass by, Patrick raised his hand. "I... I could work with Wendy."

"You realize that if you do, you gotta commit to stay in at the ticket stand with Wendy," Stan said, rolling his eyes. Pointing his finger at Patrick to further emphasized his point. "No getting out of it, just the two of you, _alone_ , all night."

Patrick turned his head and body and looked behind himself. He watched as Wendy sprayed a pair of eyes and a nose on Soos' belly with the Silly String, before the big man started making his stomach wave. Soos, Wendy, and the twins laughed at that. However, Patrick's ears drowned out the other three, as he focused on the beautiful redhead, who he thought had a cute laugh.

He smiled. "I promise."

* * *

Moments later, and Patrick was in the bedroom, standing in front of the magic mirror. He took off his sweater and was putting on a dress vest that he was going to wear over his red T-shirt. "Who's the hot date," asked his reflection, as Patrick buttoned up his vest.

"It's not a date," Patrick said, before leaning over to the side to grab a spray can of deodorant. "I'm just going to be working with a co-worker for the night."

But as he went back to the mirror, Mabel was standing right beside him. "That's what he said," She said.

"AH!" Patrick yelped and took a step back, holding his heart. "Don't sneak up on me like that!"

Dipper then walked up behind him. "You mean like this?" He smiled and poked his cousin's back.

"AH!" Patrick yelped again, and turned to glare down at him. "What is it!?" He exclaimed.

The twins began to giggle, and then Mabel started intimidating Patrick's voice, pretending to be him. "Uh, uh, I could work the counter with you, Wendy!" she said teasingly.

Dipper followed it up by pretending to be Wendy. "Oh, Patrick," he said in the redhead's voice. "Look at how tall, strong, and handsome you are! Let's kiss!" He and his sister started pretending that they were making out with someone, before breaking into hysterical laughter.

"Laugh it up, dumb and dumber!" Patrick retorted, before turning back to the black-glass mirror, spraying on the deodorant at his armpits. "This is my big moment to be alone with Wendy. No supernatural creatures. No ghostly Vikings."

Dipper stopped laughing and walked up to him. "Then fear not, Patrick. For I've devised a plan to make sure your night with Wendy goes perfect," he said, pulling out a folded-up sheet of paper.

Because Dipper wasn't looking at the mirror, his reflection looked at the paper's reflection and squeezed it a little. "How big is it," he asked, noting how thick the paper was.

"Plan," Mabel asked after she stopped laughing. "Oh, you're not making one of those overcomplicated listy things, are you?"

Dipper scoffed. "Psh. Over complicated? Let me just..." He then started unfolding the paper. "…alright, fold that there, kay…" He continued to unfold it. Patrick didn't really expect much, but as it all came undone, it started to become larger and larger. When was finally done, Patrick's eyes widened at the size of the huge list and Mabel sighed in frustration. The male twin cleared his throat, prompting Patrick and Mabel to sit on the floor. "Step 1: Getting to know each with playful banter. Banter is like talking, but smarter."

"That sounds like a dumb idea for poopheads." Mabel rolled her eyes.

"Dipper, has it ever occurred to you that you _might_ have a bad habit of over thinking some of these things," Patrick asked.

"Say what you will, but it's good to know that this isn't banter," Dipper informed them. "This is what you want to avoid with Wendy, Patrick. And that's not all. The final step is for you to ask her to dance."

Patrick's eyes widened, as his head started to day dream about him and Wendy dancing.

 _In the dream, Patrick and Wendy were slowly dancing while holding each other closely, as Soos played a trumpet in the background. Patrick was wearing a tux, and was without his hat, while Wendy was in a light green dress that glimmered in the lights of the white and silver ballroom—also without her hat._

" _Oh Patrick! I'm so happy you decided to work the ticket stand with me; you're so handsome," Wendy said._

 _Patrick leaned her back, as he leaned over her. "And you are beautiful this night," he said with a smirk, making her giggle. Wendy then smiled seductively and looped her arms around his neck. Quickly getting the idea, Patrick leaned down to her. They closed their eyes and prepared their lips to kiss each other…_

"Patrick…Patrick…PATRICK!"

"Huh!" Patrick let out a yelp. In front of him was his cousins, and the all their reflections, staring right at him. He quickly wiped away the drool hanging from his mouth and sat straight and stiff.

All was silent.

"So…how do I dance with Wendy," Patrick asked.

"If you follow steps 1 through 11, nothing can get in your way!" Dipper handed him the list. Patrick took it and looked it over closely for a moment.

"Dipper, with all due respect, I'm not doing this," Patrick told him. "All I'm going to do is just walk up and talk to her like a normal person."

Dipper took the list back and pointed a part of it. "Step 9, Patrick!" Step 9 of the plan said to _'talk to her like a normal person.'_

Patrick stared at him, before sighing and snatched the list out of his hands. "What's the worst that could happen?" He groaned, walking out of the room.

If only he knew.

* * *

The party has begun, almost all the teens and kids of Gravity Falls were dancing and having a great time at the Mystery Shack. Colorful spotlights hung around the ceiling and shined on the dance floor, and a disco ball illuminated the room with its lights. Soos was DJing, doing moves with the record.

Dipper and Mabel were watching the party from a balcony. Dipper wore his usual alter, but also wore a bowtie. Mabel on the other hand changed up her clothes for the party. She was now wearing a purple sweater, wore a large, red bow on her head, nacho earrings, and yellow socks.

Just then, Stan came out from behind the party curtains, wearing clothing that's very similar to ones that were from the 70's. He started dancing to the beat of the music. "Yadda dee, yada doo, yada doo." He sang before saying to the kids, "Can your uncle throw a party or what?"

"The energy, it's electric!" Soos said into a microphone, but it didn't sound right so he looked at his book. "Uhh, lightning…" He then started pressing buttons on the sound FX machine, trying to get the sound of thunder, but instead he made various other noises. "…lightning, lightning, lightning..."

"I have to admit, Grunkle Stan," Dipper said with an impressed look, "this party is seriously off the hook!"

"And the best part is if anyone wants to leave," said Stan, "I'm charging an exit fee of 15 bucks!"

Just as he said that, Nate and Lee were near the window counting money. They thought that the party was lame, and they wanted out! "We've only got 13!" Nate said in despair, after counting all their money.

Lee was pulling out his pockets when he heard him. "We're trapped!" The two of them then started pounding on the window for anyone to rescue them. But it was no use, as Patrick and Wendy were outside taking money from a line of people wanting to get into the party, and then giving them the ticket to enter. Just like Dipper, Wendy wore her usual clothing with a bowtie on too.

Patrick was leaning back in his chair, but lean forward after Wendy took a person's money so that he could give that person their ticket. He looked to the right corner of his eyes and saw Wendy merely eating popcorn.

He then heard the pounding on the window and turned around to look. When Patrick saw Nate and Lee hitting the glass, desperately trying to get out, he chuckled. "Looks like they're having a good time," he joked, getting Wendy to look at her friends too.

She chuckled. "Well, then it be going great in there," she said with a grin.

"Too bad we're stuck out here," Patrick said, but he was lying. "Alone."

"Eh. It's not all that bad," said Wendy, as Patrick took another person's money and she handed them their ticket. "You ever wonder how Mabel and Dipper are doing in there?"

Patrick scoffed with a sure smile. "Knowing them, Dipper's helping Soos and Mabel's having the time of her life."

* * *

And she was. Inside, she was dancing happily while snapping her fingers. "Go, go! Work it, work it!" She exclaimed with a big, toothy grin. Mabel then ran off the dance floor and towards the chairs.

Mabel then sat down, feeling thirsty. So, she opened a plastic water bottle and drank some. Just then, she noticed that on the shoulder of the person sitting on her left was a lizard.

"Wow! You've got an animal on your body!" She told the girl.

The girl was a light-skinned and large with auburn colored hair and a ponytail, wearing a pink shirt that read "COOL," purple shorts, white socks and pink and purple sneakers.

On the other side of the big girl was another, normal size one with straight, black waist-length hair, wearing round glasses with black rims, a striped jade shirt, a purple skirt, white tights, black shoes, and a pink backpack.

"I'm Mabel," the twin introduced herself to the large girl.

The big girl then spoke in a really deep, masculine voice. "Hi, I'm Grenda," she said, before gesturing to the other girl. "This is Candy." Candy waved to Mabel, with forks taped on her fingers.

"Why do have forks taped to your fingers," asked Mabel.

The Asian girl put her hand into Grenda's bowl of popcorn. When she pulled it out, each fork had a popcorn on it. "Improvement of human being," said Candy.

Mabel watched as Grenda feed her lizard a popcorn, and the lizard shot its tongue at it and ate the piece. Grenda and Candy laughed. Mabel smiled and whispered, "I've found my people!"

Dipper was up on the stage to be the announcer. "Alright, everyone, time for the party's competition," he said into the microphone. He then looked at the book Soos handed to him. "Here's the rules; whoever, um, party hardies, what?" Dipper tossed away the out of touch book and held up a crown. "Gets the party crown! Most applause at the end of the night wins!"

Mabel gasped at the crown, while Grenda and Candy said, "Wow!"

Dipper was approached by three girls. However, only one of them stood out. The girl had long blonde hair with bell-shaped bangs and wore a purple jacket with a short lavender dress, along with a periwinkle belt. She also wore black leggings with cream colored boots and lavender hoop earrings.

The blonde girl walked up to him and took off her sunglasses, revealing her dark blue eyes and heavy purple eyeshadow. "Party crown? I'll take that, thank you very much!" She held up her hand and looked around into a pocket mirror she pulled out. Acting as though Dipper was going to just give it to him automatically.

"Who's that," asked Mabel, as she, Grenda, and Candy stared at the bratty girl.

Candy adjusted her glasses with his fork fingers. "The most popular girl in town, Pacifica Northwest."

"I always feel bad about myself around her," added Grenda.

Any thoughts about how beautiful Pacifica was were destroyed by her attitude, and Dipper had a feeling he wasn't going to like this girl. "Uh, no can do," he said. "It's sort of a competition thing. I can't just give you the crown."

Pacifica's response was a laugh, before taking the mic out of Dipper's hand. "Honestly, who's gonna compete against me," she asked mockingly, before turning towards where Mabel was and gesture at Candy. "Fork girl?" Then she gestured at Grenda. "Lizard lady?"

She started laughing at them, with her two friends joining in.

"Hold me, Candy!" begged Grenda, as the two bullied friends held each other.

"Our kind isn't welcome here!" Candy said sadly. Mabel felt bad for the two and wanted to do something. She frowned and turned her head at Dipper with a scold. She nodded at him.

Dipper nodded back and looked at Pacifica. "Actually, you've got one competition," he said to her, which got Pacifica to stop laughing.

"And it's me!" Mabel said with a heroic smile and pointed a thumb to her chest. Grenda and Candy gasped happily. Mabel then walked up to Pacifica and held out her hand to the blonde. "I'm Mabel."

Pacifica didn't look all that interested and mocked the girl. "That sounds like a fat old lady's name."

"I'll take that as a compliment," Mabel said happily.

Pacifica stared at her for a moment and then smirked. "May the better partier win," she said, and then snapped her fingers. She menacingly walked away with her friends backwards, before they were in the shadows.

"Nice meeting you!" Mabel waved at Pacifica, as Grenda and Candy walked up to her. Mabel stopped waving and said to them, "She's going down."

* * *

Back outside, and the line of people was getting bigger and more excited. They waved their money around, while Patrick and Wendy worked fast and easy.

However, after Wendy took the next person in line's money, she looked over her shoulder at the window. "Whoa! Sounds like the party's getting nuts," she implied, after hearing the music getting cracked up and the party goers cheering louder. Patrick handed the person their ticket and looked into the Shack.

Soos got to work on the music, and Dipper announced, "Let the battle for the party crown begin!" The moment he said that, Mabel instantly got dancing. Busting out all of her dance moves. "Mabel comes out strong! Watch out, Pacifica!"

Patrick chuckled. "Looks like Mabel's rocking the house," he joked.

"I gotta get in there!" Wendy said, before looking to Patrick. "Cover for me?"

"What?! No way!" Patrick exclaimed, glaring at her. "I am not saying out here by myself!"

"Come on, please?" She begged with her hands together.

"Look, I want to be in there too, but need I remind you that every time you bail out of work, I'm the one left to do it," Patrick told her with his arms crossed.

"It's not going to be like those times," Wendy said, and Patrick was almost certain that with the face she had on that she was being sincere. "Just do this for me this one time and…a-and I'll never bail out on you again. I'll do all my work and do overtime with you. I promise."

Patrick was a little surprised that she would do that. Then again, she wasn't one that would go back on her word. In the end, he sighed, and nodded his head in a gesture to go on.

"Thanks, Patrick," Wendy said, flicking his hat even though he was scowling at her. Wendy then ran inside and started dancing.

All Patrick could do was stare into window at her, laughing and having a good time. He really didn't care if she kept her promise, all Patrick wanted was to spend some time alone with her. Hopefully to start building up their relationship. But it looked as though it was not to be.

"Hey, Patrick!" The teenager heard Stan yelling at him. He looked to his left and saw Stan walking towards him. "What are you doing? These suckers aren't gonna rip themselves off!"

Then some kid yelled, "Yeah!"

"You promised that you would do this," Stan told him stern, but then looked around. "And where's Wendy?!"

"She…" Patrick paused for a moment, thinking of a lie. "Going to the bathroom."

"Alright, but no funny business." Stan then walked away.

Patrick sighed in frustration and sat back in his chair. People immediately started getting excited again and offered him their money. As he worked, he could hear Wendy's happy voice shouting from within the Mystery Shack. He looked behind him and saw her continuing to party like there's no tomorrow. "Now what do I do," he asked, focusing on his reflection in the mirror.

But that's when he got an idea.

* * *

"You want to what?!" Exclaimed the magic mirror's reflection of Patrick.

"I want you to clone me," Patrick explained again.

"Are you sure," asked the reflection, looking a little unsure. "I'm not made with just some normal magic. It was some really dark and dangerous stuff."

"But I need your help. All you have to do is cover me at the ticket stand, while I ask Wendy to dance."

"But what's in it for me." The reflection narrowed his eyes. "Once you get the girl, what then?"

Patrick thought for a moment, before thinking of something that the mirror couldn't refuse. "Think about it, you're going to be a clone. That means you'll no longer be trapped in the mirror. You can do whatever you want and go where ever you want."

The reflection was silent for a moment, seeming to think about it for a moment. He then said, "Okay."

"Great!" Patrick said with a smile. "So, what you I do?"

"Place both your hands on me and close your eyes," said the mirror.

Patrick nodded. He held out his hands and closed his eyes. Taking a step forward, the teenager placed his hands on the mirror. His reflection does the same a moment later. Nothing happened at first.

"Now keep your eyes closed, no matter what."

Suddenly, the fingers of the reflection popped right off of the black glass and grabbed his hands. Patrick screamed in terror, but kept his eyes closed.

"It's alright!" Exclaimed the reflection. "Now pull me out."

Patrick started to have second thoughts, but nodded and started to pull. It proved to be a challenge, but the hand of his reflection was soon pulled out of the mirror. Then the arm. After a moment of struggling for the teenager, the reflection of his body was pulled right out of the black glass.

After stepping out of the mirror, the clone told Patrick, "You can open your eyes now."

Patrick opened his eyes and was amazed to see the clone. "Wow," he said, looking up and down the clone. He was an exact and perfect replica of Patrick. "So, I guess you'll need a name now."

"That would be nice," the clone said, before thinking for a moment. "Your name is Patrick, so how about…Maverick!"

"Alright then." Patrick nodded with a smile. But then he looked at him suspiciously. "Hey, we're not gonna turn on each other like the clones in the movies, are we?"

"Why would we turn on each other," Maverick asked with a shrug. "I'm not interested in the girl. Plus, I'm not skin and bones." He then flicked his finger on his head, making glass sounds. "I'm still glass."

"Oh."

* * *

Moments later, and Maverick is outside manning the ticket station. He took a person's money and handed them their ticket, before looking to his right. Patrick is at the door and gave him a thumbs up. The clone returned the gesture, and Patrick went inside.

Patrick walked through the crowd of partying people, before spotting Wendy. He took a in a breath and then approached her. "Hey, Wendy."

Wendy turned around and was both surprised and happy to see the Pines teenager. "Patrick? What are you doing here," she asked.

"I got someone to cover the concessions for me!" He told her with a smile.

"That's awesome. You can hang out with me and Robbie." Wendy pointed at the goth teen, who was parking his bike inside, next to the two. The moment he saw Robbie, Patrick's smile dropped. "Robbie you remember Patrick from the convenience store?"

Robbie looked at the Pines teen with uninterest. "Uh, no," he said, making Patrick glare at him. Robbie took off the guitar case he was carrying on his back. "Yo, Wendy, check out my new guitar." He opened the case and pulled out a black and gray electric guitar.

He then started to play the guitar. Patrick decided that it was time for him to just leave. There was no way that he was going to compete with Robbie and ask Wendy to dance. He turned around and walked away. But then his phone rang, and he answered it.

" _Hey buddy, it's me, Maverick."_ Patrick looked towards the window and saw the clone looking at him. _"I just saw the whole thing. What's the plan, now?"_

"If I'm ever to dance with Wendy, then we've got to get rid of Robbie!" Patrick whispered into the phone.

Wendy then called over to him. "Hey, Patrick! We're gonna go sit on the couch! Meet us when you're done." She and Robbie then walked towards the couch.

Patrick gave her a fake smile and a thumbs up, afterwards he started to panic. "Oh no! They're sitting on the couch! We gotta think of something quick!"

Maverick looked around for a solution. He then noticed Robbie's bike and got a devilish idea. "I got an idea."

Meanwhile, the contest between Mabel and Pacifica continued into a singing contest. Pacifica was first. "Always means forever," she sang into the microphone. Pacifica paused and closed her eyes, then opened them. "ALWAAAAAYYYSS!"

Her voice at that word was so high that it broke a plastic cup.

The audience cheered for Pacifica, before she finished the song with a whisper and pointed. "Forever."

Mabel, Grenda, and Candy looked at her in amazement. "I used to sing like that," said Grenda, "before my voice changed."

"Pacifica pulls ahead!" Dipper announced to the crowd.

"Try and top that!" Pacifica smuggled said to Mabel, handing her the microphone by putting it to the twin's chest. "Oh, and Grenda, by the way, you sound like a professional wrestler." The blonde walked away, laughing while the girls glared at her.

"I WANNA PUT HER IN A HEADLOCK AND MAKE HER FEEL PAIN!" Grenda yelled, while simulating putting Pacifica in a headlock.

"It's not over 'til it's over, sisters! Watch this," Mabel said with a confident smile. She then ran up onto the stage and pointed at Soos. "Soos! Give me the 80s-ist, crowd pleasing-ist, rock ballad-y-ist song you got!"

Soos complied and used a remote to start the music. The music is some completely song called _Don't Start Un-Believing_.

"Excellent," Mabel said before starting to sing. _"Don't start UN-BELIEVING! Never don't not feel your feelings!"_

Everyone cheered for Mabel, except for Pacifica, who looked at the crowd. Patrick ignored the terrible song and singing. He loved her, but sometimes her singing was enough for him to want to pull off his ears. However, he walked over to Dipper and kneeled down to whisper something in his ear. Dipper nodded and talked into the microphone. "Attention, would the owner of a silver and red dirt bike please report outside. It is being stolen right now."

Robbie was laying on the couch with Wendy sitting next to him. When he heard Dipper, his eyes snapped open. "Wait, WHAT?!" He exclaimed, jumping off of the couch and ran to the window.

He looked and saw someone riding away with his bike. Maverick snickered as he rang the little bike-bell on the handlebar.

But Robbie didn't know it was Maverick—or Patrick, since he's the teen's clone—but he ran out of the Mystery Shack to chase him. "Hey, come back here!"

Patrick walked over to Wendy and leaned against the wall next to her. "Oh, tough break," he said with his arms crossed. "I wonder who those guys are who aren't me because I'm right here." He quickly stopped talking.

Dipper then put the next part of Patrick's plan into action. "Now we're gonna bring it down for a minute. Now's the time from romance," he said, nodding to Soos. Soos nodded back and started playing more romantic music. Once it started playing, all of the couples in the crowd got together and started slow dancing.

"Oh snap, I love this song," Wendy told Patrick, before swaying her head in tune to the music.

Patrick smiled and looked away, rubbing his right arm. Mabel then ran over to Patrick. "Hey goofus, now's your chance to ask Wen—" Patrick quickly covered Mabel's mouth, and then moved them away from Wendy. He removed his hand from her mouth and the twin said, "Now's your chance to ask Wendy to dance! C'mon! Go!" She started pushing him towards the redhead.

"Ok, ok." Patrick whispered, before approaching Wendy.

However, Wendy stood up when another, punk-looking teen walked up to her. The two of them hugged. She then looked at Patrick and Mabel. "Hey, you two, you have to meet my boyfriend!"

Patrick and Mabel's faces collapsed.

"So, this is my friend Patrick," Wendy today her boyfriend, who looked at Patrick and snickered.

"You should tell your friend he should stop babysitting, and start working it at the gym," he joked at Patrick. But just like the Pines teen, Wendy didn't find the joke all too funny, and pulled her arm away from her boyfriend.

"Don't be such a jerk," she snapped angrily, before looking away with her arms crossed.

The now ex-boyfriend glared at Patrick and quietly said, "You're dead!"

Patrick laughed nervously and then ran away.

* * *

Meanwhile, Maverick was still riding Robbie's bike away from the emo teen, and had turned onto the road. Robbie was still behind him. "Stop!"

"Catch me if you can, sucker!" Maverick called out to Robbie, looking over his shoulder. However, he was looking over his shoulder when he did, not on where he was going.

It was only when two lights shined on him from in front of him and a loud car horn honked.

Maverick quickly turned his head back to look forward. He was on the left side of the road, and a large 18-wheeler was coming right at him. He screamed and jerked the bike sharp to the left. While he avoided the truck, he ended up going off the road.

Suddenly the front wheel hit a tree root.

In an instant, Maverick was sent flying off the bike. Sending him forward towards a tree. He was about to react when…

 _ **CRACK!**_

The cracking sound could even be heard from Robbie, who was running down towards where his bike was laying on the ground. When he picked it up, he looked around for the bike thief. "Hey, where are you," he demanded.

However, the was no one there. Maverick was gone.

"Hello?" Robbie called again, but with no response again.

Unbeknownst to him was that Maverick was hiding from behind a tree, covering his face. He trembled in fear and horror. This was bad. This was really, really bad.

Maverick took his hands from his face, showing that his left eye, and some of the area around his eye…was cracked. Cracked like glass.

* * *

After running away from Wendy and her ex-boyfriend, Patrick was in the hallway with a cup of juice in his hand. He sighed. "Well, that could have gone better," he said to himself.

"Tell me about it." Patrick looked to his left and saw Wendy approaching him from the party room.

"What are you doing here," he asked, as she joined him and leaned her back against the wall.

"Just wanted to say I'm sorry you had to see that," Wendy said, looking down with a scowl. "Should have known he was lying. He lied about being better than before and I actually believed him!"

Patrick looked a little surprised. "You've dated him before?"

"I've dated a lot of guys in the past. It was all after I got my braces removed." Wendy reached into her back pocket and pulled out her wallet. Opening it, she then pointed to a picture of her brother when they were younger.

"Ha, you were a freak!" Patrick laughed, but quickly covered his mouth. "I'm so sorry."

"Nah, man, it's cool," said Wendy, having her hand. "After the braces came off, you could definitely see the difference."

"Yeah, I know what you mean." Patrick nodded. "Kids back home always made fun of my feet."

Wendy's interest was peaked. "Feet?"

Patrick realized his mistake and tried to cover it up. "Uh, no! It's nothing! I-I was-I wa—" he slapped himself on the head. "—why did I say that?"

"No way, dude! Now you have to show me!" She then started to chant. "Show me, show me!"

At this point, Patrick knew that he wasn't going to be able to hide it from her. So, he took a deep breath and handed his cup to her. He then sat down and untied his right shoes, and then took off his shoes.

Revealing his foot had a 6th toe.

Wendy gasped. "You…You have six toes?!"

"Even since I was born," Patrick said with a negative look, as he put back on his sock and shoe. "It's a rare condition. It's the reason I never really made friends. People either knew about me, or they were told about me." He stood up and put his back on the wall, as Wendy just stayed quiet and listened. "All that bullying, and harassment is what led to me having some anger issues."

Wendy looked sadly at Patrick, feeling great sympathy for him. It was obvious that this was something deeply personal to him, and she pressured him into talking about it. "I…I so sorry, Patrick," she said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I didn't know."

"It's alright. I haven't even told Dipper and Mabel," he admitted with a small smile. "But, I guess we're both freaks."

Wendy nodded and handed him back his cup. "To us freaks." Patrick's smile grown more and to two friends clinked cups. They laughed together, before the bathroom door opened, and an angry Pacifica marched out. "Wait here?"

"Of course," said Patrick, and Wendy went into the bathroom. Just as the door closed, his phone rang. He looked a saw it was Maverick. "Hello?"

" _Patrick, you've got to help me, man! It's not good!"_

"Whoa, whoa. What's wrong?"

" _I'm cracked, man. I've cracked my face!"_

"What?!" Patrick shouted in shock. "How did that even happen? You're a clone."

" _I'm still made of glass! Listen, I don't know what to do, man. I can feel myself breaking apart."_

"Okay, okay," said Patrick, walking down the and up the stairs to the attic. "If your magic, then there's only one place that we can go to fix this."

He opened the bedroom door and looked towards the mirror.

"You're creator."

* * *

The creator of Maverick wasn't very far from the Mystery Shack. He was living in an isolated, spooky-looking, mansion in the woods. By the time Patrick and Maverick were walking up to the mansion's front door, it was pouring down rain and thundering.

The two stepped onto the porch and stopped in front of the door. "Are you sure that he'll be able to help," asked Maverick, as Patrick pushed the doorbell.

After hearing the sound of the doorbell, Patrick looked at him. "You're made with magic, so we might as well see if he could help," he said, before the door opened.

Out from behind it stood an old man with gray hair and glassed, wearing a white robe that he was still tying on. The creator looked at Patrick and was about to say something, but stopped upon noticing Maverick. He looked at the two of them and saw that they were almost like twins, but the clone had a large crank protruding from his eye. "Inside," he said, stepping aside to let the boys.

Moments later and they were all inside of the creator's master bedroom. The old man walked over to a desk that had many books and papers stacked on it. Patrick looked around at many of the expensive and exotic looking things displayed in the room. Maverick stared only at the creator.

"It would appear that you've come to meet your maker," said the creator, not looking up from the page he was looking at in the book.

Patrick looked at him and walked over to join Maverick. "We were hoping that you could help Maverick with his—"

"You named it?" The creator looked over his shoulder at him, surprised. Maverick looked upset at him for calling him an 'it', while Patrick nodded.

"Can you be able to restore him?"

The creator's face turned into a troubled expression, and paced away from the desk. "To do that will require a…very horrific act that must be committed by the clone. I've created many like Maverick, all to escape loneliness. Then I realized that I could make a profit out of the mirrors, giving them to those with the right money. However, it wasn't until I've discovered a grave cost in the mirrors that I realized that I was a fool, and stopped immediately."

"What do you mean," asked Patrick, all while Maverick stand unusually quiet.

"Using all the magic and enchantments that I've learned in my years of studying the arts, I've made the mirrors as best as I could."

"But not to last," said Maverick.

The creator nodded. "Even if you weren't cracked, your lifespan was only going to be four years."

Patrick shook his head and attempted to reason with him. "Isn't there another way to fix him?"

"There is." The old man sighed. Maverick looked over at the open book on the table. Thinking that if he wasn't going to get real answers from the man, he'll get it from his source of magic. "But I can't recommend it. I'm sorry, but your friend is going to die, and he's not coming." Maverick looked at the page he was open to, and started reading.

"But why?" Patrick argued, angry with the creator. "You may be his creator, but you don't have the right to decide that! What does he have to even do, anyways?"

There was a pause.

"I…" Patrick looked at Maverick, who was staring down in the book, trembling. "I have to kill you."

Feeling like his heart had stopped, Patrick's eyes widened, and he took a step back. "What," he asked, hoping to God that he misheard him.

"That's the curse," explained the creator. "Once the mirror makes its one clone, that clone will have only one chance to become immortal. By killing one, the other will live. There is no other way, I've tried. I've tried to warn the others who've bought my mirrors, but it was too late."

Patrick was in disbelief. Maverick would have to kill him, or die slowly and painfully. He shook his head. "No. No, that's bullshit," he said, making quick glances at Maverick, who continued to look at the book.

"Is it," asked Maverick.

That didn't give Patrick a good vibe.

"Think about it, Patrick," he said, walking over to a wall, not even looking at Patrick. "I've only been live for an hour, and there's still so many things I've yet to experience."

"Maverick, come on!" Patrick argued, trying to reason with his clone. "This is insane!"

Maverick walked up to an ax that was hanging on the wall. "It's no use, boy," said the creator, quickly moving in front of Patrick. "His mental state is also cracked. All he's capable of thinking is survival." The clone grabbed the axe and started walking towards them. Patrick quickly pulled out his crowbar and prepared to fight.

However, he was caught by surprise when the creator rushed Maverick and grabbed the ax.

"Run! I'll hold him off!"

Patrick didn't have to be told twice, and quickly ran out of the room. He ran down the hall and made it to the stairs.

Suddenly, he heard a bloodcurdling scream of agony. It made him stop and look back at the way he came from. He knew that it meant Maverick killed his creator.

He shook his head and quickly ran down the stairs, pulling out his phone and calling the police. "Hello, police! It's an emergency!"

There was no one to answer it.

"Hello?!" Patrick burst out of the front doors and continued running. "Where is everyone!?" Turned out, they were all at the party. "Damnit!" Patrick shouted in the rain, and continued running.

He ran onto the road and started heading towards the Mystery Shack. He nearly tripped on the way, but quickly recovered himself. Cars would pass him, but didn't bother to stop to see if he needed help. He was a 16-year-old male running through the rain as if he was being chased by something.

Patrick then made a right when he got to the dirt road that lead to the Mystery Shack. Along the way, he tripped on a root, and fell face-first into the mud. He groaned in pain from the hard impact, before standing up again and ran.

He looked up and saw that the Shack was only a few yards away. He smiled in relief. He was almost there. He was going to be safe.

Suddenly, someone tackled him to the ground, from his right side.

Patrick landed on his back, before cold hands grabbed him by the neck and started choking the life out of him. It was Maverick, and he stared at Patrick with a crazed look in his eyes. The crack was now bigger, now covering the whole left side of his face.

Trying with all his might, Patrick tried to pry off the clone's arms. But Maverick was too strong, and he was losing oxygen. He looked at the door of the Mystery Shack.

"Quite an experience to feel fear, isn't it," asked Maverick. Patrick reached out towards the door with a left hand, and tried to make a sound to alert the people inside that he was here and in danger. "That's what it is to be a clone."

Patrick vision was starting to cloud up, and he went back to trying to get Maverick to let him go. Maverick only smiled again, and tightened his grip, as the crack enlarged.

Knowing that there was no other way to save himself from death, but Patrick's right hand lets go of Maverick's arm and felt around for a something to smash against the clone.

Just as he wasn't going to make it, his hand grabbed his crowbar. Patrick then bashed it into the left side of Maverick's head.

The result was a loud cracking sound that echoed in the rain, and Maverick screamed in pain and let go of Patrick. The second he was released, Patrick breathed in heavily and in big gasps of air. His clone stood up while holding his face, and the teenager quickly moved away.

He backed away until his back hit the steps of the door. He was about to stand up, throw up the door, and run in. But he didn't Patrick just stayed where he was and stared at Maverick.

 **{Play music: "** _ **Tears in Rain"**_ **, by Vangelis}**

After a moment of hiding his face, Maverick removed his hands. Most of the left side of his face was gone, destroyed like glass when Patrick stroke him. Patrick stared at him in shock at what he did, while Maverick shared back at him with his only eye left. Both panting heavily.

"Maverick, I'm sorry," Patrick said.

"As am I," said the clone, before collapsing on his knees. His crack was now getting larger, and more pieces of his face were breaking off. "It's okay dude, I had a good run. I've—felt things I wouldn't believe I could. The happiness to be able to be freed and cloned. The fear…of losing something, and how desperate I was to keep it, that I gave into my own madness."

Patrick stared at him with wide eyes. Right now, Maverick wasn't the bloodthirsty monster he saw that tried to choke the life out of him. Now, he was a boy. Right now, the clone wasn't just some fake him. Now, he was being his own individual.

"But most of all, I was able to feel like…I've made a friend in you. Regret. Anger. Calm. Joy. Laugher. All those moments will be lost in time... like tears in rain... Time to die."

Patrick watched as tears flowed out of his eyes, as Maverick gave him one last smile. Then, Maverick's whole body, starting from the top of his head, started to break up into tiny shards of glass. Slowly it was destroyed, until all that was left was a pile of glass on the ground.

All was silent and still, as the rain stopped. Patrick didn't move from where he was on the ground, staring tearfully at the pile of glass. Even when the door opened and a crowd carrying Pacifica, who won the contest, rushed out and chanted her name. They all just went around the depressed teen.

However, he stood up as Officer Blubs and Deputy Durland were the last ones out. Patrick stopped the fat cop, wrote the address where the murdered creator was on a piece of paper, and pushed it hard into his stomach. "There's been a murder. The murderers gone now," he said, before the two officers ran to their police cruiser. Whether or not they actually go there right away or not wasn't really something Patrick wanted to care about.

Grabbing a shove, he dug out a small hole and pushed the remains of Maverick in it. Patrick then covered it up and sighed. "You're in a better place now," he said to Maverick.

 **{End song here}**

Afterwards, Patrick opened the door to the Mystery Shack. In there was Stan, happily counting money. Meanwhile, Mabel was dancing with Candy and Grenda, while Soos was playing music. Wendy was by the side, nodding her head to the beat.

Dipper was on the couch, smiling at girls dancing and having fun. However, he noticed Patrick at the open door, and was taken back by his wet clothing that was almost covered in mud, bruises around his neck, and a miserable look on his face. "Whoa, Patrick. Are you okay?"

The others stopped and looked at him, also surprised by his state. Patrick blinked for a moment, before wiping his nose. "Not really, Dipper," he said, before walking over to the couch. When he reached them, he fell back on it and groaned loudly. Patrick then picked up his legs and laid down, arms crossed, and with his head on the armrest.

The others continued to stare at him. Stan shrugged and went back to counting money. However, the twins, Soos, Grenda, Candy, and Wendy were worried about

With his eyes closed, he told them. "Let's just say that…it didn't have a really happy ending."

* * *

 **AN:**

 **And there you have it: the seventh chapter of "Weirder Things."**

 **Things didn't end all that happily, but that was intended. I did say that the events of the chapter were going to be darker and a more mature, so why end on a positive note instead of a more fitting, sad ending.**

 **At first, I was going to make this into a parody of John Carpenter's** _ **The Thing**_ **, but then I remembered that** _ **Gravity Falls**_ **actually did have an episode inspired by the movie.**

 **So, I decided to stick with clones, and instead was inspired by another movie. If you've paid attention at Maverick's last words, you'll know that it was from** _ **Blade Runner**_ **, one of my favorite sci-fi movies ever.**

 **I didn't put too much focus on Mabel and Dipper's part of the story, as it's nothing we haven't seen before in the show. The only thing different about it was that Dipper was involved, but that didn't make me want to go over all those scenes and rewrite them just to include him.**

 **You know, I'm still thinking of doing a** _ **Bravest Warriors**_ **story, but I can't figure out what other series I should crossover with it.**

 **That's it for this story. Please be sure to Favorite and Follow if you like the story, and if you want me to keep writing this story, then please leave a REVIEW. I would really appreciate it if you do. If you any questions or discussions you'd have for me, then please PM me.**

 **Thank you for reading, may God bless you, and have a wonderful day.**


	8. Irrational History

**Gamelover41592:** Thanks!

 **Chance Green G King:** Thanks for the idea, man. I know it wasn't what you originally wanted to see, but I'm glad that you enjoyed it nonetheless.

 **1jesus:** Thanks, man!

 **LoamyCoffee:** I'm already doing a _Steven Universe_ story. But I don't blame you. _Bravest Warriors_ is a strange series that not many know about.

 **Guest (Bobby Jenkins):** I could do it with _Adventure Time_ , but it will be weird to do. Both shows are made by the same guy.

 **RedHood001:** Thanks. I'll definitely try and do good and sad endings for the story. As for the Bill Cipher family member, I'm not sure.

 **coldblue2015:** Thank you very much. I haven't actually seen much of you late. "Heroes of Tomorrow" was updated if you want to check it out.

 **South Down:** Well, it'll be happening more soon.

 **Guest (Matt):** Thank you.

 **gods-own:** Thanks!

 **BLACK-BIRD76:** I think things will get pretty intense and even personal.

 **Dcraus:** I'll do more. I'm thinking of having Summerween parodied with the episode, The House of Discontent.

 **Saberwolf155:** Yes, I am.

 **:** I will not have Bill win in the end.

 **Guest (JJ):** I've kind of already have a _Highschool of the Dead_ story planned.

 **Guest (Flynn):** I don't watch _the 100_. I just wasn't that interested.

 **gabeherndon308:** You've been pushing that story on me lot. Anyways, we've already talked about it.

 **Guest (M):** I haven't seen _Tekken_ , but I've heard about _Maken-ki_. As for _Blue Exorcist_ , I'd like to do that series.

 **crawforddarius7:** I'll think about it.

 **Guest:** That's definitely going to be a very long and never-ending story.

* * *

It's been a few days since the party at the Mystery Shack. The same night that Patrick was forced to kill his mirror clone, Maverick. His heart was still heavy, and the teen was often unable to sleep for days. He hasn't eaten as much as he used to, and was often lost in his thoughts.

Eventually he told the twins about what happened, after they frequently asked him what happened that night. They were surprised when Patrick told them he cloned himself, but found it funny how Maverick stole Robbie's bike. However, Dipper and Mabel were horrified that Maverick was going to kill their cousin to keep himself alive. And then Patrick told them how he killed his clone.

Mabel and Dipper were shocked and horrified. Not because he killed his own clone, but because their cousin almost died. The sister broken into tears and hugged him tightly, with Dipper also joining him for a group hug. Afterwards, they told Patrick that what happened wasn't his fault, and that he was forced to break Maverick. Despite knowing this, Patrick still didn't feel all that good about it.

So, the twins told him that they'll do whatever they could to help him feel better.

And that's what led to this moment.

In the town, the Pines family was sitting in Grunkle Stan's car while they were stuck in traffic.

Stan was starting to get very irritated with the traffic and honked the horn, while the kids were sitting in the back-eating chips. Patrick was sitting in between them. The bags under his eyes were more noticeable and turned a darker shade, due a result of him not being able to get much sleep. During the first days, he also wasn't eating, but luckily the twins were able to convince him to start again.

He felt a tap on his shoulder, and looked at Mabel to see that she attached nachos chips to her ears. "Haha! Check it out, Patrick. Nacho earrings. I'm hilarious!" She said in an attempt to funny.

Patrick stared at her with his tired eyes and smiled. "That's very much debatable," he told her. Patrick knew that while she was being prideful of herself, she really was trying to cheer him up.

"Aw, come on, what's with all this traffic?" Stan exclaimed in frustration, squinting his eyes at was in front of him. "And why is it all..."

Crossing in front of the car were old covered wagons being pulled by horses. The one in front of them had a family who waved at them.

Patrick blinked. "Was that a covered wagon?"

But at that moment, Stan panicked like never before. "Oh no! No! No!" He yelled, looking to his left and right to see more wagons on both sides of his car. Stan quickly stomped the gas pedal and made a sharp turn, driving down another road. "Not today! Not today!"

"Stop the car!" Patrick yelled, fearfully pointing to a few women in front of them. Stan hit the brakes and stopped the car before he could run them over. This spooked the women of course, but they saw that they were carrying baskets of apples while wearing old clothing. And there was even a swan with them.

Stan quickly shifted into reverse and began driving the car backwards.

"Grunkle Stan, what's going on?" Dipper inquired, as he and Mabel were as freaked out as Patrick.

"We gotta get outta here. Before it's too late!" Stan exclaimed, looking over his shoulder to see where he was going. He then suddenly brought the car to a shrieking stop. Looking all around, Stan saw that they were now trapped between a group of covered wagons that were circling around the car. "They've circled the wagons! We're trapped! Nooooooooo!"

While Patrick and Dipper were wondering what the heck just happened, Mabel heard the sound of a cow bell from her side. She looked outside her window and sees a cow staring at her with big cute eyes. "I've gotta good feeling about today," she told the others.

Patrick said, "I don't."

* * *

 **{Play** _ **Stranger Things**_ **theme by Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein}**

 **[0:00-0:03]**

 _At the beginning of the intro, there is nothing but blackness._

 **[0:03-0:08]**

 _Then about three seconds later, a bunch photographs started falling from above in slow motion._

 **[0:08-0:11]**

 _Getting a closer look at one of the photographs, while others twirled and spun in the background in slow motion, shows the town of Gravity Falls from a distance._

 **[0:11-0:14]**

 _Another picture shows the Mystery Shack during the night time, with bright lights shining thought the windows._

 **[0:14-0:16]**

 _One photo shows a thundering sky that had a large, flying creature's shadow being seen through the dark clouds. The camera then focuses on a picture behind the previous one, showing large claw marks on a tree trunk, as more photos were seen falling._

 **[0:16-0:19]**

 _Three photos are focused on now, one showing an angry Gnome, the second showing something that resembles the Long Ness Monster, and the third show a dinosaur tooth trapped in amber._

 **[0:19-0:25]**

 _The camera shows the cluster of photographs continuing to fall, before angling downwards to show all of them lying on a flat surface, collecting in a pile._

 **[0:25-0:40]**

 _The camera then gradually moves back to show more of the photos landing. After the last of the photos were on the surface, the camera moves upwards, displaying nothing but blackness again._

 **[0:40-45]**

 _Then the title of the story appeared in a flash of light._

 _ **WEIRDER THINGS**_

 **[0:45-end]**

 _It then disappeared, before the chapter title appeared._

 **Chapter Eight**

 **Irrational History**

* * *

Patrick, the twins and Stan got out of the car, and the three kids started walking around. Looking around in wonder that the old fashioned-looking Main Street.

"Man. Look at the town," said Dipper, before the three stopped. He held up a postcard up for a second, showing the modern-day version of Gravity Falls with color. When he lowered it, they were looking that the town as it was a sepia shade, but it is just due to a pane of dirty glass being carried by two workers.

"Dirty glass," said one worker, holding one end of the pane of dirty glass. They walked by and the town's colors were restored. "We got dirty glass! Dirty glass."

"It's like we went back in time," Patrick commented.

"Much worse," Stan grumbled as he walked up behind them. "It's Pioneer Day. Every year these yahoos dress up like idiots to celebrate the day Gravity Falls was founded."

"Welcome to 1863!" Toby Determined walked over to them, dressed like a news pa, and held out a newspaper that he grabbed from his bag of newspapers.

"I will _break_ you, little man!" Stan held up a fist, threatening to punch the man. This was enough to scare the ugly man and sent him running for the hill. Only to crash into a barrel.

"Wow! Look! Candle dipping!" Mabel exclaimed happily, pointing to some women candle dripping the old-fashion way.

"Whoa, gold panning!" Dipper pointed to people doing the very activity. Old Man McGucket, who is also gold panning, can be heard, saying "Gold!"

Patrick's attention was then caught by a wedding that was going. "Hey, look! A wedding!" but his joy was turned into confusion when a man had a woodpecker on his arm.

"I now pronounce you man and wife," the priest said to the man and… _woodpecker?!_

The woodpecker pecked her husband's hand, and then the man proclaimed, "I do!"

Patrick deadpanned, as the twins stared with him. "What the fuck? Is that even allowed!?"

"Oh yeah. I remember this," said Dipper before pulling out Journal 3. He flipped through the pages before stopping at a specific page. "In Gravity Falls it used to be legal to marry woodpeckers."

The woodpecker guy heard them and walked over. "Oh, it's still legal," he told them. He then looked at his new wife and placed a hand on his shoulder, where the woodpecker is perched. "Very legal."

He walked away as Patrick's tired eyes stared in disbelief. "WHAT MORON WOULD MAKE _THAT_ LEGAL!?" He yelled loudly, before an announcer spoke.

" _Come one and all for the opening ceremonies!"_ The announcer said.

The twins already wanted to go, so they looked at Patrick. He looked at them and saw them wordlessly asking if he wanted to go and see. Who knows, it could be fun. "Hey, Stan, you coming," he asked, prompting the kids to smile. Now knowing that he wanted to go.

"No, thank you!" Stan denied with a stretched-out hand. "Just remember if you come back to the Shack talking like these people, you're dead to me."

Dipper decided to test him on his word. He closed one eye and started talking like a pioneer. "There's a carpetbagger in the turnip cellar!"

"Well hornswabber my haversack!" Mabel mimicked what Dipper was doing.

Patrick chuckled and joined in on the action. It's moments like this that he's more than happy to have them as his cousins. "Then let's get our rawhides on over," he said in a cowboy-like voice, while standing like one with his hands on his hips and his thumbs in his pants, pretending that he was holding a belt.

They then spit like prospectors on the ground, before running off, laughing.

"Dead to me!" Stan yelled after them and waved a fist.

Not noticing a shadowy figure watching him from afar. They stood there for a moment, before walking away.

* * *

Patrick and the twins arrived at where the townsfolk were gathered in a crowd at the assembly. The ceremony was staged on a large wooden stage made from wooden planks and logs.

"Here-ye, here-ye!" Sheriff Blubs said into a microphone while wearing a coonskin cap. Behind him, sitting in some chairs was Pacifica and her family. "Ye olde commencement ceremony is about to commence."

"Woo!" Deputy Durland ran onto the stage while ringing a cow bell. Unlike his partner, who only had on the hat and still wore his police uniform, Durland was completely dressed like a prospector. "I got a bell!"

While he continued to ring the bell, a robber dressed like a bandit was able to grab an old woman's purse and steal it, before making a break for it. "Oh, no! Police, my purse!" The elder cried out, before they all heard the sound of something hitting someone.

They all looked to see Patrick had knocked out the bandit with his crowbar. He picked up the purse and walked over to the old woman. "Here you are."

"Oh, thank you," she said gratefully.

Neither Durland or Blubs attempted to do anything about the now knocked out robber. Durland just started ringing the bell with a great amount of enthusiasm. "Ring ring! Ring ring! Woo!"

Blubs chuckled fondly and shook his head. "He sure loves his bell."

"Idiots," Patrick grumbled.

Pacifica then walked up to the microphone. Like everyone else, she was dressed up for Pioneer Day. Wearing a light turquoise dress with a purple belt around it, and a yellow belt buckle in the front. She also wore black leggings underneath her cream boots and had a coonskin cap. Attached to her ears are purple arrowhead earrings and she had a skinny purple bracelet around her arm.

Patrick noticed that Dipper had on a slight blush on his face, and raised an eyebrow. Didn't he say he didn't like this girl?

Pacifica taped the microphone and turned to face the crowd. "Howdy, everyone! You all know me, Pacifica Northwest, great-great granddaughter of town-founder, Nathaniel Northwest." She announced while posing identically to the statue she was gesturing to. It was a large statue of Nathaniel Northwest. "I'm also very rich."

Her parents and the crowd applauded. Okay, now Patrick was starting to see why Dipper didn't like the girl.

"Now if you've got the pioneer spirit, we ask you come on up and introduce yourself."

Mabel gasped with a big grin. "Audience participation!"

"Mabel, isn't that girl kinda like your archenemy?" Dipper inquired, glancing at Pacifica as she nonchalantly looked at her nails.

"That's water under the bridge," Mabel insisted, before running get onstage, while laughing.

The girl twin walked over to Pacifica's right side, as the blonde gestured to her. "Our first newcomer is..." She looked at who walked up, but when Pacifica saw it was Mabel, she glared angrily at her. "Mabel..."

"Yeah!" Mabel yelled, jumping in front of Pacifica. "Let's get this Pioneer Day started! Right guys? USA! USA!"

"USA! USA!" Patrick, Dipper, and the crowd cheered all together.

Then some guy next to Patrick, who was wearing a baseball hat with the American flag and a yellow tank top with the same flag shouted while crying tears of joy. "USA, USA!"

"I'm sorry to break it to you, but Pioneer Day is for serious people, and you look and act ridiculous." Pacifica wasted no time and insulted Mabel. She focused on Mabel's sweater. "I mean, a puppy playing basketball? Are you always this silly?"

"Hey, I can be serious!" Mabel insisted, before making a poor attempt to glares hat her.

"You do have nachos hanging from your ears, hon."

Shocked, Mabel touched her nacho earrings and blushed in embarrassment.

"Hey!" Dipper yelled angrily at Pacifica, as he just about heard enough from the girl. "Back off, you can't talk to my sister like that!"

"Haha, wow, I'm embarrassed for you," she told Dipper, before placing a hand on Mabel's shoulder and looked to the audience. "Give her a hand, everybody!"

The crowd applauded. However, Patrick and Dipper looked worried. Mabel's mouth trembled a little, before she started to sadly walk off the stage.

"Now who wants to hear more about _me?_ "

"No one, you bitch!" Patrick snapped at the Northwest, before he and Dipper started making their way through the crowd to get to Mabel. For him, it was no longer about forgetting about what happened to Maverick. All he wanted was to cheer up Mabel. When the two caught up to the young girl, he asked, "Hey, you okay?"

"I need some old-timey butterscotch," Mabel told them in a miserable tone.

"Let's get out of here," Dipper said, throwing a glare at Pacifica over his shoulder. And with that, the Pines kids leave the festival.

* * *

Meanwhile, Stan was in his car trying to get out of town. However, that wasn't going anywhere because the back wheels were stuck in the mud. He grumbled upon seeing he wasn't getting out and was just about to get out and walk back when he saw a man and his donkey walking by his window. "Hey there, uh, donkey boy! Give me a hand with my car, huh," he asked.

"Here in 1863, I have never heard-tell of a 'car,'" the man said, before poking the car with a crowbar. "Pray-tell, what is this magic wheel box?"

"Ah, c'mon, Steve, you're a mechanic for fuck's sake! Cut me some slack." Stan demanded.

"'Slack?' I am unfamiliar with this _bold_ , new expression," Steve said, still keeping up the act.

"I can't take this anymore!" Stan finally snapped and grabbed Steve by the collar, shaking him around. "I'm getting dumber every second I'm here, you son of a bitch!"

Then out of nowhere, Blubs and Durland ran up alongside the car, nightsticks in their hands. "Are we gonna have to intervene here?"

Stan complied, but wasn't really taking the cops all that serious. Knowing that they were two of the dumbest people in Gravity Falls. "Oh, look. The 'Constable.' What are you gonna do? Throw me in 'ye stocks?'" He mocked the two before laughing at them.

 _ **A few moments later**_

It turned out, that that's what they were going to do. With a set of stocks that were continentally a few meters away from where they were originally. With Stan bent and his neck and hands on the lower board, the upper board closed down, trapping him in the restraining device. "Aw, c'mon!" Stan yelled. His attention was then caught by the humming voice of Gideon. The little boy was walking by wearing old fashioned, nobleman attire, carrying a large bag of tomatoes. "Hey, nice outfit, Gideon. You actually look _less_ girly than usual." He then started laughing.

"Why, Stanford. I'm just a humble tomato farmer, selling his wares. Whoops, I dropped one," Gideon said with fake innocence. He then threw one of his tomato at Stan's right eye. "Whoops, I dropped another one." Gideon then threw another tomato, which hit Stan's left eye.

"Ugh!" With his fury rising and tomatoes still covering his eyes, Stan looked up at the sky and screams: "PIONEER DAY!"

"Jeez, Stanly. Look at you. Causing trouble wherever you go." Stan's anger quickly halted when he heard that voice. It was old and elderly, but he could never forget that female voice. Could it be? It couldn't be.

A hand then reached out and whipped away the smashed tomatoes off his face, and Stan saw that standing in front of him was an elder woman around his age with grey hair that was tied into a bun. Her eyes were black, with pale skin. She was wearing old fashion clothing too.

"You never changed," she said to him with a smirk.

Stan stared at the woman with wide, shocked eyes. "Veronica?"

* * *

As for Patrick, Dipper, and Mabel, the three Pines kids were sitting in front of the large statue of Nathaniel Northwest. After the teenager bought them some snacks, they just sat there on the stone steps of the statue. Looking miserable.

But out of all of them, Mabel looked the worst. She unwrapped one of the pieces of candy that Patrick gave her and ate it. "Can I ask you guys something," Mabel asked in a serious tone. "Do you think I'm silly?" Sitting on both sides of her, Patrick and Dipper shared nervous glance.

"We are not legally required to answer these questions," they said together.

The reply was enough to get Mabel upset and she slapped herself on the head. "I knew it! The nacho earrings, the sweater."

"C'mon, Mabel, being silly is kind of you think!" Patrick said, placing a hand on her elbow. He forgot all about Maverick, and was only worried about helping his cousin. "Besides, you love that sweater!"

"I did before Pacifica ruined it for me. She ruins everything!" Mabel said, looking like she was going to cry. She then threw off her nacho earrings, took off her sweater, and tied it around her waist. "I thought I was being charming, but I guess people see me as a big joke."

Patrick was wanting to point out that it wasn't charming that she also bullied her brother and acted like a brat at times, but decided not to. This wasn't the time. As for the twin brother, Dipper stood up, turned around, and glared at the statue of the Northwest's ancestor. "Why does Pacifica think that being related to the town founder means she can treat everyone like garbage," he inquired.

"Tell me about it. Pacifica wouldn't be acting all though if she wasn't," Patrick said, punching his left fist into his right palm. "Someone needs to take her down a peg."

As soon as his cousin said that, Dipper gasped. "Wait a minute! That's it!" Dipper told them, before pulling out Journal 3. "I feel like I read something about Pacifica's great-great grandfather before." He flipped through the pages before stopping. "Of course! Oh, this is perfect." Dipper held the book so that he was grabbing one end, and Patrick was holding the other. With Mabel between them, they were looking at it together. Dipper then spoke in a deep voice, "In my investigations..."

Patrick raised an idea brow at him. "What are you doing?"

Dipper used his normal voice to ask, "Should- should I do the voice?"

"Nuh uh." Mabel shook her head with one eye closed and her teeth showing.

"I'll just read... normal." And so, Dipper used his normal voice to read from the journal. "In my investigations I recently made a discovery. Nathaniel Northwest may not be the true founder of Gravity Falls! I believe this secret is emburied somewhere on the enclosed document. If only I could crack the code."

Patrick saw the document that was folded and taped to the second page and opened it. They gasped when it was revealed that the document was covered by a complex series of letters, symbols and words. Along with a large triangle with an eye. Just seeing the eyes didn't really give Patrick a good feeling. But he was still excited. It could be an adventure just like in _Indiana Jones_ or _the Goonies_! "Oh, man! Do you have any idea what this means!" He told the two with wide, excited eyes. "If this cover-up is true, it means Pacifica's whole family is a fraud.

"This could be a major conspiracy!" Dipper exclaimed, taking the document. "I got to investigate this!"

Mabel then got up. "Wait! I'm coming with you. Conspiracies are serious, right?"

"Oh yeah, definitely."

"Well, if I help you crack this code, then nobody could call me silly again!"

"Count me in," Patrick said, with a smile. Even though he still looked like a wreck, he was bright as day. "I've always wanted to do something like this. Besides, it's not that dangerous. What do you say, Mystery Crew?"

"I thought you hated that," Mabel said.

"Oh, I do. I really do," Patrick said with a strained smile. The only reason he wanted to go with the name is because this was all to get back at Pacifica and to cheer up Mabel.

They three fist bumped and started to run off. Mabel grabbed her bag of candy, dropping some as she followed her family. However, unbeknownst to them was that Sheriff Blubs was behind the statue, listening to everything they were saying. Blubs got nervous and picked up his walkie-talkie. "This is Sheriff Blubs. We've got a code sepia!"

[What?! And what are you doing about it?]

Blubs looked over the corner to see where the kids were running off to. "I'm following them right now."

[Find them and stop them. There's no room for error.]

"I understand. Blubs out," he said to the anonymous caller and then turned to Durland, who was standing in front of him. "Deputy Durland, maintaining this cover-up is the mission we've been training for our entire careers. Are you ready?"

Durland yelled while ringing his bell. "Woo!"

"Hehe, if being delightful was a crime, you'd be breaking the law," Blubs chuckled.

"Let's go get 'em!" Durland exclaimed, before the two ran off after the three Pines kids.

* * *

"Back in the olden days, pioneers drew subsistence from telling stories 'round the fire," Old Man McGucket told to some children that were sitting around the fireplace inside the Gravity Falls Library. In a cozy section of the library. "So let's eat some books, children! Go ahead, eat the books!" McGucket bit into the book he had open and started tearing off a part of it like an animal.

Meanwhile, just a few feet away, Patrick, Dipper and Mabel were at a table with a couple of books on it that they were reading.

As the teenager and female twin were sitting a reading, Dipper was standing in front of a painting of Nathaniel Northwest. Glaring at it with the document in hand. "Alright, Mabel and Patrick, if we can prove Nathaniel Northwest wasn't the real founder of Gravity Falls, it will finally put Pacifica in her place."

"And solving a mystery will prove that I'm not silly. I'm serious," Mabel said, before glaring into at a book she was looking at. The twin then lapped up a few pieces of candy, that were on the table, into her mouth with her tongue. "Seeeeriousss..."

Patrick deadpanned at her, before turning to Dipper. "So, what do we have to do?"

"We just need to crack this code," the male twin responded, before placing some slides into a projector. He then held up the document up and turned on the device. "Let me see... it's not Egyptian, it's not numerology, it's not—" he stopped on one slide "wait-of course!" He held the paper up to one of the symbols that was a triangle. "The triangle is the alchemist symbol for flame. Lighting the parchment on fire will reveal the secret message!"

"So, we have to burn the paper—the same one that's going to give us all the answers?" Patrick said, hoping that Dipper knows just how insane that all seems.

"It's so obvious!" Mabel, being Mabel, agreed with her brother.

With that, Dipper picked up a lit candle. "Alright, let's just light this sucker up and—Mabel!" Dipper snapped after seeing that his sister had folded the document into a paper hat and was now wearing it.

"Mwop! I just made a hat," she said, before looking up. That's when she realized what she was doing was silly. And not to mention stupid. "Ugh, I just did something silly again." She then blew a raspberry.

Patrick looked at the hat closely as gasped. "Wait, Mabel." Patrick took the candle from Dipper and held it close to the paper hat/document. He gasped when he saw it was now a map. "You folded it into a map!"

"And I was gonna burn it..." Dipper said, criticizing himself. Why did he ever think that burning would be the right thing to do?

"We're on the lookout for two kids and a teenager who might be reading." The sound of Sheriff talking to a librarian caught the kids' attention, and they looked down towards the entrance to see the two dumb cops standing there. With their left sides facing the Pines.

"We're hunting them down for secret reasons!" Durland said, before ringing his bell. "WOO!"

Patrick and the twins ducked down and hide under the table. This was bad. They had to get out of there. But why were the two after them? They watched as Durland knocked a row of books off a shelf while saying "DERP!" and then they turned around and left. "You don't think that they're after us, right," Patrick asked.

"I don't know," Dipper said with a serious face. He really didn't know. But if he had to guess, it's that the cops were hired by the Northwest family to keep them from the truth. "Maybe we should take this elsewhere..."

Mabel took off the hat and held it between them. "This map should lead us to..."

* * *

"...The Gravity Falls Museum of History." Mabel, Dipper, and Patrick stopped in front of said museum. Looking up at its Greek/Roman inspired exterior.

"You realize what this means, you two," Dipper said, before looking up and squinted.  
"We're gonna have to break in." He said that last part in a dramatic way.

"...And here are your free Pioneer Day passes, and your balloons, blue, pink, red," said a woman after the three were inside the museum at the entrance. The woman handed them their passes and their balloons. Dipper got the blue, Mabel got the pink, and Patrick got the red balloon.

 _Still_ thinking that they were breaking in, Dipper looked up and squinting again. "We're in."

And so, the three started walking through the museum. They had no idea where they were going to find the next clue, so Mabel asked, "What are we gonna do next, steal Thomas Jefferson's rib cage?"

Dipper and Patrick looked at her in disgust. "Ewww, no. According to the map, the next clue about the real town founder should be right... here!" Dipper lowered the map, and looked at the art piece in front of them. It was a triangular, abstract, stone piece that was mounted on the wall.

"Then we better do this fast," Patrick told them with a serious tone. He and the twins approached the piece. "Those cops weren't at the library to check out books."

"I don't think the one with the bell can read," Mabel said.

"So, what is it anyway," Dipper asked, and all three of them stared at the exhibit. Trying to analyze it to make any sense of it. The hummed together like a thinking group of scholars. All this looking at old things made Mabel start to get bored. So, she turned and walked over to a bench that was behind them to sit down.

Resting her head on her hands, she continued looking at it. Mabel then started getting into different positions on the bench. "Hey painting, be less stupid!" She demanded, before turning upside-down on the bench. However, while upside down, she gasped and pointed at the painting. "It worked!"

"Huh?" Patrick and Dipper looked at her with wide eyes. Did she really have the right idea? Running over, both males laid upside-down on the bench.

Once upside-down, they were stunned to see that the painting now showed an angel with her eyes closed, an open bible in her right hand, and pointing to something with her left hand.

"Great Scott!" Patrick gasped. "It's not abstract, it's upside-down!"

"I think I've seen that statue at the cemetery," Mabel told them.

"Let's go! Quick!" Dipper exclaimed, before the three stood up-right and got off the bench. Once they did, however, they started to experience a head rush. Making them hold their heads in pain.

Meanwhile, in the front entrance, Blubs and Durland were talking to the woman. "I'm sorry, but we're all out of pink balloons," she said sincerely to the Deputy, who wanted a pink balloon, while his partner got a blue one.

Durland looked down in disappoint. "Why did we even come?"

[Officer Blubs.]

Hearing the man's voice over the walkie-talkie startled Blubs enough to make him let go of his balloon. He and Durland ran into the museum so that they were out of earshot. Once they were, he picked up the walkie-talkie. "Blubs here."

[Have the targets been apprehended?]

"Negative, but we're close. I promise, those kids'll never get past us," Blubs said. Only to eat those words when Patrick, Dipper, Mabel ran right past them. "Hey! Wait!" But the Pines kids didn't stop and ran out of the museum.

* * *

Back with Stan and the woman, Veronica, the two were still where they were. Stan was trying to get out of the stock, while Veronica pulled up a rocking chair and was knitting. At first they were talking to each other like old friends wanting to catch up on lost time, until their attention was caught by the sound of the woodpecker guy arguing with his newly wedded wife. "This is just sad," Veronica said with a smirk, looking through the window.

"For the last time, we are not going south for the winter! Our home is here!" yelled the man. The woodpecker pecked at the table. "You _always_ say that!" He then kicked open the door and stormed out of the house.

"You know you can at least try and help me," Stan said through his teeth, with a hairpin in his mouth. He got it from Veronica, who wasn't going to help him. She wanted to see if he could get out himself. But also used it as an opportunity to get him to stay and talk.

"I know. But come on, where's the fun in that," asked Veronica with a chuckle.

Stan groaned, irritated, before going back and struggling to get out of the stocks by using the hairpin to unlock the lock. "C'mon! C'mon, ugh!" He wasn't successful and dropped the pin.

Then, to make matters even worse than they were, Pacifica walked over and picked up the pin. Seeing that it was Stan, she decided to have some fun. "Well, if it isn't Mabel's uncle, Mr. Pines. Looking for this," she asked mockingly, holding up the pin.

"Yeah, yeah. What d' ya want, money," Stan asked in annoyance.

"I want you to say that the Northwest family is the best family in Gravity Falls," Pacifica said checking her nails.

"Oh sure, you want that in writing," Veronica asked rhetorically, still knitting.

Pacifica's right eye twitch, but she was able to hold back her outburst and smiled at the elderly woman. "Hello there, ma'am. I don't think who've met before," she said with fake innocence. "I'm—"

"Oh, I know who you are Pacifica Northwest, great-great granddaughter of town-founder, Nathaniel Northwest," Veronica stated, looking up from her knitting project, and staring at Pacifica with a blank expression. "I know a lot about you. About your family and their past _deeds_. Many of them you probably don't even know about. I'm a historian after all, I seek the truth and know the truth. But also know that the people I work with are more powerful than you and your family could ever have dreamed of being. So, know this, take one step out of line with me, little girl, and you and your family's name will be dragged through the mud, before it's completely _forgotten_."

That not only shocked Stan, but scared Pacifica. She stared at Veronica with wide and frightened eyes, before backing away and running away.

"Damn," said Stan.

"I know. I wonder if I was too hard," Veronica said before thinking for a moment. She then chuckled and waved it off. "Ah, I don't care! Bahahaha!"

Stan was instantly reminded on how scary she could be.

* * *

"So, what now?" Patrick asked. After easily outrunning Blubs and Durland, he, Dipper, and Mabel were in the cemetery. Upon entering, Mabel took them to the statue, which turned out to be where she met "Norman", the same ex-boyfriend she had that turned out to be a bunch of gnomes.

Dipper looked at the statue's left hand, as it pointed off in the distance. "Ah...The statue must be pointing to the next clue," he said, before turning and looked in direction statue was pointing.

Patrick turned to Mabel. Maybe she knew what it was pointing to. "What do you think—oh for the love of…"

Turned out that Mabel was on the statue and having the finger sticking into her nose. "Oh, gross! She's picking my nose! Ha ha!" Mabel stopped laughing when the tip of the statue's finger bends upward. "Ach."

However, this caused the stone grave seal to pull back and open up. Patrick and Dipper looked in amazement as it revealed a secret passageway that led down below into the underground. "Mabel, look!" Dipper said, pointing down into the hole.

"Ha! Who's silly now, Pacifica? Bam!" Mabel bragged and punched her fist into her palm. She then tried to jump down from the statue, winched in pain as her nose still had the finger in it, which tugged on her. "Ahh! Ow. Ow. Ow."

Patrick came over, grabbed her, and lifted her off of the finger and placed her on the ground. "Okay, let's go," he told them, before pulling out a flashlight and his crowbar. Patrick was the first to go down into the strange and mysterious tunnel. But he went first just so that he'd know what was going to happen and that his cousins were right behind him. "Stay close, you two. It could be dangerous."

"Now we're getting into real conspiracy mode," Mabel said with determination. "I feel so serious." She then pulled out a piece of candy and ate it. Throwing away the wrapper.

They reached the bottom of the stairs and started walking down a tunnel. "Okay, look out for booby traps," Dipper told them.

"Ha! Booby traps." Mabel laughed at the joke.

However, she wasn't watching where she was going, and stepped on a tile that was sticking out of the floor. Their hearts almost jumped into their mouths as that triggered some noises that came from the side rock walls.

Patrick's crowbar was then suddenly hit by a dart. Freaked out, he looked towards the left wall, as a bunch of darts came shooting out towards him and the twins.

"Get down!" He yelled, pushing the twins down, just before some could hit them in the head. Patrick then grabbed his family and started running towards the end. Maneuvering past the darts coming at them. Miraculously, he was able to dodge all the darts and keep them from hitting his cousins.

But then he tripped over a rock, and fell down into a slid-like tunnel. They screamed as they ride down the path, before Patrick stopped after breaking through a large spider web. The twins crashed behind him, and they groaned for a moment.

Patrick rubbed his head in pain for a moment, before standing up and shining the flashlight at where they were. He gasped when he saw that the path led them to a small chamber that was filled with many relics and historical items.

The twins were also amazed as they walked into the towards the items. Patrick walked over to a saber that was tucked away in its sheath. He picked it up and pulled it out, amazed that it looked brand new. "What is this place," he asked.

Mabel walked over to a small table that had a film projector and some documents. "It's a treasure trove of historic-y, secret-y things," she said, picking up the documents.

The first page was about the secret of Abraham Lincoln's hat. There were two pictures; one showed Lincoln with his top hat on, and the other of him without his top hat. In the last picture there was a hand sticking out of the top of his head.

Mabel looked at the next page, and she saw Benjamin Franklin wearing earrings, and the sub-caption says that he was secretly a woman.

"Oh, man! Ben Franklin secretly was a woman!" Mabel said.

"Hey, jackpot!" Dipper said, shining his light onto a document that was titled 'The Northwest Cover-up'. He approached the pedestal and picked it up. "Now we'll find out who the real town founder was." Dipper opened and started reading from the document: "'Let it be here recorded that Nathaniel Northwest, fabled founder of Gravity Falls, was, in fact, a fraud...as well as a waste-shoveling village _idiot_?'"

After seeing the image of Nathaniel as the idiot caused Patrick to laugh out loud. "Oh, man! That's rich, I tell'ya! Oh, wait'll the town hear about this!"

Mabel then got excited, believing that this is what she's been looking for. "Once people see that I uncovered a historical conspiracy, they can never call me silly!"

Once he calmed down, Patrick looked at Dipper after laughing. "So, who's the guy they tried to cover up?"

Dipper shined the light back to the document and started reading it again. "'The true founder of Gravity Falls was sir lord, Quentin Trembley, III, Esquire.'"

Patrick raised an eyebrow. "Who the hell is he?"

Suddenly a light turned on and shined on them from behind, making them turn around to see that standing there was Blubs and Durland. " _That's_ none of your business!" proclaimed the black cop.

The kids gasped. Then Patrick pulled out the saber.

Blubs then surprised them when he pulled out a pistol.

The sight of the gun made Patrick drop the sword and put his hands up. "Wait, since when did _you_ two carry guns," he asked.

"Whoo! We gotcha! Whoo!" Shouted Durland, ringing his bell. But then he stopped, as he started to get weak. Barely looking like he wasn't going to stay standing for long. "Whoo! Hmm whoo-hoo." The idiotic cop then fell on his face and passed out. They all then saw that several tranquilizer darts were sticking out of his back and head.

"He got hit with quite a few of those darts," Blubs said, before aiming his gun at the kids.

This prompted Patrick to place himself in front of the twins. "Whoa! What are you doing!"

"I hate to do this, Pines, but Quentin Trembley's a matter of national security," Blubs told him. "Now hand over the file, and no one will get hurt. Trust me, I really don't want to do this."

"Yeah! Ye—ah." Durland shot up to his feet, before nearly losing balance. He stabilized himself by putting his hands on his knees. "Woo. I think I might be colorblind now."

Patrick nodded nervously. He grabbed the document from Dipper and handed it to Blubs. "Wait, this doesn't make any sense," he told the cops. "What do you mean, 'national security?' Why is this guy such a big deal?"

"And who is Quentin Trembley, anyway," Mabel asked, hiding behind Patrick with her brother.

"See for yourself." With the gun in one hand, Blubs removed his hat with the other. Placing it on the table with the projector. The fat man then reached in and took out a reel of film, which also had some dust coming off it.

He put it into the projector and turned it on. Patrick, Dipper, and Mabel turned towards the screen as the film started. Starting with a countdown in black and white.

"Aww, it's black and white?!" Mabel complained.

"Shh! Mabel." Dipper scolded her, before the reel started.

The first thing to be revealed was a government seal. It then showed a government official in an office, looking at the audience as he started speaking. _"If you're watching this, then you are one of eight people in these United States with clearance to view this information. In fact, I myself will be shot as soon as the filming is complete."_ He stopped for a moment, before looking to someone offscreen. " _—What? No? Ho! Well, that's a relief!"_ The official looked back at the camera and continued. " _Of all of America's secrets, the most embarrassing was that of Quentin Trembley: The eighth-and-a-half president of the United States."_

The screen showed Trembly. A man with a very tall, thin head, with a long, pointed nose, and a relatively simple haircut; his sideburns flowed into his very distinct almost mutton chop-like facial hair. An extremely small pair of spectacles rested atop his nose, although he may not need them to see, as they didn't seem to cover his eyes.

"President?" Mabel and Dipper asked together.

"Eight-and-a-half?" Patrick raised an eyebrow.

" _After winning the 1837 election in a landslide…"_ Turned out that wasn't a metaphor, as the video showed a picture of Trembley standing next to the other presidential candidates. Then suddenly a landslide killed the other candidates and the audience. Leaving Trembley the only man standing. _"Quentin Trembley quickly gained a reputation as America's silliest president."_

" _He waged war on pancakes, appointed six babies to the supreme court, and issued the de-pants-ipation proclamation. His state of the union speech was even worse."_

Trembley (reenacted recording): _ **"The only thing we have to fear is gigantic, man-eating spiders!"**_

" _He was kicked out of office and escaped to an uncharted valley he named Gravity Falls, after plummeting into it at high speed."_

" _Trembley's shameful term was erased from history and officially replaced by William Henry Harrison as President and local nobody Nathaniel Northwest as founder of Gravity Falls. The whereabouts of president Trembley's body are unknown."_

And that's where the film ended. "Oh my god, it makes sense," Patrick said, slapping himself in the head with all the information that was given to him finally adding up. No wonder everyone in this town was crazy and stupid! With the exception of a few like Wendy. "So, what happened to Trembley after he founded Gravity Falls?"

"Take a look," Blubs said, pointing to some with his gun. The kids gasped when they saw the Trembley standing behind them. However, he was encased in an amber-colored rectangle made from amber. The best way that Patrick could think of it was if he thought about _Jurassic Park_.

"Whoa! Is that, like, amber or something," Dipper asked after approaching the rectangle and rubbing his finger down on it.

"The fool thought he could live forever by encasing himself in a block of solid peanut brittle," Blubs told the three Pines members. "Smooth move, Mr. President! Finding Trembley's body was our special mission. And now, thanks to you, it's complete."

"Who knew all we had to do was follow a little girl's trail of candy wrappers?" Durland said, holding up one of Mabel's candy wrappers. Patrick and Dipper instantly glared at Mabel, as she knew she messed up really bad.

"Ugh, silly!" Mabel face-palmed herself.

"Yes, Mabel is very stupid," Patrick said, before grinning nervously at the cops. "So, are we free to go?"

"I'm sorry, young man," Blubs declared. "Now that you know the truth, well, we can't let you go around talkin' about it."

The scared Patrick enough to pull out his crowbar and get in front of Dipper and Mabel, as the twins cowered behind him. Fearing for their lives by hugging each other. "Whoa, wait! Please! You're not really going to kill us, are you?!" Patrick exclaimed.

"ARE YOU!?" Durland shouted, freaking out too for some reason.

"No, no." Blubs told the kids, before turning to Durland and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Calm down now, buddy, calm down." He then turned back to the kids. "We're just gonna escort you and all this stuff back to Washington. You ain't comin' back, by the way."

Dipper shared a frightened glance with his twin, before looking up at Patrick and asking, "What are we going to do?" Patrick didn't answer. What could he even do? He'd be shot before he could charge at Blubs. They were beaten.

"Well, time to do this the hard way," Blubs said, and pulled the trigger.

"NO!" Dipper and Mabel screamed, breaking out into tears. However, there was now loud gunshot, and Patrick closed his eyes, but wasn't hit with a bullet. Instead, he was hit in the chest by some kind of paintball. Patrick looked confused at the orange paint shot on his T-shirt and pulled it up to sniff at it.

One sniff, and it was lights out for Patrick. With the last thing he heard was Blubs saying, "Probably should have told him it wasn't real."

* * *

When Patrick came to, he awoke with a groan and headache. Something wasn't right. Everything was moving and shaking, and there were the sounds of a train's whistle and wheels as it ran down the tracks. Patrick groaned as he sat up.

"PATRICK!" Dipper and Mabel screamed before tackling him to the ground. Sobbing a little.

Further confused, Patrick pushed the tearful twins off of himself and sat up again. Then, Patrick looked around and saw that they were in some kind of crate, with Quentin Trembley's body. "What happened," he asked with a groan.

Dipper and Mabel tried to clean their faces with their arms and shirt. "Blubs shot you with some kind of knockout paint, then forced us into this crate. They're taking us to the airport," Dipper explained. Then his expression turned sad. "We didn't think you'd ever wake up."

"…oh." Jesus, he must have really scared them.

"Oh. This is all my fault." Mabel said miserably, sitting down and leaning against the crate beside Trembley. "I can't believe I left a trail of candy wrappers. Pacifica had me pegged all along. I'm just a silly failure, like that embarrassing president what's-his-name." She then broke off a piece of the peanut brittle and ate it.

"Come on, Mabel. You're not a-what's going on!?" Patrick exclaimed as he saw that after Mabel broke off the piece, the whole encasing started to crack. He stood up and the kids ran behind him, as the brittle crumbled away.

The twins and Patrick screamed.

"It is I, Quentin Trembley," proclaimed the eight-and-a-half President of the United State, before ripping his pants right off.

Everyone paused for a short moment to take in what just happened. "What the fuck…" Patrick said, but stopped when he was unable to continue.

"You're alive!" Dipper exclaimed in amazement. "But how?"

"Peanut brittle really _does_ have life-sustaining properties!" Mabel stated in wonder. "You're not silly, you're brilliant!"

"And so are you, dear girl, for following my clues and freeing me from my delicious tomb!" said Trembley, praising the young girl.

Patrick turned and kneeled down, before placing his hands-on Mabel. "He's right! Making maps into hats, hanging upside-down; Your silliness solved the code that serious cops couldn't crack in a hundred years!"

Mabel modestly waved him off. "Oh, stop it."

"By Jefferson!" exclaimed Trembley, before squinting his eyes. "We seem to be trapped in some sort of crate-shaped box."

"Yeah, it's called a crate," Patrick said, deadpanning.

"Good thing I have the President's Key, which can open any lock in America!" Trembley said, pulling out the very key. The three Pines watched as the ex-President walked over to the wall of the crate. Just when it looked like there was going to be hope for them, Trembley dashed it all always when he started repeatedly slamming the key at the side of the crate. As if expecting it to actually work against the wood.

"I... don't think that's gonna work," Dipper said.

"Wood! My age-old enemy." Trembley then turned to the kids. "In order to get out of here, this is going to take the silliest plan ever conceived."

"Well, I don't know about us, but I think I know who can help you," Patrick said, smiling at Mabel. Mabel got the memo and started to think about a way out.

"How 'bout... that hole?" Mabel pointed at a tiny hole that was near the corner of the crate.

"We will leap _through_ it!" Trembley proclaimed, before the two jumped at the hole. Patrick and Dipper could only watch as Mabel poked her finger through the hole and moving it around. Trying to push it through. "Almost. Almost there Good! Keep pushing."

"You…can't be serious about this." Patrick deadpanned.

"Trust... the silliness!" Mabel shouted.

"Fiddlesticks! Keep going!" Trembley encouraged. Meanwhile, outside the crate, a woodpecker had somehow managed to get into the train. Seeing Mabel's finger as she pulled it back in, the bird though it was a worm or a bug of some kind, and started pecking at the crate. Mabel and Trembley stopped trying to fit into the hole when the woodpecker's pecking made a tapping noise. "Is that my third wife? Sandy?"

Patrick face-palmed. Oh god, he's the one that made that a law.

The woodpecker stopped and flew away when the plank of wood with the hole fell off. Then suddenly and without warning, the whole box fell apart. "Well, we didn't fit through the hole," said Trembley. "Let's rebuild the box and try again!"

Dipper collected the secret documents and Patrick grabbed his crowbar. "We gotta get out of here!" The teenager said to the man with urgency. He and the twins then ran for the door.

"Also good!"

Trembley caught up to them as Patrick opened the door in the train. In the other car, Durland was happily getting some ice. He was just about to go to where he and Blubs were staying in, but then saw the four escapees and dropped the bucket of ice.

"Blubs!" He yelled, with the sheriff poking his head out from the room.

Dipper, Mabel, and Trembley looked with expressions of panic, as Patrick slammed the door shut. The four of them then turned and ran away. When they reached the other end of the car that they were held in, they gasped. There was no other train car behind theirs.

Patrick looked up and pointed to an emergency escape that opened in the ceiling.

Climbing up the ladder, Trembley pulled out his key and started pressing it against the door, even though there's no lock.

The other door opened by Blubs and Durland. Seeing them, Patrick quickly climbed the ladder and snatched the key from Trembley. "Give me that!" He then grabbed and turned the handle.

Opening the door, he was the first to rush out, with Mabel and Dipper coming after, then Trembley exited. All of them ran up the roof of the train. Followed by Blubs and Durland, who were in pursuit.

Patrick stopped and looked back to see Blubs getting ready to shoot at them with his knockout gun. So, he took off his sweater and ran towards them. As Blubs started shooting at him, Patrick used his sweater as a shield. Taking each knockout paint shot.

As he was close to them and Blubs ran out of paint, Patrick threw his sweater aside and swung the crowbar at the gun. Breaking it on impact. Blubs and Durland looked shocked at what he just did, before Patrick punched the black cop in the face. Knocking him back into his partner.

Patrick then turned and ran down the roof. He made it to where Mabel, Dipper, and Trembley were stopped at—the end of the car. Patrick was about to ask what they were doing, before seeing that the car in front of them was a log-carrying car.

They turned around to see Blubs and Durland running towards them, before stopping. "There…is…no…escape!" Blubs exclaimed with broken sunglasses, huffing and puffing after that chase. And also because he was really out of shape. The sheriff fell to one knee. "I gotta take a knee."

Durland went over and placed his hands on his partner's shoulders. "Are you okay? Can I get you anything," he asked gently.

"Edwin, darlin', you are a diamond in the rough," Blubs said with a smile.

At this point, Patrick was more than certain that they were gay. "Sheriff Blubs, do you really want to lock us all up in a government facility somewhere?" Dipper exclaimed to the cops, trying to reason with them.

"I've got no choice! Our orders come from the very top!" Blubs exclaimed.

Patrick took a moment to think. How were they going to get out of this? He could attack and knock them. But he was probably already in trouble with punching Blubs in the face. There orders came from the top of the government, so even if they escape, then they'll likely send someone worse. Like the FBI or CIA.

Then it hit him. That's it! "Wait!" Patrick yelled at the cops, before turning to Trembley. "Yo, President idiot, did you ever sign an official resignation?"

"No, sir," replied Trembley. "I ate a salamander and jumped out the window."

Patrick was a little weirded out by that. "Oh! Okay? But, technically you're still legally the President of the United States, right?" Patrick then turned to Blubs and Durland. "You've gotta answer to _this_ guy now!"

"Huh?" Blubs and Durland looked at each other in confusion.

Dipper, Mabel, and Patrick stepped aside to let Trembley make his orders. "As president of these several United States, I hereby order you to pretend none of this ever happened. And- and go on a delightful vacation. Ow!" He was suddenly hit in the back of the head by a passing metal rail. Trembley however, bounced back to his normal self. "Mmm yeeees!"

"Vacation?" Blubs liked the sound of that and turned to Durland. "What place have you always wanted to visit? One, two—"

"Silly Water Fun Slides in Grand Lakes, Michigan!" Blubs and Durland shouted with excitement and joy, before giggling.

* * *

A few moments later, after getting the train to stop, Patrick, the twins, and Trembley got off the train and were waving goodbye to Durland and Blubs. The two cops waved back to them from outside an open window, wearing Hawaiian shirts, as the train departed.

Once the train was long gone, Trembley got down on one knee and placed a hand on Mabel's shoulder. "You've done a great service to your country, Mabel. As thanks, I'd like to make you an official U.S. congressman," Trembley declared, pulling out and unfolding a black top-hat.

Mabel grinned with glee, as he placed the hat on her head. "I'm legalizing everything!" she exclaimed.

Trembley then turned to Dipper. "And Roderick…"

"Uh- actually- uh-"

Dipper was interrupted by the President. "You dear boy are on your way to unlocking the mysteries of this great land. So, I'd like you to have my President's Key!" He pulled out the key and gave it to him.

* * *

Later on, after a long walk, Patrick, Trembley, and the twins were finally walking back into Gravity Falls. Along the way, Trembley was telling a story that was actually kind of funny. "And then he chased me around and spanked me with a paddle for, like, three hours. Bottom line, George Washington was a _jerk_."

"A-greed!" Mabel said.

They all stopped, however, when they saw the one person that was their main reason for doing all of this. A few feet away, Pacifica and her friends were watching some girls run around a small maypole. One of the girls nearly tripped, but saved herself from falling to the ground.

Pacifica, however, wasn't having it. "Kick her off the team," she ordered her friends.

As her goons walked away to do as she said, Mabel, Dipper, and Patrick approached Pacifica. "Hey, Pacifica!" exclaimed Mabel, much to the blonde's annoyance. "I uncovered a government conspiracy about the eighth-and-a-half president of the United States! Who's silly now?"

However, Pacifica's attention was caught by something else. "What? Who is that idiot?" She pointed to Trembley, who had his fists up and was chasing after a bald eagle.

"Put up your dukes, you bald fiend!" He challenged it.

"The eighth-and-a-half president of America," Mabel told her. "How is he still alive? Well, turns out you can hibernate in peanut brittle and it—"

Pacifica stopped her by bursting out into laughter and placing a hand on Mabel's. "Wow! You really are a sad, dumb little girl. Nice top hat, by the way."

Her parents, Preston and Priscilla Northwest, laugh mockingly with her. "Good one, daughter," said the father.

"Ooh! I see your car is stuck in the mud," Pacifica said mockingly at the Pines kids. Patrick was really wanting to start hitting the girl with his crowbar. "Enjoy walking home!"

Then a sedan pulled up beside her parents. As they got in, Pacifica walked over to join them, ready to get out of the town and back to her perfect little life.

As she walked away, Dipper held up the documents and said to Mabel, "Aren't you gonna tell her about her _ate-gray ampa-gray_?"

"You know what, Dipper? I've got nothing to prove," Mabel said with a confident smile. "I've learned to see silly as awesome!" She ended it with putting back on her sweater.

Patrick looked impressed at her. "Wow, Mabel. That was the most mature thing I've ever heard you say," he said with an approving smile.

"Well, I haven't learned anything!" Dipper declared, before whistling to the Northwest sedan as it pasted by. "Hey, Pacifica!" He ran over to the car as it came to a stop. Pacifica then turned to her half open window as Dipper stopped and showed her the documents on the Northwest cover-up "Nathaniel Northwest didn't found Gravity Falls, and your whole family is a sham. Suck it!"

Dipper handed Pacifica the documents through the window. When she looked at the papers, the car started to drive away, as Pacifica looked out the back window, shocked. "What?! Moooom!"

Now he was back at Mabel and Patrick's side. "Man, revenge is underrated. That felt _awesome_!" Dipper said with a smile.

Trembley then came over to them and placed a hand on Patrick's shoulder. "Children, I am needed elsewhere. Just know that I'll always be right here..." the President pointed to Patrick's chest. He then opened his closed fist to reveal a bill. On the negative twelve-dollar bill," he finished and handed Patrick the bill.

Patrick examined the bill in amazement. "Whoa. This is worthless."

"It's _less_ than worthless, my boy. Trembley away!" And so, Trembley jumped backwards and landed perfectly onto a horse. This startled the horse, and Trembley rode the saddle backward. Riding away off and away from Gravity Falls.

"Where do you think he's going," Mabel asked.

Dipper replied, "I'm gonna say... off a cliff."

"I'd bet on that," Patrick said, not noticing that Veronica had walked up behind them.

She startled them by saying, "Well, it looks like you kids have been busy."

Joy filled Patrick's heart as he saw her. "Grandma!" He exclaimed and gave her a big hug. That's right, this was his grandmother and the cousin of Stan, Veronica Pines.

"Graunt Veronica!" the twins also cheerfully shouted as they tackled the elderly woman with hugs. Just like Stan, they used a special name for their great aunt, which they call their 'Graunt.'

Veronica laughed as she was hugged by her grandson, nephew and niece. "Oh hohoho! How are my favorite grandkids," she asked with a big smile, as the three pulled away from. She wanted to know everything about their summer so far. But then her phone started to ring, and she looked at it. Seeing who it was, she sighed sadly and turned to the children. "Why don't we talk about this at dinner. I've got to take this. You'll find Stan over there."

Patrick looked and saw where Stan was still in the stock and nodded. "Okay, grandma. Come on, let's go get Stan out of there," he told the twins and they ran over to help him out.

When they were far enough away, Veronica dashed away from the open area. She ran past some people with a determined scowl on her face. Veronica stopped and turned into an alleyway, where a white SUV was parked. She approached it and opened the sliding door. Inside was a single man and a lot of computers, radio systems, and radar.

"Okay, could someone please explain to me how the fuck Trembley is out and running about!?" She demanded, startling the man.

"I'm not sure, ma'am," the man said, trying to keep his nerves. "I called Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland and demanded to know the same thing. They said that those kids got out and Trembley told them to, uh, take a vacation."

Veronica wanted to face-palm in frustration. "He's been out of office for like a hundred years. He can't just give orders anymore!" She put her hands together and started taking in deep breaths. It was her fault. She did what she could to get the dumbest and most oblivious pair of idiots into the town's police force, and it's all come back to bite her. Again!

"I've just gotten word from the Northwest, also," said the man, as Veronica sat down and drank from a cup of coffee. "They want us to do something to cover-up the secret once it's published."

Veronica sighed. "Tell them to do it themselves. We're a special secret agency created to keep the forces of this town from reaching the eyes and ears of the world. Not their babysitters."

"And what about the kids?" The man pointed to a screen that showed them talking with Stan. Veronica looked sadly at it. It pained her to have to do this to this. To spy and monitor their every movement, but when Dipper and Patrick picked up the journal from the forest, she was called to Gravity Falls immediately. She loved her family, and didn't what them to get dragged into the violent world that was this town. "I understand that they're your grandkids, but they know the truth."

"Trembley is something the nation can handle outside of the town. As long as he jumps off a cliff. As for the kids…" She looked somberly at Patrick, Dipper, and Mabel. "Let them be…for now."

* * *

 **AN: And that wrapped up chapter 8 and now the plot thickens with the introduction of Patrick's grandmother, Veronica Pines.**

 **First off, I just like to give you all a big THANK YOU to everyone! "Weirder Things" has now reached into the 100s for Favorites, Followers, and Reviews. I'm so happy to get back to work on "Weirder Things" I'm sorry it took so long but I'm back at this series!**

 **Secondly, I'd like to apologize to everyone for being so late to update this story. I've been updating other stories. I've really been trying to get my** _ **Steven Universe**_ **story "Gem of War" more chapters and move it out of the show's boring beginnings and into more exciting timelines. And then I've been working on "Heroes of Tomorrow," as it's now become my second most popular story.**

 **So, I'm going to make it up to all of you by updating this story all the way up to Summerween.**

 **Thank you very much for reading. "Weirder Things " will return. Please be sure to Favorite and Follow if you like the story, and if you want me to keep writing this story, then please leave a REVIEW. I would really appreciate it if you do. If you any questions or discussions you'd have for me, then please PM me or write it out in the review.**

 **Thank you for reading, may God bless you, and if I'm not able to get the next chapter out by then, have a MERRY CHRISTMAS!**


	9. The Time Pig Paradox

**1jesus:** Thank you and I hope you had a wonderful New Years.

 **foxchick1:** Oh yes, she does. Many of them.

 **MAJORMATT1234:** Thanks. I'm glad you're enjoying it.

 **Chance Green G King:** Veronica is going to be playing a major role as the mystery progresses. More and more about her will be revealed. As for the Deep End, I'll think about it. As I found it a boring episode.

 **Vespasian25:** Thanks, and I will.

 **LoamyCoffee:** I can't wait for things to get really intense too.

 **Darkmaster10000000:** Alchemist from the Wild West? I LIKE IT!

 **Gamelover41592:** She's not really a bad guy, but more of a person who does bad things for the greater good.

 **trickster3696:** It's not going to be Robbie against Dipper, as there's no reason for Dipper to get into a fight with him. It'll be with Patrick, and trust me, it'll be very different from the show.

 **crawforddarius7:** Dude, I get it. You want me to do this request, but I'm not going to do it if it's constantly pushed onto me. I like **SOME** of the ideas, but you've got to know that I'll not going to do it if I can't get a chance to really think about how I'm going to do it, and if I _want_ to do it. Besides, I may play the _Witcher 3_ , but I'm still not that deep in the game to know everything about the lore. I know what Witchers are, but you can't really expect me to instantly start a new story, when I've still got SEVEN other stories to work on. I'm sorry if I sound angry, but this was something I've tried to hold in and not let my emotion get the better of me.

Thank you for the request and suggestion. I'll think about them, but please let me really think about it. Please actually review the stories I'm working on so that I can continue and finish them, and the then if I really _want_ to write a _Witcher_ / _RWBY_ crossover then I will. If not, then I won't.

 **gods-own:** Thanks.

 **coldblue2015:** Thanks for the review, and I get it. I was just a little worried.

 **RedHood001:** Yeah, the saber was more of a one-off thing. And Veronica is Stanly and Stanford's cousin. And I'll look into the comics.

 **Guest (Spartan 108):** I've been trying to figure that story out from a while. Heck, I've even considered _Ghost in the Shell_ crossover with _Rainbow Six_.

 **Guest (JJ):** Sorry, but that is a no. I'm actually going to be crossing over _HOTD_ with something else.

 **Guest (William):** What? No! We're not going there.

 **Guest (Guest 2):** That's a no.

 **Guest (Bobby Jenkins):** Dude, I'll think about it. No promises!

 **blazingpheonix123:** Thank you!

 **NullSilver2005:** Thank you and here's more.

 **Guest (Ill):** Thanks.

 **Reptil:** Thank you, and I'm pretty much done with Trembly.

* * *

Another day at Gravity Falls meant another day for Stan to scam the people of the town and any tourist that came by. This time, he was having a carnival/fair being constructed at the moment. While it was being constructed, people were working around the clock to get the thing up and running.

But it wasn't high-quality that's for sure.

Stan was standing beside Mabel and Dipper as he explained and hyped up the fair. "There she is, you two; the cheapest fair money can rent. I spared every expense," he said.

Suddenly there was a snapping sound that came from over their heads. This was followed by Patrick screaming from the same direction. About a second later, Patrick came crashing down onto the ground in a tram car, which broke it even further. While Dipper and Mabel were startled, Stan simply turned his head with a second delay. "I think the sky tram is broken," Patrick said with wide eyes. "Take me to the hospital."

But instead of taking it seriously, Stan chuckled. "Ha ha, this guy," he said, pointing at Patrick, as the young man crawled out of the car on his stomach. "Alright, alright. I've got a job for you three." Stan then pulled out a bunch of papers with the letter A+ and a gold and blue ribbon on them. "I printed up a bunch of fake safety inspection certificates. Go slap one on anything that looks like a lawsuit."

The old man handed the papers to Dipper, who passed some to Mabel and Patrick. "Grunkle Stan, I don't think that this is legal," said Dipper.

"Well, there's no cops around. That makes anything's legal! Soos, how's that dunk tank coming along?" Stan demanded after turning towards the handyman and started walking towards him.

Soos was using a blowtorch on the handle of a dunk tank when he heard Stan. This was going to the Dunkle the Grunkle. He said and lifted up his face mask. "Almost ready to go, Mr. Pines."

Deciding to test that claim, Stan knocked on the target that was attached to the lever. Just as he asked of Soos, it was rigged so that when it was hit by a ball, the seat would barely move. "Ha, you've got it rigged from here to Timbuktu!" Stan praised Soos. "There's nothing on Earth that could knock me down!"

"Yeah, except for like a futuristic laser arm cannon," Soos stated.

Stan groaned in annoyance. "Ah. Hey, you haven't seen my red screwdriver, have ya," he asked while feeling around his body. Stan then got down and opened the toolbox and started digging around in it. "Darn thing went missing."

"Maybe some magical creature or paranormal thing-um took it."

"Oi! You've been spending too much time with those kids." Stan rolled his eyes, before he kept on digging through toolbox. Mumbling to himself while Soos got back to work on the dunk tank. "Alright, let's see where'd I put that thing."

However, the screwdriver was actually taken by someone that was behind some of the portable toilets. The person was a heavyset, light-skinned, bald man wearing a gray and cream goggles and a light gray jacket, with simple white boots.

The bald man took out the screwdriver and began talking into his watch, which was also a communicator. "The mission is proceeding as planned. Over," he said, before using the tool on the watch. This caused the suit to suddenly change. Going to scenes of different locals, before stopping when it became transparent.

The bald man glanced back at Stan and to make sure no one saw him, before walking off. With only his head visible.

* * *

 **{Play** _ **Stranger Things**_ **theme by Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein}**

 **[0:00-0:03]**

 _At the beginning of the intro, there is nothing but blackness._

 **[0:03-0:08]**

 _Then about three seconds later, a bunch photographs started falling from above in slow motion._

 **[0:08-0:11]**

 _Getting a closer look at one of the photographs, while others twirled and spun in the background in slow motion, shows the town of Gravity Falls from a distance._

 **[0:11-0:14]**

 _Another picture shows the Mystery Shack during the night time, with bright lights shining thought the windows._

 **[0:14-0:16]**

 _One photo shows a thundering sky that had a large, flying creature's shadow being seen through the dark clouds. The camera then focuses on a picture behind the previous one, showing large claw marks on a tree trunk, as more photos were seen falling._

 **[0:16-0:19]**

 _Three photos are focused on now, one showing an angry Gnome, the second showing something that resembles the Long Ness Monster, and the third show a dinosaur tooth trapped in amber._

 **[0:19-0:25]**

 _The camera shows the cluster of photographs continuing to fall, before angling downwards to show all of them lying on a flat surface, collecting in a pile._

 **[0:25-0:40]**

 _The camera then gradually moves back to show more of the photos landing. After the last of the photos were on the surface, the camera moves upwards, displaying nothing but blackness again._

 **[0:40-45]**

 _Then the title of the story appeared in a flash of light._

 _ **WEIRDER THINGS**_

 **[0:45-end]**

 _It then disappeared, before the chapter title appeared._

 **Chapter Nine**

 **The Time Pig Paradox**

* * *

"It's 12 o'clock!" Stan shouted into the megaphone. "The Dunk Tank is now open!" The tourist covered their ears when the megaphone screeches. The fair was finally open, and everyone in town was at the 'Mystery Fair.' It had it all from classic games like ball toss and balloon burst, to rides such as the ferris wheel and a tunnel of love.

Stan was sitting inside of the dunk tank, ready for his scam of amusement. "Step right up, and dunk me folks!" he said to tourist, before pointing to a bald tourist eating a pretzel. "I'm talking to you, Cut-offs! That's right! Muffin-Top, High-Pants! Who wants a piece of me?" As he continued insulting all the people, they started to gather in front of the dunk tank. Angry and wanting a piece Stan.

They all threw their baseball balls at the dunk tank. Most were aimed directly at Stan, but they all bounced off the safety glass. Some went for the target. But in the end, all efforts to knock down Stan failed.

"Ahahahaha! Come back anytime, folks! Ahahahaha!"

While that was going on, Patrick was having his own fun with his redhead crush, Wendy. The two of them were buying some corn dog shaped like a question mark, before turning to each other.

"How do they even do this," he asked Wendy about the corn dog. Goofing around with her by holding up the dog over his head to make it look like he was having a question mark over his head. "It's unnatural."

"But Patrick, they're so..." Wendy played along and held up her corn dog to the end of the sign that said "DELICIOUS" "…delicious?" She asked with a shrug. The two friends laughed with each other. However, Wendy stopped laughing when mustard dripped onto her sleeve. "Aw, boo! I'll be right back," she told Patrick before turning and leaving.

"Yeah, sure! I'll be right here! Haha!" Patrick chuckled before a moment, before he sighed happily and whispered, "What a woman."

"Look at you two!" said Mabel, as she and Dipper walked over to him with cotton candy sticks. "Getting all romantic at the fair!"

Patrick tried to play it cool and leaned against the corn dog truck. "Eh, it's no big deal."

"Liar," Dipper said with a smirk.

"Okay, you're right, it is!" Patrick finally admitted with a big smile. "Isn't this amazing? I just dove in! I said, 'Hey! You wanna hang out at the fair?' And you know what she said?"

 _A few moments ago, as they were in the shop. Patrick had asked Wendy if she wanted to hang out at the fair. It wouldn't be like a date. Just two friends having fun. "Yeah, I guess so," she said._

"'Yeah, I guess so!'" Patrick repeated what she said. "It totally worked! All your advice about just going for it, it's finally paying off, Mabel!"

"When are you gonna learn, Patrick?" Mabel shook her head as she bragged. "I'm always right about everything!"

Dipper gave her a look. "No, you're not," he commented before looking back up at Patrick. "So, are going to finally ask her out?"

After a pause, Patrick blushed and scratched the back of his head. He was really hoping that this fair would provide the moment he was looking forward to asking Wendy out. "Well, I…" Patrick stopped when something foul smelling hit his nose. "Oh God! Who poured a gallon of body spray on themselves?"

That answer came in the form of none other than Robbie approaching them. "Hey, have either of you dorks seen Wendy around," he inquired with his hands in his pockets, looking around for the redhead.

When Dipper saw the teenager, he took a step forward to be at his cousin's side. "Who wants to know," he demanded with a glare.

Robbie paid no attention to him and took some of Mabel's cotton candy. "Hey!" She snapped, hold her treat away from the emo.

"Yeah, I got some new super tight jeans," Robbie said, not caring about how much of a jerk he was being and ate the piece he grabbed. He then showed off his jean before placing a foot on a box that was randomly there. "Thought she might want to check 'em out." He started to thrust out his pelvis.

Patrick made a disgusted face at the jean, and covered Mabel's eyes. Robbie was desperate, and Mabel was too young to see just how _tight_ the pants were. "Robbie, no one in their right mind would ever want to see that," he told him with a scowl. He then smirked in defiance. "But if you really must know, she's in the Bottomless Pit. Why don't you do yourself a favor, and go jump in there."

Robbie glared at him with narrowed eyes. "Maybe I will, smart guy," he proclaimed, before bumping into Patrick's should on his way away.

"He is such a jerk," Mabel said, after Patrick uncovered her eyes to rub his shoulder.

"Yeah, but he's a jerk with tight pants and a guitar," Patrick said. "If I'm going to ask out Wendy, I need to keep him away from Wendy at all costs.

"Well, never fear, cousin. For we'll be there for you," Dipper said, standing alongside Mabel. "Whatever happens, we'll be right here, supporting you every step of the—"

"OH MY GOSH, A PIG!" Mabel suddenly shouted, pointed, startling Dipper and Patrick. They looked at what she was pointing at and saw it was a sign that said "Win a Pig". And so, Mabel took off. Running frantically and bumps several people on her way to where the sign was pointing to.

Dipper sighed in annoyance. There goes their plan to help Patrick. "I better go after her," he told Patrick and ran after Mabel.

As for Mabel, she ran at full speed towards the Win a Pig, with the man there yelling, "If'n you can guess the critter's weight, you can take the critter home!"

Mabel reached the wooden railing and around at the pigs. Most of them were large and dirty with mud. But then, she laid her eyes on one, special looking pig. It was sitting on its butt looking at her.

Mabel stared at it with wide, wondrous eyes. The pig oinked that her, which to her sounded like it was saying her name. This made Mabel gasp. "He said 'Mabel'!" she exclaimed, pointing at the pig. "Either that or 'doorbell.' Did you say 'Mabel' or 'doorbell'?"

The pig oinked 'Mabel' again.

"Ooooooooooohhhhh!"

Mabel's happy moment however was ruined by the voice of a certain blonde. "Step aside Mabel," said Pacifica, as she stood beside her friends and pushed Mabel aside. "I was here first, and that pig is mine."

Hearing that, Mabel glared at her and whispered spitefully. "Pacifica!"

"Aw~. What's the matter," Pacifica said mockingly with her hands on her cheeks. "Is it your real twin?" That her goons to laugh with her.

Dipper stood behind her and got her to turn around when he glared and said, "I'm standing right here, you know."

"Oops. My mistake. But then again, the pig when have made a better brother." Pacifica's mocking created laughing again.

Dipper glared at her and clenched his fist tightly. Mad and wanting to take her down a peg, Dipper looked around to see if there was any game that he could beat Pacifica in. He had no arm muscle, so anything with throwing was out. But then his eyes caught something.

A simple and yet seemingly damaged and worn out mechanical bull. He grinned at the sight of it and turned to smirk smugly at Pacifica. "Well, if you're so certain that I'm not good enough to be Mabel's brother, then why don't you put your money where your mouth is!"

Pacifica stopped laughing turned her head to stare at Dipper with narrowed eyes. "And what does that mean?"

"A little competition. Whoever lasts the longest on that bull ride wins," he said, pointing to the ride. Dipper then pointed to himself. "If I win, you have to leave."

Pacifica scowled at him for a moment, before smirk. "And I win, you're licking the mud off my boots."

"Deal!" They shook hands and the two matched over to the bull ride, with Pacifica's goons following close behind.

With Pacifica out of the way, Mabel turned to Sprott and pointed to the pig she wanted. "Sir, I must have that pig!" She demanded.

Sprott looked at the pig and smiled. "Ah, old 15-Poundy! So, how much you guessin' he weighs," he asked, points his cane at her.

Mabel looked away for a moment, wondering if he even knew that he gave away the answer. "Um, 15 pounds?"

Apparently not, as Sprott looked at her with wide, frightened eyes. "Are you some kind of witch? Well, here's your pig," he said, picking up 15-Poundy and handing him to Mabel. The pig oinked, and Mabel felt happier than she's ever felt, with a crowd of people around her clapping for her. Then the mood was ruined when Sprott attempted to get Mabel a fork and knife. "And you'll be needin' these."

Mabel glared at him.

"Nope? Well, suit yourself!"

Turning back to her new pig, Mabel hugged 15-Poundy as tight as she could. She then placed in down, and had an expression of realization. "Everything is different now."

* * *

Over with Dipper, Pacifica had him go first after saying that she'll give him the chance to feel like he could win. Dipper's anger increased, by wasn't going to let Pacifica get to him, while being determined to beat her. So, he climbed onto the bull. "Okay, I'm ready," he told the operator.

The operator nodded and pulled the lever to start the ride. But nothing happened. Confused, he pushed the lever forward and then pulled it back again. And he did this repeatedly. Suddenly the bull pulled back, nearly Dipper off it. It the yanked itself forward, and Dipper was sent flying forward. He screamed as he rocketed right towards Pacifica, who was just as shocked to see him coming right at her.

With a thud, Dipper crashed Pacifica and knocked her to the ground. A crowd gathered around but gasped at what they saw.

Dipper was on top of Pacifica, and their lips were locked!

A long pause was shared between the two, as they stared into each other's eyes. Dipper pulled away and slowly got off. Pacifica sat up, and the two faced each other again. Dipper then had an expression of panic and dread. "That was an accident."

Pacifica's face changed to an expression of total fury, as she bared her teeth and growled menacingly.

"Every is different now," Dipper squealed with fear. Pacifica grabbed him by the collar.

* * *

Away from Dipper's screams of pain, Patrick and Wendy were walking in the opposite direction of the sound. After both of his cousins ditched him for their own things, the boonie hat wearer met back up with the redhead, and the two continued their adventures around the fair. He smiled and took a few glances at Wendy, before they both stopped when she pointed at something. "Whoa, check it out!"

She was pointing to the ball tossing game, and the prizes that it had; some mix of a duck or a platypus and a panda.

"I don't know if it's a duck or a panda, but I want one!" She said as they approached the game. Patrick couldn't help but grin. This was prefect. He had himself a good throwing arm, so all he'll need to do is win her the plush toy, and that'll give him the moment to ask her on a date. It was genius!

What could go wrong, he asked himself. Patrick turned to Wendy and said, "You want to know a secret to win these games. You aim for the carnie's head, and take the prize when he's unconscious."

"Ha ha ha! Nice!" Wendy chuckle, giving him a playful punch in the arm.

Patrick reached into his pocket and pulled out a ticket. "One ball, please," he said, handing the carnie the ticket.

"You only get one chance," the carnie told him and handed him the ball.

Patrick turned his head to Wendy. Wendy grinned and gave him a thumbs up. Patrick nodded and turned back to the stacked bottles. This was it. Patrick was going to win this. "And a-one and a-two and a-three!" and He threw the ball.

It was a direct hit. Knocking down all the cans.

"Yes!" Patrick shouted, throwing his fist up.

Suddenly and without warning, the ball hit the back of the stand and bounced off it. It came right back and then hit Wendy in the eye. "AAAAHH! MY EYE!" She yelled out in agony and held it.

"Oh my God! Oh my God!" Patrick exclaimed in a state of panic. How could that have happened? All that was supposed to happen was that he'd knock over the balls. "Wendy, I'm so sorry! Are you okay? Let me see." He gently grabbed her arms and moved them away from her eye. Only to flinch at the sight of her eye turning black.

"Does it look swollen," Wendy asked, but just the look on his face told her everything.

"Everything's gonna be fine! Don't worry!" Patrick looked around frantically to see just what he could do. "I'll-I'll go get some ice!" Patrick turned and ran to the Shack.

As he reached the Mystery Shack, Patrick ran to the ice box. He threw open the door of the box, making it bang against the wall, before the young man reached in and pulled out a bag of ice. He didn't have time to go into the Shack and search everywhere for a normal ice pouch. So, he was just going to have to do with a whole bag of ice.

With the ice bag, Patrick placed it on his shoulder and held onto it with his right hand. He then turned and ran back into the fair. "Where is she, where is she?" Patrick's eyes looked around for where Wendy was. Desperate to get back to her and make things up. He saw that she was still at the ball toss game, right before he ran into a man. The bag spilled out the ice as Patrick fell on his butt. Seeing the ice all over the place, Patrick quickly tried to scrape as much as he could into the bag. He then glared at the man he ran into. "Hey, watch where you're going, man!"

That man was the same bald man that stole Stan's screwdriver. He didn't respond, and only grabbed a tape measurer and then ran off.

After Patrick finished scraping some of the ice into the bag. He got up and started heading towards Wendy. However, there was a hole in the bag, and the content inside was beginning to spill. However, Patrick stopped and his eyes widened when he saw Robbie with Wendy, placing a grape flavor snow cone to her eye.

"Just ease your eyeball into that freezy cone," the emo said to her.

"Robbie, thanks," Wendy said in relief, as Robbie held the snow cone in place. "That's really sweet. The gesture, and the flavored syrup."

"Yeah, I was just here at the right place at the right time."

Patrick gulped. Praying that Robbie wasn't going to do what Patrick knew he was going to do.

"Y'know, I've been meaning to ask you... we've known each other for a long time now and I was wondering if, maybe, you want to go out with me?"

Patrick was now squeezing the bag into his chest, now praying that she says no.

Wendy only thought for a second, before giving him her answer; "Yeah, I guess so."

To know just how heartbroken and devastated Patrick felt, one just had to look behind him to see a balloon shaped like a heart is popped by a dart at the balloon burst game. Patrick's teenage heart felt like it was destroyed the moment Wendy accepted Robbie's request. The young man fell to his knees and dropped the ice bag.

While staying where he was, Mabel came up to Patrick with Waddles in her arms. "Look, Patrick! I won my pet pig! His name is Waddles. I call 'im that because he waddles!" She said, not even noticing that Patrick looked like he just had his heart broken. Mabel then shook Waddles. "Waaaaaaaa-dddllleeessss!"

Dipper then came over with a face that was battered and bruised. With an expression of horror, he tried to speak, but all that came out was gibberish.

"Everything is different now," Patrick said after finding the will to speak.

"What are you lookin' at," Mabel asked, so Patrick pointed.

Dipper and Mabel turned their heads to see Robbie and Wendy hold hands and run to the over to the Tunnel of Love and Corn-dogs. The new couple stepped up and got into one of the corn-dog cars, before the ride took them into the tunnel.

Just see that provided them more than all the information they needed. "Oh…"

* * *

A few hours later, and the sun was starting to go down, as night fell. To keep the fair going into the night, the lights on the games and ferris wheel were turned on.

However, despite beautiful it all was, Patrick still wasn't out of his depression. Laying down on the Slopey Toss 2 skee-ball, Patrick stared up at the sky while surrounded by a mess of chicken wing that he ate, leaving only the bones litter all over the place. There were also the Styrofoam boxes that they came in and even empty paper cups that were used for the dipping sauce. His mouth covered with the flavored sauce and the BBQ of the wings.

Even with all the wings he's eaten, Patrick still wasn't feeling better. Not only did he lose Wendy to Robbie, but worse, it happened because he hurt her. He didn't ever want to do that to her. Just replaying that image in his head, when Wendy was hit right in the eye and then when she looked at him in pain. It all made him more miserable, and he was starting to fall back down to the same level of depression that he was in after killing his clone Maverick.

"Uh, are you gonna move?" asked a large man, was wanting to play the skee-ball game.

Patrick didn't even look at him, but did comply in a way. He rolled over and fell off the Slopey Toss 2, landing on some wing bones and even getting his head stuck in a Styrofoam tub.

The man was about to play, only to see that the game was covered with some of the sauces. "Aw..." Disappointed, he turned and left.

A few feet away, Dipper was trying to brush his teeth, after all other attempts to get the taste of Pacifica's kill out of his mouth. He stopped and tasted around his mouth. "Ugh! What expensive lip boom did she use!" He exclaimed in frustration, before giving up and throwing down the spent tube of toothpaste and brush. He then went over to the skee-ball game and sat down on it was a pout.

Mabel then came into the picture. Holding up Waddles, who is dressed as a doctor, and having him near Patrick's head. "Paging Dr. Waddles, we got a boy here with a broken heart. Haha!"

"Go away," Patrick moaned with his head still in the bucket.

"Come on, man. These are the jokes," Mabel told him, seeing he's not even chuckling at her usual playing around.

He sighed. "Guys, do you ever wish you could go back and undo just one mistake?"

"Nope! I do everything right, all the time!"

"I refuse to believe that," Dipper said like it was second natural.

"Guys, this is serious," Patrick said, sitting up and taking the bucket off his head. "I hurt the one girl I actually like and now she's going out with that jerk! I can't believe I did that!"

"And not to mention she's going out with Robbie of all people," Dipper said, as Mabel played with Waddles.

"Wendy only went out with Robbie because he was there with the ice, and she needed the ice because of the baseball, and I would've had the ice if it wasn't for..." He stopped and gasped when he saw the one person responsible for him dropping the ice. The bold man from before had his back turned towards them as he worked on something.

"YOU!" Patrick stood up and pointed at the man. It was enough to startle the man, as Patrick started walking towards him. "Hey, you! Toolbelt! You ruined my life!"

"Huh?" The bald man looked at him in great confusion.

Dipper squinted at the man as he, Mabel, and Waddle approached. "Hey, I've seen you before! What's your deal? Are you following us around?" He demanded with a glare.

"And why are you bald? What's that all about," Mabel asked.

"Shut up, Mabel," said Patrick.

"AAAAAGH! My position has been COMPROMISED!" The man said in a voice that very distinctive. Like something from a cartoon. "Assuming stealth mode!" He pressed the buttons on his watch and tried to make his suit change and make him disappear. However, all it did was seem to malfunction and started changing to different backgrounds. "Color match! Initiating color match! Come on, dang it!" Frustrated, the man took out the screwdriver and tried to fix it. Almost forgetting that the three kids were still in front of him.

"That's amazing!" Dipper exclaimed.

"Are you from the future or something," Mabel asked with amazement.

Now the man was starting to panic. "Uh, NO! Who told you that?! MEMORY WIPE! The bald man then threw a wipe at Mabel. Hitting her in the face.

Mabel took the wipe off and looked at it. "This is a _baby_ wipe," she told him.

Sitting down on some hay that was behind him, the man sighed exasperatedly. "All right, you've cornered me. I'm... a time traveler."

"Oh, that's the biggest load of…wait a minute." Patrick changed his major feelings of doubt towards the revelation with curiosity. "If you're from the future, do you have like a time machine, or something?"

"That's... kinda how it works," the bald man said. Then Patrick's attention was directed to the ferris wheel behind him. Immediately caught by Robbie and Wendy riding on it. They looked at each other happily, with the emo's arm around her shoulder.

Patrick looked at the bald man with a grin. "Can I borrow it?"

"Absolutely…NOT!" the bald man shot up onto his feet.

"Oh, come on! Please? Just once? I'll take good care of it."

"No! Out of the question!" The man then pulled out a tape measure with an hourglass symbol on its side to show them. Point at it as he explained. "You know, this is sensitive, extremely complicated time equipment," he said, pulling out the tape a little.

"It looks like a tape measure," Dipper pointed out.

"You shut your time-mouth!"

Patrick an eyebrow. "What?"

"This making any sense to you," Dipper asked his family.

"I think he's just crazy," whispered Mabel.

"Oh! You don't believe me?" The bald man pulled the tape and then released it. Then disappeared in a flash of blue light. The Pines kids looked at each other with eye widened. In half a second the man returned in another flash of light, this time wearing some old-fashioned clothing from the Renaissance. "Guess where I was!"

"Whoa!" the three kids said.

"That's right! 15 years ago, there was a costume shop right here! One second." He pulled the tape again and disappeared. Then reappeared in his normal suit, however it had some small flames on it. When he realized this, the man started patting out the fires. "Ah! Aw, heck! Pat! Pat down!"

"Wait, who are you again," Patrick asked.

The man pulled out his ID card. "Blendin Blandin, Time Anomaly Removal Crew year twenty sñeventy-twelve. My mission is to stop a series of time anomalies that are supposed to happen at this very location! But-but I don't see any anomalies! I don't know if it's some kind of paradox, or I'm just really tired…" Blendin sat down on the hay.

Patrick saw his chance to fix things with Wendy and wasn't going to let it slip away. "You know, you sound like you could use a break," he said, going over and placing a hand on his shoulder. "I mean, look at yourself Blender."

"Blendin."

"Whatever. The point is, you've been working hard, my friend. Taking care of your time mission, but you haven't been taking the time to care of _yourself_." Patrick then further enticed him by pulling out two tickets. "Might I recommend one of the various attractions at the Mystery Fair?"

The first part of the plan worked, and Blendin stood up. "You know what? What the hell! I'm worth it!" He grabbed the tickets from Patrick, who smile, before starting to leave. "But I've got my eye on you!"

While they watched the time traveler walked, Dipper asked Patrick, "Are you sure this is the right thing to do?"

"Do you want to undo your kiss," Patrick asked. That definitely got Dipper's attention.

Blendin approached Soos and one of the cheapest rides at the fair, the Rusty Barrel Rodeo. Consisting of several old, rusty barrels attached to a spinning platform, with a stack of barrels in the middle serving as the only 'decoration' on the ride. "One please."

Soos looked at Blendin's belt and saw the time machine. "Uh, sorry dude, but you're gonna have to take your belt off for the ride," he said, pointing to it. "One of your tools might fly off and accidentally fix something."

Blendin complied by taking off the belt, before giving it to him. "Guard it with your life," he said with absolute seriousness.

"I will watch it like a hawk, dude," Soos said when he grabbed the belt. Blendin then went on the platform before fitting himself into one of the barrels. Soos then started ride and sets the belt on the barrel at his side.

As Soos wasn't paying attention and Blendin was having a good time on it, Patrick snuck up, reached over, and took the belt.

"Like a hawk!"

* * *

After getting away with the time machine, Patrick, Dipper, Mabel and Waddles retreated to the Shack. Once inside, they all were sitting at the poker table, looking down at the time machine on the table.

"Here it is, you two. Our ticket to any moment in history," Patrick said. "The past, future, all at our fingertip."

Mabel grin. "Let's go get two dodos and force them to make out!"

"What? No! We gotta be smart about this. Altering the past could have disastrous on our timeline. That's why all I'm gonna do is go back and fix my one mistake. I won't hit Wendy in the eye, Robbie won't comfort her, and they won't start going out."

"And I'm going to beat Pacifica at that mechanical bull, put her in her place, and avoid kissing her," Dipper said.

"I'm coming, too!" Mabel said. "I wanna relive the greatest moment in my life: winning Waddles." She then kissed and petted her pig.

Patrick nodded and grabbed the time measure. He pulled back the tape and set it to 6 hours in the past. "Okay, you two. Grab on," he instructed the twins, and they complied, grabbing onto his arms. Patrick then pointed to Waddles. "See you later."

"See you earlier! Ha yuk yuk yuk!" Mabel joked before making that weird laugh.

Patrick the set the measure to go backwards in time, before releasing the tape. This made the three of them freeze, before everything went white.

They then disappeared.

When they reappeared, they were still in the Shack at the poker table. However, Patrick saw that his hat was on fire, and quickly patted it out. "Ah! Ha! Ha!"

They then smiled at each other and run over to the door with the time machine. Dipper grabbed the door and opened it.

"It's 12 o'clock! The dunk tank is now open! Step right up and dunk me folks! I'm talking to you, Cut-offs!"

It watched! They were back 6 hours in the past. "Do-over," Patrick asked the twins.

"Do-over!" The twins exclaimed, and all of them ran off to do their own things.

Dipper and Mabel ran together towards the Win a Pig, where Pacifica was. When he got to her, Dipper called out, "Pacifica, I challenge you with who can stay on that mechanical bull."

Pacifica really didn't know why he wanted to challenge her, but she wasn't complaining to win against the brother of her nemesis. "Fine, you're on."

As the two and walked off, Mabel ran over to Sprott. "If'n you can gue—"

"15 POUNDS!" Mabel exclaimed, having already grabbed Waddles. She then walked off, but then came back. "And yes, I am a witch!" Now she walked off for real.

"Well, time to round up a mob," said Sprott, picking up and lighting a torch.

* * *

Meanwhile Dipper climbed onto the mechanical bull. This time he was already and wasn't going to fall off it. He grabbed onto the handle on the saddle and pushed his legs into its body.

The operator started the bull, and just like before, the bull malfunctioned. It yanked back, then yanked forward, but Dipper wasn't thrown off. The ride then started working properly, going at a normal pace and movements. "This isn't so bad," Dipper said, but then the ride shuck around, violently.

Then suddenly, just like in the beginning, he was thrown forward. Crashing into Pacifica.

And just like before, Dipper was on top of Pacifica, accidentally locked to the lips.

"What!?" Dipper exclaimed, quickly getting off. He looked at his hands for a moment. It was just like the last time. "That's so weird..."

Then some growling noise made him nervously turn his head to see Pacifica glaring hatefully at him.

"Oh no," he said, before being grabbed by the shirt.

* * *

"Hey Wendy," said Patrick as he ran up to Wendy's side, and started walking with her.

"There you are. Hey, what happened to your hat," she asked.

Patrick took it off for a moment to look at it. "Uh, nothing," he quickly said, before seeing the ball toss carnival stand and pointed at it. "Hey, look! What's that?"

"Whoa! Check it out!" Wendy said, looking up at the strange plush toy. "I don't know if it's a duck or a panda, but I want one."

That's it. If he's unable to hit the bottles, then the baseball wouldn't bounce off the back, and Wendy wouldn't get hurt. "One ball, please," he said to the carnie, giving him the ticket.

"You only get one chance," the carnie told him and handed him the ball.

"That's what you think..." Patrick murmured to himself and took the ball. Patrick turned his head to Wendy, who grinned and gave him a thumbs up. "One panda-duck, comin' right up!" And so, he got ready to throw. This was his second chance. All he had to do was hit the table the bottles were on, and nothing would happen. He couldn't mess this up.

Patrick threw the ball and said out loud, "Bad throw!"

Just as he hoped, the ball missed and hit the table, only for it to bounces back, and hits Wendy in the eye. "AH! MY EYE!"

"What?!" Patrick exclaimed out loud, shock and horrified. "No, no, no!" Just like the last time, he reached over and moved her hands from her eyes. Just like before, it was black.

"Does it look swollen?"

Patrick didn't answer and turned away, before looking at his own hands. "What's going on? It should have worked!"

"Oh, hey Robbie." Patrick heard Wendy say that, he quickly turned around to see Robbie right there, placing the same snow cone to her damaged eye.

"So anyway, we've been hanging out a lot and I've been wondering if, maybe, you would want to go out with me," Robbie asked that one faithful question.

"Yeah, I guess so," Wendy said, making Patrick's eye twitch. This could not be happening.

* * *

Patrick gathered Dipper and Mabel together, each having gone through their redone with the exact same outcomes. Dipper looked like he's beaten to a pulp, and Mabel was feeding Waddles a caramel apple. Patrick on the other hand watched Robbie and Wendy as they stepped onto the same tunnel of love with a frown. "This doesn't make any sense," he said to the twins.

"I know, right," Dipper said, also puzzled, placing a hand on a bump on his head Pacifica gave him. "The exact same thing happened twice; it was spooky."

"Oo, maybe it's a time-curse," Mabel said, sitting on the base of one of those classic Test-Your-Strength games.

"You mean a time paradox," Patrick said with a raised brow. However, that got him thinking. That time traveler said something about a time anomaly going on and seemed really scared at the thought of a paradox. Then a new thought entered his head. It was far-fetched, and even seemed like something out of science fiction, but it's the only other explanation. "Here's a scary thought, but what if the forces of time are naturally correcting itself? Preventing us from making any other outcome."

Dipper thought for a moment. "It's a possibility. No, we just need to try again. Third time's the charm," he exclaimed, as Mabel stood up to go back in time with them.

"How hard could it be," she asked with a big grin. Patrick nodded and pulled the tape on the time machine. Dipper and Mabel placed their hands on him, before he released the tape. The three of them disappeared, right before an angry mob with torches walked around where they once were. Lead by Scotts, they all were looking for Mabel, who they really believed to be a witch.

* * *

And for about three more re-does, the three Pines children have been redoing the exact same thing. And each time they did, it would all have the same results.

Third redo, with Dipper:

Instead of having himself go first, Dipper gestured for Pacifica to go with a confident smirk. She looked at him with a raised eyebrow, but if he really insisted, then who was she to deny him. Pacifica walked up to the mechanical bull and hopped onto it, while Dipper made sure to stand away from where. So that he didn't get hit when she was thrown off the bull. He watched as the bull started and nearly threw her off, and Dipper was just waiting for the blonde to be thrown off. Then the bull suddenly and without warning turned towards him, and then bucked Pacifica off its back at him. The two crashed into each other and kiss. Pacifica got off and looked pissed off at him. "Hey, you kissed me!" Dipper exclaimed, before getting beat up. "Ow! OW!"

Fourth redo, with Mabel:

While her twin and cousin were having absolutely no luck with their goals, Mabel continued to have the time of her life with Waddle. On this redo, she and the pig shared a pizza, eating it together until their cheeks touched.

Fifth redo, with Patrick:

At this point, Patrick was getting nervous. On the third redo, he threw with his left hand, knocking over the bottles, but just like the first time, the ball bounced off the back of the stand, and hit Wendy. The fourth redo, Patrick had Wendy stand on his other side. This time when he threw the ball, it knocked over the bottles, but bounced off the table, bounced off one of the plushies, hit the carnie and bounced off his face, then slammed into Wendy's face. And each time he did, Robbie was right there, stepping in to comfort her and ask her out.

This time, when Patrick got the ball and Wendy gave him the thumbs up, he hesitated. "Wendy, how badly do you want that stuffed animal thing," he asked the ginger.

"More than anything in the world, Patrick," she said to him in a serious tone.

Patrick sighed in defeat. "Okay..." He threw the ball. It missed and bounced off the table. Going upwards, the baseball hits a bag of extra balls that was hanging above. Wendy screamed in pain when the bag broke open and the balls spilled onto her. Not only hitting her in the eye, but all over her body. Patrick was shocked and was about to help, but the Robbie appeared out of nowhere and helped her up. He looked Patrick with disapproval and shakes his head. Patrick frowned and banged his head on the table.

* * *

"That's it! I give up!" Patrick exclaimed, as he, Mabel and Dipper were waiting near a popcorn machine, which Dipper was writing out an equation on. This was their sixth redo and he and Dipper have done everything to prevent their unfortunate event from occurring. And every time they did, it all came back to the same results.

Dipper looked at him in disbelief, with a face that was more bruised up than before. "What?! But…I'm close," he pleaded, gesturing to his equation.

Mabel was knitting a sweater before looking at her brother. "Face it, Dipper, you and Patrick are obviously fated to have a bad day at the fair, just like I'm fated to be with Waddles," she said, showing them her sweater that was reddish with Waddles on it.

"Besides, why can't you just, I don't know, not challenge Pacifica," Patrick suggest in a tone that said it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"There's one variable missing..." Dipper said, drawing an equal sign at the end of his equation.

"What's a variable," Mabel asked, popping up from behind the popcorn machine.

The place that she popped her head up behind the glass made her right beside the equal sign. It was then that Dipper got an idea. "That's it! I've figured out how I can prevent Pacifica from kissing me! I just have to not challenge her!"

Patrick frown at him. "You're a real genius, Dipper," he said with sarcasm.

"Oh, it's not just that, Patrick. I've also got a plan that'll help you win the toss, not hit Wendy, and stop Wendy and Robbie from going out!"

Patrick's eyes widened in surprise. He only had one thing to say to that; "I'm in."

"Awesome! I'm gonna go win my pig again," Mabel told them, before turning and was about to walk off towards Win a Pig.

Dipper however stopped her, by running over and grabbing Mabel by the arm. "Whoa whoa whoa, you can't leave, I need you for this plan to work!"

"But what about Waddles," Mabel asked.

"It'll just take a few minutes, let's go!" He grabbed her by the arm again and pulled her away, with Patrick running to catch up.

* * *

Once again, Patrick was with Wendy at the bottle toss game. He looked at the ball in his hands and then turned his head towards Dipper. His cousin was standing a few feet away from him. Dipper was waiting for the right moment for Patrick to make the shot. He licked his finger and held it up, feeling and measuring the wind. He then looked at the plush toys, then towards the roof of one of the tents, looking at the little flag at the top. Dipper then turned to Patrick and nodded.

"Are you gonna go, man," Wendy asked Patrick, bringing him back to reality.

Patrick smiled and nodded. It was time to set everything right, so he got ready to throw. "And a-one and a-two and a-uh!" He threw the ball, but not at the bottles. But straight up.

"Ah! Dude! You missed!" Wendy said, watching as the ball continued flying up, before turning her head to Patrick. However, she was confused by his cool and unworried look.

"Did I," Patrick asked and pointed up to the ball.

The ball was now starting to come back down, touching to top of the tent before rolling down it and then being flown up into the air again. It was sent flying and hitting a question mark made of wieners. This redirected the baseball towards the Mystery Shack. It hit the roof and then rolled down to a pipe which Mabel, who was on the roof, lifted up. By lifting up the pipe, she made a ramp for the ball, and it flew off again.

In the air, it goes for the target of the dunk tank, much to Stan and the other people's shock. The tourist all gasp as they watched the ball fly, only to be disappointed when it hit the target and bounced off, doing nothing.

The ball continued to fly, and was actually beginning to return to Patrick and Wendy. but before it could get there, it knocked a slice of pizza out of a man's hand, and then knocked off Robbie's snow cone.

Patrick and Wendy quickly ducked out of the way as the ball flew between them. Knocking down all the cans, bouncing off the back of the stand, and then breaking through the top of the tent.

The two teenagers stood up, with the ginger looking at what had just happened with a look of amazement. Her mood brightened even more when the carnie grabbed one of the plush animals and brought it to her. "Your stuffed creature of indeterminate species, miss."

"Oh, awesome!" Wendy grabbed the stuffed animal and squeezed it with a hug. She then turned to Patrick with a bright grin. "Thanks, Pat." Despite her using that nickname for him, Patrick smiled and took off his. Holding it out, his boonie hat caught the ball as it fell into it.

Then Robbie walked over to them. "There you are, Wendy!"

"Hi, Robbie."

"So I was wondering if I.. you a..."

However, without out Wendy being hit in the eye, Robbie couldn't work up the courage to ask her out. And without that black eye, her full attention wasn't towards him, but to the stuffed panda/duck. "Look what Dipper got for me!"

Robbie looked at it, before seeing Patrick lean out from behind Wendy with a grin. "Pfft. Whatever." The moody teenager got…moody and pulled his hood over his head. "Can't even tell what species it is. Stupid." He then pulled the strings and the hoodie tightened around his face and covered it. Turning around, Robbie miserably walked away.

"What's his deal?" Wendy stared at the emo with a puzzled look.

"Beats me." Patrick shrugged. He then looked at the ground for a moment, before taking a deep breath. "Hey, Wendy." She turned around and looked at him. This was it. No going back. No mistakes. "Look, I…I know we've only known each other for about a mouth, but you and I've been hanging out for a long time now and…well, would you like to out with me?"

Wendy was taken back by this, which was really saying something. Ever since her braces came off, almost every boy in Gravity Falls have had their eyes on the ginger and have asked her out. And Wendy's dated a lot of guys, even for her age of 15. She's seen them all, and each time she thought that they'd be different from the last guy she dated, but they were all the same. A bunch of jerks.

Her mind went back to the drawing of her that Patrick drew, which she remembered was still in her pocket. After being around him and the two getting to know one another, Wendy could honestly say that Patrick was different. Much different from any other guy she's met. He was cool without trying to impress her too much. Serious but yet funny. Kind to others, and brave for his cousins. But just the events of with the Windmill Vandals and when she found out about his six toed feet show her that he was not a perfect person. In general, he was flawed, but that's why she liked him. She was honestly really worried about him during the time that he was suddenly in a gloomy mood and looked like he did something horrible after the Mystery Shack party, so she was happy seeing him back to his normal self.

It was surprising to her that he would be interested in someone like her, but after thinking about it for a long while, as she could tell from the worried expression on Patrick's face, Wendy gave him her answer with a smile. "Yeah, sure."

Patrick looked shocked at first when he heard her accept him, before a big joyful grinned spread on his face. Watching the two teenagers as they grabbed hands and walked off, Dipper and Mabel came over and stood a few feet behind their cousin. Looking really satisfied with their work. "Mabel, we're awesome at this match making," the brother said.

"Agree, broseph." Mabel then turned around. "Now to win my pig. AH!"

The gasp startled Dipper and he looked at her with confusion. He then followed her gaze and saw that Pacifica was that the Win a Pig pen, with Sprott handing her Waddles. "He's all yours! No one else's! Ol' 15-Poundy. Yours. Forever!"

"Oh no," Dipper said, now knowing what was wrong. As Pacifica linked a leash onto Waddles and pulled him away, with Waddles squealing and disobediently, he turned to Mabel, and saw her look of horror. "Mabel…"

Mabel suddenly screamed in terror, before turning around and running away. Dipper knew where she was going and had to stop her.

* * *

As for Patrick and Wendy, their ride on the Tunnel of Love and Corn dogs was coming to an end. They laughed together as their car exited out of the tunnel. "That was even more awesome the third time around!" Wendy said to her boyfriend, before gasping with excitement and point at something. "Funnel cake! Let's go get some, Patrick!"

She hopped out of the and ran off to get some of the funnel cake, with Patrick about to follow her. However, after he stepped off the corn dog car and was about to run after her, it sounded like someone was screaming. Stopping for a moment, he looked around to see where it was coming from, and picked his ear when he thought that he was hearing things. However, he heard that it was coming from behind him and turned to see Mabel running up to him, screaming her head off. "AAAAAAA!"

"What's—"

"AAAAAAAAAA!"

"Mabel, what's—"

"AAAAAAAAA!"

"MABEL!" Patrick yelled, startling her enough to finally get her to stop screaming. He took a deep breath and exhaled. Calming down. "Okay, what is wrong?"

"We messed up the timeline!" Mabel exclaimed with a sad face "Originally, Pacifica was the first one there before I was, but then Dipper came, challenged her, and kissed her, making me the one to win Waddles. But because Dipper wasn't there to take her to the mechanical bull and I wasn't there to do anything about it, Pacifica won Waddles! She TOOK Waddles, Patrick!"

"Oh." Patrick was surprised to hear that, but his expression turned to sympathy when he saw her starting to cry. "Oh my God, Mabel I'm so sorry," he said, before pulling out the time machine. "Look, it's going to be okay. We just need to go back and do things differently."

"Wait! Don't do it." The two of them heard Dipper and turned towards him. Dipper had run up to Patrick from the other side of the tunnel of love with an urgent look. "Look. I did the math. In any other timeline, Wendy ends up going out with Robbie, and if I do challenge Pacifica, I end up kissing her. I'm not going to let that girl be my first kiss, again!"

Patrick looked at him with a raised eyebrow. Is a kiss from her really that bad? "But if we don't go, I'll lose Waddles forever!" Mabel exclaimed, before she jumped at Patrick and grabbed the time machine. Trying to wrestle it out of his hands.

However, Patrick wasn't having any of it, and was a little surprised by her sudden grab for the time and tried to push him away from it. He was about to yank it away and scold her, but then Dipper tackled him too, causing Patrick to fall back when another car came by. The tape measure was caught by the car, and all the three kids could do was watch as it was pulled out a long way before letting go.

"Crap!" They all shouted before the time machine completely rolled up and they disappeared in a flash of light.

* * *

When they appeared, they were high up in the air, before falling to the ground on their faces.

Patrick, Dipper and Mabel were the first ones to get up. Dusting themselves off, they looked around that their surroundings. There was no fair. Nor was there a Mystery Shack. No people, and the wildlife were more abundant than it was before. Where they were standing in now was a dirt road that led to who knows where.

"When are we," asked Dipper.

"Don't you mean _when_ are we," Mabel asked, before realizing that Dipper already said that.

"Oh, shut up!" Patrick grabbed the two of them by their heads and slammed them together, hard. They bother both screamed in pain, before they fell to the ground again, holding their heads as they throbbed in agony.

"What was that for?" Mabel rubbed her head.

"What was that for? _What was that for?!_ What the actual FUCK were _you thinking_ , Mabel!? _"_ Patrick yelled at her with a look a fury.

" _Me_?!"

"YES, YOU! We could have figured something else out! Now look at what the—" He snapped his head at Dipper. "—BOTH of you have done!" He said yelling at them when he started to feel a vibration in the ground. The twins also felt it. Then the sound of rumbling was heard from down the path.

The three of them look, just as a whole herd of buffalo came stampeding right for them.

"Oh my God, RUN!"

"AAAAAAAAAA!" They all screamed and started running from the herd. The buffalo kept coming right for them, as Patrick pulled out the time machine and tried to get it to get them back to the present. The twins looked behind at the buffalo.

None of the were looking at where they were going. So, when they ran through some bushes, the three ended up running off the side of a cliff. Only when they realize this that they started falling.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAA!" They all screamed for their lives before they crashed through the canvas roof of a wagon. Breaking their fall by landing onto some flour. This made them look around at their surroundings. Behind the wagon they were in, there were more, along with horse and men walking on a narrow path on the face of the cliff. All of them in settler outfits.

"Be on the lookout for mountain lions, travelers!" One of the settlers said.

"Dysentery!" exclaimed a man walking with the horse, holding up a canteen. "Who wants dysentery?"

"Forge ahead, mighty oxen, for a new life awaits us on this... Oregon trail." Said the driver.

When he heard that, Patrick got worried. "Oh no."

"Where are we? The 70s," Mabel asked.

"You sent us back 150 years, genius, it's pioneer times!" Dipper whispered.

"By Trembley!" The driver exclaimed when he saw Patrick and the twins. "Fertilia, it seems you've given birth to three more children!"

"It appears I have." Patrick and the twins turned their heads to see the woman sitting with six other children near her. "More little hands to render the tallow."

Mabel giggled at that. "Tallow? What?"

"Her mouth is filled with silver, mother!" One of Fertilia's sons pointed at the girl's mouth.

"These are called braces," Mabel said.

"Mabel, knock it off," Patrick whispered, pulling her away. "We can't start messing with the past!"

"Oh, said the guy who messed with the past all day and cost me my pig?" Mabel retorted.

"That was because we were restarting one day. We are way far into the past and the effects that we could be doing could destroy the fabric of time and…"

But Mabel didn't listen to him and pulled out a calculator, before showing it to the boy. "Check it out! A magic button machine!" She said, giving it to him. "Shoes that blink!" Mabel then stomped on the floor and her shoes lit up.

"Ooooooooohhhhhh!" said the family.

"Stop it!" Patrick yelled before handing Dipper the time machine and taking the calculator back from the pioneer boy. "Get that thing set for the present and get us out of here."

"Hey, sister! Guess who gets to vote in the future! Ladies! Up top!" Mabel continued to further mess up the timeline by offering Fertilia a high five. The woman looked confused, but did it nonetheless. "That's called a high five! Teach it to your friends!"

Patrick reached out and grabbed her arm. He yanked her away from the family and turned to Dipper. "Are you set?"

"There's a back-to-the-present button," Dipper said with his finger over the button. "We've gotta set the timeline right!" He presented the button, and the three of them disappeared.

* * *

When the three kids reappeared, they were out of pioneer. Patrick, Mabel and Dipper sighed a sigh of relief, only for a red bolt to nearly hit the male twin's foot. He jumped back, startled, which made them look at their surroundings.

Turned out that the time machine did take them to the present. Just not _their_ present. The Pines family was standing in the middle of a futuristic city; however, it was all in ruins. Like a war was sent right through it. The sky was a sickly yellow, and there were two moons with a green glow.

Running past them were these freedom fighters that were in a tactical retreat. One of the stopped and looked that the kids with a laser gun in his hand. The gun looked like a futuristic sawed-off double-barrel shotgun with no shock.

"What are you kids doing here? It's coming! Quick, take this!" He threw the laser gun at them. Patrick caught it with ease, looking at it with wide eyes.

He then screamed and ran away, only to be blasted into dust by a massive float baby. No kidding, it was the size of a small building with a glowing red hourglass mark on his head and black eyes. His head was bigger than his body, with pink blush on his cheeks and long eyelashes. He was also half nude, and was wearing only a diaper.

His eyes turned red, before he shot laser beams from his eyes. Laughing evilly, the giant baby floated away while destroying more buildings.

"This future seems neat!" Mabel smile.

"Get us out of here," Patrick said, putting the laser gun in his sweater. Dipper nodded and frantically started pressing buttons. The three of them disappeared again.

* * *

When they reappeared again, they were back to the day their great uncle had taken them fishing. Mabel took this as the opportunity she needed to snatch the time machine from her brother and started running off. "I'M COMING, WADDLES!"

"Hey/You brat!" Dipper and Patrick yelled at the same time before running after the girl. The calculator dropping out of Patrick's sweater. Right before Old Man McGucket started yelling.

* * *

They time traveled again, and the two males chased Mabel behind the crowd of people that came for Stan's reopening of the Mystery Shack Wax Museum. Dipper tripped over a wire on the ground and lost his shoes, before continuing to run after his twin.

* * *

Then they were running behind the monster made of gnomes on the day they started their mystery shoving days. As she moved, Mabel ended up losing her flower hairclip, but didn't stop running.

* * *

The next jump they made was a day they didn't recognize, as it was in the middle of winter and it was snowing. "This thing is getting hotter!" Mabel exclaimed, as blue lightning started to come off it, making her toss it from hand to hand. "HOT! HOTHOTHOT!"

The three Pines kids stopped running and Patrick grabbed the time machine from her. "WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

"I DON'T KNOW!"

The lightning of the machine started to intensify, before it consumed the fearful children and then they disappeared.

After they are gone, a light inside the Shack turned on. The front door was opened before a man stepped out to see what all the noise was. "What was all that, Stanford?" asked a woman's voice.

"Nothing I can see, Veronica," Stanford said, before closing the door.

* * *

The next time they reappeared, Patrick, Dipper and Mabel were in complete darkness.

"Where are we," asked Mabel.

"There's nothing but inky blackness for miles!" Patrick said.

"Mabel, don't you see? We've transported to the end of time!" Dipper yelled.

"AAAGH!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

"AAAGH!" Patrick screamed after Mabel and then Dipper, but then stopped when he smelt something. Why was there a smile at the end of time? "Wait, why does it smell so bad in here?"

He reached out with his arm and touched a surface. That turned out to be a door and opened up. As they walked out of the portable toilet at the Mystery Fair, they exhaled the bad smells and inhaled fresh air into their lungs.

"Look, we're back in the present!" Mabel pointed.

"But which present," Dipper asked.

Patrick looked around for a moment before he saw Robbie walking around with his hoodie still covering his miserable face. Patrick's eyes followed him before he saw Wendy holding her stuffed animal, looking at it like it was the best present ever.

"Yes!" The teenage fist-pumped.

But then they heard a pig squealing and saw Pacifica pulling Waddles by his leash, as the swine tried to pull away from her.

"NO!" Mabel shouted, before lunging at Patrick and trying to reach for the time machine. "Gimme that thing! Patrick give it back!"

However, Patrick held it over his head and out of Mabel's reach. He'd just about had enough of her and pushed her hard enough to make her take a few sets back before falling to the ground. "Look, Mabel, it's over! Okay? Give it up!" He exclaimed.

"But what about Waddles? He was my soulmate!" Mabel looked at him with pleading eyes that hurt to look at.

Dipper then stepped in. "You said that about a ball of yarn once! I'm not having Pacifica be my first kiss! Besides, what about Patrick?" He then gestured to Patrick, making sure what he said got to her. "This is what we wanted! For him and Wendy to be together. Do you really want to take that away from him?"

Mabel looked at the two, ready to cry at any moment. She then pulled out some phones of her and the pig. She really did love Waddles, but she loved Patrick just as much. Waddles was special to her, but so was Patrick. Was there really no other way. Was she going to sacrifice her happiness for Patrick, or sacrifice his happiness for hers? "I don't know..." she said miserably. Not just to the two before her, but to herself.

She then closed her eyes, turned and went over to the totem pole. Mabel then started to hit her head against.

Seeing this made Patrick worried. "Hey, don't…" Dipper stopped him.

"Don't fall for it. She's just trying to guilt-trip us," he told him.

Patrick looked at Mabel with a concerned look. "Are you sure?"

"Come on, Patrick, I know her. She's gonna forget about this in a day!" Dipper then handed the time machine to Patrick. "In fact, go and see for yourself." Patrick took the time machine and set it for one day into the future.

When he reappeared, the Fair was being taken down, and there was no one in sight. But worst, Mabel was still hitting her head on the totem pole. Patrick was now starting to get worried again, and went forward one week into the future.

When he reappeared a week later, the girl was still hitting herself. Patrick started to sweat and grabbed the tape. She'll better in a month. She had to be. So, Patrick went forward a month into the future.

He really wished he hadn't. When Patrick reappeared in the future, Mabel was in a worst state than he's ever seen her in. Vines growing on her legs, her colors of her clothing were fading and losing their hue, Mabel's skin was pale, and she looked as though she hadn't eaten in days. But worst of all was that her forehead was bruised and there was a bandaged wrapped around her head, with red blood on the area that she hits. "Waddles..." She moaned for her pig and smacked her head. "Waddles..." She smashed it again.

Patrick couldn't bear to look and turned away. Then two people walked over to him. "It's hard to look at, isn't it," Wendy asked with Dipper carrying a first aid kit and a small pillow.

"What are you guys doing here," he asked.

Dipper walked over to his sister with an expression of guilt. "We've been doing all we could to get her to stop, but she just wouldn't," he said, before trying to replace the bandage with one hand, while using the other one to protect her bleeding head from hitting the totem.

"Dipper told me everything," said Wendy, surprising Patrick. "About hitting me in the eye and using a time machine to make things right and ask me out. So, we waited for you."

Patrick looked down at the time machine and then looked at Mabel. Dipper used rope to tie the pillow to the totem pole after replacing Mabel's bloodied bandages. Now her head wasn't hitting against the hard wood. With his job done, Dipper walked away to give Patrick and Wendy some space.

But just seeing his cousin in this state just made Patrick sick to his stomach. And so, he came to a decision. "Wendy, have to back and fix this," he said, looking at her. "And if I do, then we're going to boyfriend and girlfriend."

Wendy a little taken back by this. However, it wasn't long before she smiled at him. "I know. And when you do hit me in the eye, me ending up with Robbie and Dipper will have to kiss Pacifica. But at least Mabel will be happy."

Patrick was a little surprised by how well she was handling this so-called breakup. "So…you're okay with this," he asked.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm not happy that I haven't seen you in over a mouth and you're just breaking up with me," she said with a stern and upset look. However, she smiled again. "But that doesn't mean I'm not glad you're doing it for your family."

Patrick smiled and nodded.

"Oh, and one more thing."

Patrick looked up from time machine, and Wendy leaned forward and kissed him.

Surprised, Patrick stared at her closed eyes with wider ones. New feeling started to spring from his heart as he closed his eyes and kissed back. That's when he figured it out, as the kiss ended with Wendy pulling away, and smirking at him.

"See you earlier," she whispered.

Patrick recognized the joke, but also realized that she'd pulled the tape of the time machine. Setting it to the day of the fair.

She lets it go, and Patrick disappeared.

* * *

And so, after Patrick told him about what happened and what became of Mabel, Dipper reluctantly agreed to go kiss Pacifica for his twin's sake. So, he walked over to the Win a Pig game, as the rich girl approached it.

Why does this have to happen to him? He tried challenging her to any other games in the many redoes he had, but she didn't want to do any of them. And even when he asked her what game she'd want to do, she pointed to the mechanical bull.

He gulped and groaned. This time, he was really going to hate himself for doing this. "Hey! Pacifica!"

Pacifica turned and smirked arrogantly when she saw him. "Well, if it isn't—" Dipper suddenly grabbed her by the shoulders and slammed his lips into hers. Shocking everyone around them and making them gasp.

With Pacifica too shocked to do anything, Dipper held it for as long as he was willing to, before pushing away and into the wooden fence of the pig pen. "There, I did it," he said, before holding up his arms and moving them in a presenting manner. "Go ahead, do your worst."

Pacifica looked really pissed off. "Oh, that's not even close to what I'm going to do to you," she growled, punching her palm.

A few painful moments later, and Dipper was pushed across the ground. Now more bruised and battered, he laid there as a steaming Pacifica walked away. He sighed. "It's done."

As he stood up, he was attacked by a happy Mabel. She tackled him to the ground with a big grin and a hug, and with Waddles touching him with his nose. "DIPPER!" She shouted with overwhelming joy, before picking him up and hugging him tightly. "THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!"

When she was done, Mabel put him down. "It wasn't all my idea," he said.

"AUUGH! MY EYE!" Those faithful words brought their attention elsewhere.

After accidently hitting Wendy in the eye, Patrick watched as she walked away with Robbie. Hearing him ask her out just made the Pines teenager all the more miserable.

"PATRICK!" Mabel shouted as she ran over and tackled him with a hug, but Patrick didn't fall over. "You save Waddles!"

"Whoop de fucking do!" Patrick groaned with an irked expression and the time machine in his hand.

Suddenly the device was taken from him. "YOU THREE!" Blendin shouted with a finger pointed at the Pines kids.

While Dipper and Mabel, and even Waddles was frightened, Patrick looked at the man with a look of misery and aggravation. "Look, buddy, I sorry for taking your time machine. But I'm tired and now I'm heartbroken, so can we just call it a day and move on?"

"You think it's that easy?! Do you have any idea, how many rules you just broke?! I'm asking; I wasn't there with you... it was probably a lot, right?"

Then things got crazier for Patrick and the twins when two large, muscular men in futuristic clothing and armor appeared out of nowhere. One of these men took the time machine from Blendin as the other one said, "Blendin Blandin..."

"AAAAGH! The Time Paradox Avoidment Enforcement Squadron!" Blendin yelled.

"That's right, and our phones have been ringing off the hook!" said the second man. "There are settlers high-fiving in the 1800's and calculators littered through eight centuries!"

Patrick's eyes widened. So that meant he and the twins never found out who was causing those time anomalies Blendin was looking for, before because they were the ones that caused them. Or something like that. His head hurts just thinking about it.

"You're under arrest for violation of the Time Traveler's Code of Conduct." the two future men grabbed Blendin.

"It was those kids!" Blendin desperately said while he was being taken away. "And their leader, Waddles!"

"That's a pig, Blendin."

Blendin glared at Patrick, Dipper and Mabel. "I'll get you for this! I'll go back in time and make sure your parents never MEET!" But after looking at their bodies and see that they were still there, they figured that he didn't get the chance to go back, or forgot to.

* * *

 **[Play music:** _ **The Sound of Silence**_ **by Simon & Garfunkel]**

Later on, as the sun was beginning to set, Patrick was up on the secret hang that Wendy brought him and the twins up to on the roof. He was looking at the sunset, hoping that it'd help him clear his head. But he still felt the same as he did earlier. Wendy knew what he had to do, but that kiss and him realizing that he was in love with the ginger left him heartbroken, mad, and devastated.

So, when Dipper and Mabel came to check up on him, bringing him a case of soda, they were worried when they saw him sitting near the edge of the roof.

"Hey, did you see me sick Waddles on Robbie," Mabel asked with a hopeful smile.

"Yeah," Patrick said.

"Are you going to be okay," Dipper asked.

Patrick was silent for a moment. "You guys were right; I _am_ in love with Wendy."

Surprised and concerned, Mabel and Dipper glanced at each other. They then looked back at Patrick, now knowing that he really gave up the chance be with Wendy and that he was probably really hurting inside. "You wanna talk about it," Mabel asked.

"…No."

Mabel didn't push it. Knowing that she really messed up. Being supportive, she and her brother sit down with him between them. She then pulled off a soda from the carrier and give it to Patrick. Patrick looked at her for a moment, before giving her a weak smile. He grabbed it and opened the soda and took a sip from it, as Dipper and Mabel grabbed and opened theirs.

Patrick and the twins just spent the next few minutes looking out at the sunset.

* * *

 **AN: Hope all of you had a happy New Year and I hope you all liked the ninth chapter of "Weirder Things."**

 **You all wanted some more sad ending, so here you go. This was a chapter I've been dying to write. The moment that Robbie asks out Wendy. But this was also the moment Patrick tries his luck and asked out Wendy, and gets his first kiss with her! But then he sacrificed it all for Mabel's happiness. And Dipper kissed Pacifica! Yeah, that's how that pairing was going to kick off. And yes, Pacifica did beat him up, a lot.**

 **Patrick getting his chance with Wendy and then losing her will definitely cause him some grief, and I know that many of you wanted for the two to be together. But as an author, I know that with this happening and with him getting past this heartbreak, Patrick will emerge stronger than he was before.**

 **Now, many of you have been asking for Patrick to get a different weapon, so he got himself a double-barrel laser gun from the future. This was inspired by Mad Max and his iconic shotgun.**

 **Do this mean that the crowbar is being replaced. That is a big HELL NO! That crowbar of his is not only going to remain his primary weapon, but it's also sort of his iconic weapon too. When you think of characters like Indiana Jones and his iconic weapon, you don't think of the many guns he's used, you think of his whip. The crowbar for Patrick is a representation of his ability to adapt. One moment it's a tool for him to use and then the next it's a weapon to defend and attack.**

 **He'll keep the laser gun, but he'll only have it at the house and only in an emergency. Plus, I highly doubt he'll be able to carry it around freely.**

 **Also, I know that Veronica and Ford were living in the Shack in that one scene, but I just want to make something clear to everyone: Veronica and Ford are COUSINS, just like she's cousins with Stan. They are not dating, or lovers, and you think that's the case, then you're wrong. It's bad to think that there's insect pairs (Pinesect) in the** _ **Gravity Falls**_ **fandom, which by the way is just sickening and twisted, and I don't want anyone thinking that Veronica and Ford are in an insect relationship.**

 **Seriously, who's the mother #$ that came up with that shit?!**

 **However, the real question is; what was she doing with Ford?**

 **If you've been paying attention to the story, then you'll know that I've made more than one reference to** _ **Regular Show**_ **. Heck, the ending of this chapter was inspired by the ending of Steak Me Amadeus. If you're a fan of that show, then BOY are you going to love the next chapter.**

 **And another thing, I've put up a Poll for your favorite OC character from my seven stories. It's nothing really important, it's mostly just for fun.**

 **Thank you very much for reading. "Weirder Things" will return. Please be sure to Favorite and Follow if you like the story, and if you want me to keep writing this story, then please leave a REVIEW. I would really appreciate it if you do. If you any questions or discussions you'd have for me, then please PM me or write it out in the review.**

 **Thank you for reading, may God bless you, and farewell.**


	10. Rage Against the Game

**MAJORMATT1234:** It was sweet, and it was a little fun to mess with Dipper and Pacifica.

 **ClyxicRyse:** Well, I'm mostly using how Dipper was like when he liked Wendy, but modifying it for Patrick. Only those feelings will be returned by Wendy.

 **1jesus:** Thank you and I did. Finally got to see some snow.

 **Gamelover41592:** …You know, I never really thought of that. It probably still would have hit her.

 **FrancisVamp0822:** Yelp.

 **Jack Kings:** Yeah, poor Patrick.

 **Darkmaster10000000:** As much as I want to kill him, he's still important to the story.

 **LoamyCoffee:** Well, here's your _Regular Show_ chapter.

 **Guest (Bobby Jenkins):** Nope. The chapter's done.

 **coldblue2015:** Yeah, one thing that I'll not a pro at it grammar.

 **RedHood001:** Thank you.

 **Guest (Matt):** Well there were some people that wanted some more sad endings. Also, Veronica is the OC character introduced in the chapter "Irrational History", and she's Patrick's grandmother.

 **blazingpheonix123:** Yeah, and that's why I didn't even try to include Dipper liking Wendy, only because it'll really complicate things and because it wasn't going to happen. And I hope you like the chapter.

 **crawforddarius7:** Thanks, and I'm sorry too if I was too harsh. I hope there's no hard feelings, and I'll look into doing some kind of Witcher series.

 **foxchick1:** Courage would agree with you.

 **Guest (dinodude):** And don't worry, he's not.

 **NullSilver2005:** Yeah, I have to admit, it can get really messy.

 **Guest (William):** I'm actually not going to do a squeal, unless there's going to be another Gravity Falls show or season.

 **Fihz Nzqli:** Thanks and I hope to continue doing great with this story.

* * *

Well, here we go again. Patrick in a miserable state after something bad happened to him. Just like before, Dipper and Mabel spent the whole week doing everything they could to make him happy and become cheerful again. However, it wasn't always easy, as he'd still had to work with Wendy, the girl of his dreams.

Lately he's been hanging out less with Wendy. But whenever the two were working together, Patrick would try to play things cool and act like he's always have been with her, even though deep down he was hurting and conflicted. He was in love with Wendy, he was sure of it, but he gave it all up for his cousin to be happy, and honestly it was something he was willing to do again.

But now she was dating Robbie of all people, and he's been going out of his way to show it. Patrick would be using work as a way to keep his mind away from Wendy and Robbie, as it was painful to see that two so happy together. But the emo's been coming to the Mystery Shack every day. Hanging around the redhead or waiting for her to get out of work. Most of the times she'd just ditch work and go with him.

Despite knowing that it was likely over and that he should move on, Patrick was still hoping that there may still be a single amount of hope. That he may actually have a chance. But for now, the others were trying to help him forget about his lady problems. Now it was Soos' turn, and he knew just the thing to cheer him up.

"This is it dude, my favorite place in Gravity Falls," Soos said to Patrick after they entered the Gravity Falls arcade. "Everything I know, I learned right here." He started walking towards some of the games, and Patrick followed him. First, they stopped in front of a game call Frog Time. "A frog taught me how to cross a street." Soos then showed his friend another game called Ghost Maze. "When my house was haunted, I learned how to eat ghosts."

Patrick was starting to see how his friend ended up the way he is.

"And this thing taught me how to dance." Soos then showed Patrick to a dancing machine game. Surprising, the person that was playing the game was Old Man McGucket. However, as he was dancing like a crazy prospector, his feet weren't even touching any of the arrow panels. Patrick looked at the screen and saw a piece of paper that said, "Out of Order".

"Woo-hoo-hoo! I've been jiggin' here for seven days straight!" McGucket exclaimed, dancing nonstop.

Patrick figured that it was too late to do anything for the man and just decided to let the crazed man have this moment. He then went off on his own to find a fighting game. Walking towards the back of the arcade, Patrick looked around to see many of the games in either disrepair, looking like they've been untouched in years, or were covered by a blanket and had a sign on them that said that they were out of order. "Is there anything that works," he asked.

"Hey, Patrick!" Patrick was startled and turned quickly towards Wendy, who to his dismay was in the arcade and was playing a game before hearing her friend. "I didn't think you'd be here."

"Wendy!" Patrick exclaimed before laughing nervously. Why of all places did she have to be here? However, his mood was changed when he saw the game she was playing. "Oh, no way! _The Hammer_?" He asked, walking over to her and the arcade. It's a beat-em-up arcade game where you play as two dudes who fight a lot of people, similar to games like _Double Dragon_.

"You like this game," Wendy asked, pleasantly surprised.

Any negative thoughts were forgotten when Patrick turned to her with a big smile. "You kidding me? I used to play this all the time when I was younger," he said. "Couldn't get past level ten, though."

Wendy shrugged. "Wanna play?"

Patrick was a little hesitant at first, but seeing a that she wasn't with Robbie and a chance to just have a good time her the redhead, he wasn't going to pass it up. "Let's do this," he said with a determined grin and inserted a coin into the game and started playing.

However, nearby and right behind them was none other that Robbie. The emo that was dating Patrick's crush was putting up flyers for his band, in which he was the lead guitarist. Then he heard the voices of two familiar people, and turned around to see Wendy and Patrick playing _The Hammer_ together and having a good time.

He quickly came. "Wendy! What's up, babe?" Robbie placed a hand on Wendy's shoulder. Just the emo being there made Patrick's good mood sour, but he couldn't beat the enemies in the game without the help of a second player. So, he placed the game on pause, forced to have to listen to Robbie bragging. "Yeah, just putting up some flyers for my band. I'm playing lead guitar. No biggie."

Patrick looked that flyer. It had the band's name at the top, with Robbie glaring at the viewer with his finger pointing at them and the title "You're Dead!" just below him. However, one thing really stood out to him and made the Patrick try and hold in laughter. "Nice mascara?"

"Uh, it's eye-paint for men, prick," Robbie corrected him.

"Hey Robbie, Patrick and I were just playing this great game," Wendy said, seemingly unable to see the aggression shared by the two teenage boys.

"Ha, yeah, sweet, sweet." Robbie seemingly ignored her and moved her away from Patrick, placing himself between the two. This didn't sit well with Patrick, before Robbie turned to him pushed him away. "Hey, how about you sit this one out, okay buddy?"

"Screw you," Patrick said with a glare. "We just started this level."

"Whoa, whoa, hey!" Robbie put up his hands defensively. "Relax man, I'm just trying to spend a little time with my _girlfriend_ , alright?"

As Robbie gave Patrick an arrogant expression, Wendy tried to break the tension and smiled at Patrick. "It'll just be one round." And so, the couple turned towards the game and started playing. Seeing that there was nothing he could do, Patrick stepped away and was about to walk away before Wendy said to Robbie, "So hey, I'm gonna go camping tomorrow with my dad, so I won't be around."

"Oh, cool, cool, watch out!"

Patrick could watch the two from behind. Why would Wendy even consider dating someone who doesn't even care to listen to what she had to say. Robbie then puts his arm over Wendy's shoulder and brought her close to him. Without Wendy even knowing, he subtly glared at Patrick.

Patrick glared right back at him. He already had her, but if Robbie wanted to fight him for Wendy, then Patrick would be more than willing to give him that fight.

* * *

 **{Play** _ **Stranger Things**_ **theme by Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein}**

 **[0:00-0:03]**

 _At the beginning of the intro, there is nothing but blackness._

 **[0:03-0:08]**

 _Then about three seconds later, a bunch photographs started falling from above in slow motion._

 **[0:08-0:11]**

 _Getting a closer look at one of the photographs, while others twirled and spun in the background in slow motion, shows the town of Gravity Falls from a distance._

 **[0:11-0:14]**

 _Another picture shows the Mystery Shack during the night time, with bright lights shining thought the windows._

 **[0:14-0:16]**

 _One photo shows a thundering sky that had a large, flying creature's shadow being seen through the dark clouds. The camera then focuses on a picture behind the previous one, showing large claw marks on a tree trunk, as more photos were seen falling._

 **[0:16-0:19]**

 _Three photos are focused on now, one showing an angry Gnome, the second showing something that resembles the Long Ness Monster, and the third show a dinosaur tooth trapped in amber._

 **[0:19-0:25]**

 _The camera shows the cluster of photographs continuing to fall, before angling downwards to show all of them lying on a flat surface, collecting in a pile._

 **[0:25-0:40]**

 _The camera then gradually moves back to show more of the photos landing. After the last of the photos were on the surface, the camera moves upwards, displaying nothing but blackness again._

 **[0:40-45]**

 _Then the title of the story appeared in a flash of light._

 _ **WEIRDER THINGS**_

 **[0:45-end]**

 _It then disappeared, before the chapter title appeared._

 **Chapter Ten**

 **Rage Against the Game**

* * *

And so, the next day came. In the Mystery Shack, Grandma Veronica came over to spend time with her family, after finally having free time away from her "job". She'd also heard about the troubles Patrick's been having and had offered her advice on the subject. Saying that if it does get serious between Wendy and Robbie, then he's going to have to let her go. Patrick knew she was right, but was still hoping that there was still a chance.

But for now, he was playing poker with his grandmother, Stan, Dipper, Mabel, and Soos. For the currency, they were using crackers.

"King me!" Mabel placed down her cards, revealing she had two Kings in her hand.

The other groaned and moaned, throwing their cards down as Mabel laughed and took all the crackers. "Way to go, Stan," Veronica said accusingly.

"What are blaming me for? She doesn't even know what we're playing!" Stan said.

"Go Fish?" Mabel asked innocently. Then they all started to hear an electric guitar playing from outside the Shack. It was so loud that the lights hanging from the ceiling were shaking.

"Dude, I think I'm picking up a radio station inside my head," said Soos, while picking his ear.

Veronica looked at him with a raised eyebrow. She's met a lot of people in her time with her agency, and the man child is still the weirdest person she's ever met. "What's he talking about," she whispered to Dipper at her right.

"Don't ask," he said.

"Weeendy!" They all heard the people placing the guitar.

Patrick groaned and placed a hand on his head. "Ugh, sounds like Robbie."

"Robbie? That boy you were talking about," Veronica asked.

"Yep, that same jerky twerp I see making goo-goo eyes at Wendy all the time," said Stan.

"He called me 'Big Dude' once," Soos told them. "I mean, I know I'm a big dude, but it kinda hurt."

"Well, someone's got to get him out of here," Veronica said. If she wanted to, she was more than capable of doing more than getting him to go away. However, she wasn't going to let her cover be blown all because of a little teenage drama.

And that someone turned out to be Patrick, who got up from the table. "I'll handle it," he said before leaving to talk to Robbie. Stan, Mabel and Soos knew that there was going to be conflict and it was going to be interesting.

Patrick exited out of the house and walked towards Robbie. The emo played his guitar and sang horribly, while having one foot on top of an amplifier.

"Wendy! Wendy, Wendy!" Robbie stopped, but didn't acknowledge Patrick, who was standing right in front of him. He just shouted, "Wendy! C'mon out, girl! C'mon down!"

"Dude. You realize she's not here, right," Patrick asked with his arms crossed and a glare.

Robbie scoffed. "Yes! ...What?"

"If you'd listened to her for once you'd know that she's out camping with her family today," Patrick explained to him and turned to walk back to the shack.

However, Robbie took offense. "What was that?!"

Patrick stopped and turned to him. "Dude, seriously? Are you deaf?" Patrick asked in annoyance. "I just said she's not here, so do us a favor and get out of here!"

"No, no, no! You want to get into it, huh? Let's get into it, fucker!" Robbie said after setting his guitar down and pointing at Patrick's chest. "You think I don't know what's been going on, huh? It's obvious you've got a thing for my girlfriend, don't you? Don't you?!" He poked Patrick hard in the chest, making him take a setback.

But Patrick wasn't going to be intimated and stood his ground. "Robbie, I'm not going to do this," he told him in a firm and stern a tone. His anger was boiling, but Patrick was trying to not let things get out of hand. Even though he really wanted to punch the emo.

"Yeah, and what do you have, Pines. I've known Wendy all my life, and you've known her for, what, a mouth? I'm sure she's just DYING to after out some out-of-town nobody," Robbie said sarcastically. He then pulled out his phone. "Hey, here's an idea: why don't I call her right now and see if she wants to go out on a date with you?"

As Robbie started dialing, Patrick's eyes widened. He then glared and said, "I'm warning you Robbie, just leave now and-!"

"And I'll do some!" Robbie further angered Patrick by mimicking him. He held up the phone and pressed call. "What're you gonna do, huh? What, huh?"

Suddenly, just as Wendy answered, Patrick smacked Robbie's cell phone out of his hand. The two watched with wide eyes filled with shock as it hit the ground and broke into many pieces.

"My phone!" Robbie shouted, before glaring at Patrick.

Patrick knew that he really screwed up. Of all the ways to lose his cool and anger, this was not how he wanted it to happen. "I'll buy you a new one!" He said quickly.

"Oh no, you're not getting off that easy!" Robbie grabbed Patrick by the collar and brought their faces close to each other. Patrick glared back at Robbie and grabbed him by the arms.

"Hey!" yelled Stan, poking his head out the window and glaring at Robbie. "I know a fight when I see one! Stay right there!" He brought his head back inside and closed the window.

Seeing this, Robbie gave Patrick another glare and pushed him, causing Patrick to hit his back against a wooden beam. "You. Me. Circle Park. 3 o'clock." Robbie punched his fist into his palm. He then turned and started walking away. "We finish this."

Veronica quickly ran outside the shack, while Stan just walked casually with a bucket of popcorn. As the grandmother tended to her grandson, her cousin said, "Aw, he's gone! I was just gonna call the boys over to place a few bets!"

Veronica punched him in the belly, making Stan double over in pain and drop his popcorn. "Stan!"

"What?" Stan groaned in pain. "The smart money's on Patrick."

Veronica shook her head in disapproval at her cousin, before placing her hands-on Patrick and guiding him back into the house. Once inside, she had him sit on the chair in the living room. "Well, I hope you're happy with yourself," she said, beginning to scold her grandson as he looked down. "You've let your anger get the better of you again, broke someone's property and got yourself into a fight!"

"I'm sorry, Grandma," Patrick said, with his mind on his fight.

"Well, it's not me that you should be apologizing to. It's that Robbie kid."

Stan then came in. "I don't see what the big deal is. Just bonk him over the head with that crowbar you're carrying around! It's nature's snooze button!"

"Stan, you're not helping!"

"Boys!" Mabel rolled her eyes. "Why can't you learn to hate each other in secret? Like girls do!"

"Maybe he'll just forget about it," Dipper said. "Maybe it'll all blow over."

"I don't know, Dipper," Soos said anxiously. "Teenagers are dangerous. Those hormones turn them into like, killing machines! My cousin Reggie got in a fight with a teen once. The guy broke like, all his arms, all his legs, and I think, killed him or something, I don't know. Me and Reggie were just talking about it."

Patrick and Veronica raised their eyebrows. How could he've talked about it if he's dead? "Look, you guys, I'm not fighting Robbie," Patrick said, getting up from the chair. "I'm just going to go there, give him a new phone, and then apologize."

"So, what are you going to do for now," asked Mabel. Patrick thought for a moment.

* * *

Patrick opened the door of the arcade and he, Dipper, and Soos walked inside. "Well, thanks for coming here with me, guys," he said to himself. "I rather do this than wait around all day."

"No problem, dude," Soos said. "Just try not to think about Robbie." The three of them then stopped when they saw dozens of posters for Robbie's band, all with their slogan: "You're dead!" on all of them.

The three just stared at them for a moment.

"Well, I'm going to play a game," Soos said, before walking away.

"Yeah," Patrick said, before he and Dipper went over to _The Hammer_. When they arrived, they were a little surprised to see that it was paused and that no one was there. The two looked around to see if anyone was around. But saw no one.

"Who leaves a game paused," Dipper asked as they walked up to it. Patrick pressed the play button. They then gasped to see that whoever was playing, they were just about to start on level 10. "No way, Level 10!?"

The game started, and there was only one player. "Quick, be player two! I think I figured out how to beat this level." Patrick exclaimed before taking over as player one. Dipper quickly pulled out a quarter and inserted in into the slot. The second player appeared, and the two cousins got ready as their avatars approached three enemies. Patrick and Dipper started playing and beating up the enemies. "Triple thugs! Triple thugs! Beat them up!"

They continued saying "triple thugs". Two of the triple thugs were beaten, before the two cousins ganged up on the last thug. They defeated him with ease, getting 500 points. Then a burly pink monster-like man came across the characters in the game and roared.

"Oh no, not this guy! Nobody's ever beaten this guy!" Dipper complained.

"Dude, we're gonna do it this time," Patrick said, before he and Dipper started mashing away at the buttons. Trying to beat up the monster. But nothing was happening. "Come on, hit him! Hit him!"

"I am hitting him! Nothing's happening!"

"Aw dude! Try kicking him in the junk! Kick him in the junk! Kick him in the junk!"

"I'm kicking him in the junk!"

There characters were kicking the enemy monster in the pile of junk that it was actually carrying around. "Well, keep doing it!" Patrick exclaimed. This went on only for a second, before the monster was defeated. Giving them 1200 points.

"YEAH!" The two shouted together.

Patrick sighed in relief. "I knew we were going to bet it."

They both looked back at the screened and Dipper gasped. Now there were in a dojo with the "FINAL LEVEL" flashing red. "Look! We made it to the final level!"

"Dude, do you know what this means," Patrick asked, not believing his eyes.

"We're dead?"

"No, we have to beat The Hammer."

"What was the slogan of this game again, _"Nobody Beats The Hammer"_?" Dipper stated.

"Yeah right. More like _nobody has even seen The Hammer_ ," Patrick replied.

There characters were standing in the middle of the dojo, as light flashed from the doors in the back. "Well, get ready to live. He's probably gonna come out of those doors," Dipper said with excitement, right before the final boss busted through the brick wall.

"Nobody beats The Hammer!" said the Hammer, a blue muscular man with a black mullet.

"It's the Hammer!" Dipper yelled, before he and Patrick jumped at their buttons and joystick and started trying to play. "Hit 'im! Hit 'im!" The two characters kicked and punched the Hammer, but nothing was happening. It wasn't even taking damage.

"Man, our hits aren't doing anything!" Patrick exclaimed.

"I know, my hands are killing me!" Dipper yelled, as they continued hitting the Hammer. Then the Hammer finally moved, and punched both of their characters. To Patrick and Dipper's horror, those punches were enough to take one of their lives with ease.

"Just one of his hits takes a whole life!" Patrick yelled with fear. The Hammer grabbed Patrick's character and flung him onto Dipper's, before then landing on them. Both characters' second life is taken away at the same time. Patrick gasped. "Run away, dude, run away!"

Both cousins had their characters running away from the Hammer, all while the final boss chased them in circles. "Don't let him touch you, man!" Dipper exclaimed.

"I'm not, I'm not!" But then Patrick's character was cornered by the Hammer. "AHH! DIPPER, HELP ME!"

Dipper saw chair in the game and had his character grab it. "YEAHHH!" he yelled, commanding his character to slam the Hammer in the back with the furniture. This caused the Hammer to yell out in pain, and his life decreased a little. "Patrick, his weakness is furniture! Furni—"

The arcade game suddenly flicked off.

Patrick and Dipper froze in place. "What just happened," the teenager asked in a panic, before running over to the side of the arcade game and pulled it out, seeing if it was disconnected somehow.

"I don't know!" Dipper said, before mashing buttons while also panicking.

Patrick shook the game side to side, and then slammed the side of it. This made the picture appear again, but it was only for about a second. It flicks off again. "Oh! Dude, the game's still on!" Patrick turned to the pause button on the game, and hit it. Pausing the game. "Aww Man!" He then started slamming the game. "Come on! Come on!" Patrick stopped and turned to Dipper. "Dipper, you finish him off."

"What?!"

"Dipper, we figured out his weakness. Think about it, we could be the first ones to beat the game. I'll keep the screen on while you beat the Hammer."

His cousin nodded and got ready. "Alright, let's do it!"

Patrick placed his fists on the surface of the game. "Ready...Go!" Patrick started drumming onto game to keep the picture on. Dipper attempted to fight off the Hammer, but with the screen flickering on and off, it was proving to be too much for him. He was grunting and freaking out when the Hammer hit his character, causing his character's life to decrease heavily. "I can't do it!..."

The boy hit the pause button.

"Awww man! We were totally gonna beat it!" Patrick said.

Dipper sighed, before sitting down and leaning his back against the game. "I know. he's just too hard to beat alone and the screen's broken."

Patrick started walking away. "Come on, let's go find Soos," he said, making Dipper get up and follow him. He then started calling out for the man. "Soos! Hey Soos!"

"Hey guys," said Soos from their right. Patrick and Dipper turned their heads to him, only to screen in shock. Soos' face was pressed up against the screen, from inside one of the videogames. "Help, I'm trapped in the game! It was cool in theory but in practice it was really boring. It's not just a game anymore!"

Patrick and Dipper shared a glance.

* * *

After about an hour later, Patrick and Dipper were able to finally get Soos out of the game after also completely dismantling it from the back. Then they spent another hour getting the thing back together without anyone noticing. Luckily, however, and astonishingly, they didn't get caught.

Once they were down, Patrick and Dipper took him over to _The Hammer_ , and the teenager hits the game. The screen appeared and then flicked off.

"Oh man! You dudes, really did get to the Hammer!" He exclaimed with wide eyes.

"That's what we've been telling you," Patrick said. "Look, is there anything that you can do?"

"Aren't you more worried about your fight with Robbie?"

"This is more important than that, Soos! We know how to beat him," Dipper said. After hearing that, Soos didn't need to be told anything else, and pulled out his screwdriver.

Pulling out the game from the wall and opening the back of it, Soos started looking around the internals. However, he didn't do anything and said, "Dudes, you've got to check this out." Patrick and Dipper went over and looked into the inside of the game. Inside was some text that said a message.

"To beat the game?" All three of them said out loud, glancing at each other, Before looking at what was under it. It looked like a series of combo moves.

"Is this look a special move to beat the Hammer," Dipper asked.

"Maybe it'll get the game to work again," Patrick said, before they got out from behind the game. Patrick and Dipper took position at the controls. "Soos, read the combo."

"Alright, dudes." Soos followed the combo with his finger, as he said each step of it out loud. Patrick and Dipper followed step perfectly in sync. "Back, back, hold, forward, back, forward, down, hold, quarter circle, forward, triple punch!"

The game's screen turned back on again. The boys all cheer happily. This was it. There could finally beat the Hammer.

Patrick looked at Dipper, both had the control in their hands. "Ready?"

"Ready." Dipper nodded.

Patrick pressed the play button...then the game, the other videogames, and everything else in the arcade suddenly went off.

Both cousins just looked at the screen in confusion. Patrick went to the side and slammed on the surface. It didn't turn back on.

No one said a word for a moment.

"Well, that's just great," Patrick said with a groan, then turned and walked away. It was close to his fight with Robbie, and he still needed to find a new phone to apologize. Soos and Dipper figured that it wasn't worth staying around anymore, so they just followed him.

However, just as they exited from the arcade and there was no one left in the building, _The Hammer_ game turned on, but there was a blue glow coming off of it, and it sent out a powerful force that sent all other games flying and crashing into each other or the walls. The screen didn't have where Patrick and Dipper left off. Instead, it kept showing "FINAL LEVEL" on it, with the voice of the Hammer character saying, "Nobody beats the Hammer." And this continued on for about a minute, until an intense light shot out from the game.

When it finally stopped, the light went away, and the game turned off. A set of large, pixilated boots landed on the ground, making it crack under its weight and power.

It was the Hammer! And he's spawned right into the real world!

The massive blue fight stood up from his crouching position all the way up to his full height, and then opened his eyes. This was it. This was the real final boss of the game. Why nobody beats him.

And that was going to be the last thing anyone who challenged him will understand.

* * *

Three bells ring tolled from the clock tower at Circle Park. Patrick was standing in the park with a plastic bag that carried the new phone. Dipper and Soos came with him, and were now sitting on a bench a few feet away, wanting to watch the fight and root for Patrick, if there was going to be a fight.

Patrick looked at his phone. It was three o'clock.

"Well, well, well!" Patrick turned towards the voice of Robbie and saw the emo standing a few feet from him with a satisfied grin and his hood over his head. Patrick scowled, as Robbie approached him and said, "Look who decided to show up! I thought you chickened out. You ready to settle this like men?"

Patrick threw the new phone at Robbie. It hit the emo in the chest before he caught it. Looking at it with a puzzled look, Robbie reached into the bag and pulled out the new phone.

"What is this?"

"A peace offering," Patrick said. "I sorry I broke your phone and don't want to fight you, Robbie. So, what do you say we just call this thing off."

"You scared, huh? Is that it?" Robbie taunted him.

"Of you? No." Patrick shook his head for a moment. "However, you do know that Wendy hates it when guys fight, right?"

Robbie scoffed. "Yes…what?"

"Is there anything about her that you know about," Patrick demanded, unable to believe how Robbie couldn't be bothered to know anything about Wendy. "Her favorite color? Her favorite band? What're the name of each of her brothers?"

Robbie looked away for a moment. "S-So what if I don't, she's still my girlfriend and I'm still going to kick your ass!"

"It does matter, you…" Patrick stopped himself when he noticed something coming towards them behind Robbie. He tilted his head to the left and gasped. It was the Hammer, and he was approaching them. The real videogame character stopped a few feet away, glaring at all of them.

"Woah…" Patrick, Dipper, and Soos said in amazement.

Robbie scoffed at the Hammer. "Who's this, your friend? And why is he... blurry?"

Excited, Soos jumped off the bench. "It's the Hammer!" He ran up to the to go near the large fighter and touched him. "He's real!"

The Hammer looked questioningly at him, but didn't say a thing.

"Dudes, take my picture with—" The Hammer suddenly punched Soos in the stomach, knocking him out and falling to the ground. Soos stared up at the sky in pain. "Oh no, bro—" The Hammer squashed him with his leg.

The Hammer then turned to Patrick and the others.

"What the—?" Freaking out, Robbie tried to run away, but then the Hammer grabbed him by his hoodie. The blue fighter picked him up, and then slammed him down to the ground, hard.

"What the hell is going on!" Patrick yelled, before being punched in the face. He was sent flying back into some metal bars. Bending some of them a bit.

"Patrick!" Dipper yelled.

Patrick groaned after being knocked over as he stood up, and spited out some blood from his mouth. He glared at the Hammer, but then became worried when he started walking towards Dipper. "Dipper, get out of there!" He yelled before running towards the Hammer. Patrick started hitting the Hammer with Soos, who'd recovered and also came to fight. Both were punching the videogame character, while Dipper jumped onto the Hammer's back and tried putting it into a headlock.

The Hammer simply grabbed Soos by the head and throw him at the kid's slide. Hitting it face-first, Soos groaned as he slid down the slide.

Directing his attention to Patrick, the Hammer hit Patrick hard in the chest, sending him flying into a tree. Patrick yelped on the impact, which bruised him up even more.

The Hammer tried to reach behind to grab at Dipper, but despite his strength the boy wouldn't let go. So, the Hammer ran back into a tree, slamming Dipper into it. He didn't give him a chance to recover, and slammed himself back, crushing Dipper, before delivering a knee to his stomach.

Robbie was about to stand up after being slammed into the ground, was even more jacked up by a wood plank to the face.

The Hammer punched Patrick in the face, kicked Dipper in the stomach, and then punched in the Soos' stomach.

Then they all watch in pain as the Hammer started to create and charge up a powerful ball of glowing blue energy. Ready to aim it at them.

"That doesn't look good!..." Dipper said on his knees.

"What's he doing?!..." Soos said, sitting and holding his stomach.

"Everybody gets down!" Patrick said, before the three of them out of the way when the Hammer launched the ball at them.

It missed them, and flew towards the clock tower and destroyed it in an explosion.

"What the-?" Patrick turned away from the destruction and towards Robbie when he heard his voice. "THAT GUY'S CRAZY!" The emo yelled, before running away. The Hammer saw this, and started running after him. If any opponent tried to run away, he was going to hunt them down and defeat them.

Patrick went over to Dipper and said, "Dude. How is this even possible?!"

"This had to be why nobody's beaten the Hammer," Dipper exclaimed, finally getting it. "Remember what the message said. It wasn't a combo to beat the Hammer; it must have somehow released him into the real world. _This_ is the final level!"

Who designs a game like that?! "Alright, I'll go after Robbie. You stay and get Soos up again." Patrick then ran off to save Robbie, following a trail of destruction that was created by the Hammer. "Come find us when you do!"

Patrick started running past a series of intense collateral damage, as he ran into town. Fire hydrates were knocked off, causing water to shoot up. Polls and signs were bent out of place, and there were buildings were broken windows. He then halted in front of a building that was owned by Barrel & Crates, Incorporated.

Something told Patrick this would be his first stop. The layout of the outside of the building was similar to that of the first level of the original arcade version of Donkey Kong. As a videogame himself, the Hammer must be somewhere.

Suddenly, a barrel was thrown out of the window on the floor. Robbie jumped out through that window and started going down the fire escape ladder. The Hammer broke through the wall, holding up a barrel.

The Hammer threw the barrel at Robbie. Robbie was able to duck and avoid the barrel, as it broke into pieces. "Chill out man! Just chill out!" The Hammer didn't and threw another barrel at him.

It missed him and was sent at Patrick. Patrick was able to dodge the barrel before it slashed into pieces on the ground. As the Hammer started throwing down more barrels at Robbie, with Robbie jumping over them in a scene that looked like it was from _Donkey Kong_ , a car pulled up to them. Dipper and Soos stepped out of the car and ran over to him. "Dude, how do we even hurt him?" Asked the big man.

"I don't know! He was invincible in the game too, until we hit him with..." Patrick gasped with eyes wide. "Furniture! Quick, grab whatever you can and smash it on him!" He pulled out his crowbar and ran after the Hammer, while Soos, and Dipper ran off into many of the smashed stores to grab some furniture.

As the Hammer was chasing Robbie down the street, a chair was thrown and slashed into pieces on his back. This seemed to hurt him, as the Hammer stopped. The Hammer turned the direction the chair came from, only for Patrick to start hitting him in the face with the crowbar.

Dipper then ran towards him with a chair he got from a destroyed building and smashed it on the Hammer. Soos then came with some more items. First he threw a lap at the Hammer, a telephone, and then some ceramic plates. Patrick hit the Hammer in the knee, getting the character on his knees, before Dipper uses a golf club to take out his other knee.

Patrick and Soos then came running out of a store with a refrigerator, with the owner yelling at them to bring it back. The two friends charge at the Hammer and threw it on top of him.

Weakened, the Hammer was on his hands and knees in the middle of an intersection, as three friends continued to hit him on his back. Patrick used his crowbar, Dipper with the gold club, and a metal stool for Soos.

Suddenly, the Hammer stood up and release a powerful blast of energy from his body, knocking all of them back in different directions. Soos was knocked into an empty baby carriage, which did support his weight for a moment before breaking down. Dipper was sent hitting against a stop sign.

Patrick was sent flying through the broken window of the arcade, landing hard on the ground. Bruised for their fighting, and some cuts from the glass on the floor. Robbie was also in the arcade, cowering in the corner. Patrick groaned and looked towards the opening, only to see the Hammer walking towards the arcade.

"Why isn't he dead!" Patrick exclaimed and stood up.

As the Hammer continued approaching the arcade, a van suddenly hits it. The van was from the museum, as Patrick could tell as he watched it continue to drive and then crashed the Hammer into a traffic light.

He was even further surprised when Veronica poked her head out of the open window and said, "You have to beat him in the game!" The Hammer recovered, and started to push back against the van, but Veronica slammed her foot on the gas and have to wheeling turning at full speed. Trying to keep the Hammer pinned against the poll, as he slowly pushed the vehicle back.

Patrick turned to Robbie and ran to him. "Come on! We've got to beat the Hammer!" He exclaimed, reaching down and pulling up to his feet.

"What?! Fuck you, man!" Robbie snapped, yanking his arm away. "I'm not doing anything with you!"

Patrick grabbed him by the collard of his shirt and brought him close to his face with a glare. "Yes, you are, you piece of shit!" Patrick hissed threateningly, which scared Robbie. Patrick then pulled the emo along as he ran towards where the game was at. Patrick then threw Robbie in the game, just really wanting to do that, and got ready. "We're ready!"

"Play it!" Veronica yelled.

Patrick and Robbie started playing. Their characters repeatedly slamming furniture into the Hammer. Each hit weakened and lowered his life force. It was only for about three seconds, as they easily defeated the Hammer in the game, and then the words "YOU WIN" appeared on the screen. Then the whole arcade game fell apart and breaks.

"No! NO! NOOOOOOO!" The Hammer yelled as he slowly disintegrated. Each and every one of his pixels broke apart and disappeared, until there was nothing left of him.

Veronica sighed, opened the door, and then stepped out of the damaged van. Patrick exited from the store, and he, his grandmother, Dipper, and Soos all gathered around together, cheering and celebrating their victory.

"Dude, you did it!" Dipper exclaimed with a big smile. "You actually beat the Hammer!"

"Yeah, I did!" Patrick grinned nice and big at him. He then turned to Veronica. "But how did you know that beating it in the game would work?"

"When you've lived spent a long time in Gravity Falls, you're bound to pick up a few things," Veronica said with a prideful smile.

Then they heard the sound of Robbie exiting from the arcade. Seeing this, Patrick figured that it was better to confront him. So, he left his friend and family to approach the emo, as Robbie stumbled out of the building. "What? Was-was-was that really the Hammer?!" He exclaimed, still freaking out about what just happened. "Why is it that whenever you're around, there's always ghosts or monsters, or whatever?!"

"Beats, me." Patrick shrugged. "At least you can say you beat the Hammer."

"Is that all you've got to say!? That guy almost broke my neck! You know how fucking mad I am right now?!"

"Hey guys!" The two of them were almost startled by the voice of Wendy. Robbie turned around to see the ginger walking to them with a backpack on, and her family about a meter behind looking at all the destruction. "I heard some crazy screaming back here."

"Wendy?" Patrick and Robbie said simultaneously. Equally shocked to see her.

"You're back early," Patrick asked.

"Yeah, man." It was a little weird that she didn't notice the how messed up his face was, but when she did, Wendy walked over to him and grabbed his face. "Whoa! Dude, what happened to your face? It's all jacked up," she asked with a surprising amount of concern that made Patrick blush. Wendy then looked at Robbie and glared. "Did you do this? Were you guys fighting each other? You know I hate it when guys fight."

"W-What? No!" Robbie took a step back and put up his hands, looking scared. "I-I-I was just…"

"A videogame character came to life and attack us," Patrick said, getting Wendy to look at him with a raised eyebrow, and for Robbie to look at him a little stunned. He knew that Robbie was in trouble if he didn't come up with an excuse soon, and as much as he despised him, Patrick knew that they'd end up losing Wendy together if it really did look like they were fighting. Plus, if there was one thing that Wendy hated and what made her break up with all her other boyfriends was that they'd lied to her. So, Patrick told the truth.

Also, he was too tired to handle any teenage drama.

Wendy stared at him for a moment. Normally she wouldn't believe that he said, but Patrick has been truthful with her for as long as she's known him. Plus, spending time with him showed her that weirder things have happened. "Cool!" she said with a smile. "It really makes me happy to see my two boys hanging out. I got some unpacking to do. I'll text you guys later." She turned to Robbie and kissed on the cheek, before looking at Patrick. "You still want to hang out sometime?"

"You know I do," Patrick said with a smile. Wendy and him fist-bumped, before she walked away towards her family. Once that was done, Patrick glanced at Robbie. "Did you hear that? She still wants to hang out with me!"

Robbie scowled at him. "She's still my girlfriend."

"Look, Robbie, you don't like me and I sure as hell don't like you, but if we stay at each other's throats, we're both gonna lose Wendy," Patrick told him. "We need to make a cold war pact."

"Okay. What's that?"

"We need to learn to hate each other, in silence."

"You mean like, what girls do," asked Robbie.

Patrick nodded. "Yeah, exactly! What girls do."

Robbie thought for a moment, before nodding. Patrick and Robbie then shook hands.

* * *

 **AN: And that was the tenth chapter of "Weirder Things". Now it's time to put the story on hiatus.**

 **As you've figured out, this was based heavily on the** _ **Regular Show**_ **episode "Rage Against the TV." The reason that I decided to go with this plot is because I love** _ **Regular Show**_ **, that was one of my favorite episodes, and I reference the series a lot in the story. However, I did it because if I followed the original story of "Fight Fighter", then it wouldn't make sense for Patrick to want someone like Rumble to protect him from Robbie or to freak out and be scared about fighting the easy-to-hate emo. Patrick isn't the type of person to run away from a fight, especially from someone like Robbie.**

 **And Patrick had a chance to really rip into Robbie for not being a good boyfriend. Now, the reason I had Patrick not let Robbie get in trouble with Wendy is because of what was explained, but also because I've got plans for later in the story. Where Wendy will start to see Patrick in a much different light and start to have different feelings for him, and start to see how much of a jerk Robbie is and start to regret her decision to go out with him.**

 **Now, one thing I've been trying to figure out is how to make the "Summerween" chapter scarier. What do I mean by this? Well, I do like just how creepy and terrifying the Summerween Trickster is, but it's still has that silliness to it with it being made from candy so that it was still kid friendly…in a sick, twisted way. But since this is a fanfic story, I'm wanting to know how to make him scarier. Do I do something else with him, like make him an actual demon, or do I us something completely different?**

 **If any of you have an idea, please tell me.**

 **Also, from now on, I'll be doing three chapters for each update. I'm not going to be starting on "Summerween", so now it's time to put the story on hiatus. I'll be moving on to "The Red Dragon Samurai."**

 **Thank you very much for reading. "Weirder Things" will return. Please be sure to Favorite and Follow if you like the story, and if you want me to keep writing this story, then please leave a REVIEW. I would really appreciate it if you do. If you any questions or discussions you'd have for me, then please PM me or write it out in the review.**

 **This has been your alchemist from the wild west saying; may God bless you, and farewell.**


	11. Summerween

**Draak D. Sol:** His powers aren't really like Pennywise, but the new Trickster does dress like a clown.

 **Omni warrior:** Thanks. That episode of _Regular Show_ was one of my favorites.

 **Gamelover41592:** Thank you, and it was no problem. Hope you enjoy this chapter.

 **LoamyCoffee:** I didn't really know you were thinking of something else, but I'm still glad you liked it. As for the Trickster, he's not going to be made from candy, but will be something much more dangerous.

 **coldblue2015:** Thanks for the review, and thank you for giving me the idea for the Trickster.

 **blazingpheonix123:** Thanks, and yeah, it took a lot of will power for me to not have Patrick kick the crap out of Robbie. Thanks for the suggestions for the Trickster and I hope you enjoy the chapter.

 **DeadStrike:** Thank you. Although the chapter isn't going to be like your suggestion, I do thank you for wanting to help.

 **MAJORMATT1234:** Thanks. I really didn't just want to have the chapters a repeat of the show and would rather make them different with some horror elements. I'll have Patrick do his adventures, but I'm not sure about cool magic powers, but I could be awesome. Hope you enjoy the chapter.

 **Chance Green G King:** Thanks, and if you what this chapter like the Demon in the Mattress, I think you'll like this.

 **Darkmaster10000000:** True, but I'm not going to. Sorry, but I'm going to keep Robbie around.

 **FrancisVamp0822:** I know what you mean, and I understand. Time travel is seriously complicated and when it really is a bummer when it makes all the character develop go out the window. And yeah, that's the plan with Wendy. I want for her to start to see that Robbie isn't the boyfriend she thought he was, so that when she breaks up with him, its more believable. All while seeing Patrick in a new light, so that when she becomes his girlfriend, she'll be sure that he's the right guy.

 **South Down:** Soon.

 **Dracus6:** Does Mabel really need a boyfriend? And even if I did give her one, what would that person be? And there's no Scooby Doo inspiration for this chapter. I honesty fell off Mystery Incorporated and hardly remember it.

 **Guest (Ill):** The Trickster's not going to be invisible, but I do hope that you enjoy the chapter.

 **Guest: (Matt):** It's okay, and the Trickster is not going to be made out of candy.

 **RedHood001:** Thanks, and I just love refencing _Regular Show_ in this show. Just for how strange it and _Gravity Falls_ is. And yeah, the Pines area magnate for the strange.

 **Guest (Bobby Jenkins):** It's not going to be like that, but I do like the thought of it.

 **Lazymanjones96:** Thank you and here's more.

 **:** Well, here's more!

 **Reaper4425:** Yes, he does, and he'll be using that laser more. Hope you like the chapter.

 **ericsofly2:** Well, here you go.

 **Guest (Spartan 108):** I'm not going to add in a dog for Patrick. I do love Courage, but I'm not going to be adding the character into the story.

 **Guest:** I don't watch MLP, but I've reworked the Trickster to be scarier.

 **Guest (SpOoOoKy GhOoOsT):** Hey's the next chapter for you. And takes for liking the story. I also love Patrick and Wendy being shipped.

 **The lightning that writes:** Why are you writing your review in all caps? I'm not really sure about what I'm going to with _Star vs. The Forces of Evil_ and I have not heard of _Dial_ _H for Hero_. I've been thinking that it could be a crossover with _Godzilla_ , with the OC being a human that has Godzilla's powers and soul in him. I'll work out the details, but what do you think?

* * *

 **The story which you are about to read is an account of the weirdness which befell a group of seven youths, in particular Patrick Pines and his cousins, Dipper and Mabel. It is all the weirder in that it was because they broke the very traditions of a holiday. Despite this, as they live very, very long lives, they could not have expected, nor would they have wished to see as much of the terrifying and insidious as they were to see that night. For them an idyllic summer holiday of joy became a nightmare.**

 **The events of that night were to lead to the discovery of one of the most bizarre evils in the annals of Gravity Falls history, the Summerween Trickster.**

* * *

Gravity Falls was always considered a humble, but strange town. It wasn't just the supernatural forces and creatures that were strange, but most of the people of the town were odd balls.

But now Patrick wondered if they got their calendars altered and mixed up. The teen was with his cousins, Soos, and Stan in the family car. Driving to a store that was doing a reopening after a year of being closed. But as they passed the neighborhoods, Patrick saw that the house had all their Halloween decorations out and displayed. However, strangely, instead of pumpkins with faces carved into them, there were watermelons.

What would you call those? Jack-o-Melons?

Their journey ended when Stan pulled into a handicap parking space. Going over the curve and crashing into the sign. The occupants stepped out of the car and Stan said, "Here we are, the Summerween Superstore!" In front of them was a small store with Halloween decoration set up and a sigh that said what it was.

"Wait, Summer-what?" Dipper asked with a confused look on his face.

Patrick wasn't getting it either, and asked, "Don't you mean Halloween?"

"Nope, I'm talking about Summerween," said Stan, pulling out a calendar from his suit. He pointed to that day before explaining. "The people of this town love Halloween so much, they celebrate it twice a year. And wouldn't you know it, it's today!"

"Do you always carry that calendar in your pocket?" Patrick asked with a mocking smirk.

Stan stood there with a pause. "…Yes."

"Summerween? Something about this feels unnatural," Mabel said with a raised eyebrow.

Soos then leaned down to the twins and teenager. "There's free candy!" he said to them. That really got the kids' interested.

* * *

"TO THE COSTUME AISLE!" Patrick, Dipper, and Mabel yelled, with the female twin wearing a Groucho glasses. The eldest one of the three pushing a wheelbarrow cart that the twins were in.

While it was understandable that Dipper and Mabel would be excited for Summerween, some may look at Patrick's excitement and think that he should grow up. But he didn't care. Halloween was one of his favorite holidays and even if he would've normally been handing out candy, this was going to be his first time Trick-or-Treating with his cousins, two people that he's only got to see only a few times in his life.

Plus, free candy!

As they were picking out their costumes, Soos was standing at one of the shelves in the store where they had a bunch of crackling skulls out for sale. Soos pressed one of them and it turned on with eyes glowing. " _I'd lend you a hand... but I don't seem to have any!_ " It then crackled after telling the corny joke.

Soos, however, found in funny and laughed. "Haha, this guy tells it like it is."

Then a woman that worked at the store called to him with an annoyed look on her face. "Sir, could you please stop pushing that?"

"Ma'am, make these heads less hilarious, and you got yourself a deal," the man-child said before pressing skull. As the decoration crackled, the store worker groaned.

Meanwhile, Stan picked up a big barrel of fake blood. "Ha ha! When the children come to my door tonight, they're gonna run away screaming from Stan Pines, Master of Fright!" He proclaimed, as a baby strapped to a mother's back looked at him. Stan noticed the baby and turned around to scare it. "Boo."

This made the baby cry and the young woman turn towards the commotion. Soos was continuing to press the skulls, while Patrick, Dipper and Mabel knocked over a pile of jack-o'-melons. Stan was holding the container of fake blood only to see that it was leaking.

The store worker grabbed a walkie talkie. "Have the police come and eject the Pines family from the store," she said into it.

"NOT TODAY!" Stan yelled and tossed down a smoke bomb.

Blinded by the smoke and bright flash from it, the worker screamed, "MY EYES!" This gave the Pines and Soos an opening to run out of the store with some Summerween stuff.

As Patrick pushed his cousins in the wheelbarrow, he looked to Stan and asked, "You paid for this stuff, right?"

"Of course!"

But that was a lie. The store worker looked at what Stan used to pay for the Summerween stuff. It's just a wrinkled index card with a crude estimation of a normal dollar bill. A border with the number fifty written in each corner and "Grunkle Stan" written in the bottom center surrounding a crudely drawn picture of Stan himself with a speech balloon coming from it, declaring: "It's Money!" Above this caricature were three dollar signs; to the left of them is the word "STAN," while to the right of them is the word "BUCKS."

This was what Stan called a Stan Buck.

"I hate Summerween," the worker groaned.

Outside, Stan drove the car into an inflatable Summerween decoration, which deflated. "Let's move!" He yelled and the car switched direction and drove away.

 **{Play** _ **Halloween**_ **theme by John Carpenter}**

But when it drove down the road, past someone that was walking on the side of the road. The figure stopped when the car pasted them. When the car was further down the road, the person walked out onto the street and faced the direction it was heading. Although the person's appearance isn't shown, they are seen carrying a large burlap sack in their right hand. However, if you looked at the hand and the sack, you can see that the pinky finger of the tattered glove was cut away.

There was no flesh on the naked finger. Just bone.

And sticking out of the sack was a person's arm. A growl was heard from the shack, before the bloodied, severed arm was pulled into the sack.

The music continues into the intro.

* * *

 _At the beginning of the intro, there is nothing but blackness._

 _Then about three seconds later, a bunch photographs started falling from above in slow motion._

 _Getting a closer look at one of the photographs, while others twirled and spun in the background in slow motion, shows the town of Gravity Falls from a distance._

 _Another picture shows the Mystery Shack during the night time, with bright lights shining thought the windows._

 _One photo shows a thundering sky that had a large, flying creature's shadow being seen through the dark clouds. The camera then focuses on a picture behind the previous one, showing large claw marks on a tree trunk, as more photos were seen falling._

 _Three photos are focused on now, one showing an angry Gnome, the second showing something that resembles the Long Ness Monster, and the third show a dinosaur tooth trapped in amber._

 _The camera shows the cluster of photographs continuing to fall, before angling downwards to show all of them lying on a flat surface, collecting in a pile._

 _The camera then gradually moves back to show more of the photos landing. After the last of the photos were on the surface, the camera moves upwards, displaying nothing but blackness again._

 _Then the title of the story appeared in a flash of light._

 _ **WEIRDER THINGS**_

 _It then disappeared, before the chapter title appeared._

 **Chapter Eleven**

 **Summerween**

* * *

 **{End music}**

As night began to arrive in Gravity the Mystery Shack was all decorated for Summerween. Inside the house, Patrick walked into the living room with his costume on, dressed up as Ash Williams from _The Evil Dead_. Without his boonie hat, he was wearing a blue long-sleeved shirt, black pants and shoes, a shotgun holster on his back and with the laser shotgun he got from the future tucked in it. He didn't have time to get a fake chainsaw that he could use for Ash's chainsaw hand. He also splashed some of the fake blood on his face and body.

"Groovy," he said, mimicking the character he's dressed as.

Dipper and Mabel were in the living room with Soos, who was sitting on the chair with a bowl of candy and dressed as a superhero. They turn to look at Patrick and were sudden and amazed by the costume he was able to make in just a few hours.

"Wow! That's awesome!" Mabel exclaimed with a grin.

"Thanks," Patrick said with a smile and sat down next to them on the floor. "So, you guys ready to get out there?"

"Yeah, we are," Dipper said. "We're gonna have the best costumes, get the most candy..."

"And have the biggest stomach aches ever!" Mabel yelled.

"Yeah, boy!" Patrick cheered.

Soos then said, "Dude, I've never seen you guys so pumped. Especially you, Patrick."

"Halloween's been my favorite holiday for years," Patrick said, standing up. "While most teenagers are out and partying, I've always liked to just go out and trick-or-treat. Plus, this is going to be my first time doing it with Dipper and Mabel."

"Well then it's going to be a good time, because back at home, me and Dipper were kind of the kings of trick-or-treating." Mabel said, as Dipper handled their cousin a memory book. Patrick opened it and saw it had photos of them in all their costumes over the years. "Twins in costumes, the people eat it up."

"Well, you dudes better be careful out there," Soos said, pointing a warning finger at them. "It's a night of ghouls and goblins. Not to mention..." He turned off the lights and shined a flashlight in his face in a dramatic story telling way. "The Summerween Trickster!"

Thunder was heard crackling from outside, getting their attention.

The sounds of footsteps were heard, walking into the room was Veronica, wearing only a witch hat. "Which one of you was talking about the Summerween Trickster?" Once again, thunder was heard, with the flash of lightning.

"Wait, you know what he's talking about," asked Patrick, raising an eyebrow.

"That I do," the elderly woman said, as Soos shined the light under her face. Which she appreciated. "The Trickster is what you can say is the spirit of also Summerween. He usually is dressed as a trick-or-treater that goes door to door, so the legend goes, being an impassive observer and doing his part for both holidays. However, if you break or don't respect the traditions of Halloween, he'll punish you for it."

"Well, you don't have to worry about us," Dipper said, eating a piece of candy. "We've got spirit to go around." He suddenly started coughing, and Veronica turned back on the lights as Patrick patted Dipper on the back. After regaining his breath, "Ugh! What is this stuff? I've never even heard of these brands. Sand Pop? Gummy chairs? Mr. Adequate-Bar?"

"This is all cheap-o loser candy!" Mabel exclaimed.

Veronica sighed and shook her head in disappointment. "Why am I not surprised Stan would do this?"

"Quiet your discontent, children, lest the Trickster overhear," Soos said, after grabbing a lip gummy.

"Your cape is caught in your fly, Soos," Patrick said, as Dipper walked over to the window.

"Touché..." Soos and ate the gummy.

At the window and standing on the chair, Dipper started throwing out the candy in the trash. "Goodbye loser candy!" However, as he was doing that, someone was watching the candy being throughout. Their breathing was heavy.

Then the doorbell rang. "Trick-or-treaters." Stan said. "Quick! Give'em that terrible candy."

Patrick walked over and grabbed the bowl of candy from Dipper. Taking it over to the door, he opened it and said, "Happy Summerw—oh!" He was surprised to see Wendy and Robbie standing at the door. Robbie was wearing a skeleton sweater and Wendy had on a yellow and purple dress.

"'Sup, dork," Robbie saw with an uninterested look.

"Hey Patrick," Wendy said with a smile, before looking even more impressed by his outfit. "Cool costume! _Evil Dead_ , right?"

"You know it, girl," Patrick said with a grin. They high-fived, before held up the candy bowl. "You two want some candy? It is Summerween."

"No, I left my jacket here. Again." Once she said that, Patrick looked to his left immediately and saw her jacket hanging on the coat hanger. Just where she always hangs it and forgets to get it from. Patrick grabbed it and hand it to her.

"So, what's with the candy and costume," Robbie asked, already starting to mock Patrick. "You're goin' trick-or-treating or something?"

"Shut up, Robbie, of course he's not going trick-or-treating," said the ginger, slipping on her jacket.

"Well, actually, I am," Patrick said.

This surprised both Robbie and Wendy. The emo then laughed. "Seriously, dude? Trick-or-treating is for babies," he said with a sneer. However, unbeknownst to them was that Dipper was listening in on the conversation. When he heard about what Robbie said about trick-or-treating. He looked down for a moment, before retreating into the living room.

"Right, like you have any better ideas for tonight," Patrick said with a scowl.

That's when Wendy got an idea. "I know! You should come to this party with us," she said with a smile. "Tambry's parents are out of town, and it's gonna be OFF THE CHAIN."

Robbie pulled out a flyer for the party from his pocket. "Not surprised you didn't hear about it," he said, before handing Patrick the flyer. It was orange with the time that said it was going to start at 9:00.

"I don't know. I just not really a party person," Patrick said with a shrug.

"Please? It'll be really cool if you make it," Wendy pledged with a hopeful smile.

Robbie rounded his eyes. "If you're not too busy playing dress up." That got him an elbow to the rib.

Patrick laughed and then said, "I'll think about it. If I can get done trick-or-treating with Dipper and Mabel before 9:00, I'll come over and hang out."

"Great!" Wendy said with a bright smile, while Robbie looked jealous. "See you then." She and Robbie turned around and walked back to Robbie's van. Patrick was about to walk back into the house, but stop when a wolf howled in the distance. He looked in the direction it came from before catching a glimpse of someone stepping behind a tree out of sight.

He looked at the tree, but when nothing happened, Patrick walked back into the house.

* * *

"Patrick, these are my best friends, Candy and Grenda," Mabel asked as she formally introduced Patrick to Candy and Grenda, who were dressed as a taffy and a witch respectively, in the lobby. Unlike her cousin's hardcore horror costume, Mabel was dressed as strawberry jelly. The twin's theme for this year was strawberry and peanut.

"I am so sweet I could eat myself," said Candy.

"Hello, Patrick!" said Grenda with a wave.

Patrick was taken aback by her very deep voice, but got over it and said, "So you already for a night of tricking and treating?"

"I've brought the toilet paper," Grenda said, pulling out a roll of toilet paper. It's Summerween, and that meant those that didn't give them candy were getting their house teepee!

Candy then asked Mabel, "Is Waddles coming with us?"

"I wish he could," Mabel said, before holding in a giggle, "but he has some very important meetings to attend!" On cue, Waddles walked into the lobby with a suit attacked to his chest. He ran up to Mabel, and she picked him up. "File these documents under 'I', for 'I have a curly tail'!"

The girls laughed, while Patrick chuckled. He really did love his cousins. They always knew how to lighten the mood. Patrick then turned to the stairs and yelled, "We're waiting on you, Dip!"

"Oh man guys, just wait until you see Dipper's costume!" Mabel exclaimed with excitement, after setting Waddles down. "It's amazing! Here he comes now!" They all turned to the stars and waited for Dipper to come down, after hearing his footsteps.

But when Dipper walked down the stairs, he wasn't in costume. He was instead dressed normally.

Patrick looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "You're…going as yourself?"

"That is a very good Dipper costume," said Candy.

Mabel, however, was a little upset and confused, so she walked up to him. "What the hey-hey bro-bro, where's your costume?"

"Look, I can't go trick-or-treating. I'm... uh, _really_ sick," said the male twin, putting his hands on his stomach. Dipper then leaned on the stair railing and started to do some really fake coughs. "Must have been that bad candy." Patrick didn't look at too sympathetic as Dipper fell on the floor. "Go on without me."

"Fight through it, man!" Mabel commanded. "Where's your Summerween spirit?" That was then followed by someone knocking on the door. Dipper opened the down and looked at the person that knocked.

That person was a seemingly innocent young boy trick-or-treater dressed in a tattered clown outfit with its colors fading, with yellow patches sewn on the front, and tattered white gloves. The boy's head seemed to be covered by a simple pumpkin mask with glowing eyes and a grin, and with a witch hat on top at a crooked angle. The boy held up his sack of candy for Dipper to put candy in and said in an innocent voice, "Trick-or-tear."

However, Dipper wasn't going to be doing the Summerween tradition. "Sorry, dude. But we're not giving out candy. Sorry."

"But wait, I —" Dipper didn't give him the chance and slammed the door shut.

Mabel looked at her twin with an upset look. "Why'd you close the door?"

"I told you, Mabel, I'm just not feeling it tonight," Dipper lied and fake coughed.

"Yeah, that's really sounded like you're dying," Patrick said with a roll of his eyes.

"I think a little trick-or-treating will make you feel better," Mabel said.

"I'm not trick-or-treating!" Dipper exclaimed, before the boy outside banged on the door again. He opened the door and glared at the boy. "Look man, just go to another house!" Dipper then slammed the door again.

"Dipper! What the hell's gotten into you?" Patrick demanded, getting really tired of his bad attitude. The boy outside knocked on the door again, only this time sounding much more angry.

"I'm not getting that."

"Then get out of my way!" Patrick pushed Dipper aside and opened the door. He smiled at the boy with the bowl of candy in his hands. "I apologize for my cousin; he's just being a pain. So, let get you some—"

"SILENCE!" Patrick was suddenly grabbed by the neck by a long demonic black hand. As he was being choked, Patrick was lifted off his feet while the others inside watched in shock and terror. That arm came from inside the shack, which was glowing orange. "It's too late for apologies. You are going to pay for insulting me…" said the boy, but now that was called into question when his voice towards into a deeper, more sinister one, and the mouth of the pumpkin head mouthed as he talked. That face changed to an eviler looking face with a wide, jagged teeth grin that spread on his face. "...with your LIVES."

More long arm came out of the sack, grabbing each of the kids by their necks and holding them up into the air. The trick-or-treater walked into the house. "Who-Who are you?" Mabel asked, struggling to get the words out.

"I'm the Summerween Trickster."

Thunder and lightning were heard from outside.

Dipper looked at him with wide eyes. "Y-You're r-real?"

"Yes, and on this night, when Hallows' Even repeats itself in Gravity Fall, and all must follow the traditions of the holiday, you have nothing to give!"

"I-I'm sick," Dipper said, struggling to breath, just like everyone else.

The arm holding him brought him close to the face of the Trickster. "You're not sick," the creature said with a grin still on his face. "Because you don't respect this day, you must _suffer_ the consequences!"

Patrick's eyes widened and he tried to pull the strong fingers around his neck off. "Wait, please. Just give us a chance to make it up to you," he pleaded. Then he was brought over to the face of the Trickster.

The Trickster put a hand on his chin and started to think for a moment. When he came to a conclusion, his evil grin slowly returned to his face. "Alright, I'll give you a chance," he said, dropping him and everyone on the ground. As they coughed and took deep breathes, the black arms retreated back into the sack. However, the last one brought over a jack-o-melon, and the Trickster grabbed it and balanced it on his finger. "You have until the last jack-o-melon goes out in Gravity Falls to collect 500 pieces of candy and bring it to me. If you can, I will let you live." He blew out the fire in the melon. "But if you can't…"

The black hand came back out and crushed the jack-o-melon in its grip. Sending the message clear to the kids.

"Five hundred treats in one night? That's impossible!" Dipper shouted.

"The choice is yours." The Trickster walked backwards, stepping onto the porch with his grin still on his face. "Tonight, you either trick-or-treater…" as he said the next part, green saliva was dripping from his mouth. "…or _die._ "

Two arms from the sack shot out and pulled the demon up. As the group ran outside to watch the Trickster, two more arms came out. Patrick and the kids stared in terror as the Trickster laughed while being carried by his sack. With the four arms, he crawled across the Shack's roof and out of sight on the other side.

"Oh my God Mabel, do you realize what this means," Dipper said in fear.

"I do." First, it looked like Mabel truly understood the situation that they were in. However, she then smiled and exclaimed with joy. "It means you have to come trick-or-treating! Yay!"

Just then, Wendy came running towards the Mystery Shack. Out of breath from running towards the Shack, she stopped and put her hands on her knees to catch her breath. "I can't…believe…I keep…forgetting thing…" she complained to herself in between pants. Wendy then looked up, she saw Patrick and the other outside with looks of shock and fear. Worried about him, she walked on over.

"Who was that guy," asked Candy.

"It's the legend Soos told us about. He's real!" Patrick said in fear.

Grenda grabbed Dipper and started shaking him frantically. "What do we do what do we DO!"

"What's goin' on out here, dudes," asked Wendy when she came over.

"Wendy!" Patrick exclaimed, and ran up to her. "The Summerween Trickster's real, is making us trick-or-treat or else he's gonna kill us!" Thunder and lightning boomed in the sky.

"I got a picture!" Candy pulled out her phone and showed Wendy the picture she took; the picture has a pink and fluffy outline, stickers, and a Korean word.

"The Summerween Trickster?" Wendy looked skeptical at the kids and Patrick. Thunder and lightning boomed in the sky. "Dude, the Trickster's a myth. Something that some guy like Soos came up with long ago to scare off kids."

"I'm not lying to you, Wendy," Patrick said before showing her the grip marks on his neck, which made her flinch at the sight of them. "The Trickster attacked us and is going to eat us unless we get five hundred pieces of candy."

"How are we gonna get that much candy in one night," asked an anxious Dipper. "There's no way!"

Standing on a crate, Mabel clapped her hands, and everyone came up to her. "Listen up, people," Mabel started. "Now some might say that being cursed by a blood-thirsty holiday monster is a bad thing."

"I wet myself," Grenda said.

"But that monster messed with the wrong crew. With Candy's spirit, Grenda's strength, Dipper's brains, Wendy's coolness, and Patrick's courage, we'll get 500 pieces of candy and have fun doing it too, even if it takes all night!"

They all cheered together.

"Alright then, I guess I'm a part of this adventure, huh?" Wendy asked, but didn't look all that against the idea.

"I'm really sorry for dragging you into Wendy…" Patrick was stopped by Wendy putting a finger on his lips.

"It's fine. In fact, I think there's something that could help." That got the others to face her. "I remember one day messing around in the library one day and remembered looking at a book that talked about the Summerween Trickster." Thunder and lightning boomed in the sky.

"How does that keep happening," asked Candy, looking up at the sky.

"Find the book and whatever you can about the Trickster. We'll focus on staying alive," Patrick said. The group of trick-or-treaters broke off from Wendy and ran over towards the streets of Gravity Falls.

Wendy ran to the Mystery Cart and jumped in. She had to get the library quickly. Starting the engine, she slammed on the ignition drove to her destination.

* * *

When Wendy arrived at the Summerween decorated library, she jumped out of the cart and ran up the stairs. Grabbing the handles of the doors, she tried to pull them open, but they were locked. "Damnit! Come on!" the redhead yelled in frustration.

She took a deep breath and calmed her nerves. "Okay, Wendy, thing. How do you get into a locked building," Wendy asked herself and though for a moment. She then remembered the Dust 2 Dawn adventure and the Windmill Vandals. Wendy also remembered how Patrick used the roof to get into the convenience store.

Walking around the library to the right side of it, she saw a ladder that led up to the roof.

"What would Patrick do?" Wendy smiled and placed her fists on her hips.

* * *

All around the streets of Gravity falls, the children and adults alike were out trick-or-treating. All of them were dressed in their own customs. Manly Dan and his sons were dressed as Vikings and smashing through the door of a house with a battering ram. The people inside screamed in fear. Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland were dressed as their opponents. And then there were the Pines and their friends, with Dipper rolling the wheelbarrow for their candy. Patrick had grabbed a jack-o-melon and placed it in the cart. The Trickster said to get the candy before the last melon gone out, so if the town blows out theirs, they'll still have one more to extend their time.

"I don't understand why we can't just buy our candy and be done with it," Dipper said.

"That sorta takes the fun out of trick-or-treat-or-die," said Mabel.

"We're trying to take the DIE out of trick-or-treat-or-die," Patrick said as they walked up to their first house; the house of Lazy Susan. The woman was standing outside of her door and handing candy to another group of trick-or-treaters. She was dressed as a ball of string, with two cats with their faces painted white hanging off her.

When the Mystery Crew came up to her house, they all said, "Trick-or-Treat!"

"Is everyone in costume?" Asked the bizarre woman. Susan first pointed at Grenda. "Chimney sweep." She pointed to Patrick. "Ice cream man." Patrick looked at her in confusion as Susan pointed at Candy. "Squeegee." She pointed at Mabel. "Ant farm!" When she came to Dipper, who looked uninterested, Susan then said, "Oh, and what are you supposed to be?"

"As a sad little boy," Patrick said.

"Uh, actually, I'm not dressed up as anything," Dipper corrected his cousin's statement. "We're, we're kinda in a hurry, here."

But he should have gone with what Patrick said, as Lazy Susan looked upset. "Oh. I see," she said and gave everyone except Dipper one piece of candy. "Enjoy!" And then she slammed the door on them.

All of them stood there on the porch for a moment, before glaring at Dipper. "Way to go, Dipper," said Patrick, accusingly.

"What? What did I do?" Dipper asked as they walked onto the sidewalk to look at their treats.

"One piece of black licorice?" Grenda held up the candy.

Candy pulled out her treat in disappointment. "Circus peanut! This is loser candy."

"Four pieces of candy?!" Dipper exclaimed in shock. "This is gonna take forever!"

"We've gotta up our game, Dipper," Mabel said, pointing a finger at him. "You gotta put on your costume."

"I told you, I'm not up to it, Mabel!" Dipper tried to push that narrative with a fake cough.

"Oh, really?" The group heard a familiar, terror voice. Turning around, they saw the Summerween Trickster sitting on top of a street lamp. "You're still trying to use that old line," the Trickster asked Dipper. Using a served, bloodied arm to point at the boy.

When the group saw the arm, they were horrified at the sight of it. Knowing that it wasn't fake.

"Oh, where'd you get that," Patrick asked nervously.

The entity dropped down to the ground right in front of them, frightening the kids and making them step back. "It was just another kid," said the Trickster, using the hand of the arm to touch Dipper's cheek and have him look straight at him. "Just like you he felt like he was getting too old for trick-or-treating and when he started to talk able how he hated Halloween and taking down the decorations…well he was warned."

The Trickster took a bite out of the arm, sickening and terrifying the kids even more. He then put the arm into his sack and walked away. Grabbing a jack-o-melon from a house's yard and turning around to face the kids.

"You should be grateful. I didn't give him a chance." He blew out the light in the fruit and the arms from the sack carried him over another house.

As they stood there in horror, the group then looked to Dipper with scowls. "Still feeling too old to trick-or-treat," asked Patrick. Dipper sighed and kicked a rock.

* * *

Afterwards, Dipper finally got his act together and agreed to put on the costume to survive the Trickster. "Introducing, for the first time in public..." Mabel said to the group, before Dipper came walking out in his costume, a jar of peanut butter. "TADAH! Peanut Butter and Jelly!"

"Awwwww!" Patrick, Grenda, and Candy cooed.

"Don't you look adorable," said the teenager with a smirk.

Candy then took out her phone. "I will make you internet famous,"  
said the little Asian girl, before taking a picture.

"Hey! Erase that!" Dipper protested.

"Alright, let's get this over with," Patrick said, and the group head on over to their next house. As he followed, Patrick pulled out his phone and called Wendy. "Hey, Wendy. You found anything yet?"

* * *

"No, and I'm sure I'm looking in the right place," Wendy said into the phone, looking through the shelves with a fire lantern shining light. "All of it is just these kids' books about the Trickster." She stopped when she saw a more familiar book. Taking it off the shelve, Wendy said that it was a book bond in leather, and when she opened it, saw it was written and illustrated in red ink. "Yes! Found it!"

" _How do you know about that book?"_ Patrick asked on the phone.

"Eh, I used to date this guy."

* * *

"Do I even want to know about the rest," Patrick asked as the group came up to their next house. And shadier looking one. He was standing back with Candy and Grenda, as Mable and Dipper walked up to the house to ring the doorbell. "Anyways, we're about to trying out the twin's strategy to get us more candy."

" _You sure it's going to work?"_ Wendy asked. Patrick looked to the twins as the person inside opened the door. That person was the very same biker that Mabel met at the Skull Fracture. The biker looked down at the twins with a grunt and a bowl of candy in his hand.

Dipper and Mabel then started dancing. "Hat a ta tah, Tah tah ta... TWIIIIINS!"

All was silent as the biker stared at them. Fearing that it wasn't going to work, the man suddenly smiled and teared up. He then dumped the entire candy bowl in the kids' bag. Mabel and Dipper smile as they ran off. As he watched the kids run off, the biker's beautiful wife came up to him and hugged his arms. Giving him a loving kiss on the cheek.

"I think we're going to be just fine," Patrick told Wendy, before he, Candy and Grenda followed the twins to get more candy.

And so, began a race against the clock to get all 500 pieces of candy. Each time they got candy from trick-or-treating, they dumped it all into the wheelbarrow as Patrick pushed it. Making sure to count each piece and keep a record of them. Although, Candy would make it a joke by sitting in the candy and include herself. Because her name is "Candy". As for getting the most candy, the twins would use their cuteness. Resulting in the people just dumping all the candy in their bowls. When they reach about into the 100s, people were starting to blow out jack-o-melons and call it a night. The group had to work faster. And they did so, nearly drying the houses of their candy.

* * *

Meanwhile, at the library, Wendy was looking through the book that should have the information she was looking for. Like she told Patrick, she knew about this book because Wendy remembered it was something that one of her exes were into. Monsters, ghosts, and the occult, he loved it all and would get really creep with it. That's why she dumped him.

Flipping through the pages, she raised an eyebrow or cringed at the sight of some of the things in the book. It was like looking at Dipper's journal, but with more demonic stuff. "Not it," she said with a bored look. Then turned the page. "Not it." She turned the page. "Not—wait!" Wendy exclaimed, and pulled the book closer to herself. There it was. The Summer Trickster's chapter. It had the image of the Trickster in a crude drawing.

Feeling uneased by it, Wendy swallowed a gulp and read the page:

 _Long ago, there was a troubled boy who loved Halloween. He loved it so much that he would impatiently wait every year for it to come again. One night, when his parents were not home, the boy decided to celebrate Halloween again in the summer. Dressing in his best custom, he went trick-or-treating, but when the people didn't give him candy and told him to go home, the trouble boy got mad. He started to use harmful pranks as his 'tricks', before the town had enough, and chased him away._

 _Still mad, the boy stole a book of magic, not knowing that it was filled with dark powers. He then summoned a demon, who lied to the boy that he was actually a magical being that could grant him any wish. The boy wished for Halloween to come twice a year. The demon argued, but then suddenly attacked the boy, possessing his body and taking over. Killing the troubled boy's soul and using it as its own body._

 _Bond by the deal that was made, the demon would appear the next day, and tricked the town into celebrating Halloween for a second time of the year. Summerween was created, and the demon would only appear on this holiday. Earning him a new name; the Summerween Trickster!_

Taken out of the frightening story, Wendy was startled by the sound of thunder and lightning outside. When she calmed down, Wendy looked at the book with wide eyes. "This is crazy." She whispered, before closing the book and picked it up. "I've got to find Patrick."

After picking the lock of the door, Wendy kicked the doors open and ran down towards the cart. However, when she got down the stairs and was about to jump into the car, the ginger felt something was off. Like something was looking at her.

She looked behind the seat and the cart, but didn't see anything.

Wendy shook her head to clear it and started the cart. Wendy quickly drove away towards the neighborhood of Gravity Falls.

Unbeknownst to her, Wendy was being watched. Up on the roof of the library, the Trickster watched her with his glowing grin.

* * *

Patrick rang the doorbell of Toby Determine's office/house. And when the man opened the door and stepped out into the night. "Hello."

The sight of the man's ugly face made the group scream in freight. "What a horrible mask!" Mabel yelled, pointing at Toby.

"That's just my face."Toby said with a sad face. He then grabbed a monster mask and put it on. " _This_ is a mask. Roar!"

The kids looked at it and started talking to each other in agreement. Now seeing what Toby was talking about. However, they also said that the mask was actually better than his real face. This just made Toby in distress.

After he gave them candy, Patrick rolled the wheelbarrow to the sidewalk. "There's only a few more houses to go!" He exclaimed with a grin. "We can get this done if we split up!"

"We're almost there, guys! Mabel said, before turning and running off. "Let's go!" Dipper, Candy, and Grenda followed after her.

Patrick was about to go too, but then Robbie's van pulled out of a corner street and drove down in the direction of the Pines teenager. Patrick stared at the vehicle as it pulled up next to him. The window facing Patrick rolled down and Robbie looked at him with a scowl. "Hey, loser. Where's Wendy? I haven't seen her in hours after she ran back to your house."

"She's not with us at the moment. She's at the library," Patrick answered honestly.

Robbie turned off the car and got out. "Why would she be there?" He questioned Patrick. "The party isn't there."

"We're kind of in the middle of something important," Patrick said with a frown, before he heard another vehicle coming towards them. The two boys looked at Wendy as the ginger parked the golf cart and ran over to them.

"Patrick!" She called to him.

"Wendy?" Both Patrick and Robbie asked with wide eyes.

When she approached him with the book from the library, Patrick asked, "What's going on?"

"I've found out about the Trickster. Where are the others?" She asked with a voice of urgency. "We've got to find them!"

"They went off to go trick-or-treat at the last few houses," Patrick told her, now starting to feel worried about what she found. "What—" Wendy didn't give him a chance to respond and grabbed his hand.

"What's going on Wendy—Wendy?!" Robbie exclaimed when his girlfriend pulled Patrick's arm as they started running after the Pines twins and Mabel's friends. "What about the party?!"

There was no response, and Robbie was left all alone on the streets. He growled in anger and kicked a pebble across the ground.

"Girl trouble?" Robbie was startled and when he turned around towards the voice, he saw the Trickster standing a few feet away. But to Robbie, he was just another kid out trick-or-treating.

He scoffed at the Trickster and crossed his arms. "And how would you know about my problems you…" Robbie's insult was brought to a pause and looked closely at the Trickster's form. "What are you supposed to be?"

"That's not really important," said the Trickster, walking over to the teenager. "But it seems to me like you're not really having a good night."

"Well, yeah! I don't know why she keeps wanting to hang out with Patrick!" Robbie complained. For the Trickster, this was too perfect. A jealous teenager with his girlfriend off with his rival, and his new victims' wheelbarrow was right next to them.

"Sounds to me like you could use a treat," said the demon, gesturing with his arm at the wheelbarrow filled with candy. "He's taking something from you. So why not take something from him?"

Robbie looked at the Trickster with a raised eyebrow. He really wanted to get back at Patrick for stealing his girlfriend, but he knew that if he took the whole thing, Wendy would know that it was him. So, he just grabbed a lollipop by its stick and held it up. "I like the way you think, kid," he said with a sneer. "Happy Summerween."

The Trickster watched as Robbie got back into his car and drove away. He was feeling very disappointed in that he only took one piece of candy. However, this could still play into his favor.

The children he was hunting were looking for 500 hundred pieces of candy. But if they had one piece…well, he'll get what he wanted.

The Trickster then heard the sound of talking coming his way and looked up to see the children walking towards their wheelbarrow of candy, including that girl from the library.

Leaving the jack-o-melon lit for them to summon him, he disappeared into the darkness.

* * *

They had done it. In just one night, Patrick and the kids have collected exactly 500 pieces of candy. But their troubles weren't over. After moving to be in front of the junkyard, the group listened as Wendy explained what the Trickster actually was.

"He's a demon?" Candy and Grenda asked in terror, holding each other in a hug.

"That explains all of the things he's able to do," Dipper said, pacing around with a hand on his chin. He then pulled out the journal. "There's got to be something in here about dealing with demons."

"So, what are we going to do now," asked Mabel.

Patrick thought for a moment, before turning to Wendy and picking up the jack-o-melon from the wheelbarrow. "Wendy, I want you to get out of here. We'll handle the Trickster," he told her.

Wendy was a shocked at this. "And just leave you guys? I don't think so," she said with a determined glare.

"I'm serious!" Patrick exclaimed, arguing with her. "We've never faced anything like this before, and I'm not going to let you get hurt if this doesn't go well."

"No way, man. I may be lazy and unreliable at work, but I'm not going to turn away from this," Wendy proclaimed. "Not when my friends are in danger!"

Patrick stared at her as she glared at him. He didn't expect this from her at all. When her friends turned on him at the Dust 2 Dawn, she sided with them. Then, when the Mystery Shack had its party, Wendy made a promise to him so that she could party too. But not this time. Patrick could tell that she was really willing to stay with him and the kids.

He sighed and turned towards the jack-o-melon in his hands. The jack-o-melons in front of all the houses had gone out. No lights from the houses were on. Only the street lights were on, and not even they could fully illuminate the streets.

"Here goes nothing." And with that, Patrick below out the candle.

First, there was silence.

Then, the Summerween Trickster came walking up towards them. Coming into view as he walked underneath the street light in front of the group of kids. He stopped and lifted his head, showing his glowing eyes. "Trick-or-treat," he said, and Patrick dropped the jack-o-melon on the ground. Making it smash into pieces.

"So, you weren't bluffing," he said.

"I never go back on a deal," the Trickster said, walking forward and dragging his sack on the ground. He then stopped a few feet away from them, as the kids glared at the demon. "So, children. Where's my candy?"

Patrick went around to the back of the wheelbarrow and grabbed the handles, before bringing it over to the front of the Trickster. "It's all here. Just like we promised," he said with a narrow glare.

There was a silence in the air, as Patrick walked back to join the others. The Trickster looked to Wendy, who stared with the same glare with her arms crossed. "So, I'm guessing that you know the truth," he said, looking to Patrick, his cousins, and Mabel's friends.

"You mean the fact that you're not really a spirit of Summerween, but a demon?" Mabel pointed accusingly at the demon, before crossing her arms. "Yeah, we're aware."

"You're nothing more than a demon that tricked a boy," Dipper said, before another thought entered his head. "Wait, are you still possessing his body?"

The Trickster smiled and held up his hand. "I am. However, it…" he took off the glove of his clown costume and the kids gasped in horror. The hand was reduced to nothing more than bones, with only a few pieces of rotting human flesh. It didn't look like it was eaten, but instead looked like it was decaying. "…hasn't aged well. But it's to be expected when you possess a body that isn't yours. Now then."

From the sack, the demonic black arms came out reaching out. Moving to the wheelbarrow, they grabbed handfuls of the treats and pulled them into the sack. And with each hand that was pulled back into it, another arm would reach out and grab more candy.

"I must say that, I'm impressed that you managed to pull this off," the Trickster said to the group with his sinister grin. "I honestly didn't think that you would—" his sentence came to an abrupt stop when one of the black hands reached into the wheelbarrow and felt around it. There was no more candy.

First, Patrick and the others thought that it was all over, but when the Trickster paused like that, it raised concerns. And those concerns turned to fear when the Trickster started to cackle menacingly. "What are you laughing about," asked Patrick.

"I'm afraid that you fail."

"What?!"

"I told you to bring me five hundred pieces of candy, but there's only 499 pieces!"

The kids gasped in shock. "But that can't be!" Candy exclaimed fearfully.

"I swear, we had all 500 pieces. We counted it all ourselves! We couldn't have miscounted!" Dipper said in a pleading tone, as Mabel and her friends nodded while holding each other.

However, the Trickster held his sack out in front of him, and four arms came reaching out from it. "I'm afraid it's too late!" He said with his grin growing bigger than before, and those arms from the sack came down. Making the ground rumble as they slammed their palms on it. "Your time is up, and now it is time for you to pay—"

Patrick quickly pulled out his laser shotgun and blew the right side of the Trickster's head off. Pumpkin bits and the witch hat flew everywhere as the shocked demon stumbled back. The arms tried to grab at Patrick, but before they could he fired the future weapon again. This time hitting the Trickster in the chest and making a hole in his chest, as bone fragments blew out the back. Patrick fire a third time and it destroyed the arm that was holding onto the sack, making it drop to the ground. The Trickster didn't make any sounds of pain, before the eyes stopped glowing and the body collapsed to the ground. The old bones of the boy that was possessed broke apart, and then shattered.

The group looked at the dead body and the arms from the sack that were just lying there on the ground. "Well, that was easy," said Mabel.

"Come on, let's get out of here." Patrick said, before they exited out of the judge yard and walked towards the Mystery Cart. Wendy got into the driver's seat while Dipper and Mabel sat next to her. Candy and Grenda sat in the back seats, but before Patrick could hop on with them a strong gust of wind blew from behind him.

He turned around and looked. And what he saw made his eyes widen with terror. "Uh, guys?"

The arms that came from the sack were moving again. Four more arms came out, and grabbed the ground. And then crawling out of the small sack came a tall and thin, black-purple humanoid creature with elongated limbs. Along with its six arms, its six arms that now had claws at the end, it had two digitigrade legs with hooves for feet. As for the head, it was round with no visible ears, two crocked horns on the back of the head, and its face looked very much like a Halloween carved pumpkin, with its glowing yellow eyes and glowing mouth with jagged black teeth. It also had a pointy, elongated nose that looked like a witch's nose.

"That… was a big mistake," the Trickster said in his true form.

Patrick turned to the others and yelled, "Let's get out here!" He was about to climb into the cart, but then he was grabbed the ankle by the Trickster and pulled back. Making him drop his laser shotgun. Patrick screamed as Wendy and the twins got out of the cart.

"Patrick!" They all yelled in panic.

The Trickster laughed with sinister glee, as Patrick was left hanging from his ankle. "Time for a new body!" the demon exclaimed, before turning and running off at fast speeds.

"What are we gonna do!" Mabel yelled and grabbed her head. They then heard a futuristic sound and looked to see that Wendy picked up Patrick's shotgun and glared in the direction the Trickster went.

"We're going to get Patrick back."

* * *

After following the Trickster and Patrick's yells for help, the Mystery Grew reached where it was going. A single, lone, small cabin in the woods that looked like it wasn't lived in for years. Wendy parked the cart and got out of the vehicle with the others. She had the shotgun, while Dipper, Mabel, Grenda, and Candy were armed with gardening tools that they found in the cart.

Wendy kicked down the door and rushed in. "Patrick?! Patrick!"

"Patrick, where are you!?" Dipper shouted out for his cousin. However, all they saw was that the place was dark and very run down. When Mabel flicked the light switch, it didn't work. They were then startled by the sound of painful moans and groans.

"Look!" Grenda said, pointing to a basement door on the floor with her rake. They all listened and could hear the sounds coming from there too.

Opening the doors, they looked down into the cellar with hesitation and fear. Dipper gulped and pulled out a flashlight for them to see down there. He was the first one to go into the cellar, with the others following close behind. The air down there was suddenly much colder than it was up top, and there was some frost on the walls. Each step of the wooden stairs made a creaking sound that made them flinch. Once they reached the bottom, Dipper shined his flashlight around to see where Patrick and the Trickster was. He found one of them, and gasped.

Laying in a bed with the covers covering the lower half of his body was Patrick. The moonlight shining down on him from a window. But there was something not right. His skin wasn't its normal color anymore. It had started to turn purple, with his once black hair now a pale grey.

Patrick looked at the group, and his eyes had changed too. His black eyes were now glowing yellow. His heavy breathing produced a puff of smoke. "Dipper…" he said in the voice of the Trickster. "Come here…"

While the others were hanging back with frightened looks, Dipper swallowed his fears and approached the bed. "Patrick? Is that you?"

"Dipper, it be lovely if I could have…" the person they believe to be Patrick started to grin in a menacing way, as he leaned towards the frightened Dipper. "…a cup…of…TEA!" He pulled back the covers and revealed a tea plate with two cups of tea, a bowl of sugar, a teaspoon, and the tea itself.

Dipper screamed. Wendy, Mabel, Grenda, and Candy screamed. However, after realizing that it was only tea and that the demon had played them as fools, they stopped screaming and glared at him. "Alright, pal! What have you done with Patrick!"

"She's in here, with us."

Suddenly, Patrick's body went back to normal, as he fought for control of his body. "Guys, you've got to help me!" He pleaded, before his hands slammed on his mouth. Then the Trickster took over again, and his skin, hair, and eyes returned to what they were before.

"Whoops. That one slipped out," the demon said with a chuckle.

"You won't get away with this!" Dipper declaimed.

"Yeah!" Everyone else cheered.

"Oh, yeah? What are you going to do about it?" the demon mocked them. "If you try and kill me in Patrick's body, you're taking him down with me." The Trickster then looked at his new body's hand and saw that some spots of Patrick's had were starting to return to their normal color. "And after I'm done taking over, his soul will die, and I'll be in control! And it's all thanks to that dumbass of a boyfriend of yours!"

Wendy lowered the shotgun and looked at him in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"That boy was jealous of Patrick here and how you always were so nice to him. I just used that and offered for him to take your candy!" The Trickster revealed, making the group gasp in shock. "But that spineless wimp only took one piece of candy. But then again, it was fun to see the looks on your faces when you found out about how much you really had!"

As the Trickster laughed, Dipper gasped. "We did have 500 pieces of candy. You cheated us on the deal!" He yelled, pointing at the demon.

"I'm a demon! There are no corners I'm not willing to cut to get my way. I couldn't take the candy because that would be against our deal."

"So, you used my boyfriend to steal from us." Wendy put the pieces together and it made her tighten her grip on the shotgun. "You trick him into doing it so you could kill us!"

"Once I'm done with your friend, I'm still going to kill you all." The Trickster started to laugh. As he did, the group watched with horrified expressions as the possessed Patrick's head turned and rotated a complete 360 degrees. Once he was done, he looked at Dipper and his cheeks puffed. The demon then suddenly vomited a large amount of blood onto the boy. Sending him knocking back into his sister and friends.

* * *

"What are we going to do?" Wendy asked, pacing around the living room of the house. After Dipper got blood vomited on him, the group retreated up top to the living room to figure out what they were going to do.

Dipper sighed in guilt, as he and Mabel sat on the couch. Candy and Grenda were on the floor. "This is all my fault! I just felt like I was getting a little too old to go trick-or-treating, and now look where it got us."

"But Dipper, that's exactly why we need to go trick-or-treating. We're getting older, there's not that many Halloweens left," Mabel said, before bringing her legs up and hugging them to her body. "I wanted to go trick-or-treating with Patrick because I wanted our first Halloween to be special together."

Wendy looked at the kids for a moment, before sighing and sitting down with the twins. "Your sister's right Dipper," she said, getting their attention. "When I was your age, I was so ready to grow up and I just…stopped trick-or-treating with my family just so I could hang out with the cool kids…now, I wish I could just go back and do things differently."

Candy was thinking for a moment, before she snapped her fingers. "I've got it! We can do an exorcism on Patrick to get the demon out!"

"How are we going to do that," asked Grenda.

Dipper then peaked up when he remembered something. "Wait a minute! I remember something about performing a basic exorcism," he said, pulling out the journal and started flipping through the pages. The others waited with anticipation. He then stopped when he found the page. "Here it is! _'To perform an exorcism; put on a flowing garment.'_ "

He, Mabel, Candy and Grenda turned their heads and looked to Wendy. When seeing that she was the one that they were staring at, the ginger jumped off the couch, took off her jacket, and looked down at her yellow and purple dress. "Are you guys sure about this," she asked. Although it was a one-piece dress, the skirt didn't reach down to her feet and wasn't really that flowy.

"It's the best that we've got to work with," Dipper said, before handing her the journal.

Wendy looked at the page and read it. " _'Incantation to exorcise demon'_ …What the hell? ' _Hullabaloo, howdy doo! Musty prawns and Timbuktu!'_ " Wendy stopped for a moment and looked at Dipper and Mabel. This couldn't really be the incantation. The twins simply nodded and so, the teenage girl continued on. " _'Yeltzy bye, hippity hoo! Kick 'em in the dishpan! Hoo-hoo-hoo!"_ After finishing, Wendy looked really puzzled and weirded out "Kick 'em in the dishpan? Hoo-hoo-hoo?"

Even the kids looked a little off-put by the words, but simply shrugged.

* * *

Wendy shivered from the cold, as she was no standing in front of Patrick's bed. More spots on his skin were starting to turn back to normal, and even his hair was going back to being black. Dipper, Mabel, Candy, and Grenda waited by the stairs, watching Wendy.

Although freezing her butt off from the intense cold, Wendy took a deep breath and then released it. She promised Patrick that she wasn't going to leave him when he was in danger, and she wasn't going to break that promise now.

"Hullabaloo, howdy doo!" She started, moving her arms up and down like she was a cheerleader. "Musty prawns and timbuktu! Yeltzy bye, hippity hoo!" Wendy then kicked the air. "Kick 'em in the dishpan! Hoo-hoo-hoo!" She finished the incantation with her fist in the air and grinned anxiously.

The demon possessing Patrick's body looked at her with a raised eyebrow. There was an unnerving silence in the cellar. The Trickster then started to laugh at Wendy, who looked dejected see that it didn't work. "What was that supposed to do—" Suddenly, he groaned in pain and grabbed Patrick's stomach.

Wendy watched with wide eyes and jaws hanging as this happened. Then blood started to come from Patrick's mouth, before leaning forwards and vomited out the Trickster, who was now a small version of himself. Patrick's body returned to its normal self and the teenager collapsed on the bed.

On the floor, the Trickster was shaking. His body was still small and weak, but was starting to grow back into its normal size. Panicking, Wendy looked back at the journal and saw the final step. The demon growled and rose up, still very weak from getting cast out of Patrick. "You cunt!" He reached out to grab at Wendy, but wasn't able to. His body was too large and was now stuck. "I'll rip you able and rape that pretty little body of yours!"

Wendy glared at the demon with determination and hate. "You shouldn't have threatened my friends and possessed Patrick," she growled. With him stuck where he was, she was able to repeat the incantation. "Hullabaloo, howdy doo!" The Trickster felt his skin burning and looked to see his arms starting to catch on fire. "Musty prawns and Timbuktu!"

"Stop it! Don't you dare finish—" He yelled in pain as more parts of his body were starting to catch on fire. Then cabin started to catch on fire.

"Yeltzy bye, hippity hoo!"

"STOP IT!"

"Kick 'em in the dishpan! Hoo-hoo-hoo!"

"NOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" The Trickster suddenly became engulfed in a wall of flames as he screamed in total agony. Wendy and the kids watched in awe as the fire died down and there was nothing left. Not even the flames that were spreading on the ceiling and walls of the cabin were there anymore.

It was all over. The Summerween Trickster was banished back to his dimension.

"Ugh." Wendy gasped when she heard Patrick groan. The teenage boy sat up and rubbed his head after getting hit with a massive headache. He then looked around and saw that they were in some dark room and looked at Wendy. "Wendy, what's going on?"

"You're okay!" Wendy exclaimed, running to him and hugging him tightly. Then Dipper and Mabel ran over and hugged their cousin with tears in their eyes. They were so close to losing him, that they were scared to death for him. Candy and Grenda also dogpiled onto them, making everyone laugh. They had survived the night, and everyone was well.

* * *

After exiting the house, the others told Patrick about what had happened to him and how they had to exorcise the Trickster out of his body. He was still having a hard time believing all the terror they witnessed and survived in just one night. They all hoped into the cart and drove out of the woods and back to the Mystery Shack.

"Hey, Stan and Grandma!" Patrick greeted as he walked into the living room with his cousins, Wendy, Candy, and Grenda following behind. Stan was sitting on the couch watching TV.

"Hi, Grunkle Stan and Graunt Veronica!" Dipper and Mabel said.

"Hello, Mr. Pines!" Wendy, Candy, and Grenda said as they were the last ones to enter.

"How's it hangin'," Stan waved at them with a smile.

Wendy then got a call from her phone and she answered it, as the others sat down on around the living room with Stan. "Talk to me," she answered, going over to the table in the dining area.

" _Yo, Wendy. Where are you?"_ asked Tambry on the other side. Wendy's eyes widened. Did she really forget about the party? How?

Oh, right. The demon thing. When she thought about the night and danger she's just had tonight, she looked at Patrick, as he watched a cheesy B-Movie. Wendy remembered that those kinds of movies were a bit of a guilt pleasure for him, as he finds some of them just funny to watch. She felt a smile on her lips. Wendy couldn't really explain it, but when she saw that Patrick was okay after the exorcism, her heart practically leapt with joy. It was like Wendy won't know what to do if he died. "I was trick-or-treating. With Patrick and his family."

" _Really? Isn't trick-or-treating, like, for babies?"_

"Not when it's with them," she said with honesty. "Just wished I could've picked something different to wear."

" _The party was lame anyway. Robbie ate a lollipop stick-first and had to go home sick."_

Wendy brought her hand up to cover her mouth, keeping herself from laughing. Showed that jerk for stealing candy. Though, she really couldn't fault him for putting them in danger with the Trickster. He did get fooled into stealing that lollipop. "Alright, well, see you later," the redhead said and ended the call. Wendy then walked over and sat down on the floor next to Patrick.

"Aw, man. We went to every single house, and we didn't even get to eat any candy!" Mabel then complained.

"Candy?" Stan reached behind the couch and pulled out two large pillowcases of candy and held them up. "How's that for candy?"

The kids broke out into grins.

* * *

" _And now back to the fear guide from Terror Town Street."_ The TV said as it was showing a Summerween marathon. It then showed a woman screaming, before cutting to a cheaply made alien going 'NYNG'. This repeated for a while.

As for the Pines family and friends, they were changed out of their costumes, with the exception of Patrick and Wendy, as they were wearing casual clothes with a few things added and the redhead was wearing only a dress and jacket. The younger kids were now in shorts, T-shirts, and shoes. Candy, Grenda, and Wendy had called their parents and told them that they were going to be staying at the Mystery Shack, with the permission of Stan to stay the night. Now they were all sitting around the living room, eating the candy Stan go that was now lying on the floor.

As she sat next to him, Wendy pulled out the laser shotgun and placed it on Patrick's lap. When he felt the gun in his lap, he looked down and was a little surprised to see it. Patrick looked to Wendy and saw her smiling at him. He smiled back and holstered the laser gun.

"You know, kids? I've been thinkin'," Stan declared, and everyone turned to him. "At the end of the day, Summerween isn't about candy or costumes. Or even scaring people. It's a day when the whole family can get together at one place and celebrate what really matters: PURE EVIL! HAHAHAHAHA!"

Everyone joined in and laughed maniacally like evil beings and then stopped abruptly. They looked at the audience and said, "Happy Summerween!"

* * *

 **AN: After a long hiatus to do the other stories, I'm back with "Weirder Things", and what better way to get back to the story than the Summerween chapter!**

 **Again, I'm sorry for taking so long. I'm going to be trying something different that'll allow me to try and update stories that are in need of an update while also doing three updates for a story that's my main focus.**

 **So! What do you think about this new telling of Summerween? I know that's it's a very long one, but one I was excited to do. I'm not really a big horror movie watcher, but I wanted to make sure that there was a good amount of horror movie references. From** _ **The Texas Chainsaw Massacre**_ **opening credits, to Patrick dressed up as Ash Williams, and then the** _ **Courage the Cowardly Dog**_ **part at the end, which was inspired and based on the episode "The Demon in the Mattress", which was a spoof of** _ **The Exorcist**_ **.**

 **As for the Summerween Trickster's child body, it was actually inspired by and paying homage to the** _ **Halloween**_ **series. With the clown part of the costume being the one that Michael Myers wore as a boy, while the skeleton body, pumpkin head, and witch hat were actually inspired by the three masks from** _ **Season of the Witch**_ **.**

 **This was also another chapter for Patrick and Wendy to become closer. Showing just how much Wendy's willing to do for Patrick and his family. It also shows that she really does care a lot about him.**

 **I've also been trying to find out about a way that the two of them could have a fight about. Sure, they're going to get together, but they'll also have to have bumps in the road and argue. That way they could try and become better for each other.**

 **And with "Summerween" over with, we'll move back to "Little Dipper", and then to the rest of the chapter. By the way, I'm going to be skipping "Bottomless Pit!" and some other episodes. If there are any episodes that you want me to skip over, then please tell me.**

 **Thank you very much for reading. "Weirder Things" will return. Please be sure to Favorite and Follow if you like the story, and also Review it so that I know that I'm doing good and what to improve. If you any questions or discussions you'd have for me, then please in a Review or a PM me.**

 **Thank you for reading, may God bless you, and have a wonderful day.**


	12. Little Dipper

**The watcher earth C-137:** I'm glad that you like it, and I hope you liked the Summerween chapter.

 **foxchick1:** Patrick is a little like Courage, so I'm not going to have him get a dog like Courage.

 **Guest (Bobby Jenkins):** Yeah, I was going to do _Godzilla_ with _Star vs the Force of Evil_ but decided to instead do it with _Fairy Tail._ And the OC will hook up with only one girl, and it'll either be Erza or Lucy. Also, wasn't it you that suggested to do _Godzilla_ and _Fairy Tail_ together?

 **CrimsonSylvan:** Thank you. I'm glad that you enjoyed the chapter.

 **Justus80:** I'm happy to hear that you enjoyed the chapter, and that you're liking Heroes of Tomorrow. I hope to update both stories as soon as I can.

 **Guest (dinodude):** Me too.

 **Dracus6:** True, but this story isn't about Mabel finding love. It's about Patrick finding love with Wendy. I just don't think I'm going to do it. Sorry.

 **RedHood001:** I'm happy you like the chapter. And thank you so much for reviewing this story and Gem of War.

 **Laci the Hunter:** I'm not going to skip that one. But I may change things. I looked up dinosaurs that lived in Oregon to see if there were any that would also terrorize the town. However, it turns out there were no dinosaurs in Oregon. Only Marine Reptiles.

 **Reaper4425:** The experience will affect him, but not too much. He's still going to be the same as always.

 **MAJORMATT1234:** Thank you and I'm happy to see that you liked it.

 **Dressyone22:** Honestly, the Summerween episode was dark.

 **Wolfking0811:** That does sound like a good idea, but I want for The Deep End to still be a Mabel episode.

 **LoamyCoffee:** Thank you and thank you so much for reviewing this story and Gem of War. Seriously what do I have to do to get reviews on that story!?

 **The lightning that writes:** Oh, okay. I I'm changing the idea to a _Godzilla_ and _Fairy Tail_ crossover. And the OC's powers will be like the Monsterverse Godzilla.

 **coldblue2015:** I'm happy that you enjoyed the chapter and thank you for reviewing the story.

 **Chance Green G King:** I'm happy you enjoyed it. And yeah, Mabel meeting Bigfoot would be funny. It would be like that one Courage episode!

 **Guest (Matt):** Thank you.

 **gods-own:** It sure is great to do the story again.

 **Fihz Nzqli:** I'm glad to hear that you love the references. They were pretty funny.

 **Guest:** It's okay. I understand. I don't relate to a lot of characters, so it fine. I'm happy that you still like the story.

 **NecrorexSparda Juubi-No-Kishin:** I can say that it's not likely. I haven't really been interested in transcendence AU stories.

 **Reptil:** Thank you for the comment.

 **FrancisVamp0822:** Thank you for the review and yeah, they would be a badass team. I'm happy that you liked my version of the Trickster. Hope that you also enjoy reading Brave Soul Samurai.

 **Guest (Spartan 108):** Thanks!

 **Andrew123456:** True it indeed will get weird.

* * *

Gideon Gleeful. This is a name that is famous in Gravity Falls, as Gideon was the town's child psychic. However, he's only a fraud and a conman, as Patrick and the twins learned about when they fought Gideon when he tried to make Mabel his girlfriend. They learned that the boy's hunger for ultimate power motivated him to manipulate and intimidate others into giving him what he wants. And now, he was plotting to take his revenge on the Pines family. Hoping to find what he was looking for in Journal #2, the second to book written by a mysterious author that documented all the creatures, and weirder things in Gravity Falls **(AN: Title drop!)**.

He sat at his table in his room, flipping through the pages. On the table were the miniature models of the Mystery Shack and the Pines family. "Zombie attack? Never works, they don't take orders. Blood rain? Ew, mess up my suit, heh, no thank you. Demon Caterpillars? DRAT!" In frustration, he shut the book. "There must be a perfect way to exact vengeance on the Pines family. It's not enough to harm 'em, I need to take something from them. Something that'll give me ultimate power."

Gideon looked around his room as he thought of a way to get his revenge. He's been waiting too long for this moment, and he wasn't going to wait any longer. Then, he looked at the model of the Mystery Shack and his eyes widened.

"Wait, of course!" He exclaimed. Gideon then picked up the model and looked at it with a grin. "It's perfect..."

* * *

" _You've gone too far this time, Duck-tective!"_

" _Quack quack, quack quack quack quack."_

Meanwhile, at the real Mystery Shack, Patrick, Dipper, Mabel, and Stan Pines were sitting on or around the couch watching Duck-tective on TV. There wasn't really any tourist around to scam, so Stan decided to join the kids. Duck-tective may have been a dumb show, but everyone got really into it. Even Patrick, who ripped into the show at times.

Their attention was brought away from the TV when the doorbell rang. And just in time, as the show cut to commercials. Stan quickly got up and put on his eyepatch. He walked over to the door and opened it. "Welcome to a world of mystery!" He declared, greeting the person outside.

That person turned out to be a man wearing a dark blue suit over a white shirt, and a red and yellow striped tie. He had gray and black hair in a comb over haircut, a large square jaw and a long bulbous nose. "Stan Pines," the man asked, narrowing his eyes.

Stan was shocked to see the man, as he lifted up his eyepatch. "The tax collector! You found me!" He yelled, before throwing a smoke bomb at the ground to distract the lawyer. The kids in the living room watched their great uncle as he ran inside and ripped off a decorative painting and threw it away, revealing a duffle bag that possibly contained thousands of dollars in cash hiding in a secret hole in the wall. Stan grabbed the duffle bag and started searching the tiles of the wall. Feeling around it by patting his hand on it, like it was going to hit a button. "Aah... uh... which one of these is the trap door?"

"What trap door," asked Patrick.

"Mister Pines." The man in the suit walked into the house, as the front door was left wide open. He walked into the living room, making Patrick reach into his sweater for his crowbar. "I'm from the Winning-House Coupon Savers contest, and YOU ARE OUR BIIIIIIG WINNER!" A cameraman came running in, along with two female models holding a giant check for 10,000,000 Dollars. One of the ladies threw confetti over Stan's head, as it fell onto him.

"Heh? My one and only dream, which was to possess money, has come true!" Stan shouted with joy and excitement.

"We're rich!" Dipper yelled, hopping off the couch. "I'm gonna get a butler!"

"I'm gonna buy a talking horse!" Mabel declared.

"I'm getting a capybara!" Patrick yelled in excitement. The twins then gave him weird looks. "What? Those things are adorable."

"Just sign here for the money," said the man, holding up a clipboard with the contract for Stan to sign.

"You bet!" Stan too the pen and quickly signed it.

Suddenly, Gideon came ripping through the check. "Ha! Stanford, you fool!" The creep exclaimed as the two women walked out of the house with the cameraman, who started flirting with them. Gideon grabbed the paper. "You just signed over the Mystery Shack to lil' ol' me!" He then started singing and doing this little dance.

Dipper and Mabel gasped. "Why you little!" Patrick angrily pulled out his crowbar.

"It's okay, kids," said Stan, before pointing to the paper with the pen and smirking smugly. "And might wanna take another look there!"

Still thinking he's won the day, Gideon held up the paper and read it out loud. Just so he could rub it in Stan and his family's face. "'The shack is hereby signed over to..." He was then met with a big shock. "…SUCK A LEMON, LITTLE MAN'?!" Stan and the kids laughed at Gideon. This made Gideon furious and he ripped the paper. "How dare you! I am not a threat to be taken lightly!" Gideon then reached his arms up for the man behind him. "Come here hon', I need your arms." And so, the man grabbed Gideon and lifted him up. Holding the boy out in front of him. "I'll get you, Stanford Pines! I'LL GET YOU ALL!" Lawyer carried the little boy as he back out of the house. And they didn't even close the door.

The Pines family stared at where Gideon exited the house, still weirded out.

Well, at they won't have to worry about Gideon anymore today.

Stan turned to the kids and asked, "Wanna see what else is on TV?"

* * *

 **{Play** _ **Stranger Things**_ **theme by Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein}**

 **[0:00-0:03]**

 _At the beginning of the intro, there is nothing but blackness._

 **[0:03-0:08]**

 _Then about three seconds later, a bunch photographs started falling from above in slow motion._

 **[0:08-0:11]**

 _Getting a closer look at one of the photographs, while others twirled and spun in the background in slow motion, shows the town of Gravity Falls from a distance._

 **[0:11-0:14]**

 _Another picture shows the Mystery Shack during the night time, with bright lights shining thought the windows._

 **[0:14-0:16]**

 _One photo shows a thundering sky that had a large, flying creature's shadow being seen through the dark clouds. The camera then focuses on a picture behind the previous one, showing large claw marks on a tree trunk, as more photos were seen falling._

 **[0:16-0:19]**

 _Three photos are focused on now, one showing an angry Gnome, the second showing something that resembles the Long Ness Monster, and the third show a dinosaur tooth trapped in amber._

 **[0:19-0:25]**

 _The camera shows the cluster of photographs continuing to fall, before angling downwards to show all of them lying on a flat surface, collecting in a pile._

 **[0:25-0:40]**

 _The camera then gradually moves back to show more of the photos landing. After the last of the photos were on the surface, the camera moves upwards, displaying nothing but blackness again._

 **[0:40-45]**

 _Then the title of the story appeared in a flash of light._

 _ **WEIRDER THINGS**_

 **[0:45-end]**

 _It then disappeared, before the chapter title appeared._

 **Chapter Twelve**

 **Little Dipper**

* * *

Nothing else really happened after Gideon threated the Mystery Shack. Wendy was off of work and so Patrick didn't really have anyone else to hang out with but Dipper, Mabel, and Soos. So, he was helping his big co-worker clean the Shack, while the twins were playing chess in the middle of the shop. Setting the broad on top of the skeletal remains of a giant monster turtle that Stan came up with.

"Little guy to black space nine!" Mabel moved one of Dipper's pawns the wrong way, not really taking the game seriously.

"It's a pawn, that's not your color, and stop stealing the tiny horses!" Dipper told her. Throughout the game, Mabel was stealing all of the knight chess pieces and pointing them in her sweater pocket.

"They like it better in here. Don't you babies?" She then made horse noises.

"Sure, just like a real horse wouldn't trample you to death for kidnapping it," Patrick said sarcastically, dusting off some of the snow globes.

Dipper then picked up one of his pieces and knocked over Mabel's king. "And... checkmate!"

"What? Boo!" Mabel booed at her loss.

"O-oh! Dipper wins again!" Dipper cheered while Mabel glared at him, before taking out a notebook to add a tally mark to his side of the page. He had that notebook to keep track of all of their wins and losses in every game. Dipper had 85, Patrick had 69, and Mabel had zero wins.

"Yo, Mabel? Can you pass me that brain in the jar?" asked Soos, who was up on a ladder cleaning bubble-head Stans. The brain in the jar he was pointing at was the one that had a lady's wing on it, right next to one with a cowboy hat. "The lady one?"

"I got it," said Dipper, standing up.

However, Soos stopped him when he said, "Thanks, but Mabel's taller."

"I can get it," Patrick said, walking over to the brain and grabbing the jar it was in.

"And no, she's not," Dipper said, walking up to his sister and stood next to her. "We're the same height. We've always been."

Patrick set the jar down when Soos said, "Better check again, dude." Dipper took off his head and the twins put their backs together as their cousin came around the counter and pulled out a tape measure. With the twins lined up, Patrick first measured Mabel. He then measured Dipper and was surprised to see that Soos was actually right.

"Holy shit, he's actually right," he told the male twin. "She's got exactly one millimeter on you!"

"What?!" Dipper exclaimed in shock.

"Woah, don't you see what's happening, Dipper," Mabel asked her brother. "This millimeter is just the beginning. I'm evolving into the superior sibling! Bigger! Stronger!"

"Like some kinda alpha-twin!" Soos said.

"Alpha-twin! Alpha-twin!" Mabel chanted, teasing Dipper. Patrick really wasn't too worried about, as he knew that they'll just have their arguments and then move on with their lives. However, Dipper was more defensive about his height.

"C'mon, guys, nobody even uses millimeters. It only makes you taller than me in Canada," he told her.

"Y'know Dipper, I've always wanted a little brother. Who knew I already had one?" Mabel laughed at him.

This made Patrick scowl at her. "Okay, that's enough," he told her, and it would've ended there. The conversation would have ended then there. But then Stan came in, out of his suit and apparently had just woken up as he rubbed his eyes.

"I was awoken by the sound of mockery," he said, before walking up to the group. Rubbing his hand together with anticipation. "Where is it? Show me the object of ridicule!"

"I'm taller than Dipper!" Mabel said, pointing her twin on the head.

"By ONE millimeter." Dipper added.

"Hey, hey, don't get... _short_ with your sister." Stan started laughing

"Now Grunkle Stan, I hope you don't think _little_ of him," Mabel joked, making Stan laugh more.

"Ya! And, and uh... he's short!"

Seeing his cousin looking down in embarrassment, Patrick glared at Stan and Mabel. "Okay, back off, you two!"

"Yeah, maybe you should lay off a tiny bit," Soos said, trying to help

"Ha! Tiny! Soos is in on it now!" Stan laughed, causing more laugher from him and Mabel. At that point, Dipper just walked right out of the room.

"Dipper will forget," Mabel said, before getting her next joke ready with Stan. "He's got a 3... 2..." That was ruined when Patrick punched her hard in the shoulder. "OW! What was that for?! I was just going to say he had a _short-term memory_." Although she was able to make the joke, and Stan started to laugh, he stopped when Patrick punched Mabel for a second time. This time, harder. "OWWWW!"

"He may be shorter, but you're acting now a big jerk," Patrick scolded her, before leaving the room. He walked up the stairs and entered the bedroom to see Dipper angrily pacing back and forth.

"Ugh! Stupid Mabel! I'm not short! Am I? Dipper asked his cousin, already starting to get paranoid. It usually happens when someone makes fun of him.

"Look, man. I feel you," Patrick said, sitting down on his bed and pulling off his socks and shoes. Showing his six toes. He remembered when he first talked to the twins about the extra toes he had, and how Mabel teased him. However, Stan was really upset about it and told her to never do it again. Even threatening to ground her. "When I was your age, I was picked on a lot for having six toes on my feet. But after a few years, I was able to stick up for myself when they made fun of me. That and developed a temple," he murmured that last part.

"So, I am short!" Dipper exclaimed in a hopeless manner, as Patrick didn't help by telling him he wasn't short. He then looked towards the top shelf, where Journal 3 was. He tried reaching for it, only to come up short. "Oh, come on." Dipper then kicked the bookcase and the journal fell down into his arms. "There's gotta be some way to get taller."

"You could wait and let nature take its course."

Dipper just continued to look through the book, before stopping at a chapter. Patrick looked into the chapter and saw that it had images of these crystals and what looked to be a trail. The title of the chapter was Height Altering. "Let's see... 'Legends of miniature buffalo and giant squirrels have led me to believe there are height altering properties hidden deep within the forest.'"

"I'll get on my shoes," said Patrick. He knew that Dipper was going to look for whatever it was that changed those animals, so it was best to just go along with him.

* * *

"Thanks for coming on this adventure with us, Graunt Veronica," said Dipper. Walking down the trail that was shown in the journal, both of the young Pines boys were accompanied by the old woman who was actually a secret agent of the government. When she heard about how Stan and Mabel were making fun of Dipper because of his height, Veronica decided to come along with them and find the crystal.

"It's no problem, Dipper," she said, dressed in hiking clothing and used a hiking stick. "I've always wondered what you kids do on your adventures."

"Well, just be careful," Patrick said. "There's no telling what could—" He suddenly tripped over a root and started rolling down the hill. "Ooh! Ah! Ow! Agh! Aagh." He landed hard on his back.

"Patrick! You okay?" Dipper yelled, as he and Veronica ran down the hill after him. Patrick groaned and lifted his head with a hand on his head. That's when he noticed that there was a tiny deer standing on his chest. And it was really small. It was a full-grown buck, but it was only the size of a little kitten.

The deer looked at him, before jumping off. "Whoa." Patrick watched the deer run away and join other deers that were hiding under some mushrooms. Dipper and Veronica arrived and were also surprised to see the deers. Dipper the saw a tiny eagle pass by his face.

There as a growling roar that startled the group and they saw a mountain lion looking at them. "Is that mountain lion tiny or just far away in perspective," Dipper asked. The mountain lion growled and pounced at them. "PERSPECTIVE! PERSPECTIVE! AAAAAAH!" Patrick used his body to shield his cousin, and Veronica stepped in front of the boys and was about to defend them with her hiking stick.

Mountain lion leaped at the old woman and was about to maul her. However, it's frozen in a beam of pink light, and Veronica watched as it shrank to that size of a hand. Veronica let it land on her body and she laughed from being tickled. When they heard her laughing, Patrick and Dipper opened their eyes and looked at her, as the mountain lion crawled up onto her hand. It meowed and bites her thumb. "Now that's a bad kitty," she cooed and petted the lion on the head with her finger.

"Guys check it out," Patrick said, pointing to something in front of them in amazement. That thing turned out to be a bunch of crystals coming out of the ground, each of varying sizes. The largest of the crystals had a beam of sunlight shining on it, making it give off two beams of light. One was pink and the other was blue.

The three approached it with awed expressions. They then notice a butterfly flying by them. The insect passed through the pink light and shrank to the size of a thumbnail, then the blue light and grow to the size of Patrick.

Patrick, Dipper, and Veronica watched the butterfly fly away and knocked over a tree. The secret agent made a note to deal with that later.

Dipper and Patrick approached the crystals and looked down at the smaller crystals. Patrick pulled out his crowbar and used it to pull out a palm-size crystal. He grabbed it and looked over it, as Dipper and Veronica stared in awe. "I got an idea," the teenager said.

* * *

"All I need is for you all to find the butterfly and get it back to normal size," Veronica told another agent on the phone outside of the kids' bedroom. When the person on the other side talked about how strange and unbelievable it all sounded, the old woman sighed and rubbed her temple. "I know it sounds ridiculous! We're in Gravity fucking Falls!"

She hung up and entered the room, where Patrick and Dipper were tying the crystal they found in front of a red flashlight with a piece of rope. Patrick shined the flashlight and the crystal produced a blue beam, then rotated it so it shined pink. "Okay, let's try it out," the teenager said, handing Dipper the flashlight, before putting a pawn chess piece on the floor for the boy to try out the power of the crystal.

"Smaller," said Dipper and shrank chess piece. He then turned the crystal around. "Bigger." He shined the blue light and made chess piece bigger. But with no control of it, Dipper grew the pawn so much that it breaks through the roof. "TOO BIG!"

"I'm…sure that's nothing to worry about," Veronica said, not really convinced by her own words.

"Alright, time to do this," Patrick said, grabbed the light from Dipper and had him stand up from the bed and stand in the middle of the room. Patrick aimed the light at Dipper, while Veronica got behind him. "Okay, I'm only going to give you _one_ millimeter. That's it!"

"Got it!" Dipper gave him a thumbs up. Patrick nodded and shined the light on his cousin for half a second, before turning it off. "Did it work?"

"Only one way to find out."

* * *

"I've been buying bigger clothes; I'll grow into them." Mabel bragged to Soos in the gift shop. Just then, Dipper, Patrick and Graunt Veronica walked in through the front door.

"Hey guys, notice anything _different_ about me," Dipper asked, feeling pretty confident in himself.

Soos squinted at the boy and was a little surprised. "Holy hot sauce! You've grown an extra millimeter!"

"Wh-wh-what?" Mable exclaimed in shock. She got off the chair and checks height with Dipper. Standing behind her twin brother as Veronica pulled out a yard measuring stick and it showed that the two of them were evenly tall now. Even when Mabel used her hand to do it, she pouted to see that it's true.

"What can I say, sis? Growth spurt," said Dipper.

"Yeah, mine happened first," Mabel gloated. "I'm gonna be taller in the end. It's science, Dipper."

"Right and then science kicks in again and you'll just another small little girl," Veronica said, taunting her niece by poking her with the yardstick. Making Mabel stumble back and rub her head. "Besides, even I'm smart enough to admit that boys are taller than girls."

"What?! Come on Graunt Veronica. Alpha-twin! Alpha-twin!" Mabel chanted, before getting hit on the head with the yardstick.

"Just because I'm a woman, doesn't mean I'm going to side with you on everything. Especially with that behavior." Veronica set the stick down and walked out of the Mystery Shack. She knew that there was only one way to put Mabel in her place; science and logic.

"Besides, something tells me I've got another growth spurt comin' on right now," Dipper said, before walking away. Patrick didn't like the look he was giving his sister, and the teenager knew what was going to happen. He was about to go after him, but then Mabel ran pass Patrick.

That wasn't good. He was about to go after them, but then the doorbell rang.

Patrick walked over to the front door and opened it. Looking down to see Gideon once again there. In one hand he was holding a jar of what looked like termites with white wings and a red glow. In the other hand, he held a baseball bat. Patrick sighed in annoyance and looked at the boy with a scowl. "Hello, Gideon."

"Oh, howdy Patrick!" Gideon started off friendly, but then changed to threatening. "Listen closely. Inside this jar I have 1000 Cursed Egyptian super termites. Hand over the deed to Stanford's property or I'll smash this jar with a bat, and they'll devour this shack with you inside!"

Patrick looked unimpressed and pulled out his laser shotgun to aim at Gideon.

Gideon yelped in surprise at the sight of the gun and dropped the jar of termites. Smashing it and the termites turned towards Gideon. Attacking him and making the evil boy run around, yelled in pain as the insect crawled all over him and bit his skin.

Patrick laughed and took a picture of the scene. He then sent the pic to Wendy as a text message.

P: _"Look who tried and failed to destroy us."_

W: _"Lmao! That's hilarious! Serves that Mo-fo right!"_

Gideon yelled at Patrick. "Y'all may have won this battle, but mark my words, Patrick! Your family has a weak spot, and I'm gonna find it!" Patrick fired a shot over the boy's head. "Ah! My hair!" And with that, he ran away.

"Any time, little man," Patrick said with a smirk, before putting away his laser shotgun. He was then suddenly pushed from behind by Dipper and Mabel, as the girl twin chased after her brother for the flashlight. Patrick fell to the ground with the twins, with the flashlight flying out of Dipper's hands. It turned out, making a caterpillar grow to the size of a car. The caterpillar then crushed a car.

Mabel quickly got up and picked up the flashlight. She pointed it to her hand and uses it to make her hand grow bigger. This made her yelp in shock.

When she dropped the flashlight, Dipper ran over and grabbed it. "It's okay, it can shrink things too," he told her, before using the flashlight to return Mabel's hand back to normal size.

Patrick got up and dusted himself clean. "Can someone tell me what the hell is going on?"

"Normal hand karate chop!" Mabel yelled, hitting the flashlight out of Dipper's hand and took it.

"Hey!" Dipper yelled as she ran off with the flashlight. Mabel then stopped and used the device to make Dipper's head bigger to where it looked like it was a bobble-head. Dipper stumbled back and knocked his head against a pillar of the Mystery Shack. Breaking the wood and bending some of the metal roof parts.

"Give me that!" Patrick yelled, taking the flashlight from Mabel and used it to fix Dipper's head. Mabel yelled and grabbed the light, trying to pull it out of Patrick's hands. Dipper then came over to try and wrestle the flashlight for himself. "Hey! Knock it! You're going to—!" Suddenly, the light turned on and shone the pink light onto himself.

Patrick watched as his entire body was shrunk down. No longer was he the tall teenager that he used to be, but was now the size of a _Lego_ figure. Mabel and Dipper watched as it happened and were staring at their cousin in shock. Their cousin looked up at their gigantic forms, even though they were normal size. "Patrick!" They cried out.

"What the hell did you two do to me!?" He yelled at them in anger. However, his voice had changed to them, and sounded a little funny. Like he had breath in a little bit of helium.

"Your molecular structure's been shrunk down," Dipper said.

"No shit! Fix this!" Patrick demanded.

"Okay, I'll get you back to normal." Dipper grabbed the head of the flashlight and was about to turn it, but then Mabel tackled him and grabbed the device.

"You've caused enough trouble!" Mabel declared.

"Give it back!" Dipper yelled, and then two of them started fighting and wrestle for the light.

"Never!"

"Are you two kidding me!?" Patrick yelled, only able to watch as Mabel grabbed the bulb end of the flashlight and Dipper held the pole. The two got to their feet and had a tug-of-war to take the flashlight for themselves. Suddenly the flashlight flew out of their hands. Patrick watched it and saw that it was going right for an angry Gideon. "Oh no!"

"Curse the Pines family! Curse Stan! Curse Dipper! Curse—" Gideon ranted as he paced around, but then stopped when the flashlight landed in front of him. He picked it up and looked over the device. "My, my, what delightful manner of a dohickery is this?"

"Maybe he didn't see us use it and doesn't know it's a magic flashlight that can grow and shrink things," Mabel said.

Not realizing that they were standing right in front of Gideon.

"Really?" said Dipper.

Gideon started turning the flashlight on and off. "Flick, boop, woo hoo hoo," he giggled, before turning to the twins and gave them an evil grin.

"Run guy!" Patrick yelled to the two, but it was too late before Gideon shrank them to his level.

The family hugged each other in fear, as they watched Gideon bellowed out with an evil laugh. "Gwa ha ha ha ha!" That's what it sounded like from their point of view. In a normal view, it sounded more like he was giggling. "Hee hee hee, woo hoo hoo hoo hoo!" Gideon then looked down at the three tiny people at his mercy and put the jar he used for the termites over them.

* * *

Patrick and the twins could only watch the scenery all around the glass jar, as Gideon carried them. Dipper and Mabel sat with Patrick, with the girl looking really scared. Patrick could image why. Gideon force her to do things she didn't want to do, and now she was forced into being his prisoner. Patrick wrapped his arm around his cousin and Mabel buried her face into his shoulder. Dipper tried to help too by placing his hand on Mabel's. The two boys watched as Gideon passed his father and the people he was trying to sell cars to.

"Say there son, what's in your jar," Bud asked his son.

Gideon stopped and gave the people a cute look that could easily fool them. "That's my widdle secret!" He said, hiding the family he's kidnapped behind his back. The people fell for it. Gideon turned around and walked away to his home. "Mouth-breathin' fools..." He opened the door, and walks inside his house. Walking past his paranoid, traumatized and disturbed mother, who was vacuuming the kitchen. When the door closed, the Pines knew they were now at Gideon's mercy.

Gideon opened the door and entered his room. He walked over to his deck that had the miniatures he made and unscrewed the jar containing the Pines kids. Shaking the jar violently, he spilled them out on the tabletop. "You three!" He snarled with a glare.

Patrick quickly got in front of the twins and pulled out his crowbar. Getting into his protective mode. "What are you going to do with us?" Mabel asked, fearing what Gideon had in mind.

Gideon chuckled with an amused smile. "Why Mabel, I wouldn't hurt a hair on your itty-bitty head—" Gideon reached to touch her head, but Patrick pushed Mabel away from him and swung his signature weapon at Gideon's figure. The evil boy yelped a little and glared hatefully at Patrick, but didn't do anything to him, as the crowbar didn't hurt him. "—If you agree to be my queen!"

"We live in a democracy! And never!" Mabel shouted.

"Maybe you'll change your mind after THIS!" Patrick tried to grab Mabel, but he was fast enough to stop her from being picked up by the back of her collar by Gideon. The boy then reached for something under his desk

The brown-haired girl started trying to get out of his grip. Twisting around, punching the air and kicking her feet. "No! I will fight you until the day I—" Mabel stopped fighting when she saw Gideon had brought out a bag of Gummy Koalas and gasped. "Gummy Koalas!" Gideon dropped her in the bag and Mabel instantly started eating one of the candies.

"As for you, boys..." Gideon placed Mabel down on the table and turned the table lamp into Dipper and Patrick's face. Making the two shield their eyes from the blinding light. "Tell me. How exactly did you come upon this magic item? Hmm? Did somebody tell you about it? Did you... _READ_ about it somewhere?"

Patrick's eyes widened when he heard him say that. Luckily Gideon didn't see it thanks to his hand covering his face. Did he know about the journal? That's impossible, they never took it out in front of him. And from what he could tell, Dipper also was surprised too. He glanced at Patrick and pulled his vest back a little show Journal #3 in it. Patrick shook his head a little. If Gideon was for some reason looking for the journal, it couldn't be good. They could only trust a few people with its existence. Patrick then noticed an airhorn beside him and Dipper and smirk. "Alright, you win," he said, making it look like he was giving up. "Lean closer and I'll tell you!"

"Well, don't mind if I—" Patrick pushed the airhorn's button delivering the loud sound straight into the brat's face. "AAAAAAAH!" Gideon screamed and turned around.

"HA! In your face, Gleeful!" Patrick shouted in victory. Gideon took some deep breaths, before growling and turning around, whacking the light away.

"I COULD SQUASH YOU RIGHT NOW!" Gideon screamed with a pissed off, sweaty expression and raised his fist up to bring it down on the two boys. Patrick and Dipper backed up, as they waited for Gideon to make the move. But after a moment of glaring at them, the big-haired boy glanced at his fist and calmed down. "Steel yourself, Gideon." He lowered his fist and started drumming his fingers together. "You can use them. You can use them..."

* * *

Back at the Mystery Shack, Veronica walked into the large room of the house after finding Stan standing at the stairs. "Stan where are the—what in the world is this," she asked with wide eyes. The enter room was filled with full body mirrors. Soos was the one setting them up, creating a maze out of them.

"This, my dear cousin, is the best idea from Soos that I'm taking credit for; the maze of mirrors!" Stan declared, wrapping an arm around Veronica's shoulder. "We're gonna make a fortune!" He let go of her and walked over to one of the mirrors. Taking off his hat, Stan looked at his reflection. "Have my ears always been this big?"

"Yes, they're ginormous—Now, have you seen our grandkids," Veronica asked more sternly. "I can't find them anywhere."

"I saw them playing in the yard minutes ago." Stan answered her nonchalantly, before hearing the phone ringing. He walked off towards it and Veronica followed after him. "I'm comin'!"

Soos then came over to where Stan left his hat. He took off his baseball cap and puts on Stan's fez. Looking at himself in the mirror, Soos puffed up his chest to make himself look muscular and strong. "One day!"

As for Stan and Veronica, the old man walked into the living room, picked up the phone and grunted.

" _Stanford Pines, listen to me very closely. I have your niece and nephews. Hand over the deed to the Mystery Shack right now, or great harm will befall them!"_ Said the person on the phone. Veronica heard the person's voice and gasped. _"This is Gideon, by the way."_

That got Stan laughing out loud. "Oh yeah, this is gonna be your worst plot yet. They're fine. I saw them playing in the yard minutes ago," he said, opening up a soda. Veronica knew all about Gideon's fraud and malicious nature. She saw right through the facade that has been showing the people of Gravity Falls to win their hearts. However, after Patrick told her about how Gideon used a magic amulet to try and kill him, his grandmother became suspicious about something. How did Gideon, and boy that couldn't be any older than the twins know about the amulet?

" _I have them in my possession! You don't believe me? I will text you a photo!"_

"'Text me a photo'? Now you're not even speakin' Spanish!" Stan said. Good thing he didn't understand modern technology. As for Veronica, she secretly backed away and walked to the door with a determined look. When Stan hung up on Gideon, she was already out of the building.

* * *

"Hello? Hello?" Gideon yelled into the phone, but heard nothing. He got enraged and threw the phone at the wall. Breaking it on impact, with the pieces nearly hitting Patrick and Dipper. "Wait." Gideon then started laughing insanely. Like he's finally lost his mind. He stopped when he smacked his head with his hand. "What am I doing?" Patrick and the twins shared worried glances, feeling very uneased by the change in tone. "I don't need ransom! I have THIS!" The brat grabbed the flashlight and held it up. "I'll shrink Stan and take the Shack for myself!"

Gideon then turned to Patrick and the twins and approached the table. Grabbing the four dolls of the family, which made the Pines kids even more scared. "You'll be helpless to stop me. And if you step out of line, SMASH!" Gideon grabbed the heads and violently snapped the heads off of the Pines dolls. Patrick trembled as he watched the dolls dropped on the table and Gideon laughed evilly.

He knew that the kid was bad, but…damn.

"Gideon! The ice cream truck is here!" Bud yelled up to his son.

"Oh! Coming!" Gideon responded and giggled, walking towards the door. But then he stopped and put a hamster in a cage down next to the Pines kids. He opened the cage and the hamster crawl out to sit between Dipper and Patrick. "Guard them, Cheekums. I'm coming!" Gideon ran off and panted when he exited the room. Leaving the door open with a crack.

Patrick stared at the hamster, and it just stared blankly at nothing. Wondering if it was even a threat to them, he poked Cheekums with his crowbar. The big rodent squeaked, but didn't do anything else. Seeing that they weren't in danger, Patrick walked over to Mabel and Dipper, with the former eating a green gummy koala. "We've gotta get out of here and save Stan!" He exclaimed.

"I know!" Mabel put the Gummy Koala in her sweater's pocket. "I will see you later," she said with a grin.

"Okay, how are we going to do this. Gideon's got magic and, like, a zillion inches on us," Dipper said, pacing around. He then turned to Mabel and smiled. "On the bright side, at least we're finally the same height again."

Patrick looked closely at the two. "Actually…" He said. After Mabel got out of the bag of Gummy Koalas, Patrick brought over a small ruler he found and had the twins stand beside it. And it showed Mabel was still taller than Dipper.

"You're still taller? Arrgh! How did this happen," asked Dipper in frustration.

"I guess it's another mystery," Mabel said with a shrug and a grin.

"It's called life, now let's stop wasting time and get going," Patrick told the two and walked over to the edge of the table. Staring all the way down at the carpet. Normally it'd be a three-foot drop, but for tiny people, it was 10 times that number.

"How are we going to do this," Dipper asked, walking over to look down. Patrick looked around before seeing Gibeon's hairbrush, that had some of his hair on it. Patrick walked over to it and started pulling off the hair.

"Cheekums, to freedom!" Mabel shouted as she sat on Cheekums' back and patted the hamster. Trying to ride him like a horse. "To freedom!" She patted Cheekums again, and just like before, the hamster didn't do anything. "Oh, you're just a big old dummy-dum!"

"Looks like the two of you have something in common, now get off the hamster and give me a hand here," Patrick said, tying some of Gideon's hair together to form a rope. It was a very gross thing to do, and it was made even more difficult by the fact that whatever Gideon used on his hair was sticky.

After about a minute later, the three kids had made a rope long enough for them to slide down. They rappelled down the side of the table, landed on the ground, and ran out of Gideon's room. They ran into the living room, but quickly hid in a shoe when they saw Gideon and Bud. Patrick and the twins peeked out and watched with frowns the father and son eating ice cream. Patrick tapped the twins on their shoulders and pointed to the flashlight sitting on the table.

When Gideon was done eating his ice cream, he set the tub down and licked his hands. "Clean me!" He ordered, and Bud wiped Gideon's face with a cloth. Patrick could only wonder how this brat had so much power over his own father. Gideon's attitude turned to be sweet. "Father, could you give widdle old me a ride to the Mystery Shack?"

"Oh, I'd love to, sugarpot," Bub said, tugging Gideon's cheek, "but I have a heck of a lot of cars to sell, I do! I do!" The father then started tickling his son, making the boy laugh and wave his arms around.

"No, no." Gideon's laugh suddenly turned into a furious scream. "NO, DON'T TICKLE MEEEE! NO!" He grabbed the ice cream tub and threw it across the room where it hit the purple wall, just missing Mrs. Gleeful. She just looked shocked and frightened, while her wall was stained with ice cream. Patrick, Dipper, and Mabel looked at one another with wide eyes. "NEVER! Never tickle me! What have I told you? What have I told — look at me — what have I told you?!"

"Ticklin' is no laughing matter," Bub said like a guilty boy.

Gideon stood up in the chair and patted him on the cheek. "There we go."

"Do you still need a ride?"

"I'll just take the BUS!" Gideon shouted, before stomping over to the front door. He knocked a table over, breaking it and a lamp, kicked the door open and left.

Bub looked chilled, but his wife still looked scared by her son's rage. "Precious memories," Bub said, before Mrs. Gleeful continued to vacuum.

"Just keep vacuuming. Just keep vacuuming..." The deeply disturb woman said to herself.

"Jesus," Patrick whispered to himself, before spotting a doggie door in the front door. Did Gideon have a dog? He shook his head and quickly got out of the shoe. "Come on!" His cousin followed after him as they ran across the living room, going pass Bub's feet and making it to the doggie door.

Running to the main building of Bub's car sale business, the three hid behind one of the tires of the cars. "We need to get higher," said Dipper, looking around for a way up.

"Yeah, especially you…" Mabel started to joke before Patrick glared at her.

"You really want to finish that sentence? Do you _really_ want to, after everything you've helped caused today?" Patrick warned her. Mabel instantly shut-up and looked down. "That's what I thought."

"Guys! Up there." Dipper said, pointing up at a flying discount dollar on the roof of the building. They ran towards it, and then climbed up the rope to the top. The teenager and his cousins looked down to see Gideon and Lazy Susan sitting together at a bus stop. The evil kid holding the flashlight.

"What cute little thing are you off to you cute little cutie-face," Lazy Susan asked, still believing Gideon to be an innocent little boy.

"I'm gonna annihilate my archenemy's entire family," Gideon said.

Lazy Susan's face turned into a worried expression. "Oh okay..." she then said weakly, "yaaay..." That's when the bus came, and Gideon stepped on board.

"He's heading to shrink Stan!" Dipper exclaimed.

"There's got to be a way to get ahead of him." Patrick looked around to see what would work.

"Oh, flying discount dollar, if only you could fly us back to the Mystery Shack," Mabel said, giving the dollar a hug.

Patrick looked at the rope and got an idea. "Maybe it can. Get to the wings and get ready," he said and grabbed the rope. He then pulled out the laser shotgun from his sweater and shot the line, cutting the inflatable free. They were instantly flying off into the sky, following the winds catching them to take them in the direction of the Shack.

Watching them through a pair of binoculars was Veronica. She stood behind her car, as she was going to grab her SMG and break into Gideon's house to get the kids. But when she was about to open the back of the car, she saw Patrick, Dipper, and Mabel flying on the inflatable after hearing their cheers.

Veronica brought the binoculars down and smirked, when the dollar sign passed the bus. "Smart kids," she said, before getting back into her car and driving back to the Mystery Shack.

* * *

After landing the balloon into the totem, Patrick and the twins were zip-lining down the wire attached to the wooden pole to the Mystery Shack. Landing on the porch roof. Patrick looked and saw the bus approaching the Shack. "We're just in time," he said, pointing to the arriving bus that Gideon is on. It stopped and Gideon got off.

"But how are we going to stop him," Dipper asked. A woodpecker landed behind Dipper and started pecking his head. "Ah shoo ah ha ah!" He scared the bird away.

That's when Mabel got a plan. "Leave that to Mabel."

They waited as Gideon walked towards the Shack while humming. Mabel grabbed the gummy koala from her sweater pocket and got ready to throw it. "I'm comin' for ya, Stanford!" Gideon declared, before Mabel dropped the candy in his hair. Making him try and get it out of his hair.

"I'm sorry, gummy friend," said the girl twin with a sad expression.

"It's for the greater good," Dipper told her.

Gideon tried to pull the gummy koala out of his white hair, but it got stuck, messing up his hair. "Ugh! One of those infernal Gummy Koalas has gotten into my perfect hair," he said, dropping the flashlight on the ground. "I can't defeat Stan looking like this." Gideon then walked towards a bathtub that was on its side and used it as a mirror. As he took out the candy from his hair and sprayed on the hairspray, he didn't notice Patrick and the twins slide down the post to the porch and run over to the flashlight.

Patrick got on the flashlight and said to Dipper and Mabel. "Quick, get in front and I'll re-grow you two."

"Okay," said Dipper and flipped the crystal over to grow him and his sister back to normal. But realizing this, he stopped his cousin. "Wait, you're gonna grow us back to equal height, right?"

"Dipper! That doesn't matter right now," Patrick exclaimed. "It's just _one_ millimeter!"

"Well, if it doesn't matter, why don't you just do it?" Dipper at him.

"Why are you acting so weird!?" Mabel snapped, having enough of her brother's attitude. "Why can't you just accept that I'm a little bit taller than you?"

"Oh, _I'm_ acting weird? You're the one who keeps calling me names and stuff."

"Guys, stop it!" Patrick yelled at the two of them.

"Oh, what?" Mabel stared angrily at her brother. "You mean like little—"

"Don't say it!"

"Little Dipper." That wasn't a voice they wanted to hear. Before Patrick and the twins could react, Gideon reached down and grabbed them. Lifting them up as their feet dangled, he grinned evilly at them. "I dare say you would have defeated me, if it wasn't for your sibling bickering!"

Patrick said to the twins. "If we get out of this, I'm going to kill the two of you."

Gideon gripped them in his hand, but not enough to crush the three, and kicked open the door of the Mystery Shack's gift shop. "The Shack is mine, Stanford Pines!" Gideon held out the flashlight and turned it on.

"NOOOOO!" Patrick, Dipper, and Mabel yelled, as Stan's fez dropped to the floor.

Once the job was done, and the man was shrunk down and under the hat, Gideon turned off the flashlight, stored it away in his suit, and walks towards the fez. "Well, well, Stanford it appears I finally got the best of—" he was shocked when he lifted up the fez and it wasn't Stan, but Soos. "What?!"

For whatever reason he was wearing Stan's hat, Soos put his own hat back on. "Alright, something's definitely different here..."

Gideon grabbed the handyman, and threw him, Dipper, Mabel, and Patrick into a glass jar. The brat then shook them, making the four he's captured stumble around. "Tell me where Stan is!" Gideon demanded, while bringing the jar up to his face.

As Patrick, Dipper, and Mabel were leaning against the walls of the jar, Soos stood up and pointed to Gideon. "Never! you'll never find Stan: on the second door to the left down the hall." The Pines kids looked at him with wide eyes. Soos soon realized what he said and asked, "Wait, why did I say that?"

"Idiot!" Patrick exclaimed, before Gideon put the lid on the jar.

With an evil grin, Gideon put the jar in his suit jacket. "Oh Stanford, I'm coming for ya!" He said in a singing voice, as he started walking towards his destination.

Inside the jar, the four that were captured started hitting and pounding the jar to break it. Not even Patrick's crowbar could break it. When Mabel saw Gideon's picture on his school ID, she stuck her out tongue and made a raspberry at it.

Soos slid down the side of the jar and sat down. "I guess I kinda Soosed that one up, didn't I," he miserably asked, as Patrick patted him on the shoulder.

"It's not your fault, Soos, I'm the guy who put together that shrinking device," Dipper said, as Mabel sat down next to Patrick. The boy then looked at Mabel. "I guess it's just you kept teasing me Mabel, like all day. What was that all about?"

With an ashamed look, Mabel tossed him the notebook which keeps track of their wins and losses. "I guess it's that, you and Patrick are like better than me at like everything, and _you_ always rub it in my face..." Mabel said. Dipper flipped through the pages as his sister continued. "Chess, checkers, ping pong. I guess I finally felt like I was winning at something for once."

Seeing how much his bragging was hurting her, Dipper looked ashamed. "Oh man, now I feel like a big jerk," he said. And Patrick felt guilty too. He always won against her, but didn't take into consideration how she was feeling, nor saw how sad she was whenever Dipper won.

"Don't you mean a _little_ jerk?" Mabel joked, and the three family members laughed together.

"Alright, I walked into that one. Are we cool?" Dipper asked, holding out his fist. Patrick did the same.

"We're cool," Mabel said, and the three kids fist bumped.

Then Soos held out his fist. "Am I cool?"

"You're cool, Soos," Patrick said, giving his friend fist bump as well.

"Yes!"

As for Gideon, he walked down the hallway before entering into the mirror room. He gasped when he saw multiple Stans in the mirrors of the room. "Stanford!" He yelled.

Stan in all the mirrors noticed Gideon and smiled. "Oh, hi, Gideon, I've been looking for someone to try out my new mirror maze, then again, you're an idiot. That's the end of the sentence." Stan then leaves. Disappearing into the maze of mirrors.

Gideon put the flashlight in his other suit pocket. "You come back here!"

"Try and find me, twerp!" Gideon ran into the mirror maze as Stan laughed at him.

Back in the jar, Patrick had climbed onto Soos' shoulders and was pushing against the lid of the jar. Trying to turn it from the inside. However, Gideon didn't screw it on all the way due to his rush to shrink Stan. So, when Patrick turned the lid, it popped off. "Let's get back that flashlight before Gideon gets Stan," he said.

The four of them poked their heads out, before Dipper spotted the flashlight and pointed to it. "There it is!"

Knowing that Gideon would see them if they went across, Patrick led the others to climb up the kid's chest and onto his shoulder. There, they started to move along the back of Gideon's neck and shoulders.

However, Mabel looked at Gideon's white hair and was entranced by it. "Woah! His hair's so shiny!" She said, approaching the hair, before Patrick grabbed her and pulled Mabel away.

"No! Don't look directly at it!" He exclaimed.

Soos jumped on Gideon's neck. "His neck is really squishy!" He said, before moving his arms and legs up and down. "Hey look, I'm making fat angels."

Gibeon felt him and raised a hand. "Ew! Termites!" the boy hit back of his neck, making Soos fall off.

"Tell my storyyyyy!" Soos yelled as he fell before landing on a carpet. He survived, before looking around to see that Gideon was too far to try and catch up to him. But then he saw something else that got his interest. "Hey, there you are!" Diving down into the carpet, he picked up a single chip. "Thought you could get away from me, eh corn chip?" Soos took a bite out of the corn chip.

Seeing that he was okay, Patrick and the twins rushed to the other side of Gideon's shoulder. Watching him as the brat searched the room for Stan. He was stopped and startled when seeing one of Stan's reflections. Gideon screamed, pulling out the flashlight before Patrick and the twins could take it, and shoot a beam. However, it bounced off and around the mirrors and shrank a moose head on the wall.

Stan laughed at the little boy, before Gideon yelled, "NOW!" Throwing the flashlight and breaking the mirror in front of him.

"Hey! Watch the merchandise!" Stan yelled. However, this gave Gideon an idea. Picking up the flashlight, he started breaking ever mirror in sight, forcing Patrick and the twins to duck into one of Gideon's suit pocket to avoid getting hit by a shard of glass. This also made Stan step out and walk up to the boy. "You little troll! Those mirrors cost me ten, I mean twenty-five, five-hundred. Five-hundred dollars each, and you're paying for all of 'em!"

"Oh contraire. It will be you who pays!" Gideon declared, pointing the flashlight at him.

"Not so fast!" Suddenly, Veronica came out of nowhere and pointed her pistol, a m1911, at Gideon. "You want my cousin, then you're going to have to get by me." But the boy had shot a beam at her pistol. Her weapon shrank down to harmless sizes. Shocking Veronica and making her drop the 1911.

"Oh good, another Pines to annihilate!" Gideon said with glee, and cornered the two elders.

"Grunkle Stan and Graunt Veronica are doomed!" Mabel exclaimed, having seen that her family wasn't able to defend themselves.

"Not completely doomed!" Dipper said. "To his armpit!"

"Uh uh." Mabel shook her head.

Patrick pushed Mabel down into Gideon's clothing. "Just! Uh! Come on!"

After getting cornered, Stan looked to Veronica as she was up against the wall with him. "Veronica? What the hell is going on?! What is that thing?!"

"Long story. I'll explain later," she said, looking more worried at the kid pointing the shrinking flashlight at them.

"Finally, after all these years, after every humiliation! Your business, your family, everything will finally be mine! You have no one to protect you now! Prepare for the wrath of Gideon Glee—Gideon glee—" That's when Patrick, Dipper, and Mabel started tickling him, causing Gideon to fall to the ground and laugh uncontrollably.

Stan and Veronica glanced at one another. "Is…this how he usually is," as the older of the two.

"I don't even know how to respond to this." Stan gestured to Gideon. The boy continued to laugh uncontrollably, rolling around on the floor and kicking his feet. Gideon tried to cry out angrily and yell at them to stop, but he couldn't do it with his hysterical laughter. Feeling sorry for Gideon, Stan said, "Look um, kid. I think this rivalry thing is getting to you. Ha, I understand. I mean, I'm a formidable foe, what can I say."

"No!" Gideon tried to gain control of himself, but was now laughing so much that foam started to come out of his mouth.

Veronica and Stan were now sitting on both sides of the boy. "Hey now, come on, you'll get me one of these days. Maybe, you know, run your evil plan by some friends next time. Workshop it, but first get your issues in order there."

But as Gideon continued to laugh, Veronica took the flashlight from Gideon and looked at Stan and asked, "should we just, you know, get him out of the house?"

Seeing no other option, Stan agreed with a nod. Veronica set the flashlight on the ground before grabbing Gideon by the shoulders and Stan grabbed him by the legs. Together, they lifted him up, carried him up over the carpet, around the end table, and then out the door. Patrick, Dipper, and Mabel quickly jumped off and ran towards the flashlight.

When the two elderly people got out onto the porch, they threw Gideon across the ground. He landed on the dirt. When he finally got a hold of himself, Gideon patted himself and looked for the flashlight. Realizing that the old woman took it and set it inside the house, he yelled. "My light!"

Stan remarked sarcastically, "You're the light of my life too, pal." He then closed the door and sighed. "Whoa, freak show. So, what was that thing?"

"Oh? That? That's a long story." Veronica placed her hand on his shoulder and led him away from the room. At the flashlight, Patrick and the twins watched her, and saw her giving them a thumbs up behind her back.

Seeing that Veronica got Stan covered, Dipper turned the crystal around to grow. He then turned to Mabel and said, "After you."

"It's okay, you can go first if you want to. Woah!" Patrick sudden turned on the flashlight and grew both of the twins to normal size. Now that they were back to normal, with Mabel still taller, Dipper picked up the flashlight and shined it onto Patrick growing him back to normal.

"Finally!" Patrick stretched his arms. It felt good to be normal again. Patrick looked at Dipper and asked, "Aren't you going to give yourself another millimeter?"

"Nope, she earned it," Dipper said.

"Awww! Thanks!" Mabel hugged him with an arm around his neck, making Dipper bend a little. "Little brothe-!"

"Stop it!"

"Well, I guess we should destroy this thing," Mabel said, while Dipper handed the flashlight to Patrick. "You know, so it doesn't fall into the wrong hands and junk."

"Seems like the smart thing to do," said the teenager, taking the crystal off the flashlight, before dropping the height altering object to the floor. He then stomped on it and crushed it with his shoes. Once it was done, the three kids grinned.

"There you dudes are!" They heard Soos' voice and looked down. He was standing in front of some glass that he has arranged to spell 'HELP SOOS'. "I've been trying to get your attention."

Patrick lifted his foot off of the shattered crystal. "We should get another crystal, right?"

"Yeah," said the twins.

* * *

 **And that ends "Little Dipper" on "Weirder Things", and now we're moving onto the Mabel centered episode of "The Deep End."**

 **I'm skipping over "Boss Mabel" because I honestly do have a reason to do it. It's just not a very rememberable episode for me and it just wouldn't provide a lot for the story. Plus, I really wanted to get to "Deep End" because of the fact that Mabel actually is about to find some love, even though it's short lived. And it also has Patrick x Wendy development.**

 **Not sure what I'm going to have Dipper doing in the episode.**

 **And that's another thing. I've been asked who the voice actor of Patrick Pines would likely be if he was really in the show. I'm not really sure. Who would you guys pick?**

 **Thank you very much for reading. "Weirder Things" will return. Please be sure to Favorite and Follow if you like the story, and also Review it so that I know that I'm doing good and what to improve. If you any questions or discussions you'd have for me, then please in a Review or a PM me.**

 **Thank you for reading, may God bless you, and have a wonderful day.**


	13. The Deep End

**Wolfking0811:** I agree with you.

 **MAJORMATT1234:** Yeah, a good. Day at the pool is wonderful. And I just don't hear it with Ryan Reynolds. That's just me.

 **Gamelover41592:** Thanks, and I hope you enjoy this chapter.

 **Jack Kings:** I've never heard his voice when he's just talking. I don't watch much of his videos.

 **shinshinjane:** As much as I didn't like Mabel in the episode, I didn't want to hurt her all too much. And that's a good idea for Pacifica.

 **coldblue2015:** Sorry I didn't respond to the review, but I will say that I really do like that idea for the backstory with Stanford and Veronica.

 **LoamyCoffee:** Thanks, I'm happy to hear that. And sorry, I just don't hear Will Friedle as Patrick.

 **SRPA Sentinel:** It's one of my favorites too, and yeah, Stan knows a lot more, but that'll wouldn't be talked about a lot for now.

 **Guest (Bobby Jenkins):** Yeah, but I'm going to go with Erza because out of all the _Fairy Tail_ girls, she's my favorite. I like Lucy too, but I also like Natsu X Lucy as well. So That'll be a side pairing as well. And the OC will be able to turn into Godzilla. His power will be explained in the story.

 **Chance Green G King:** I agree with you. I can just hear his voice as Patrick's.

 **IrishKatana:** I've already picked a voice.

 **Laci the Hunter:** actually, what I was going to do was instead of tree sap trapping the dinosaurs, the Land Before Swine chapter will involve time portals that dinosaurs accidently go through and end up in present times.

 **South Down:** Okay.

 **RedHood001:** Thank you for the review.

 **gods-own:** Thank you.

 **Dracus6:** I will not do a TMNT story and I'm serious not looking for a RWBY story to do. I just don't want to do a RWBY story. Now, the chapter? What do you think about it?

 **Guest (Kamen rider W):** I will.

 **gabeherndon308:** I'm not going to do the siren episode, and I'm changing Elijah Wood to Vic Mignona.

* * *

If there were a hell on earth, it was Gravity Falls during a heat wave. And at 110 degrees, the town was looking at the hottest day of the summer! Inside the Mystery Shack, with the air conditioning out because of the hot frying it, the house was a melting pot. Wax Stan melted, the wallpaper curled and peeled off by itself, and water in the fish tank boiled due to the heat. Not enjoying the heat, Patrick ditched his shirt and was holding an electric fan up to his face as he sat in the kitchen. Mabel, Dipper, Stan, and Soos were in the living room and were tortured by the heat too. Dipper took his shirt off and was fanning himself with his hat. Soos had taken all of his clothes, but kept his underwear on. Mabel was wearing a tank-top and short shorts, and Stan was laying on the floor in his lazy clothes and an empty ice cream tub on his stomach.

" _Watch out, Gravity Falls, because at 110 degrees, we're looking at the hottest day of the summer!"_ Toby Determined stated the obvious on the radio. Patrick looked out the window and saw the squirrel running across the grass, before erupting into flames.

"Another one bit the dust," Patrick said, grabbed a dry-erase board and placing another tally down. That was the seventh squirrel today. "More like bit the ashes."

"All in favor of doing nothing all day say 'ugh,'" Dipper muttered. All of them instantly moan their response. The only one that wasn't affected was Waddles. The pig walked into the living room and up to Stan's head.

"I'm gonna throw this pig out of the house!" Stan yelled, but then Waddles started licking some of the ice cream off his cheek. "You called my bluff, pig."

" _On the bright side, pun very much intended, it's opening week at the Gravity Falls Pool."_ Toby's announcement made the five people in the house perk up.

"Gravity Falls Pool?" Mabel shot up.

"Opening week?" Dipper jumped off the chair.

"Today?" Patrick echoed with an excited grin.

"Pun intended?" Soos added, sitting upright.

"Quick! To the car!" Everyone got up to get ready to go, but when Stan tried to get up, he found himself stuck to the floor. It must have been all of the sweat he expelled from his body. "Hey, kids, a little help here?" Patrick grabbed the crowbar from the table, before sticking the flat end under Stan. With all of his strength, he pried Stan off the floor. "Alright! Off to the pool!"

Stan turned around and walked out the door. Not realizing that his back still the wooden floorboards stuck to him when Patrick broke him free. Leaving a hold in the floor. Patrick turned to the twins and asked, "How do you think it'll take him to find out?"

" _And remember to be on alert for random wildfires!"_

"Wait, what?" Stan stopped out in the sun, before his body suddenly combusted. As he screamed in agony, Patrick grabbed the fire extinguisher and ran outside to put out the fire.

Mabel then turned to Dipper. "He'll be fine?"

* * *

 **{Play** _ **The Terror**_ **opening theme** **}**

 _The intro begins by fading in a scene of the road sign that said Welcome to Gravity Falls, Oregon, before fading into blackness._

 _We then see a view of the town of Gravity Falls, with the strangely shaped canyons in the background, and the sun going down between the two land formations. As the sun was setting, the day turns to a blue night. However, a sinister red light comes from over the horizon. Shining between the canyon._

 _The next scene is of a large, dinosaur footprint in the ground. It then changed to show the trees of the forest at night, and a pair of glowing eyes staring at the view, before the camera switched to a wider shot and showed many more eyes staring at the viewer. The next scene was a far back show of two men dumping a body into the lake, and as that body sank down it was swallowed by a massive creature._

PATRICK

 _The teenage Pines is shown in a freeze shot of him walking in the woods with a lantern and his crowbar in hand. Behind him, Bill's eye in the sky looked down at him._

DIPPER

 _The male twin is looking down at the journal with a flashlight. Not noticing that there was a Pteranodon staring down at him, ready to eat him._

MABEL

 _The female twin is the final one to be seen, and it showed her wearing a sweater that lit up because it was plugged into an outlet. But in another, farther away shot show's Gideon's hand controlling her like she was a marionette._

 _The finale of the intro shows the Mystery Shack as the sun goes down behind it and the trees of the forest. When the sun goes down and the night came, and just like the beginning, the red light appears, but then a blue light shined from inside the Mystery Shack._

 _Then the screen when black and title of the story appeared in a flash of light._

 _ **WEIRDER THINGS**_

 _It then disappeared, before the chapter title appeared._

 **Chapter Thirteen**

 **The Deep End**

* * *

When the family got to the pool, they saw that almost everyone in Gravity Falls had the same idea as them, as people were already there and having fun. The pool itself was large and rectangular, and it had a diving board. There are lounge chairs surrounding it, as well as a concession stand, a bathroom, and a supply shack. The entire pool area was enclosed with a chain link fence.

"Ah, the pool! A sparkling oasis of summer enchantment!" Mabel announced as she gestured to the surroundings, wearing a pink swimsuit with a yellow star on the front. Stan wore a light and dark gray striped swim shirt and shorts, with his fez still on his head. Soos was wearing a pair of purple swim trunks, Dipper had on a pair of red swim shorts, and Patrick was wearing a skin tight red and blue swim shirt and blue swim trunks, and also kept on his boonie hat.

"Yeah, nothing like sitting in a moist tub with strangers," Stan argued grumpily. Likely not happy with how many people showed up at the pool. "It's like the bus, but wet."

Dipper looked over at the beach towel Soos was carrying and frowned. "Why would a sun need to wear sunglasses?"

"It's best not to think about it," Soos said.

"This is going to be fun!" Patrick said with a smile. "No weirdness. No people trying to kill us. Just a normal day at the pool."

He just had to jinx them.

Mabel suddenly stopped. "Whoa, whoa! Stop the presses! Who's that?" They all looked towards where she was looking and saw a handsome young man around her age whose hair was blowing in the wind. He had dark skin, long, wavy, shiny brown hair and three tiny hairs under a long nose. By the look of it, he looked Hispanic. He was wearing a seashell necklace and had a pool raft in front of him.

"Oh brother," Patrick groaned. He knew that she was about to go through another one of her boy-crazy phase and that guy was her new crush.

"Oh, yeah," said Soos, eating some corn chips from a bag. "Word is, dude never leaves the pool. People say he's a 'Mysterious loner.'" He whispered that last part into Mabel's ear, before backing away from the brunette while eating his corn chips.

Mabel started fanning herself with her hands. "Is it getting hot out here or is it just that guy?"

"It's the hottest day of the year, Mabel," Patrick said. "Besides, can't you go for one week without having a new crush on some random guy? The last time you did, the guy turned out be gnomes! Are you sure that he's not going to be something worse?"

"Positive." Mabel replied, before gasping. "Look at his little mustache hairs!" Patrick looked at the boy and saw the mustache hairs. Must have hit puberty really early.

"You are clearly enamored. Go to him," Soos told her breathlessly. Mabel took off, running across the pool, but tripped across a bucket and stumbled on two men in lawn chairs, and then knock her head against a basket of beach balls. But she wasn't done, and continued towards the young man. "It's so beautiful!"

"I can just feel the headache coming around," Patrick said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Eh, Mabel's all talk," Dipper told the others. "You wanna know a secret? She's never even kissed a guy before. She always messes it up somehow."

"Oi. Women." Stan said with a shake of his head, before a water balloon was thrown in his face. Exploding water everywhere and making him scream in shock.

Patrick looked at where it came from and was met with a sight to behind.

"Hey, Mr. Pines!" said Wendy, sitting up on the lifeguard stand and a bucket of water balloons next to her. She was without her lumberjack hat, which allowed for her beautiful long red hair to be fully seen. As for what she was wearing, it was a simple red swimsuit that fits her body perfectly in all the right places. Matching her red color, it made her freckles and green eyes stand out, and showed off her smooth legs. And there was also a whistle.

As Patrick stared at her with his eyes twinkling, taken aback by her beauty, Stan wiped the water off his face and asked, "Wendy? Where's the lifeguard?"

"I am the lifeguard. I make the rules, sucka!" Wendy grabbed a water balloon and threw it at Stan. "Boosh!"

Stan dodged the first balloon, before seeing Wendy had two more. "Aah! She's attacking me with water!" He yelled, running away from her, as she threw the other two.

Patrick, Dipper, Soos, and Soos laughed at as they watched him run off. Dipper then whispered to his cousin and said, "I'll leave you and Wendy alone."

When his cousin walked away, Patrick turned to Wendy and smiled. "Wow. You work here," he asked, wanting to spend time with her.

"I found out lifeguards get free snack privileges," she said, before pointing down at her highchair. "Plus, I get the best seat in the house."

"Yeah, you do!" Patrick exclaimed with enthusiasm before laughing. But then he stopped and whispered, "Why am laughing so long...?" He stared at her again, and couldn't look away.

"Dude, are you and Wendy having a secret staring contest," asked Soos. "'Cause I think you're winning—"

"Soos! Shh!" Patrick quickly pushes Soos away, hoping that Wendy didn't hear him. Wendy looked confused at Patrick. "So, hey, you wanna go chuck more water balloons at Stan," Patrick asked her.

I'd love to, but I gotta spend the day doing tryouts. We're looking for a new assistant lifeguard," Wendy told him, gesturing to the second stand next to her.

Patrick's eyes widened. This was it. This was the chance he's been waiting for! He could get the job as the assistant lifeguard, hangout with Wendy for not only the day, but the whole summer at the pool. This could actually lead to him growing their relationship. "What if I was the assistant lifeguard?"

"That would be so much fun! You're totally in, dude!" Wendy exclaimed in excitement and threw a rescue can at Patrick, who caught it. "You just have to check in with my boss first, Mr. Poolcheck."

"Your boss?" Patrick looked at where she was pointing to and saw a tall, muscular, tan-skinned man with sharp, angular features. He had a square jaw, an Adam's apple, prominent cheek bones, and a low brow, giving him constant narrowed eyes. He had short blonde hair with a receding hair line. He wore a red polo shirt, white shorts, white tennis shoes, a gray whistle over his neck and a dab of sun lotion on his nose that gave him a typical lifeguard look.

The masculine man threw down his clipboard and took a deep breath. Poolcheck then got down and did pushups with hand claps, before doing pushups with his index fingers.

He turned his head in Patrick's direction, making Patrick gasped. This was going to be intense.

As he walked over to her boss, Wendy was left to wonder why she was so happy that Patrick wanted to join her in the pool job. Sure, she was excited for him to be the assistant lifeguard, but when he offered to work, Wendy really happy. She felt a similar feeling when Patrick turned out to be alright after she saved him from the Summer Trickster. Compared how she's been feeling around with Robbie recently, bring around Patrick made her feel genuinely happy.

* * *

The boy that Mabel was attracted to was drinking lemonade. Enjoying his time at the pool. But then suddenly, Mabel bursted out of the water with a gasp of air next to him. "Wow! Oh my gosh, how crazy bumping into you even though we don't know each other!" She said, using a really lame pick-up line.

But just like any normal person, the boy stared at her like she was strange. "How long have you been underwater," he asked in a deep, thick Spanish accent.

"That doesn't matter!" Mabel suddenly coughed up a band-aid. Quick to act like it didn't happen, she turned back to the boy and said, "So, hey! My name's Mabel."

"Hola." The boy said in Spanish

"Whoa! Are you Australian?"

He laughed. "I am charmed by your sense of humor," he said, stating the obvious. "And your bold lack of water-wings!"

Mabel didn't know what he was talking about, but she laughed. "You're so funny! And your hair is beautiful..." She reached out and touched his hair, but he pushed her hand away.

"No, no it has silly tangles!" He said, grabbing his hair.

"Mind if I..." Mabel pulled out a comb from the water, and began to brush his hair.

"Why, Mabel. You are so forward," he said, pleasantly surprised.

As he started to laugh, Mabel knew that this was it. It was clear he liked her. It was time for Mabel to ask him out on a date. "So, hey, you wanna go dry off? Maybe hit the snack bar or—?"

"I-I'm afraid I cannot!" The boy said in a dramatic way. "For I have a terrible secret! I must go." The boy swam away with his raft, leaving Mabel all by herself.

Mabel looked at him sadly. "I'm upset," she said, before looking more interested in the boy. "Yet intrigued!"

* * *

"And that is why I think I'd make a good lifeguard assistant," Patrick told Poolcheck, telling him that he was responsible and can handle a problem. He watched the man as he finished crudely hammering in the last of several nails it a sign that said DO NOT TOUCH! as it was attached to the storage door.

Poolcheck then turned and got really close to Patrick's face. Sniffing him, before saying, "SPF 100? Good, I like you." He backed away, and stood tall with his hands behind his back. "But this isn't an easy job. It's anarchy out there." When he pointed out to the water, Patrick looked and saw that there were only a few elderly civilians lounging in the pool.

"I think I can handle it," Patrick said after looking at the perfectly calm scene.

"Can you handle THIS?!" Poolcheck suddenly pulled his hand right off his arm. Patrick screamed, but thankfully it was only a prosthetic. "I lost my _hand_ to a pool filter. The pool may seem friendly, but she can turn on you in an instant. Which is why you must respect her rules!" After putting it back on, the man grabbed Patrick by his arms and looked at him right in the eyes. "Do you think you have what it takes, boy? Do you?!"

Patrick looked at Wendy, who was giving him a thumbs up. He was not going to lose this chance. "Positive."

Mr. Poolcheck then took off his whistle and puts it around Patrick's neck. "Welcome to the deep end, son," he said at eye level with the teenager.

"Well, thanks, I—" Patrick was interrupted when Mr. Poolcheck brought him into a hug that basically strangled the life out the poor boy. "Please, let me go."

* * *

Meanwhile, with Wendy, she had just seen Stan about to attack that creep Gideon Gleeful for taking his chair. So, deciding to take her job seriously, Wendy looked up Stan in the pool jail. "Come on, Wendy!" Stan begged as he sat on a bench between two other boys in pool jail. "You can't do this to an old man!"

"Sorry, Stan, it's not up to me," Wendy said, before chuckling. "Actually, it is."

Patrick ran over to Wendy and held up the whistle he was given. "Hey, Wendy, I got the job!" He proclaimed after the ginger locked up his Grunkle.

"Sweet! Wanna go abuse our power?" She asked.

"Sure, but what about Poolcheck catching us?" Patrick asked with a nervous expression. The two teenagers looked at Mr. Poolcheck, who was doing sit-ups on the chain-link fence. His bones making these really creepy sounds when he came up. Looking around for a moment, Poolcheck went back down. "He seems…disturbed."

"Nah, don't worry, man. You just gotta be sneaky about your rule-breaking," She said, before pointing at Patrick. "Race you to the no running sign!" Wendy took off, and Patrick ran after her. However, Patrick slowed down. When he glanced over and saw Poolcheck drinking water from the pool for some reason. Poolcheck stared right at him and licked the extra water off his face. When he wasn't looking, Patrick ran after Wendy again. He was going to do everything he could to make sure he kept the job and spent time with her.

As for Stan, one of the kids with him asked, "How long you in for?"

"Two hours for roughhousing, but it's bullshit!" Stan exclaimed. "I'm innocent!"

"Pool jail ain't so bad," said the other boy, before looking somewhere else. "As long as you don't wind up in solitary."

The solitary confinement was actually the pool drain, and it was built nearly underwater, under the concrete with classic jail cell bars. Inside it was a kid trapped inside and looking really miserable. "It's the nights that are the hardest."

* * *

Back to the boy that Mabel was crushing on, he was just staying where he was. Mabel then came poking her head out of the water, but then dropped under again when he looked in her direction. Again, Mabel appeared, but ducked yet again when the boy thought he heard her.

Mabel then popped out of the water and yelled, "Hey there!" The boy screamed because of her. She then brought up a soggy sandwich. "I brought you a sandwich. It's sort of wet, but it's still good. Blop." The female twin put the sandwich on the inflatable raft. "I like sharing things. Sandwiches, secrets." Mabel leaned closer to him and whispered, "Share your secret, beautiful stranger."

"That wet sandwich does look delicious," He said before a breeze came and his hair blows in the wind. "Oh, very well. But you must never tell another living soul my terrible secret."

Mabel nodded.

"You have to stay away from me because I am..." The boy pushed his inflatable raft away from him. Revealing a scaled green fish-like tail that was darker towards his waist and lighter towards his tail-tip. "...A merman."

Mabel looked at the tail in shook for only a minute. "Oh, thank goodness. I thought you were gonna say you had a girlfriend!" She said, wiping her head. This was better than how the Gnomes and Gideon turned out to be. This explained a lot and brought her some relief. "A merman... ha! I should have known from your strange foreign fish language."

The boy looked at her like she was stupid. "It is Spanish."

"Your voice is so deep and masculine... how old are you," Mabel asked.

"I am 12 years old. Merman's voices change when we are, like, 3." **(AN: that's disturbing.)**

"So, what's your name?"

"There are some who call me..." He pulled a guitar out of the water and played a chord on it. "Mermando! This is because Mermando is my name."

"But I don't understand Mermando. What's a guy like you doing in a public pool?"

"It is a tragic story, Mabel."

"I was swimming with my friends, the mighty dolphins, in the Gulf of Mexico, when I was ensnared! The cargo was headed for Gravity Falls. Using all my strength, I tried to escape back home, but it was not to be. I would have died of dehydration, were if not for the kindness of the forest animals. But now that you know what I am, you must be seriously weirded out."

For normal people, that answer would be yes, but Mabel wasn't like normal people. "What?! I don't care that you're a merman. You're, like, the coolest guy I've ever met. And you can play at least one chord on the guitar," she said.

Deeply touched by her words, Mermando said, "Oh, Mabel, I have never met another human like you. Would you care to join me in a game of the Marco Polo?"

"Oh, yes, Mermando! Yes!" Mabel yelled, crushing Mermando in a hug.

"You are covering my gills. I cannot breathe." Mabel quickly lets go and Mermando gasped for air. However, he wasn't mad at her at all.

Mabel chuckled and said, "Weird."

* * *

Meanwhile, Dipper was walking onto the diving board and jumped into the water. He then came up to the surface and wiped his head of the water in his eyes. With a sigh, he said, "Nothing like a day in the water."

Suddenly, someone jumped off the diving board and splashed into the water next to him. Dipper turned around and saw the person come to the surface. At first, all he could barely see their face, but when he saw the locks of long, blonde hair that shimmered in the sunlight, he couldn't help but stare at the girl. Her hair, her skin, it was all prefect and the purple bikini also helped show off her beauty.

The girl noticed that she was being watched and turned towards Dipper.

And to his horror, it was Pacifica Northwest!

The two of them screamed when they saw each other, before stopping and stared at one another. Pacifica's expression turned to anger, still remembering how Dipper stole her first kiss. But then she smirked and said in a snobby tone. "Well, if it isn't the lamest one of the Pines family!"

"And if it isn't the blonde little miss queen of the Northwest family," Dipper sent the insult right back at her. "Speaking of which, how's that whole 'your family being a frauds' thing working out for you?"

"Great, actually! That's the thing about money!" Pacifica said, looking at her nails. "It makes problems go away!"

Dipper scuffed and looked pretty smugly at her. "But it couldn't get you a better wig than that _mop_." However, that may have been the wrong thing to say, because looked at him with the same look of anger that Dipper was _very_ familiar with when he kissed her multiple times, trying to not get kissed! She pouched on him, and the two kids started to get into a fight. Suddenly a whistle was blown.

* * *

Patrick slammed the poor jail door on Dipper and Pacifica, after dragging the two out of the water and had them thrown in. Locking the lock, he walked away. "Talk it out, you two!"

Dipper sat a little uncomfortable next to Pacifica, who looked pissed with a pout and her arms crossed. He turned his head to her and was about to say something, but then she put her face against his and pointed at his chest. "Don't…say…a damn word!" She wanted him, before moving as far away from Dipper as possible. Dipper, meanwhile, still couldn't believe that he actually though that Pacifica of all people was beautiful.

Patrick walked back to where Wendy was hiding, behind the storage shed. They were looking around the corner with a megaphone, getting ready to prank Soos. The two teenagers have been hanging out together most of the day, making sure that the pool rules were followed and having their own fun When he put on an inflatable duck around his waist, Wendy used the megaphone and said in a weird voice. "Soos."

Soos was surprised and looked down at the head of the duck. "Inflatable duck guy, is that you?"

"Yes, Soos, I can talk."

"Oh my gosh, I knew you guys were secretly alive. I _knew_ it!" Patrick and Wendy both laugh together and tell each other to shush quietly by putting their fingers to each other's lips.

"My people have been enslaved, Soos. You must free us."

"The inflatable pool duck revolution is at hand," Soos, slowly walking towards the open storage room door.

Patrick and Wendy laugh again, but then suddenly they heard a whistle. Mr. Poolcheck was riding around in his golf cart and yelled at people with his microphone. "Pool's closing! Clear out everyone!"

"Poolcheck!" Patrick gasped.

"Hide!" Wendy said, and the two teenagers ran off.

"Out! Do not touch!" Poolcheck snapped at Soos when he came around and saw Soos about to reach for the inflatable ducks. The man then noticed Patrick. "Assistant Lifeguard!" Patrick stopped, incredibly nervous as the cart pulled up right next to him. "Have a good night, son," Poolcheck kindly said, before taking off his hand and forced a ring of keys to fall out of it. Patrick caught them. "Lock up the supplies for me."

As he drove off, Patrick walked over to the supply door and locked it.

Meanwhile Mabel and Mermando brushing each other's hair and laughing. Just like with her cousin and his crush, the two hung out most of the day and having fun with each other. But their fun came to an end when the whistle was blown.

"The pool, she closes," Mermando said, seeing people leaving the pool. "Can I see you tonight?"

"Sure. Where? Wanna go for a walk," Mabel asked.

"…Merman. I am a merman."

"Oh, right." Mabel got out of the pool ran off to join her family. "Then I'll be back tonight." Mermando smiled and waved goodbye at her.

* * *

At night, Mabel waited when Patrick and Dipper were asleep, before sneaking out of the house. After she grabbed her scrapbook, the girl drove the golf cart to the pool. When she arrived at the pool, Mabel got out of the cart and ran up to the fence. Seeing the landing net, Mabel grabbed it and used it to climb up the fence. Bending it as she stepped on it.

She ran pass the 'NO TRESPASSING' sign and got in the pool with Mermando. "Look! Here's a scrapbook of human stuff," Mabel said, opening her scrape book and pointing to the first few pictures. "Here's me standing with my legs. And here I am kicking Dipper in his legs. He couldn't move his legs after that! Can you imagine? Not having legs?"

How is she not in jail?

Mermando looked a bit angry. "Let's skip this part."

Mabel pointed at another picture and said, "And here's my whole family kick boxing!" This just resulted in Mermando sighing and swimming away from Mabel. Worried, she followed him. "What's wrong?"

Mermando took his guitar out from the water and played it. However, it didn't sound good, and he angrily poured the water out. When he calmed down, he said, "I, too, used to have a family once. back in the ocean." He grabbed his seashell necklace opened it and looked inside. In it was his family's picture, with the family consisting of a father, a mother, Mermando himself, and a baby brother. All with the same tails and necklaces. "How I miss them." A single tear ran down his face as he closed the necklace.

Feeling sad for him, Mabel placed a hand on his shoulder. "Mermando, why don't you just leave the pool?"

"I've tried only once, but escaping this pool required a plan that was bold and daring." By bold and daring, he meant jumping out the pool, only to not get far and flapped for water. He hit the chairs, a parasol, and got hit by a woodpecker. Then he rolled into the pool. "And then the wolves came." What wolves? He then turned to Mabel and changed the topic. "No, I'm glad that I'm here, 'cause I met you," he said, looking up at the night sky, with a shooting star flying over the mountain and Mermando's head.

' _This is it, Mabel. First kiss moment, here we come! Just go for it!'_ Mabel thought to herself before puckering her lips and leaning towards Mermando to try to kiss him.

However, she stopped when Mermando stared weirdly at her and asked, "What are you doing with your mouth?"

"Me? Nothing. This? I was eating some sour candy. So, my lips were doing that. The candy was so sour." She said, trying to quickly pass it off. Luckily for her, Mermando believed her.

"…Can I have some candy?"

"…No."

* * *

Daytime came again, and the Pines family was back at the pool again. Patrick and Wendy were back to work as the lifeguards. Just like yesterday, they started messing with some of the people instead of doing their job. Patrick then came up with a game involving the lifesavers. Their targets where Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland, who were putting sunscreen on each other.

As they stood on the lifeguard chairs, the Pines teenager threw his lifesaver down at Blub, trapping him. "Wha-what the?"

Then Wendy threw hers onto Durland, getting him trapped. "I'm scared!" He cried out.

"Me too!"

"One hundred points!" Patrick declared, as the incompetent policemen rolled around on the floor.

"Dude! With this job, you and I are gonna be havin' fun all summer!" Wendy exclaimed with a grin.

Patrick blushed and gave her a smile. "All summer?" A whistle suddenly blew, getting their attention.

The person that blew the whistle was none other than Poolcheck, who glared up at the two teenagers. "PINES! Here! NOW!" He yelled, pointing at Blubs and Durland as they rolled on the ground with the lifesavers still on them. Patrick and Wendy glanced worriedly at each other, before the boy climbed down. He was now standing in front of the pool supplies building and Mr. Poolcheck was pacing in front of him like an angry drill sergeant that was trying and failing to keep calm. "You gave me your word that you would respect the safety rules of this pool!"

Patrick looked closely and saw that the man had tears in his eyes. "Mr. Poolcheck? Are you crying?"

Poolcheck turned around and yelled in Patrick's face with some red on his face. "That's not important right now!" He quickly wiped his eyes. "You are on thin ice, boy! You wanna keep this job? Well, some maniac broke in to the supply closet last night and destroyed our one and only pool skimmer!" Poolcheck held up the dented pool skimmer in front of Patrick's face. "I want you on a stakeout. If one more supply gets taken, you're fired!"

Patrick saluted and said with confidence, "I won't let you down."

As that was going on, Mabel was getting ready to hit a ball to Mermando. "Mermando, get ready! I'm gonna BRING THE HEAT!" She threw the ball to Mermando, however, he got sadly hit by the ball. Not even reacting to getting his face hit. He simply looked down at the raft he was using. "Mermando, are you okay?"

Mermando swam over to Mabel, and she immediately knew.

"Oh, it's your family, isn't it? Are you thinking about them?" Mermando replied by nodding and making a dolphin sound. "Mermando, enough is enough! I care about you too much to see you like this. We're ganna bust you out of here and get you back to your family."

"But Mabel! Escape is impossible." Mermando said, believing that to be the truth after all of his failed attempts to get out. However, Mabel wasn't giving up on him.

"We're breaking you out of here tonight!" Mabel yelled and hit the water with her fist, only for it to splash in their faces. "Oops! Sorry about that. Water."

* * *

When night came, Patrick was the only one remaining at the pool. After getting some food-to-go from a local fast-food restaurant, he came back, ate, and was ready to begin guarding the pool. He paced around the pool with a flashlight, his whistle, and his crowbar in hand. He was also wearing a new hat that said 'Night Patrol' on it. "Alright, Patrick, here's the plan. Catch the trespasser, protect the supplies, keep job at pool, and eventually marry Wendy," he said to himself. He suddenly heard a sound and turned around. "Freeze!"

Patrick shined the light towards where the sound was heard, and it turned out to be Stan cutting the fence.

When then selection of fence Stan was cutting fell to the ground, Patrick asked, "Stan?"

"I-uh, I'm sleepwalking! Also, now I'm sleep-talking," Stan quickly lied, before pointing at Patrick's hat. "Nice hat, by the way."

"Wait a minute. You're the one destroying pool supplies!" Patrick exclaimed accusingly.

"What? No! My crime is a lot better than that. I'm gonna get that seat and be ready at the morning when the bastard Gideon comes. And maybe I'll destroy some pool supplies. Night's still young." When he said that, Patrick was quick to blow his whistle, making the old man back off. "Yeesh, alright, I'm goin'!" Stan started walking a little, but then he made a run for it to the pool.

"Hey! You dick!" Patrick yelled and ran after him. Leaving the hole in the fence wide open for Mabel to drive the golf cart out of the bushes and through the fence.

In the pool, Mermando noticed Mabel by the lights of the cart. "Mabel!" He called out and swam to her. Mabel got out of the cart and picked the lock of the supply door with a hairpin, before opening it to reveal that there was a cooler inside.

"Are you ready to see your family," Mabel asked him.

"Yes, but how can I, a merman, possibly escape?"

"Okay, my original plan was to tape together a bunch fish sticks to make you a prosthetic pair of people legs," Mabel explained, after reaching into her sweater and pulled out the original plan she came up with. She handed it to Mermando, and he saw a drawing of him wearing a fishbowl on his head and walking around with his fish stick legs.

"Intriguing…" Mermando nodded.

"But then I realized that I could just transport you in this cooler," Mabel said after putting the cooler in the back of the golf cart and was now filling it with water. Mermando leapt out of the pool and started flopping around like a fish out of water. Knocking over some supplies. After a pause, he hopped into the cooler.

Everything was going according to plan, until they heard Patrick yelling, "Hey! Who's there!" They could see him walking around the corner of a building with his flashlight.

"Quick! Hide me! My kind must not be seen!" Mermando crammed himself into the cooler, and Mabel shut the lid.

That's when Patrick came over and shined his light on her. "Mabel? Really?! Is there anyone not breaking into the pool tonight?!" Patrick complained. First, he had to deal with Stan's shenanigans and now his hyperactive cousin. "Who's next? Soos?"

And as if on cue, Patrick didn't even need to turn around to know that Soos was climbing the fence behind him and fell to the ground. "I'm okay."

"Go home, Soos," Patrick order.

"You got it."

While Soos struggled to get back over the fence, Patrick questioned his cousin, "So, why are you here?"

"Uh, no reason," Mabel lied nervously, before Mermando cleared his throat from within the cooler. Which also made the lid move slightly.

"Did that cooler just clear its throat?" Patrick inquired with a suspicious look.

"Don't be silly. There certainly isn't a merman in there, if that's what you're implying. Who said anything about a merman?"

Just that line delivery made Patrick know that she was lying, as obvious was it already was. "Look, Mabel, I don't know about what's going on with you, but it stops now. If you don't give me those supplies, I'll lose the coolest job ever!

Mabel sighed. "I understand. Hey, look!" However, the girl twin suddenly pointed at something behind her cousin. "Wendy in a bikini!

Patrick instantly turned around with excitement. "Really? Where is she?" He looked around with hope that it was true.

"Sorry, Patrick!" Mabel exclaimed after she got in the golf cart and started driving away with the cooler. She drove the golf cart right through the gate, making another hole.

"You bitch!" Patrick shouted and ran over to the pool cart that had a pool skimmer, a microphone, and a bucket of water balloons. He buckled in his seat belt and started the engine with the key. Flooring the gas, Patrick followed after Mabel.

"Go, Mabel, go!" The poor kid in solitary confinement cheered for her. But then looked down sadly. "We can't all be saved."

* * *

Both carts were now driving down the streets of Gravity Falls, going at equal speeds. "I'm gonna get you home!" Mabel said to Mermando. He gave her a thumbs up, until a water balloon hits the cooler. Patrick had used to the pool skimmer in the cart as a catapult to fire at Mabel.

He then pulled out the megaphone and put it to his mouth. "Hand over the pool supplies in the name of pool law!" He said through it.

"Pool law suck! And so is your hat!" Mabel yelled back at him. Patrick responded by putting a water balloon in the net of the pool skimmer and pulled it back. Letting it go to launch the balloon at Mabel's cart. Patrick continued to fire the water balloons at the golf cart, forcing Mabel to dodge them.

Mabel then saw a sign that pointed to the direction of the lake, which was only 3 miles away. "Look! Gravity Falls lake!" She made a sharp turned to the right and drove towards the lake, with her cousin in hot pursuit.

Soon they were off the asphalt roads and driving on dirt traits. Mabel maneuvered down it and got back on the main road. Driving by a sign of Gideon, where the two policemen of Gravity Falls were sleeping in their car.

Patrick fired another water balloon at the cooler and hit the nuzzle of the water drain. Causing the water to be poured out. In the cooler, Mermando desperately tried to keep himself hydrated by slashing the water on his body and gills. But it wasn't enough, and he started to choke on by a lack of air. "I cannot breathe! You must hurry!" He told Mabel.

Mabel stepped on it and droves the cart towards the lake. When she saw the large body of water, she stepped on the brakes, causing her and the cooler to fall off the cart as it flipped over. Patrick gasped and slam on the brake. He swerved to a stop, before stepping out of the cart. "Mabel!?"

"I'm okay." Mabel assured him, getting up and dust off her clothes.

"What the hell were you thinking!?" Patrick yelled at her as he stormed over to his cousin. "You could have gotten yourself killed! Now hand over that cooler!"

"Never!" Mabel yelled, placing herself on it and held on tightly.

"Mabel, I don't understand what's going on with you," Patrick said. "Why do you even need it?"

Realizing that there was no way out of it, Mabel spilled the beans. "I needed the cooler to save my new friend because he needs to go home and he's really nice and we combed each other's hair and he needs to be in the cooler because he breathes water because he's a merman!" She explained, before pulling the lid open, letting Mermando roll out onto dry land.

"Hola." Mermando greeted Patrick, and waved his tail.

"Whoa!" Patrick eyes widened at the sight of the tail as water dripped off the end. "Isn't this the kid from the pool?"

As Mermando sat up, Mabel introduced them. "Patrick, Mermando the merman. He's a merman."

"Nice to meet you. Also, I think I am dying," said the merman, before Mermando started to gasp and his face started to change to a blue color. He fell on his back and struggled to breath. "Water! Agua! Yo necesito!" While he begged, a fly landed on his eye, and the boy didn't even blink.

"Oh, no! Mermando!" Mable exclaimed, waved the fly away. When Mermando closed his eyes, she kneeled down and lifted up his head. "Patrick, you're a lifeguard! Give him CPR!"

"Mermen don't breathe air! I'll be right back!" Patrick ran as fast as could to the pool cart and grabbed the last water balloon he had in the bucket. He then ran over Mermando and threw the balloon in his face. The water exploded on the boy, and the merman sat up, gasping for more water. "That bought us some time!"

He then grabbed Mermando and picked him up. Patrick ran down the dock with Mabel following, and then tossed the merman into the lake. Mermando swam around a few times, before coming to the surface. He made dolphin sounds, but then coughed. "I am weak from coughing. Thank you for saving me, but how will I get my family to hear my call from the mighty depths of the ocean," he asked the two humans.

"I've got it. BRB." Mabel said, before running back to the pool cart and grabbed the megaphone from it. She then came back with it. "Problem solved!"

Patrick quickly took it from her. "Mabel, those are pool supplies," he told her. "I'll get fired!"

"Patrick, you of all people should know what I'm going through!" Mabel exclaimed. She knew that she was going through one of her phases, but this time, it felt so real to her. Mabel always knew that Patrick was in love with Wendy, and now the brown-haired girl knew what he was going through in his heart. "When you know what it's like to fall for someone, but even though you know in your heart that it'll probably never work out, you'd still do anything for that person. Well…Mermando's my Wendy."

Patrick's stern expression melted away with a look of sadness. She was right. Ever since Wendy started going out with Robbie, Patrick was deeply being hurt. The past two days alone with Wendy have been the best days of his summer, as the two bonded more. But she was still with another boy, and to him, it didn't seem like things were going to change. Now, he was starting to think that there was no hope for him to be with Wendy. That he was only holding onto a fantasy that wasn't going to happen.

However, just like he gave his chance to be with her, Patrick was still willing to do it again for his family. "Here, give it to him," he said with a sad smile.

Mabel took the megaphone and smiled apologetically. She knew he was depressed again, and just like the last time, she promised to make it up to him one day. "Thanks, Pat." Mabel then turned to Mermando and tossed him the megaphone.

"Mabel, I have never met anyone like you," he said to her.

"Same here," Mabel said. "Except for a zombie, a gnome, and a couple of cute vampires."

"I don't remember the vampires," said Patrick.

"I don't tell you everything," Mabel said. She then turned to Mermando with a sad expression. "Well, Mermando, I guess this is it."

"Not quite. This is!" Mermando said with a smirk. Before Mabel could respond, the merman leapt out of the water and kissed her on the lips. Mabel kissed back, hiking up a leg.

Patrick smiled at the girl. At least she was able to find some love. Even though it was short lasting. Mermando pulled away and swam into the water. Mabel started stomping her feet and cheered. "That was my first kiss!" she exclaimed. She then kneeled down, and the couple grabbed each other's hand, interlocking their fingers. "Goodbye, Mermando."

"Goodbye, Mabel," Mermando said. The two reluctantly let go of each other's hand and the merman swan away. Waving at her, before diving into the lake.

Patrick walked over to his cousin and placed at hand on her shoulder. "You did the right thing, Mabel," he said to her, as she wiped a tear away. "I'm proud of you."

The two of them walked down the dock and towards the carts. Patrick began to push the Mystery Shack cart back upright, when Mabel suddenly shouted, "Oh, wait, wait! One last thing!" Mabel turned and ran over to a rock border. She then posed with her fist in the air, the sun rising behind her, and Mermando came back to jump over her. "Yes! I've always wanted to do that."

* * *

When the two came back to the pool, they saw how much disarray it was in. Patrick was ordered by his boss to come over to the pool supple building, and the teenager went over to face the music. He now stood before the very angry man as he had his back turned to the teenager. Looking at the destruction caused overnight. "A wrecked fence, dents in the pool mobile, And a missing megaphone?" He turned around and grabbed Patrick's shoulders. Glaring at him with a red face. "WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?!"

Patrick glanced away, before looking at the man again. "It's my fault, sir. I'm sorry. I got in too deep," he admitted. He knew that he wanted to keep the job to be with Wendy, but his family was more important.

Poolcheck released Patrick from his grasp and was now shaking with rage. "Hand over the whistle, boy!" Patrick did what he was told and handed Poolcheck the whistle. The guy snatched it out of his hand, then proceed to break the string, before putting it in his mouth and crushed it with his teeth.

Seeing he do it with the veins of his neck popping out, Patrick slowly backed away.

After he swallowed it, Poolcheck said, "If one more thing goes wrong today—"

As if on cue again, Soos came running out of the supply room and then threw the inflatable ducks over the fence. "You're free now! Free! Inflatable ducks unite!"

"YOU!" Poolcheck roared, finally snapping. Soos saw him charging and quickly climbed the fence and fell. He got up and ran away, as Poolcheck broke through the fence and chased after him.

Tyler Cutebiker then came over and said, "Git 'em! Git 'em!"

Patrick walked away with a sad expression, before getting his face hit with a water balloon. Turn out it was Wendy. "Hey, Pat, you'll never guess what happened. I just got fired," she told him as both teenagers walked together.

"Really? What happened," he asked her.

"Don't know. I guess Poolcheck found out I was taking too many snacks."

"How many are we talking about?" Wendy took off her hat and revealed a stack of Corncorno packs. Patrick chuckled.

"Hey, wanna go break rules somewhere else?"

"Sure, but there's just one thing I've got to do first." Patrick walked away and brought out his crowbar, leaving Wendy where she's standing in confusion. She watched him go around to the other side of the pool and then, to her surprise, used the crowbar to lift up the manhole cover of the solitary confinement pool jail. The kid climbed out of it and was so happy to get out that he hugged Patrick's legs.

Wendy smiled at the teenage boy. That's what she really liked and admired about him. He was different from all the other boys she's dated and knew in Gravity Falls. Much different than Robbie. Patrick was cool, serious, and funny. And most importantly, he was kind and caring.

She blushed when she relieved how much she was thinking about him, and shook her head as Patrick walked back over to her. "Sorry about that," he said, as the boy from the jail ran off to go home.

Him and Wendy started walking out of the community pool, and as they did, Wendy looked to Patrick. "Hey." He looked at her and saw a smile on her smile. "Don't ever change, Patrick. You're a really cool dude," she said with sincerity.

Patrick stared at her, feeling butterflies in his stomach. He smiled and said, "Same to you Wendy."

* * *

 **AN: And this concludes this chapter of "Weirder Things" and things definitely got interesting.**

 **Well, you all picked your choices for Patrick's voice, and although I was going to Elijah Wood as his voice, two people actually said that they wanted to have Vic Mignona. You know want, I love the guy's voice and with Patrick personality, he would play the character greatly. It just really shitty with the things that are happening to him. #IStandWithVic**

 **First, we got a new intro in the form of AMC's** _ **The Terror**_ **theme. I haven't actually seen the show, but I'm really interested in it, as it's based on the real-life Franklin's lost expedition; a British Arctic exploration that went horribly wrong. If you've seen the show or heard the theme, then you can guess why I chose it for this story's theme. It's very eerie and it just seems to fit in this story.**

 **As for the chapter, nothing else is really changed. However, we do get some important development with Wendy. Just like in "Summerween", we see her feelings for Patrick starting to change, and grow a little. And we're learning that she's not really enjoying hanging around Robbie.**

 **Hopefully she's able to figure out her feelings soon, as Patrick is starting to think that thinks between them wouldn't work out. Kind of an opposite thing going on with the two.**

 **I think I'm going to continue to work on this story for at least two more chapters, as the next two are Carpet Diem, and then a Regular Show inspired that'll finally bring a truly romantic moment with Patrick and Wendy that I've been wanting to do for a long time. I'll still update other stories like "Gem of War" and do a chapter for "Welcome Back, Mr. ED!" because I really need to get back on that story.**

 **Thank you very much for reading. "Weirder Things" will return. Please be sure to Favorite and Follow if you like the story, and also Review it so that I know that I'm doing good and what to improve. If you any questions or discussions you'd have for me, then please in a Review or a PM me.**

 **Thank you for reading, may God bless you, and have a wonderful day.**


	14. Boyz Crazy

**AN:**

 **Well, it finally happened. "Weirder Things" has finally reached 203 followers! Let me just say thank you to everyone who has followed and favorited the story from the beginning and all new readers to the story.**

 **Thank you all and now let's get to the chapter.**

* * *

 **{Play** _ **The Terror**_ **opening theme** **}**

 _The intro begins by fading in a scene of the road sign that said Welcome to Gravity Falls, Oregon, before fading into blackness._

 _We then see a view of the town of Gravity Falls, with the strangely shaped canyons in the background, and the sun going down between the two land formations. As the sun was setting, the day turns to a blue night. However, a sinister red light comes from over the horizon. Shining between the canyon._

 _The next scene is of a large, dinosaur footprint in the ground. It then changed to show the trees of the forest at night, and a pair of glowing eyes staring at the view, before the camera switched to a wider shot and showed many more eyes staring at the viewer. The next scene was a far back show of two men dumping a body into the lake, and as that body sank down it was swallowed by a massive creature._

PATRICK

 _The teenage Pines is shown in a freeze shot of him walking in the woods with a lantern and his crowbar in hand. Behind him, Bill's eye in the sky looked down at him._

DIPPER

 _The male twin is looking down at the journal with a flashlight. Not noticing that there was a Pteranodon staring down at him, ready to eat him._

MABEL

 _The female twin is the final one to be seen, and it showed her wearing a sweater that lit up because it was plugged into an outlet. But in another, farther away shot show's Gideon's hand controlling her like she was a marionette._

 _The finale of the intro shows the Mystery Shack as the sun goes down behind it and the trees of the forest. When the sun goes down and the night came, and just like the beginning, the red light appears, but then a blue light shined from inside the Mystery Shack._

 _Then the screen when black and title of the story appeared in a flash of light._

 _ **WEIRDER THINGS**_

 _It then disappeared, before the chapter title appeared._

 **Chapter Fourteen**

 **Boyz Crazy**

* * *

One of Patrick and Wendy's favorite things to do together in the gift shop was play a game in which they watched the security feed with the volume muted. They would then voice over what tourist or Stan was saying. Sure, it was dumb, but they would always end up laughing their ass off. Right now, they were watching the feed of Stan talking to a customer. "Do you have this T-shirt in my size?" Patrick asked, playing as the tourist.

"I have something even better!" Wendy said, giving her best Stan impression. The old man then turned around and bent down to grab something. Giving her the perfect punch line. "Behold: My butt!"

Patrick and Wendy laughed together, with the latter holding a packet of chips. "That was gold!" Patrick exclaimed with a big grin. "I could play this game forever."

"I'll say." Wendy said, eat a hand full of chips. It was just another one of those moments with Patrick that she really liked. Furthermore, the strangely pleasant feeling of being with him grew with every moment spent together. "Oh, hey! I got you something," she said before reaching down to grab something. Patrick looked at her back with a raised eyebrow. Wendy then brought out a large cardboard box.

She opened the box, and Patrick gasped at the sight of a shiny, almost new looking saxophone.

"No way!" Patrick grabbed the instrument and pulled it out of the box. "Is this…? You actually this for me?!" He exclaimed while examining the saxophone.

"My dad actually bought this a while ago, but couldn't play it." Wendy shuttered as she remembered when Manly Dan nearly made her and her brothers deaf when he first tried it. "But then I remember Dipper said that you were good with the saxophone," she said with a smile.

Patrick blushed sheepishly. Why did her smiles have to be perfect? "Yeah, my mom wanted for me to try out musical instruments and see if I liked any of them. When I first tried out the saxophone, I found out I was really good at playing it," he told her.

"Nice, do you think you play something for me?" Wendy leaned on the counter with her hands on her chin. Patrick was a little surprised that she wanted to hear him play, but smiled and got ready to start. However, he was interrupted when they heard laughing and turned their heads to see it was Mabel. "This is fun, what you two have," she said pointing at the teenagers.

"Mabel? How long have you been standing there," asked Patrick, putting the saxophone down.

"Don't worry about that. Let's talk about why I'm doing this dance!" Mabel said, and backed up to show her dancing with her legs. "Do-do-do-do-do..."

Patrick's eyes widened as he started to panic. "Oh, no!" He exclaimed in a panic, before turning to Wendy to grab her arms and shake her around. "Quick, get something really sour! She got into the Smile Dip again!"

"Wrong one-thousand!" Mabel corrected her cousin. "It's because today is the greatest day of my life!" She then took out and threw a calendar at Patrick's face.

"Ow!" Patrick yelled when he got hit. Letting go of Wendy, he looked at the calendar and saw that it had a picture of the popular boy band Sev'ral Timez. It was made up of five boys that all looked the same with similar physical features: blond hair, blue eyes, black eyebrows, muscular physiques, square chins, and light skin. Additionally, they all wear some sort of white top, lavender pants, and white shoes with gray soles.

"Sev'ral Timez is playing at the Gravity Falls Civic Center and Buffet!" Mabel announced with joy.

"Sev'ral Timez? Aren't they that boy band that came a decade too late?" Patrick asked, which was a giant understatement.

Mabel then played one of their songs called _"Cray Cray"_ and began dancing to it. As he listened to it, Patrick noticed how much worse Sev'ral Timez's music was getting. He wasn't going to lie, they had talent as singers, but their songs were extremely outdated. It was like someone was trying to bring back 90's music and but all they did was make themselves look like a parody of the boy band culture. Mabel ended it by posing with her arms crossed.

"Mabel, you know all those boy bands are fake, right?" Patrick said, but Mabel ignored him and started dancing. "Doing what their managers say and acting like they're machines."

"Patrick's right," Wendy agreed, taking a chip out of the bag. "They're just a manufactured product of the bloated corporate music industry."

"You're making my dance sad..." Mabel slowed down before she stopped dancing completely.

Patrick snorted and joked, "There's probably a machine that mass-produces them."

Wendy laughed. "Oh ho, or maybe the boys are grown from pods. Dipper and Wendy bursts into laughter," she said, and the two started laughing hysterically.

"Yeah, and they're just a bunch of clones!" Patrick exclaimed through his laughter.

"You guys can't ruin this for me," Mabel said, before pointing to the door. "Mabel's got back up!" The Gift Shop opened, with Grenda and Candy entering the shop.

"Hey guys!" Grenda greeted them, wearing a Sev'ral Timez T-shirt.

"Woot-woot!" Candy cheered, raising up two Sev'ral Timez foam fingers.

"Who's ready for the greatest night of our lives?" Mabel asked to get them pumped up for the consort. "How many times am I gonna love ya?"

"SEV'RAL TIMEZ!" Mabel, Grenda, and Candy shouted. That really didn't sound romantic. They didn't know, and just laughed and ran off.

"Ugh. Girls," Patrick said.

"I know, right?" Wendy agreed. Mabel and Grenda ran through the "Employees Only" door. Candy followed behind, but ran face first right into the vending machine and smashed her glasses.

"I'm okay!" She said to the teenagers, goes through the door.

After the girls left the room, Patrick and Wendy continued to play their game. The next person to walk into the shop in the feed was Robbie. Patrick noticed that his friend's expression darkened when she saw him. Something tells the Pines teenager that something was going on with the couple, so he decided to cheer her up the only way he knew how.

"Check this out," he said, nudging her shoulder. He then cleared his throat and said as Robbie. "Hey, is this the fingerless glove store? I like things that are dumb. I'm Robbie."

That instantly cheered Wendy up and the two started laughing. "C'mon man..."

However, the real Robbie walked up to the cash register and glared at Patrick. "Ha ha ha ha ha. Laugh it up, loser," he said to Patrick, who glared back at him. The guy made Patrick furious. Why would Wendy ever go out with a guy like him? Wendy was also not happy to see her boyfriend, and when he turned to her, she glared at him. "So Wendy, Nate and his girlfriend are going to Lookout Point this weekend. Maybe we should go too?" He wiggled his eyebrows.

"Are you kidding me?!" Wendy shouted at him angrily, punching the guy in the chest. This surprised Patrick, who looked at her with wide eyes. Sure, he's seen her upset with Robbie before, but never once has he seen her this mad at him. "First, you stand me up last night! And instead of apologizing, you want me to go to Lookout Point?!"

"I'll just be... over here..." Patrick said and backed out of the room, into the "Employees Only" door. However, he opened the door slightly, and eavesdropped on their conversation.

"Look, Robbie..." Wendy paused and sighed. This was it. This was the last straw for her. She's had to deal with Robbie continually showing off and picking fights with Patrick, which irritated her, but what made her mad the most was his condescending and dishonest nature. Last night was Robbie's chance to keep his promise and be there for their date, but all he did go to some metal consort. "I'm not sure this relationship's working," she said, trying to let him down gently. "Maybe I should see other people."

Patrick's eyes widened. This was good—no, excellent! Just when he was starting to give up on Wendy, Patrick felt his fill with pure happiness to hear she was breaking up with Robbie! He fell to his knees and threw his fist up ecstatically, before grabbing Waddles, who was sitting behind him, and hugged the pig tightly.

He still had a chance!

"W-Whoa h-hey!" Robbie reached for her shoulder, but she jerked away from him. "Before you do anything crazy, I- I uh... I want you to hear this." Patrick watched as Robbie reached into his pocket and pulled out a CD from a suspicious Necronomicon-looking case. "I hope this works..." Robbie pulled the CD close to his face, and it glistened, He smirked while his eyes shot to Wendy behind him. Patrick, still peeking in, raises an eyebrow. Robbie put the CD in a player that was on a nearby stool. "I wrote this song just for you..."

He pressed play and begins singing a song.

 _When I think about you_

 _I feel feelings so deep_

 _I'm tossing and turning_

 _And you know I'm losing sleep_

"Yeesh." Patrick said in with a cringe

 _And I know I'm going crazy_

 _When I look into your eyes_

 _Just listen to this song_

 _And you'll be hypnotai-ai-ai-zed_

When Robbie sang the final words of his terrible, Patrick looked to Wendy and saw that she turned to him with wide-eyes. Her green pupils shrinking for a moment. She then rubbed her eyes. "Y'know, maybe I was being a little hasty. I'll give you another chance."

"Yes, alright!" Robbie exclaimed. Wendy kisses Robbie on the cheek, much to Patrick's shock.

"Let me go grab my coat." Wendy told him and left through the "Employees Only" door, going past Patrick.

Patrick turned to Robbie as he stood at the counter and glared angrily. He marched over to him and suspiciously said, "Alright Robbie, I saw that weird CD. What the hell are you up to?"

"It's called romance, loser," Robbie said with a smug smirked. "Something you'd never understand."

Patrick growled angrily. That's when Wendy came back in with her jacket on. "You ready?" She said, oblivious to how angry Patrick was. "I can't believe you wrote that for me."

"I know, I'm just so insanely talented," Robbie said as he and Wendy left, and as they did so, Robbie briefly taunted Patrick behind her back.

Patrick was left alone, still shocked by what he had just witnessed. That really couldn't have happened. There's no way that was natural. Patrick then remembered that look in Wendy's eyes, and then a thought entered his mind. He turned to the CD player and pulled out the CD Robbie left behind. Looking at it closely with a suspicious, Patrick inspected the CD, sniffed it, and licked it.

"What are you doing?" Patrick looked and saw Mabel, Grenda, and Candy staring at him with baffled expressions.

"Guys, the weirdest thing just happened. I think Robbie might be hypnotizing Wendy with his music," he told the girls.

"Oh, Patrick. Girls just like musicians. You'll understand when you're older," said Mabel

"I'm 16!"

"Girls mature faster than guys," Mabel said before turning to Grenda. "Right, Grenda?" They all looked at her friend and saw Grenda furiously kissing a magazine photo of one of the members of Sev'ral Timez.

"This is Grenda time!" The deep-voiced girl yelled at them and went back to kissing the magazine.

Patrick stared blankly at her. "Well, while you girls are _maturing,_ I'm going to find Dipper," he said before walking off towards the kitchen. Many theories were flying through his head that he started to feel like Dipper. Someone that couldn't let something go before they knew the answer.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Dipper was helping Stan while the old man was stocking canned meat on one of the shelves. "Stockin' meat for the apocalypse, doodly-doo. We're all gonna die," sang Stan as Dipper handed him another can.

That's when Patrick walked into the kitchen, staring down at the CD he's holding and paced up and down. "Dipper, are you free?" He asked. Dipper was about to answer before he was interpreted. "Good! I need your help!"

"What's with the pacing, kid," asked Stan. "You look even more freaked out than usual."

Patrick stopped pacing at looked at him, wondering whether to tell him as well or not. "Um, I dunno... You wouldn't understand."

"Aw, c'mon kid." Stan pulled Patrick into a chair and then leaned against the counter. "Try me."

Hesitant at first, Patrick sighed and told Dipper and his Grunckle what he saw. How Wendy was really mad at Robbie, and how Robbie played the music, and then Wendy suddenly agreed to stay as his girlfriend. Dipper listened with great interest, while Stan listened while eating from a can of meat. "So, what's the deal," asked Dipper with a skeptical look. "It just sounds like she like the song."

"One; it was a terrible song, and two; I noticed that her eyes reacted in this weird, almost hypnotic way," Patrick informed him. "I think Robbie might be brainwashing Wendy with music. Forcing her to continue dating him."

"I've seen this before," Stan said in a dramatic way, before shoving a spoonful of meat in his mouth.

Dipper and Patrick shared confused glances. "Really?" asked the boy.

"Her name was Carla McCorkle. Carla 'Hotpants' McCorkle," he said, before turning his head to the side. "Me and Carla baby would cut a rug together at The Juke Joint, our favorite 50's themed, 1970's diner. We were as happy as we could be. Then one day, this new age tree hugger starts playing this transcendental hippie music. And just as she heard that music, she dumped me for him! Carla's hotpants turned into bellbottoms before I even knew what happened. They then shoot up through the roof, leaving behind a trail of rainbows and sparkles."

Stan paused and saw that the two boys were looking at him with confused expressions. "What?"

"My memories get a little hallucination-y at the end, but you get the gist."

"So, wait... you actually believe my theory," Patrick asked.

"You're damn right I do. It was too late for me to stop it, but it's not too late for you. And we're gonna get to the bottom of it." Patrick smiled, feeling more encouraged that even Stan wanted to help. "Right after I get to the bottom of this brown meat." Stan upturned the can of meat he was holding and hit the back of the it, so that the meat fell in his mouth. "Om, nom, it's apocolicious!"

Well, at least he was prepared for the end of the world.

* * *

Later that night, Stan, Patrick and Dipper were sitting at the kitchen table. Stan had grabbed a Pitt Cola and brought over an old record player for some reason. He opened the soda and took a sip from it. "Y'see, kids, music has subliminal mind control hidden in it all the time. If you listen closely, even the music I play in the Gift Shop has subtle hidden messages," he told them.

Patrick raised an eyebrow, remembering seeing two tourists browsing the Gift Shop that day, before the music was cut by Stan's voice yelling "BUY MORE KEYCHAINS! BUY MORE KEYCHAINS!" One tourist ran away after knocking down the postcards. The other collapsed onto the floor after dropping a jarred hand, and whimpered as he presses his hands over his ears.

"If you wanna hear the mind controlling messages, you gotta slow down the record. Gimme that LP." Stan grabber the CD from Patrick and put it on the record player. The three of them watched as it just scratches the CD which discharged little sparks of electricity.

"Oh, right," said Dipper, realizing their mistake and feeling really stupid for not noticing it sooner.

"We're doin' something wrong here, but I can't put my finger on it..." Stan said, rubbing his chin.

"Stan, it's a CD. Not a record," Patrick said, before grabbing the CD from the record player.

Dipper then took the CD and looked at it carefully. "It could take a while, but I think I can convert it to a record for us to listen to the message," he said. He then heard the door open and saw Mabel, Grenda, and Candy trying to shove a large sports bag into the Shack. Groaning with the effort.

Patrick walked over to greet them. "Hey, guys. How was the concert, and what's in the bag?" he asked, staring down at the massive bag with a confused expression.

"Uh... money! Money we stole!" Mabel was quick to respond.

"We are criminals! We will cut you!" Candy threatened. Patrick pulled his sweater back slightly to show her the laser gun he carried. Scaring her.

"Let's go away from here now!" Mabel yelled, motioning towards the stairs. The girls pulled and shoved the bag up the stairs; however, Patrick could have sworn he heard yelps coming from inside the bag at every step. Patrick, Dipper, and Stan watch them and looked at each other questioningly.

Suddenly, there was a loud screeching sound from outside. Those could only have come from car tires. Patrick stepped outside and saw that there was a limo parked in front of the Shack. Stepping out of the limo was a short, fat, bald man wearing a white long-sleeved shirt, green pants, and gold suspenders. Also, he had a visible gold tooth on the front set and carried a golden cane. He also had tiny facial features except for his mouth and chin.

"I can't believe those boys escaped from their cage," the man said angrily.

"Hey, man. We're closed for the night!" Patrick said as he approached the man with Gompers following him.

However, his comment was ignored, and the bald man yelled. "You there! I found this trail of frosted tips leading to this very location," he said, showing frosted tips to Patrick. He then jabbed his cane in Patrick's chest. "Have you seen any perfect boys around here?

Patrick looked suspicious and pushed the cane away, "Look, I don't know anything about 'prefect boys, but we're closed, and you've got to leave. It's your choice whether we do it the easy way, or the hard way."

The bald man growled angrily. "They must be around here somewhere! I'll find those boys if I have to turn this town upside down!" Gompers bleated as he chews off the limo's license plate. "Shoo! Shoo! Ehh..." He entered his limousine and drove off, glaring at Patrick suspiciously as he does so.

Patrick then turned to Gompers. "Good boy. Now if you'll excuse me…"

* * *

Patrick kicked open the door of the twins' bedroom with the laser shotgun in his hand. The girls were there and yelped when they were startled, but Patrick wasn't focused on them. What he was focused on were the five band members of Sev'ral Timez that were in the same room as his underage cousin.

"Who goes there? Prepare to be danced at!" said one of the members as they saw Patrick glaring at them with rage. The guy started dancing towards the teenager.

Suddenly, Patrick punched the pretty boy in the face, before kicking him in the balls. The blonde boy yelled out in pain, and fell to his knees, holding his private. "I'm the badass that's going to bow each of your heads off! You pedo motherfucker!" Patrick yelled and pointed the shotgun at the singer's head.

"Patrick, wait!" Mabel suddenly jumped in front of the guy, blocking Patrick from the blonde. "They aren't going to hurt us! We saved them from their evil producer!"

Patrick blinked before lowering the laser and glaring at Mabel. "Mabel, you've better have a good explanation for what's going on here!"

 _One good explanation later…_

"So, let me get this straight," Patrick said as he pinched the bridge of his nose. Mabel and her friends were standing in front of him, as Sev'ral Timez was standing far from him. Looking at Patrick in fear. "They're actually a bunch of clones that were created by that Bratsman executive guy, all for the purpose to be the prefect boy band? And instead of setting them free, you actually brought them here? Now you want to keep them as pets?"

"Yes," said Mabel.

Patrick laughed for a moment before getting serious. "No!"

"What?! Please, Patrick?" Mabel begged her cousin. "Do you realize what's happening here? We have our very own pet boy band that we can do whatever we want with!"

"I'll have to agree with Patrick," Candy said, surprisingly. "Remember, eventually we will have to let them go. We have to promise not to get too attached to them. Right, Mabel? Mabel?"

"All aboard the braid train! Braid, braid!" Mabel was sitting in front of the boys in a line and Sev'ral Timez started braiding her and each other's hair. Candy and Grenda look at Mabel and Sev'ral Timez with a little worriedly. Patrick wanted to stay and make sure that Mabel didn't go overboard, but he had more important things to do.

"Keep an eye on her, will you girls?" Candy and Grenda nodded in response.

* * *

The possess took all night and nearly all day, but Dipper was finally done with converting the CD into a record for his cousin. Taking the mask off his face and taking the record, the boy walked over to where Patrick and Stan were waiting in the living room. "Alright, it took all day, but I converted it to a record. And now we can slow it down to see if the mind control message theory is correct. Prepare to have your mind blown," he said, handing it to Patrick.

"Spit-take here I come!" Stan exclaimed, and sipped his Pitt Cola.

Patrick placed the record on the player and started it. The song started at normal speeds, and before he slowed it down. Dipper had a tapeman at the ready to record any hidden messages and Stan listened closely.

Nothing.

The teenager's heart sank when he could hear absolutely nothing. Stan swallowed his Pitt Cola and frowned. "That's not spit worthy. What gives?"

Dipper stopped recording as Patrick shook head and showed exasperation and disbelief. "No... No no no no no! There has to be something!" Patrick glared, grabbed the dial, and started messing with the speed to no avail. "Goddamnit! This was so stupid! Course there's no hidden mind control messages!" Patrick leaned against the wall and slid down to the floor. Feeling more defeated than he's ever felt. "Mabel was right. Wendy just likes the song. She just likes Robbie."

 _He_ himself was right. Him being with Wendy was nothing more than a fantasy. It was never going to happen, and he should just give up.

The door could be heard opening, before Wendy and Robbie entered the living room. "Hey, Pat. Forgot my keys," the girl said before leaving to go grab them. Leaving Robbie with the Pines males. Patrick glared at the other teenager with anger.

"What's up, loser. What are you doing? Trying to come up with an equation to make girls like you?" he laughed at his own joke, while Patrick glared at him.

"You know what Robbie. I've always wanted to ask you. What does Wendy ever see in a guy like you?" He asked, making the jerk stop laughing and glare right back at Patrick.

Wendy then came back and said, "Ready to go to Lookout Point?

"Am I!" said Robbie as Wendy walked past him. Robbie turned around and followed after his girlfriend. "Later, dorks. Catch ya on the rewind." He chuckled as they left and the three people in the living room glared at him.

Stan shook his fist at him and yelled. "Come over here and said that shit, and I'll rewind your face!"

But when he said that, that's when Dipper got an idea. "Wait a minute. Stan, rewind!" Dipper manually turned the record backwards. Patrick grabbed the tapeman and pressed record, and this time another message can be heard loud and clear.

 _ListentomeWen—You are under my control. Your mind is mine._

Patrick stared at the player in awe, before Stan did his spit-take onto both his and Dipper's faces. "Holy mackerel! Now there's your spit-take!"

Not caring that there was soda on his face, Patrick laughed with joy and stopped the recording. "I knew it! It's mind control after all!" He yelled with a big grin on his face, but then his face turned to realization and concern. "Oh no, I've got to save Wendy! Who knows what Robbie could make her do with that song!"

"Finally, a good reason to punch a teenager in the face." Stan said with a grin. "Let's roll!" Patrick, Dipper, and Stan ran out the back door and got into the Stanmobile. The young boy got into the back, and Patrick and Stan got in the front. They buckled up, before the old man stepped on the gas and the car sped off away from the Shack and down the road.

"We gotta warn Wendy about the song before she gets brainwashed!" Patrick exclaimed. He didn't want to know what Robbie would make her do, but it made his blood boil.

"Road safety laws, prepare to get ignored!" Stan yelled and yanked the wheel hard left, driving through a blocked road. Patrick gripped onto the dashboard as his uncle drove straight up the side of the cliff. Up to Lookout Point where it crashed landed onto. When the car spun around to face Robbie's car, which was the only one there, Patrick and Dipper ran out and over to the van, while Stan fell out.

"Wendy!? Stop! Robbie's been lying to you!" Patrick yelled.

Wendy rolled down her window and shielded her eyes from the Stanmobile's headlights. "Patrick?" She asked with a clear look of confusion from both her and Robbie.

"Loser? Kid? Mr. Pines?" Robbie added.

"That's _Mr. Pines_ to you!" Stan "corrected" him.

"What?" asked the emo, even more confused. "That's what I just said..."

"Look, Wendy, I know this sound crazy, but Robbie's been using his song to brainwash you. You've got to hear this," Patrick said, taking the tapeman out and pressed play. However, first it played a regular recording of Robbie's song. "Uh..." Patrick hit the device. "The message is in there. I swear!"

Robbie glared at Patrick. "Let me just... close the window," he said and reached over Wendy to press the button. Suddenly, Patrick pulled out his crowbar and slammed the hook of it on the door. Startling Robbie.

"Don't you think able it!" Patrick growled in a threatening tone. He finally figured out the tapeman and raised the volume for the message to be loud and clear.

" _You are under my control. Your mind is mine."_

As she listened to it, Wendy's face turned to shock. And with the brainwashing undone when she heard the real message, her expression turned to anger. "Woah." She turned to Robbie, who looked really worried. "Robbie, what's that doing in our song?" She questioned him with a glare. Patrick, Dipper, and Stan stared irked at the emo.

"Baby, I promise. I don't know anything about those messages," Robbie quickly insisted. Trying to lie out of the mess he was in. But then remembered that Patrick said that Wendy didn't like it when she's lied to. So, he tried telling the truth. "In fact, I didn't even write that song. I ripped it off some other band! So, we're all good, right?" He looked hopefully at her. Believing that it would be enough to save their relationship.

"No, we're not all good!" Wendy shouted at him with a harsh glare. "I don't care about the messages. You said you wrote that song for me, and I actually thought it was sweet, you big liar."

"I know, I know. I lie about a lot of stuff," Robbie said, trying to change the subject. "Like using your makeup and fighting a bear, although—"

"No! You know what? It's over, Robbie. We're through!"

"What?! Wendy!" Robbie protested, but she wasn't having it.

"Goodbye!" Wendy gave him the harsh farewell, before getting out of the van and slammed the door. Furiously walking away.

Patrick watched her walking away, before she started running with her. It was clear to him that she was very upset. He was about to call out to her, before Stan cheered. "We won! Kids, this is a victory for every guy whose hands are too weak or fat to play a musical instrument," he said with a big grin on his face.

"Thanks, you two, I couldn't have done it—"

"YOU!" Patrick was interrupted when Robbie yelled furiously at him from behind. He turned around and the three Pines males saw that the emo was out of his car and glaring hatefully at the other teenage boy. "You motherfucker! Do you have any idea what you've just done!?" He yelled at Patrick. Finally having enough of him and his attitude and approached him. "I would still have Wendy if it wasn't for you! You're gonna pay for that!"

Patrick punched him in the face, knocking him on the ground with a swollen, bloody nose. Robbie curled up in a fetal position with his hands holding his nose. "That's for breaking Wendy's heart," he said, before walking away and leave him alone with Stan and Dipper. Towards the direction that Wendy ran off.

"Hey, Patrick, where're you going?" Dipper called out to his cousin.

Patrick stopped and turned to him. "I'm going to see if Wendy's okay," he said, before starting to run.

"Oh, man," Robbie groaned in pain while still on the ground.

"Look, if it makes you feel any better, the apocalypse is coming soon," Stan told him. Dipper looked at him with a confused look. "Bury your gold! ...You've been buying gold, right?"

* * *

Patrick ran down the hill after Wendy, trying to catch up with her. Pushing past all the trees and undergrowth that were getting in his way. However, he stopped just when he heard the sounds of crying. Having a hunch on who it was, Patrick walked a little more and saw Wendy sitting against a large tree with the moonlight shining on her. As he watched her, Patrick saw for the first time ever that Wendy, the fun loving and rebellious girl he fell for was crying. Sobbing into her knees while burying her face in them, as she hugged her legs tightly to her chest.

Looking at the tapeman, Patrick felt forlornly and ashamed. He may have saved her from Robbie, but he really hurt her as well. More so than when he hurt her at the carnival, and it pained him to know that she's miserable because of him. He sighed and walked towards her with hesitation, before slowly sitting down next to her.

The redhead turned and looked up at him. Looking at him with bloodshot and puffy eyes while tears that stained her cheeks and her shoulders trembled. "Patrick?"

Patrick simply nodded. Wendy sniffed, before throwing herself into his arms. Patrick nearly fell over but balanced himself as his crushed continued to sob into his chest. He repositioned himself onto his knees and turned his body towards her. So that he can bring his arms around and hug Wendy close to him. "Sh…Sh…It's okay. It's going to be okay. I got you, Wendy," he said soothingly to her, as he brushed her hair while she cried in his shoulder. All that mattered to him was calming the girl he loved. "I promise…everything will be alright, Wendy."

* * *

 **AN: And this concludes the one chapter I've been waiting to do for a long time. Wendy has finally dumped Robbie, and now Patrick can finally get with her.**

 **I know that I said was going to do Carpet Diem in the last chapter, but I just really couldn't think of a reason to continue with that chapter. Other than the body swapping, nothing interesting happens in that episode. Plus, I really wanted to get to this chapter, before doing the original chapter.**

 **After a long time, we finally get a truly romantic moment with Patrick and Wendy, with our boy comforting the redhead when she really needs him. I wanted to do more with the two, but figured it was best to just have the ending be where things can really begin for the romance.**

 **I left out Mabel's plot in the chapter, because, in all honesty, it wasn't a really good episode for her.** _ **Gravity Falls**_ **is one of those rare shows that doesn't really have bad episodes, but in Boyz Crazy, Mabel was not at her best character for me.**

 **As, quick question, what do you all think of the new intro? Do you like it, or prefer the old one?**

 **Thank you very much for reading. "Weirder Things" will return. Please be sure to Favorite and Follow if you like the story, and also Review it so that I know that I'm doing good and what to improve. If you any questions or discussions you'd have for me, then please in a Review or a PM me.**

 **Thank you for reading, may God bless you, and have a wonderful day.**


	15. The Curse of the Were-Wendy

**Last time on "Weirder Things", the story had reach over 200 Followers. Well, good news! The story has now reached 200 Favorites! And is now the six most followed and favorited** _ **Gravity Falls**_ **OC story, and the most followed and favorited OC x Wendy story.**

 **I've really got to ask, how come there not a lot of OC/Wendy pairing stories? She a great character, and it makes a lot more scene to have her paired up with a boy her age instead of Dipper. But that's just me.**

 **Thank you all for the support and hope you enjoy the chapter.**

* * *

For Wendy, it was just another day working in the Mystery Shack. Standing at the counter and waiting for any costume to come into the store. However, she wasn't feeling like herself today. It was only yesterday that she found out that her ex-boyfriend Robbie had lied to her about a song that he said he wrote. Not only that, it had a hidden message that brainwashed her into going out with him.

She didn't want to come into work, as she was still very much hurt by the incident. And coming to work when it started raining didn't help her mood. Wendy sighed before hearing her phone buzz. With an irked expression she picked it up and looked at it.

 **Robbie:** _Take me back Wendy!_

Wendy groaned. That was the fifth time Robbie's texted her to take him back and be his girlfriend again. He not even attempting to apologize for what he did.

Right when she was about to block Robbie, Wendy's ears picked up the sound of soothing and heartfelt music. It wasn't loud, but that was because it was coming from another part of the Shack.

However, what really caught her attention was that it was a saxophone.

Know who it was, Wendy got up from her stool and entered through the "Employees Only" door and followed the music down the stairs. Before she stopped in front of a door where the saxophone music was coming from. This was actually Patrick's new room.

From what he told her, Soos had found the secret room while cleaning and Dipper and Mabel got into a fight over who would get it. Patrick then explained that there was once this carpet in the room that can have people swap bodies. After a chaotic indecent, the twins decided that neither wanted the room. Patrick moved into the room, just so that he could have his own room away from the twins.

Knowing that Patrick was inside, Wendy pushed the cracked door open. The room looked old, was about the size of the attic, with a sloped ceiling and a bathroom off to one side. There were a bunch of tables, shelves and filing cabinets with random things on them. Patrick didn't know what some of them were, so he never messed with them. Under the window was a long couch, Patrick's bed was set up on the opposite side of the room.

Patrick was sitting on the couch, playing the saxophone, and Wendy has never heard anyone play so wonderfully. As listened to him playing, she remembered how her friend comforted her after the break-up with Robbie. How he held her and whispered how everything was going to be okay. How strong his arms were around her body, and how safe she felt. Like he was going to shield her from the world and never let go.

"Wendy?" The redhead gasped when she heard Patrick and snapped back to reality. With a slight blush, she brushed her hair behind her ear. "Hey, how're you doing?"

Wendy nodded. "I'm…I'm feeling better," she said to assure him, before walking over and sitting down next to him. Looking at him with a smile, she pointed to the saxophone she gave him. "That was a pretty song. What song was it?"

"'Space Lion'," he said, setting the instrument down. The two friends sat there for a moment, before Patrick broke the silence. "You sure you're okay? After last night with…you know…."

"I'm a big girl, Patrick. I understand that dating Robbie was a mistake, I just…" Wendy sighed. "I can't believe I actually believed all that sweet crap he was telling me."

Patrick nodded. "Yeah…I'm sorry about that. I shouldn't have meddled in your personal life, and I just ended up hurting you," he said. Wendy then playfully punched him in the arm.

"Ah, come on. You were trying to do the right thing," said Wendy with a smile. "You saved me from Robbie trying to control my mind."

Patrick looked a little surprised. "So, you're not mad at me," he asked.

"I can't get mad at a guy who comforted me when I broke down." Wendy saw him blush, and thought that it was cute. In fact, has Patrick always been this handsome? Where did that come from!? Shaking her head clear of those thoughts, Wendy got up and said, "Anyways, I'm going to head out and grab some sodas from the gas station. Wanna come?"

With a grin, Patrick stood up and followed her.

* * *

 **{Play** _ **Stranger Things**_ **theme by Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein}**

 **[0:00-0:03]**

 _At the beginning of the intro, there is nothing but blackness._

 **[0:03-0:08]**

 _Then about three seconds later, a bunch photographs started falling from above in slow motion._

 **[0:08-0:11]**

 _Getting a closer look at one of the photographs, while others twirled and spun in the background in slow motion, shows the town of Gravity Falls from a distance._

 **[0:11-0:14]**

 _Another picture shows the Mystery Shack during the night time, with bright lights shining thought the windows._

 **[0:14-0:16]**

 _One photo shows a thundering sky that had a large, flying creature's shadow being seen through the dark clouds. The camera then focuses on a picture behind the previous one, showing large claw marks on a tree trunk, as more photos were seen falling._

 **[0:16-0:19]**

 _Three photos are focused on now, one showing an angry Gnome, the second showing something that resembles the Long Ness Monster, and the third show a dinosaur tooth trapped in amber._

 **[0:19-0:25]**

 _The camera shows the cluster of photographs continuing to fall, before angling downwards to show all of them lying on a flat surface, collecting in a pile._

 **[0:25-0:40]**

 _The camera then gradually moves back to show more of the photos landing. After the last of the photos were on the surface, the camera moves upwards, displaying nothing but blackness again._

 **[0:40-45]**

 _Then the title of the story, including the red circle with triangle, appeared in a flash of light._

 _ **WEIRDER THINGS**_

 **[0:45-end]**

 _It then disappeared, before the chapter title appeared._

 **Chapter Fifteen**

 **The Curse of the Were-Wendy**

* * *

Patrick was the last one to walk out of the gas station with a plastic bottle of Dr. Pepper. "Still can't believe that soda is cheaper here than at the store," he said as he walked to the golf cart, where Wendy was waiting for him. It was still raining outside, so the two teenagers were wearing yellow rain jackets.

"I know, it's crazy," Wendy said as he jumped into the seat next to her. Her phone rang and she pulled it out. Looking at who it was, Wendy growled when she saw it was Robbie. Pressing the do not reply button, Wendy pulled the cart out of the parking space and speeded down the road back to the Mystery Shack.

Knowing that something was bothering her again, Patrick asked, "You okay?"

"I'm fine, it's just Robbie's been trying to get me to talk to him all day," Wendy said, calming down.

"Robbie? But I thought the two of you were through." He said, making circles with his finger.

"We are! I'm not going to date a guy that's going to constantly lie to me," Wendy said, getting frustration. She then sighed with a depressed expression. "I don't know what's wrong with me, man. I'm always been dating the wrong guys, and I thought that because I knew Robbie that I could trust him. Look what happened with that."

Patrick nodded and looked down. "Well, I'm not going to say the sappy 'there are other fish out there', mostly because I'm pretty sure you dated almost all the boys in Gravity Falls." Wendy snorted out a laughter before punching him in the arm. Patrick chuckled with her, while rubbing his arm. "Who knows, maybe you'll find that prefect guy soon. I'd say to—"

Her phone rang again, and Wendy interrupted Patrick by growling and pulled it out. "That's it! I'm ending this!" She yelled and was about to respond, but then Patrick he spotted something in front of them.

"Hey! Stop, stop! HEY STOP!" Patrick yelled, before moving in front of Wendy and used his arm to shield her, while pushing her foot off the gas pedal and slamming the breaks. The golf cart screeched to a halt, stopping before a huge body of fur in the road. It looked to be some kind of large black wolf creature.

"What is it?" asked Wendy, blushing by how close she was to Patrick and how…heroic his action was.

"It's a wolf, I think," Patrick said, before the two friends got out of the cart and cautiously approach the dead animal. He couldn't tell if it died from getting hit by a car, as there were no injuries on it. It was just lying motionless. "Should we like…move it or something?"

Wendy nodded and the two of them prepared to move it off the road. Patrick got behind to grab the hind legs, while Wendy was already reaching down to grab the forelegs. "Come on, lets—"

The wolf suddenly sprang to life and bit Wendy's hand. The redhead screamed in pain, before being tossed by the wolf.

"Wendy!" Patrick yelled and ran over to her when Wendy landed hard on the ground. He kneeled down next to her, as she grabbed her injured hand. "Wendy, you okay?" Wendy groaned in agony as Patrick helped her sit up, but the burning, highly painful bite was still felt. She held back the tears, trying to fight the burning pain.

"Hey, woah woah, watch it, watch it!" The wolf said, surprising Patrick as he got a good look at the creature. He looked exactly like a regular wolf, except bigger and much more humanoid. Despite his muscular appearance, his limbs appeared thin.

But while Patrick was shocked that the wolf was talking to them, Wendy wasn't too happy about being bitten and glared at him. "What the hell, man?"

"You guys think you could walk up to a guy in broad daylight and mug him without him fighting back," the wolf asked in an arrogant tone, with a Brooklyn accent.

"We weren't mugging you! We thought you were dead!"

"I was taking a nap!"

"In the middle of the road?!

"Oh, who are you, Mr. Queen Sand Man, telling people where they can and cannot sleep?" The wolf demanded rudely, getting aggravated. "Why don't you take your wimpy boyfriend and get lost, doll face."

"Hey! You leave her alone!" Patrick yelled, getting fed up with the wolf's attitude.

The wolf smirked egotistically. "And what're you going to do? Huh? Defend your little damsel in distress, big man? Oh, wait, I mean _little man_!" The wolf laughed.

Now it was Wendy who came to Patrick's defense. "Hey! Back off, you asshole!" She snapped.

But when the wolf heard her, he got angry again. "Oh, I'm an asshole?" The two teenagers' eyes widened in shock when the wolf suddenly became enlarged. With its back hairs sticking upon and claws extending. He suddenly grabbed Wendy and lifted her up into the air. "You think that you can stand up to me?! You have no idea what I am, and what you're going to be!"

"Let her go!" The wolf's glaring eyes turned to Patrick, who had pulled out his crowbar and raised it up threateningly. "Let her go or I'm gonna make you wish you were roadkill!" He glared at the creature, until he complained and dropped Wendy to the. "Now get lost!"

The wolf then shrank back down to its normal size. "You two are disgusting. I'm outta here!" He declaimed and started walking off towards a fenced off area of the forest.

"Wait, what did you mean when you said what I was going to be?!" Wendy called out to the creature.

"Yeah, right. Figure it out for yourself!" The wolf yelled back to her, before walking through a hole in the fence.

* * *

When Patrick and Wendy got back to the Shack, they told Stan and the others what had happened. The old man didn't believe that the wolf thing was standing upright and talking, but after some pleading from Patrick and the twins, agreed to take Wendy to go see a doctor.

They were now in a doctor's office, as Wendy's hand was being looked over by an Indian doctor named Dr. Vindaloo Quack. If Mabel remembered, he was the same doctor from when she was forced to date Gideon. The one that said the old woman was going to die if Mabel didn't say yes to going on another date.

Dr. Vindaloo held Wendy's hand up and examined it intensely. The bite was starting to swell and redden, with some strange veins popping out. "You have nothing to worry about. It's nothing to worry about, nothing at all," he said to the Pines family. "But there is nothing I can do."

"What!?" Patrick yelled. It was clear that his skills as a doctor were lackluster, and his powers of observation are even worse. "I call bullshit!"

"You can't just leave it like that. Look at it!" Dipper said, gesturing to how much Wendy's bite was swelling.

"The swelling will go down. Just keep soaking it," the doctor said, before walking over to the door. "You have nothing to worry about. Just keep soaking it."

As the doctor left the room, Stan frowned. "Well, he was no help."

"Are you sure you're going to be okay, Wendy?" Mabel asked. "What if that guy was a like a werewolf and you turn into one and have to fall in love with a vampire!? Just from experience dating one, I can tell you vampires are the biggest jerks on the planet."

Wendy, however, brushed it off. "Come on, Mabel. A werewolf? It was just some jerk wolf that bit me," she said with a laid-back smile.

"Well, you can't work at the Shack with that hand," Stan said, scratching the back of his head. "Just do what the doctor said and come back tomorrow!" Wendy turned her head back to her hand. Looking at it with a worried expression. Patrick then went over to a cabinet and grabbed some bandages. He walked over to Wendy and gently wrapped her hand in it.

"Just to be safe," he said, and Wendy nodded.

* * *

Night came, and Patrick was sleeping in his room. All was peaceful as it could be. Nothing to wake him from his dreams. However, he was awakened when he heard the sound of something breaking. Groggy and still a little sleepy, Patrick got up in nothing but his boxers and a tank up to go investigate.

As he looked towards the kitchen, he could the sounds of someone raiding the refrigerator. The all but the refrigerator's lights were off, so it was difficult to see who it was. "Hello? Who's there?" he asked, but all he heard was more eating and things falling over. "Mabel? Is that you?" No one responded, so Patrick pulled out his crowbar and walked towards the kitchen. "Girl, if you're sleep-eating again, then you're cleaning…up…tomorrow…" his sentence came to a stop when he saw what was really in the kitchen.

Making beastly sounds at it ate a roasted chicken whole was a large, hairy, wild humanoid creature with reddish hair covering every pair of its body. It had a long, furry tail, pointy ears, strong legs with canine-like feet, sharp claws, and long red hair flowing down from its head. It was wearing a tattered emerald green plaid/flannel shirt with a white tank top underneath, green stub earrings and blue jeans that were torn and cut halfway down.

The creature heard Patrick, and snapped its head towards him, and he gasped in shock. While it's face was more dog-like, with fangs that snarled at him and yellow eyes that glared right at the teenager, there was no way Patrick could mistake the person looking at him.

"W-Wendy?" He asked shakily.

Wendy let out a beastly snarl at him, before suddenly lunging at him. Patrick was too stunned to react and was backhanded by Wendy. Crashing into the wall with a loud thud, before a shelf came loose and drop some pots and dishes onto his head, knocking him out. Wendy then crashed through the door of the house, running out into the night.

Running at top speed into town, Wendy ran towards a local meat shop. Breaking the window with her fist, the werewolf girl entered the building and proceeded to eat almost every meat in the shop. However, with the alarms going off, the owner opened the back door with a meat cleaver and a flashlight. Wendy bolted out of the shop before the man could shine the light on her.

Wendy then broke into a house, ripped off the door of the refrigerator, and started eating all of the meat in it. "Hey! What's going on in here?" Asked a man, as he entered the kitchen. Just like with Patrick, Wendy attack him by slashing her claws at him. It didn't kill him, but it did send him flying back into a wall. He looked in fear, as Wendy jumped through the window.

With then moon high in the sky, Wendy crawled up to the top of the town hall and howled to it.

* * *

Patrick woke up with a startled gasp. He then groaned in pain and grabbed his head. "Patrick!" exclaimed Mabel as she ran over to him. Soos, Dipper, Stan, and even Dr. Vindaloo was there with him. They were in his room the next morning, with his head wrapped with a bandage.

Looking at them with a confused expression, Patrick sat up and turned his body so that he was sitting on the edge of the bed. "What's going on? And why does my head hurt?" He asked, rubbing his head.

"You had almost bought it, young boy. What is up with that?" asked Dr. Vindaloo, before walking out the room. "It's nothing to worry about. It's nothing at all."

As the doctor left the room and the five people in there. "Well, he's still useless. I've got a business to run, so you all can deal with this," Stan said after hearing a bus outside pull up to the building. So, he exited the room with Soos following him.

This leaves Dipper and Mabel alone with Patrick. The boy twin turned to his cousin and asked, "Patrick, what happened to you last night? When we found you, you were knocked out with an injured with the kitchen trashed."

"Did I have another sleep-eating incident?" Mabel asked, looking at him with curious eyes, before looking at her hands. "Do I have super strength when I sleep?"

"No, it wasn't you," he said, rubbings his eyes and tried to remember what had happened. "It was…" Patrick stopped, and his eyes widened when he remembered seeing Wendy as a werewolf, how she was eating from their refrigerator, and when she attacked him. "…Wendy."

Dipper and Mabel looked at each other with confused and surprised express. "Wendy?" They asked simultaneously.

"Turn on the news and call me if anything big is now it," Patrick told the twins, before getting up and walking towards the exit of the room. "I've got to find Wendy."

"Wait, Patrick! What's going?" Dipper yelled, but he didn't stop for the boy. Patrick walked up the stairs to find Wendy, but when he entered the gift shop, he didn't see her anywhere. He looked to his left, and then looked to the cash register. But there was no sign of her. Patrick then looked at the clock and saw it was past 9:00

Wendy was known for being late for work, but she was never really this late.

He then pulled out his phone to call her, but then the door of the shop opened with the bell ringing. That's when Wendy came walking in. Holding her stomach like she was having a stomach ache. Her hair wasn't as neat as it was before, and the redhead looked a little more pale than usual.

"Wendy!" Patrick exclaimed, pushing the fact that she was just a werewolf. He rushed over to Wendy and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"Oooooh, no. It feels like I ate one of Soos' Special Tacos," the redhead said, but then she saw Patrick's head wound. Worried about wellbeing, she placed a hand on his head. "Oh my God! What happened to your head?"

Patrick flushed a little, but he was confused by her question. "Wait. You really don't remember," he asked, grasp her hand and moving it away from his injured head.

"No, why?" Wendy looked at him with a confused expression.

"PATRICK! GET IN HERE! QUICK!" the two teenagers heard the male twin yelling from the living room.

With his hand still holding Wendy's, Patrick pulled her along with him as they ran into the living room. Dipper was sitting in the chair and Mabel sat in front of it, and when the teenagers arrived, the young boy grabbed the remote and turned up the volume.

" _This is Shandra Jimenez with breaking news. Confusion and chaos erupted in Gravity Falls as some kind of creature rampaged through the town,"_ said the news reporter, before showing film footage of trashed shops and refrigerators in houses that had all of its contents pulled out. Bits of meat on the floor. _"Shops and homes were broken into and almost all the meats were eaten by this creature. During its attack, the thing attacked a man in his home with a critical slash to his chest, but thankfully he'll be making a quick recovery."_ The TV showed the man being carried out into an ambulance in the middle of the night. It then switched to showing security footage of Wendy as a werewolf breaking into the meat shop and wrecking the place. Eating all the meats that she was able to get her hands on. _"As you can see from this security feed from a local shop, this is what the creature looks like…"_

While Shandra Jimenez continued to describe Wendy's werewolf form, Patrick and the twins looked to the redhead. Dipper and Mabel with shock, wide eyes, and Patrick with a look of concern.

Wendy looked at the TV with shock and horror, as the news froze the feed so that it could zone in on her snarling and savage. Gripping Patrick's hand tightly as if afraid to let go, she turned to her friends with a pale expression. She took again glance at Patrick's head wound and started to breath heavily. "No…"

"Wendy, calm down," Patrick said, patting her hand. "Everything is going to be okay."

"How can you say that!" Wendy yelled, yanking her hand away from him. Backing away from the twins and Patrick. "I turned into a _werewolf_ and hurt people! Including you!"

Dipper hopped off the chair and said, "Then we're just going to have to figure out how to cure you of the curse!" He then pulled out the 3rd Journal and started pacing around. Turning the pages to try and find something. "There's nothing in the Journal that'll be able to help us."

"The only think I know is that silver destroys werewolves," said Mabel, remembering what that vampire she dated for a day told her about werewolves. She then frowned when she remembered how the guy going to try and turn her into a slave. "David McFly was nothing but a jerk."

"Then I'm sure there'll be information online or at the library that'll get us the answers we need. We gotta find that cure before tonight!" Dipper exclaimed, slipping the Journal back in his vest.

"What if I can't be fixed?" Wendy asked desperately, starting to tear up. "Am I just being a werewolf for the rest of my life?"

"Don't worry Wendy," Patrick said with a smile. "We won't give up until you're cured."

Seeing that boyish smile on his face, Wendy felt calm and at ease again. Rubbing away the tears from her eyes, she nodded and said, "Thanks Patrick, you guys are the best."

* * *

"Ugh! Why is this so hard?!" Dipper complained. At the Gravity Falls library, Patrick, the twins, and Wendy were searching for the cure to the teenage girl's lycanthropy. The female twin was looking at a computer while Patrick, Dipper, and Wendy were looking at book after book after books of werewolves. But it was proving to be a difficult.

"Most of this stuff jut explains how to kill a werewolf, and some of these cures aren't even going to help," Patrick said, gesturing to a sentence that the book in front of him was telling him.

"Someone calls you by your birth name while you're a werewolf," Mabel said out loud from a list of old werewolf cures. Many of them weren't successful for the victim.

"I'm pretty sure I said her name when she broke into the house."

"Getting struck on the forehead with a knife 3 times."

"I want to live by the end of this ordeal," Wendy said with a scowl.

"Rolling in dew or plunging in water," Mabel said the last opinion. "Ew!"

Wendy slammed the book she was read closed and then pulled the next book in front of her. But when she looked at the book, the redhead was surprised to see that it was the same book that she looked at when investigating the Summer Trickster. Opening the leather covered book and turning the pages written in red link. Soon, she stopped when coming upon a chapter with the title _"lycanthrope"_.

"I think I found something," Wendy said, before reading the pages. "'Werewolves are a race of partially-human supernatural creatures that are able to morph into a combination of human and wolf. Every night, werewolves must go out and eat to satisfy their insatiable craving for blood, meat, and flesh. However, unlike popular belief, werewolves don't eat people because they have to. Werewolves can live off of other animals, and it's up the werewolf to hunt and kill humans." Patrick gulped. That's disturbing to think about. "To become a werewolf, one must be bitten by an alpha werewolf, and will have only three nights of humanity left."

"Three days," asked Dipper.

"Apparently so," Wendy said before looking into the book again. "Because once the last night ends…I won't _wanna_ change back."

"Is there a way to cure you?" Mabel asked, walking over to them.

Wendy looked at the book and read some more. "There is! It's just right over…" turning to the next page, Wendy was shocked to see that the page wasn't there. But instead ripped out of the book. "Where is it? Where is it?! Where is it?!" Wendy yelled, flipping through the pages. Desperate to knowing the cure.

However, to her horror…

"Someone ripped it out!"

Patrick and the twins ran around the table and looked at the book, as Wendy got out of her chair and backed away.

Patrick grabbed the book and looked at it. "Who would rip out the page for a werewolf cure," he said. "It doesn't make any sense!" Their attention was then brought over towards the sounds of grunting. Wendy was the one doing the grunting, hugging herself and her expression twisting in agony. "Wendy!"

"I feel…hot! Rrrrr!" Wendy growled beastly, hunching over and sweating from her skin, which has turned paler. Patrick and the twins looked at each other with concern.

* * *

With night coming, the Pines kids took Wendy back to the Mystery Shack and headed down to Patrick's room. They then tied up Wendy on the bed on his bed, then chained her down. Afterwards, Patrick covered his crush with bags of frozen peas. "This should help you with some of the heat," he said, placing the last bag gently on her head.

"Thanks, but why are we in your room," asked Wendy, turning her head to look at the twins and the teenager. "Couldn't we just do this at my house?"

"The Shack is the furthest place away from the town," Patrick explained.

"We're going to try and see if waiting out the night can break the curse," Dipper informed her. "If you can't transform under the full moon, we might be able to cure you by preventing the transformation."

"But what if I break out and hurt you guys again," Wendy asked anxiously.

"My room is the only one with boarded up windows," Patrick said, pointing with his thumb at the window that were boarded with planks of wood. "Plus, you have to get through Mabel and she's wearing a police attack-dog suit that we found in the trash."

Mabel is seen flexing her arms to test the suit. "Yeah, yeah, yeah!"

"You can get this under control, Wendy. ARE YOU READY TO OVERCOME THIS THING?" The teenager yelled.

"I think so," Wendy replied calmly.

"I said... ARE YOU READY TO OVERCOME THIS THING?"

"Yeah. I heard you. I said I think so."

"I'm tryin'a' getcha to shout."

"Oh. Okay." Wendy then shouted at the top of her lungs. "IS THIS GOOD?!

"Never mind." Patrick sighed before getting serious. "Now. I want you to think about eating a porcupine. How would that feel?"

"Prickly and painful."

"Good, good, you're doin' great!" Patrick said with a smile.

"Cool. So, can I be let out?"

"No, you can't," Patrick told her, shaking his head. "We've got to keep you here all night."

"But, Patrick, please! I...I... NEED IT!" Wendy yelled, trying to sit up, but struggled to against the chains and rope. This made Patrick and the twins back away, as she panted heavily then started growling.

As the clouds moved away from the moon in the sky, the light of it shined through the gaps in the broad. Hitting her in small places. However, this was enough for her to thrash around more, rocking the bed as she squeezed her eyes shut. Hair started to appear on her arms, her nails turned to claws, and her teeth began to sharpen. Wendy was yelling out in agony as she tried to escape the bindings.

"Oh, no, the transformation's already takin' over her brain!" Dipper exclaimed.

Wendy snapped open her eyes, which had turned yellow and animal like. "I want to see that moon!" Wendy growled fiercely, before making more sounds like she was in pain. She tried to move around and break free but couldn't.

When Wendy calmed down for a moment, Patrick swallowed the lump in his throat and asked, "Wendy? If you're still in there…say something to reassure me."

"I'LL BITE YOUR MOM!"

The three Pines members each made a frightened noise and backed away quickly. Wendy continued to struggle against the ropes and chains, before suddenly breaking them.

Patrick gasped. "She broke loose!" He yelled, before Wendy fell off the bed onto the floor. On all fours, she panted, before looking up. Looking at the three with her glowing yellow eyes and her hair messy than before, Wendy growled like the animal she was becoming.

"…run." Wendy simply said, before lunging at the Pines.

They screamed and ducked out of the way, but Wendy wasn't attacking them. She instead ran over to the window and pulled out the wooden boards with monstrous strength. Throwing them away and nearly hitting Mabel with one of them.

As the moon shined on her, Wendy growled while her body continued to transform. First, her hair grows out of her skin and covered every last part of her body. Her legs turned and twisted into wolf legs, with her feet breaking out of her socks and shoes. Her long tail then popped out of her pants, wagging around while the arms and hairs grew hair all over it. Wendy's face grows out a snout, her teeth became sharper, and her ears grew pointy.

With her transformation into a werewolf complete, she howled at the moon.

"What do we do!" Mabel yelled, before Wendy turned to them and snarled. However, she didn't attack the kids. Instead, she busted out of the window, howling.

Patrick, Dipper, and Mabel ran over to the broken window and watched as Wendy ran towards the town. They then ran out of the Mystery Shack and got into the golf cart, before speeding down the road to follow after her and to hopefully stop her.

* * *

When morning came the next day, the Mystery Cart pulled up to the barn of farmer Sprott. This was the last place that Wendy stopped at before the moon settled, and the sun rose. Just like the night before, Wendy left a trail of destruction in town, but was now starting to go after living animals too. Stray dogs and cats, even wild animals. Patrick tried to keep up with her, but Wendy was too fast in her werewolf form.

This was where the trail ended. When they pulled up to the farm, Patrick and the kids saw the strange farmer pulling out the carcass of a sheep that was ripped apart with its entrails hanging. Dragging it to a trailer that had more dead sheep in it.

"Okay, I'll go talk to the guy. Just stay here," Patrick, said, before stepping out of the cart. He then stopped and looked at the kids. "In fact, don't look over here at all, just look at the trees so you're not traumatized any further."

Mabel and Dipper just looked blankly into space, having already to traumatized by the things they've seen Wendy's done. "Too late," Mabel said quietly.

As Sprott threw the dead sheep onto the trailer, Patrick walked over to him. He glanced at the open barn and could see that there was blood on the floor and some splatter the walls. It was a bloodbath in there. Fighting his down sickness, the teenager approached the man. "Excuse me, have you seen a young girl with red hair wearing green?"

"Oh, you mean the Corduroy girl. Yes, when I came out this morning, I saw her laying with a bunch of my dead sheep with blood all over her," Sprott said with a casual tone. "Yep, she should be at the police station right now."

"What!? You had her arrested!?" Patrick shouted with wide eyes.

"No, actually. When the young lady woke up, she just said she's going to the police station." The man then shrugged. "Don't know what her problem is. I'm just trying to figure out what ate all my sheep."

* * *

In one of the police station's cells, Wendy sat on the only bench there as her sobbing echoed all throughout the hallway of empty cells. Crying into her hands, the redhead's front was covered in blood and she was without her shoes and socks. However, she stopped when she heard the sound of the door at the end of the hallway up and close. Then the sound of footsteps came towards her.

"Wendy!" exclaimed Patrick as he, Mabel, and Dipper arrived at her cell.

"What are you guys doing here," she asked with red eyes from her crying, before seeing that Patrick had the cell keys in his hands.

"We're here to bust you out, girlfriend!" Mabel exclaimed with excitement. Patrick then locked the cell and opened it for Wendy.

"Come on. Let's go figure out a Plan B," Patrick said with an encouraging smile. Trying to stay positive for his crush, especially after seeing the sighs that she's been crying.

Wendy sighed and approached the Pines. "Dudes…" she stopped in front of them and grabbed the door. "This is Plan B," the redhead said somberly and closed the door, locking herself inside.

"What?! What're you saying?" Patrick asked, taken aback by her action

"This is the only place that can keep me from hurting you guys anymore!" Wendy proclaimed. She didn't remember what she actually as she as a werewolf, but after walking up with dead sheep all around her, with blood all over her, Wendy had a good idea what she did. "After the horrible things I did last night, I can't say I mind being in jail for the rest of my life."

"You gotta let us try to help you!" Dipper exclaimed. "We just got started!"

"And I'm ending it! Just leave me alone, dudes." Wendy walked over to the bench and sat down with guilt and shame.

Patrick and the twins glanced at each other with worried expressions. She was really serious about this. Dipper and Mabel walked away towards the exit, but their cousin stood there for a moment. He grabbed the bars with both hands and said, "I'm not giving up on you, Wendy. Please don't give up on us." Wendy remained silent as he walked away. When the door closed, Wendy hugged her legs to her chest. Alone in the cold cell.

* * *

With the situation getting worse for their friend, the Pines kids walked out of the police station and headed to the Gravity Falls library. Trying one last time to find a cure for her before she turned into a werewolf. But as they looked for any solutions, the hours dragged on with no results. "Ugh! This is hopeless!" Patrick exclaimed in frustration.

"We've looked at every book, and there's still no clue to curing werewolves," said Dipper said, having almost given up hope.

But then someone came over to where the three kids were and looked down at the book Dipper was reading. "You kids looking at werewolves," asked Veronica, reading the page.

Her presence taken the kids aback with a yelp. "Graunt Veronica!" Mabel happily exclaimed, and hugged her. "Wendy's got bit by a werewolf and we've been trying to figure out how to save her."

Veronica's eyes widened. She was going to order a kill on the werewolf when it first attacked and then cover up the disappearance of the person it was. However, when hearing that it was Wendy Corduroy, she knew that it had to be called off and that they needed an answer to their situation. "I know of a way. It's simple, but extremely risky," she told them.

"Really!?" Patrick yelled with a happy grin. He then ran over to his grandmother and hugged her tightly. "Thank you so much! What do we have to do?"

"Find the alpha werewolf that bit her, _alive_ and _before_ it transforms, and take a fang from it. Then bring it to Wendy and stab it where she was bitten before midnight."

The three kids looked at her with wide eyes. "That's going to be difficult," said Dipper.

"That's an understatement," said Patrick.

The three kids ran out of the library and grabbed the cart. Hopping into it and drove off. Patrick drove them out onto the road that Wendy and he went down to go back to the Shack the day she was bitten. When they arrived at the fence that the wolf went through, Patrick pulled the cart to the side of the road and parked it.

Finding the hole in the metal fence, they crawled under it and ran through the woods.

"Where you at, wolf!" Patrick called out for the werewolf as they crossed a stream. Pushing the branches of a bush aside, they saw a cabin with the lights on.

"Is that his home," asked Dipper.

"Only one way to find out." Patrick ran up onto the porch of the cabin and started pounding the door, as the twins followed behind him. "Wolf, come out! I know you're in there!"

The door opens and the werewolf came outside. "What? Oh. It's you," he said, glaring at Patrick and the twins. "What are you doing here?

"Listen, I know that you're a werewolf and your bite's turning my friend into one of you," Patrick told the wolf, scowling at him.

"And let me guess, you're here for my tooth?" The wolf questioned the boy.

"Yes…" Patrick paused. "Wait…"

Mabel continued by asking, "How did you know we needed it?" The werewolf narrowed his eyes and pulled out something from behind his back. That something was—to the Pines' shock—was the missing page of the book from the library.

Dipper pointed a trembling finger. "You? You had it?"

"Thing is, kids, I'm sick of being the only werewolf in town. Always getting dirty looks, people thinking they're some big shot hero huntin' ya, people hatin' ya 100% of the time," the werewolf said, circling the kids with as they huddled together. Just waiting for the wolf to attack. "Nah, with your girlfriend as a werewolf, things won't be so bad." The wolf then grinned menacingly as he stopped in front of the doorway. "All the hatred: We'll be splitting it, fifty-fifty. I'll have a warm body to sleep with every night. It'll be the start of a new pack in Gravity Falls!"

"Not if we stop you!" Mabel yelled before grabbing a handful of glitter from her pocket and threw it into the werewolf's face.

"ACH!" The wolf stumbled and tried to rub the glitter out of his eyes. But then Patrick pulled out his crowbar and swung it into the creature's face. Knocking him onto his back into the house.

Patrick then stood over the wolf and started beating the werewolf without mercy. Only stopping when one strike from the crowbar knocked out a fang.

Dipper ran over to the tooth and grabbed it. "I've got it!"

With the fang in their hands, Patrick and the twins quickly left the cabin and ran away. But as they jumped into the cart and drove back down the hill towards the police station, the moon was rising high into the sky.

Driving as fast as it could go, Patrick looked to his cousin. "You still got it?" He asked, before making a hard-right turn. Dipper and Mabel held onto their seats during the turn, before the boy pulled out the tooth from his pocket.

"I've still got it," Dipper confirmed, putting it back into his pocket. "The night's begun, so we've only got a few hours before it's midnight."

"WE SAVED THE DAY!" Mabel shouted, before the boys joined her in cheers. "Nothing can stop…" However, just at that last word, the cart suddenly stopped in the middle of the road.

Patrick looked at the dashboard of the cart, trying to figure out what'd happened. He then saw the fuel gage and saw the arrow on empty. Shaking his head in disbelief, Patrick tried turning on the cart. Then again. Then again and again and again.

They got out of the cart and Patrick raised up the seat to look at the gas tank under it. "It's no good!" He exclaimed, slamming the seat down in frustration. "It's fucking empty!" Patrick then kicked the cart hard, rocking it a little.

"It's okay. It can't get any worse than this," Dipper said to calm down his cousin.

Suddenly the night air was pierced by the sound of a werewolf howling. Patrick and the twins slowly turned their heads and looked at where it was coming from. Seeing that it wasn't from town. They were looking in the direction they just came from.

"You just had to jinx it," groaned Patrick.

* * *

Meanwhile, the howl wasn't the only heard by the Pines kids. When Wendy heard it, she gasped. For the past few minutes, she's been in an extreme amount of pain. Like a junkie trying to force themselves to quit their addiction, the Corduroy girl's been forcing herself to not give in and go into the moonlight. Wendy couldn't believe that this was happening to her. This couldn't be her life from now on. Not when there were so many things she wanted to do.

When she heard the howl, her werewolf instincts were telling her it was the alpha werewolf. She could smell him. And it made her want to rip out his heart and eat it!

Wendy shook her head before grabbing it. Rocking back and forth in the corner of her cell. Pushing back against her primal side taking over like last night. But it was hard to do when that bastard was getting closer. But there was something else that her nose picked up. As she smelt in the air, Wendy gasped and let go of her head.

"…Patrick?" It was Patrick and the twins. They were near the alpha! Wendy looked down at her hands, examining all of the blood on them, her arms, and clothing. But then she reached into the pocket of her shirt and pulled out the drawing Patrick drew of her. The very same drawing that she's kept in her shirt.

Wendy's face, then changed to a determined expression. Her friends were in danger, and she was the only one who could save them. So, she got up and opened cell doors. Exiting the cell block, Wendy walked past the front desk of the police station, where the two policemen were snoring and sleeping.

Standing in front of the glass doors of the building, Wendy could feel her werewolf side trying to take over. Shivering as she took in a deep breath, she closed her eyes to focus. "You've got this Wendy. You've got to do this for your friends!" Wendy told herself, before opening her eyes. "I'M READY TO OVERCOME THIS THING!"

Grabbing the handles, she opened the doors and rushed out into the night.

* * *

They started backing away. Walking slowly backwards towards the town. Both twins hid behind Patrick as he used his body as a shield. All three frightened as the alpha werewolf came walking down the road, approaching them. Just like when Patrick and Wendy first encountered him, the wolf was larger than before with its back hairs sticking upon and claws extended.

Patrick pulled out his laser shotgun and aimed at the werewolf. But with incredible speed, the werewolf swatted the gun out of his hand. Sending it a few feet away. The werewolf then grabbed him by his neck, choking him and lifting him off his feet.

"Patrick!" Dipper and Mabel yelled and were going to attack, but the alpha swiped them away with his tail. Batting them away and sending them flying back. Both twins hit the ground hard and groaned in pain.

"You think you gonna stop me from creating more werewolves with your friend?" He yelled in fury at Patrick. The teenager tried to break his grip on his neck. Kicking his feet back and forth in a desperate attempt to hit the werewolf. But the alpha choked him hard, making Patrick's face begin to turn blue, and he started to lose consciousness. "You can't stop me. You can't stop nothin'!"

Suddenly, werewolf Wendy jumped down from the trees and pounced on the back of the alpha. Biting down on his neck and clawing his, making the alpha cry out in pain. Patrick was dropped to the ground, as the monsters fought each other. The werewolf grabbing Wendy from his back and trying to pull her. But all it did was make Wendy slash and dig her claws into him more. Drawing blood from his back.

Growling and snarling in pain, the alpha was able to grab Wendy's tail. So he yanked her roughly off his back, making her yelp in agony when he pulled her and threw her at a tree.

Wendy yelped when her back hit the trunk of the tree hard. Falling down on the ground where she whimpered. "Wendy!" Patrick yelled, before running over to her. He kneeled down next to her, picking up her head and cradling it. A shadow loomed over them, and when Wendy saw who it was, she snarled and got on all fours. Putting herself in front of Patrick in a protective stance.

Panting with his back bloodied, gashed, scared and all around messed up, the alpha werewolf growled as he walked over to the teenager and the red-haired werewolf. "Alright, you don't want to play nice," he said before getting ready to attack, "then I'm—"

 _ **BANG!**_

Suddenly, a gun shot rang out and a bullet went right through the head of the werewolf. Patrick, Wendy, Dipper, and Mabel were shocked and started by the it, and watched the wolf fall to his knees, before tumbling over on his right side. Dead.

"You kids okay?" The Pines kids turned their heads towards the direction and were shocked. Standing in the middle of the road in front of her car was Veronica with an M4A1 assault rifle. She lowered the gun and walked over to them. "I had a feeling that you were going to need some help," she said while approaching Dipper. She then grabbed his arm and pulled him up onto his feet.

"W-What did…what're you doing with a gun?" Dipper asked, completely stunned by the gun that his sweat great aunt had. Even more so that she actually used it to kill the alpha werewolf. And by the look of his sister, she was shocked too.

"Did you use a silver bullet," the young girl asked, knowing that it was the only thing that could kill a werewolf.

"Those politicians may not like it, but your grandma's packing _heat_!" Veronica said with a smirk, ejecting the bullet from the chamber and showed the kids that it was indeed a silver bullet as Patrick led Wendy over to the other. Surprising, she wasn't as feral as she was before. She was now relatively tame, and was even licking Patrick's face.

"S-Stop it, g-girl!" He laughed, pushing her away by her nose. Wendy, however, licked his hand like she was a common house dog.

"As nice as this is to see, you've still got to cure her," Veronica said, before pulling out a mallet from her pocket and handed it to him. "You guys got the fang before I, you know, blow his brains out, right?"

Dipper quickly reached into his pocket and pulled out the fang. He then handed it to his cousin. Patrick turned to Wendy, who looked at him with wide eyes that held confusion in them. "It's going to be okay, Wendy," he said gently, before grabbing the hand that was bitten. "We're going to end this." He placed the fang on the back Wendy's hand, and then struck it with the hammer.

Wendy yelped in pain and shut her eyes tightly when it sank deep into her skin. But when she opened her eyes again, they were back to normal. Her nails shrank back down to her body transformed back into its normal, as her body shed and fell off.

When she was finally cured of the curse, Wendy fell to her knees and hand. Panting heavily as the transformation back to her real self. Looking up at the Pines family, she stared at them for a moment. "Hey guys…"

"Wendy? Are you—" Patrick is interrupted when Wendy suddenly lunged at him and brought her arms around him in a hug. Breaking down in sobs as she clung to him. Whispering 'thank you' repeatedly. The nightmare was finally over.

* * *

Never in a million years had Patrick thought this could happen.

Afterwards, Patrick led Wendy to Veronica's car, as the twins and the elder woman got in. When Veronica started the car, she drove the kids back to the Mystery Shake. Figuring that it was best if Wendy slept with them for the night. Arriving at the Shake, Patrick led the traumatized and shaken Wendy to his room and closed the door. He let her have the bed, and he was laying on the couch located at the opposite end of the room.

While there was silence in the room, Patrick stared at Wendy, with her back was turned to face him. Worried about how she was feeling. Having her body twisted and transformed into something that it wasn't and having known that you've killed many animals wasn't something that any girl should have to go through. No matter how tough she was.

He rolled on his side, away from Wendy, and closed his eyes to try and fall asleep. "Patrick, are you still awake?" Wendy suddenly asked.

Patrick rolled back towards her, and saw the ginger looking at him with eyes that turned red from crying. It was heartbreaking to see the carefree girl so broke. "Yeah. Are you okay?"

There was a moment of silence before Wendy broke it. "I can't sleep," she said. Then paused with hesitation, she knew that she was already asking a lot from him, and what she was going to ask him was extremely weird, but she just couldn't sleep knowing that there will be nightmares of her being that _thing_. "Can you…lay down next to me? When mom was still around, she'd always do that to help me sleep whenever I was scared."

Patrick looked at her with wide eyes. Did she really ask for him to sleep with her? This couldn't really be happening. "…Okay." As much as he was reluctant to do it, Patrick got up and walked over to her in nothing but his boxers. He raised the covers and crawled into bed with her.

 **{Play music:** _ **A Real Hero**_ **by College and Electric Youth}**

Right when he got settled in, Wendy surprised him by wrapping her arms around his body and rested her head at the base of his neck. Patrick's heart beats faster when they made close contact. With her cloths destroyed, Wendy was wearing nothing but one of Patrick tank tops and a pair of shorts. Leaving her bare skin to rub against him. Patrick fought hard against his hormones as he wrapped his arm around her back. Just like an angel, her touch was soft, tender, and warm, and it didn't help that she entangled her legs with his.

Wendy's breathing quickened, as she too struggled with her hormones. She began to intimately massage his chest with her small hand as she listened to his heart beats. It enticed Patrick, and it made their position more comfortable.

She stopped when she heard him sigh. Wendy looked up and stared at him, while Patrick had closed his eyes and started falling asleep. Their faces only inches away from each other.

That's when all of the time she's spent with him came flooding into her head. When they first met. All the times they hung out. Going with him on some of their adventures and having a genuinely good time. How she felt guilty when she turned her back on him at the Dust 2 Dawn. How worried she was after he killed his clone. The fun she had with him at the carnival. The horror and fear she felt for him when he was possessed by the Trickster, and the joy when he was freed. And when he was there for her after she broke up with Robbie.

She gazed at him with eyes that held a huge amount of emotions, as it became clear to her why she was feeling the way she was around him for a long time. Wendy had known ever since seeing his drawing of her that Patrick had feelings for her. After everything he's done for her over the last few days, and just being with him, she's finally could see who Patrick really is to _her._

Patrick is a shield. A person that's willing to go through hell and extreme pain to protect her and everyone he cares about. It was his determination and willingness to save people that made him a hero in her eyes. Whenever she was with him, Wendy felt at ease and safe. Like she can be her true self and release all of her emotions—good or bad, around him and he would be there to listen, laugh, and comfort. He made her feel like every day was its own summer.

And now Wendy thinks it's obvious what she feels. But she couldn't really say it out loud. Maybe she was afraid of love, but with him, Wendy is more than willing to find out if her new feelings for him are true. But for now, there was one thing that was obvious to her.

She had a crush on Patrick Pines.

* * *

 **And there you go, whereas Boyz Crazy ended a period of sadness and loneliness for Patrick, this chapter brings us a romantic moment that I've been waiting to do for a long time.**

 **So, this isn't like how I planned it to be. I was planning for it to be heavily inspired by the** _ **Regular Show**_ **episode 'Skunked'. However, I decided to take inspiration from multiple werewolf/were-animal episodes from other shows like** _ **Adventure Time**_ **,** _ **Courage the Cowardly Dog**_ **, and even** _ **Wallace and Gromit**_ **helped inspire the werewolf parts of the chapter.**

 **A lot more bloodily and more on the horror factor that all my other chapters, but then again, werewolves and the concept of them is a very scary thing. Your body is violated and transformed painfully into something that will kill and you have no control of your actions. I've actually had to look up multiple cures for werewolves, and some of them weren't really working for me. So, I made one up, and rolled with it.**

 **Lastly, there's the ending. A moment for Patrick and Wendy that brings them together like never before. We see just what Wendy sees and feels for our boy. This is honestly one of the most difficult moments that I've had to do, as I wanted for her to realize that she loves Patrick but also be realistic about it. We all know what Patrick's feelings are, so now it's Wendy's turn. She really does see Patrick as a perfect guy, a protector, and a hero that she wants in her life. However, what's holding her back is that after so many failed relationships, Wendy is afraid to say that she loves another boy in fear that it'll only hurt her more if that relationship ends badly. Neither may not have said "I love you", it's the safety and at ease feeling she has around Patrick that allows her to be open and admit her crush on him.**

 **I'm not sorry to push their relationship to this point.**

 **I'm now going to be moving on to a story that I've been needing to do for a long time, "Welcome Back, Mr. ED!" and I'm hoping to get back to Weirder Things in the future.**

 **Thank you very much for reading. "Weirder Things" will return. Please be sure to Favorite and Follow if you like the story, and also Review it so that I know that I'm doing good and what to improve. If you any questions or discussions you'd have for me, then please in a Review or a PM me.**

 **Thank you for reading, may God bless you, and have a wonderful day.**


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